[Closed] How do I convince my wife not to get a wood burning stove

Divorce.

Good excuse to buy an axe and a chainsaw, everyone needs a good axe and a chainsaw.

I can think of few better predicaments. 😀

Just get it. You will get 100 smart replies on here from blokes, but deep down, we all know there is no replacement for keeping wifey happy.

Just tell her how much it will cost and then send her out to buy some Jimmy Choo's!!

by her a pink chainsaw and point out where the fuel is coming from....

Amount of dust in house, spiders in the logs, inefficient, who is going to light it/clean it

They are great btw but if you want some negatives ....

Sit her down and explain the modern world of electricity and gas central heating to her. Honestly the last hundred years or so have seen great advances in home heating.

show her the cost of getting someone to install it.....

show her the cost of getting someone to install it.....

Just in case she doesn't get it the first time, trail_rat?

You come on here asking about not installing a log burner?

what can I do?

Find out the most expensive local installers, and get someone in to quote for installation of their ponciest stove.

It's amazing how many stoves you might find you don't want if they have a £5k price tag.

Disclaimer: I have owned multiple stoves and liked them, but they're absurdly expensive for a metal/glass box attached to a tube poking up through the roof.

-alternatively-

get the woodburner
get an audi S4 on finance
grow a daft beard
retrain as IT middle management

just to make sure she really doesnt want it 😀

still got to decorate the living room

From experience, nothing. Just knuckle down, do your research, and console yourself with thoughts of Christmas by firelight.

And in your weaker moments counter any future spending requests with 'Well we could have done but spent £xk on that stove'.

I tried and failed this 2 or 3 years ago. Wife won, we got the stove. I do like it now but our house is 100+ years old and cold as **** in the winter. Value wise it's a total joke though, that kiln-dried wood isn't cheap.

that kiln-dried wood [s]isn't cheap.[/s] is a waste of money unless you keep it in your hermetically sealed vacumn woodstore.....

we keep it in the house! only buying a couple of bags at a time these days.

Sit her down and explain the modern world of electricity and gas central heating to her. Honestly the last hundred years or so have seen great advances in home heating.

Oh yes I do like coming in on cold winter evening to cuddle up with the wife around the radiator and watch it warm up, giving off those little air distortions and listening to the pipes expand, adds a great atmosphere to a room!

Point out to her in order to keep up the hipster image, you'll have to grow a hipster beard with those handle bar moustache things and shave your legs. That should sort it.

Get a load of uncut wood, hand saw & axe, tell her she can have the stove it she cuts/chops the wood*

*wouldn't work with my gf as she likes sawing wood 😀 but we don't have a log burner 🙁

How do I convince my wife not to get a wood burning stove

Just point out she'll have to clean it out every day/other day. Along with all her washing up/ironing/cleaning the bog/making the bed/getting the kids ready/cooking blah-di-blah duties...

That ought to kill it dead, you too probs.

Get a load of uncut wood,

Meanwhile, at stoner's pad...

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Send her on a wood chopping course. Tell her it is ideal for weight control etc.

Then behave and keep your mouth shut about the stove.

Because she'll be real handy with an axe.

How do I convince my wife not to get a wood burning stove

Let her sit on one for an hour. They're probably not as comfy as she imagines.

Are you an actual real man? Fire....wood...burning stuff - this is what men do. This is the zenith of man stuff. Men should be persuading women they NEED a stove, not the other way around.

Agreed there are some over hipster stoves worth a gazillion that are taking the piss but embrace your wife's pyromanic tendencies!

Let her sit on one for an hour. They're probably not as comfy as she imagines.

This advice is not universal, certainly not applicable to spin dryers.

Watch this over and over again until it sinks in 😆

there are some over hipster stoves [s]worth[/s] costing a gazillion

FTFY, etc.

Let her sit on one for an hour. They're probably not as comfy as she imagines.
This advice is not universal, certainly not applicable to spin dryers.

...or plumbers. 😐

You come on here asking about not installing a log burner?

Shouldn't he be banned for a few years?

Burn him.
Or not, i suppose.

DrP

Footflaps, you're right he really should be.

we keep it in the house! only buying a couple of bags at a time these days.

You buy dry kiln dried wood in small amounts and wonder why it's expensive!

Why would you not want one?
Let her have a stove, its not as if you don't get away with lots too

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I found it a bugger dragging my last two bags into the house......

tell her how polluting and stinky they are. My pet hate in cities, where on winter evenings you can't tell whether you're in a trendy part of town or a campsite, judging by the smell and ashfall.

I think log burners are like a lovely piece of art.
Yes, you could paint your walls with Wickes Emulsion and get better coverage for your money, but art is, well, art.
A log burner may not be as efficient as a new combi boiler, but it's just a nice 'superfluous item' that is nice. And nice things are nice, I reckon.

DrP

Why not up the poncy hipster stakes and buy a yurt to go with it?

tell her that woodburners are next as the environmental antichrist as soon a folks get fedup with beating up VW

loads of them seem to make more smoke than a WW1 battleship, stinky horrible things especially in buildup areas

loads of them seem to make more smoke than a WW1 battleship, stinky horrible things especially in buildup areas

Does a 'buildup' area make smoke stink more than usual?.

I quite like the smell of wood smoke on a cold damp evening......

a wood stove used right with well seasoned wood should only smoke on two occasions .... on start up and shut down.....

a wood stove being slumbered or burning wet wood will smoke like a rubber factory fire.....

She might object to the smell of the bucket of Diesel you'll need to keep in the living room in case of a fire ?

Jar.
A jar of diesel. Filled to the brim.
Safety first... 😉

DrP

I quite like the smell of wood smoke on a cold damp evening......

Agreed, but, it's not as good as napalm in the morning.

Napalm also gets up to heat much quicker than a wood burner....

The big problem here is a wife with a mind of her own.
I tend to keep permission to speak down to a minimum.

footflaps - Member
I quite like the smell of wood smoke on a cold damp evening......

However MrsT had her way and got one installed last winter, quite toasty 🙂

Rugs on the floor, a few cushions, wine, proseco etc......... 😉

Rugs on the floor, a few cushions, wine, proseco etc

Yes, that was a benefit I didn't anticipate. 8)

Yes, that was a benefit I didn't anticipate.

I have heard a story from an A&E doctor of a gentleman who suffered some nasty burns to his derriere after rolling over too enthusiastically during a hearthside wrestling match. Practice safe sex, use a fireguard!

If your house is only 25 years old then the chimney may not have a class one flue. Lining it may be an issue too.

If your house is only 25 years old then the chimney may not have a class one flue. Lining it may be an issue too.

Dammit you're right DrP, that could be a risk. I've sorted out a jar.

It's right next to be bucket just in case.

"Good excuse to buy an axe and a chainsaw, everyone needs a good axe and a chainsaw"

That will stop her moaning . But you'll have to find some other way of getting rid of the body parts as you can't burn them on a radiator.

Do you really want to look out onto a scene like this? Tread carefully. It's addictive.

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We got rid of the one we inherited when we bought our house. Burning trees innit?

a jar! who keeps diesel in a jar? you keep it in an old washing up bottle for easy squirting

[quotea jar! who keeps diesel in a jar?

I do for chain cleaning. Don't throw chain cleaning diesel on a fire though, oily marks on the floor that won't come out without more diesel.

The place in France with that many drapeaux tricolores is FN headquarters in Nice.

The alternative is insulation.