[Closed] how abusive can you be to cold callers?

wasnt there a chap recently who successfully managed to bill them for his time?

I was asked if I ;d had an accident in the past three years;

Me: "I got a paper cut about 6 months ago."

Him: "I meant something requiring medical treatment."

Me: "Well I had to put a plaster on it."

Him: "Thank you for your time."

don't angry, get obtuse.

probably wrong to be abusive, it's not them ringing you, its a computer and they probably hate working there as much as you hate getting cold calls. Far more fun is to either chat nonsense to them (if you have the time), or when they ask for Mr DONK, just say "hang on I'll go and get him.." and then leave the phone on the side until they hang up.

i been getting a few each day about my PPI- Loan stuff etc-- even though i have had none--when you politely insist , they hang up --barstewards--just keep saying hello works well, they give up quick, and yeah if you in the mood it can be fun ...

Getting angry is pointless. Will just make you more angry and appear like a cock. They're only doing their job, just hang up if it offends you that much.

Don't get angry at them, get angry at the muppets who actually buy their wares/services. Without them such companies wouldn't exist

You could try this approach

I enjoy getting angry with them. I find hurling abuse at complete strangers who shouldn't be calling me to be very therapeutic. If they can't take a joke they shouldn't have joined.

"Have you had an accident in the last 6 months?"
"Well, I sharted yesterday, if that counts..."

Feel free to use....

DrP

I had the 'this is microsoft calling.. you have a virus' scammers.. I pretended to be totally inept and managed to keep the guy on the phone for over half an hour whilst trying to follow his instructions.

Was great fun and annoyed him greatly when he finally realised.

I don't get angry with them, I ask them to hang on & I'll just go a get the person they're asking for(I never say it's me on the phone when anyone phones, not until I find out who is calling first) ,put the phone down with speaker phone on & then carry on with whatever I was doing before.It then wastes their time & not mine,also makes me laugh when they start saying hello,helllooooo or is anyone there etc ..........

My mum used to blow a refs whistle down the receiver.
Best to remove the phone from your ear first though.

I agree with mess them about.
Caller- have you had any accidents in the last three years?
Me- yes last week
Caller- sorry to hear that, can you tell me about the accident?
Me- certainly, I was outside tescos last week and had a bad accident
Caller- oh dear, what happened?
Me- well I broke wind and accidentally followed through, but I don't think tescos were at fault. Do you think I have a case against the Indian takeaway I had the previous night?

It all went quiet for a bit so I put the phone down.
They not rung me back, so don't thinka claim is in the wind for me

I have at times been so out of order to these people and have as yet had no repercussions.
They waste my time by calling they can at least listen to my abuse!

A combination of TPS and caller display means that I don't often pick up these calls but 2 weeks ago I picked one up when I mistook a number.
PPI as it turned out, very pleasent chap but a bit dim as no matter how many ways I told him I had never taken any PPI out he kept repeating the company mantra!

Did manage to finish the call wishing him a happy life but don't phone me again, felt better than being nasty.

I love dumping a shed load of profane abuse on these fools. So much fun.

[i]My mum used to blow a refs whistle down the receiver.
Best to remove the phone from your ear first though.[/i]

Not a good idea...especially if its a legit firm such as a bank/utility company. If they have your details on file you could find an assault charge coming your way...

I normally stay polite until I have told them I'm not interested for the second time, if they continue to persist then verbal abuse is fair game in my opinion as they are asking for it 🙂

I use TPS which works well but some still call. First I explain I am on the TPS register - at this point many apologise and say goodbye. Some are more persistent so I politely tell them I am not interested, wish them a good day and hang up.

Abusing people who are most likely struggling to make a few quid to keep a roof over their families heads would make me rather a prick, don't you think?

Just answer, wait for any questions, such as, "How are you today?" and answer with, "Let me check"

Then leave the phone off the hook, on your desk.

My favourites are the ones who ring and say:

"Hello, is that Mr [insert any name they can think of]?" just to get an in to speak to you. I once said "yes, that's me" and the cold caller, thinking he had hit pot luck by miraculously getting my name right, then went on to tell me he was calling from my bank and that a Direct Debit had been authorised and wanted me to to confirm that it was fine to go ahead. He explained he would need some security details from me:

[b]"Can you confirm the first line of your address?"[/b]
"yes"
[b]"Can you confirm it for me please sir?"[/b]
"yes, absolutely"
[b]"Go ahead then sir"[/b]
"well, you tell me what you have on record and I'll confirm if it is correct?"
[b]"No, I need you to confirm that the address we have on record is correct?"[/b]
"So what address do you have on record?"
[b]"I need you to tell me the first line of your address?"[/b]
"Well don't you already have that information?"
Getting agitated.
[b]"Yes but I need you to confirm it!"[/b]
"Ok, so what do you have written down?"
[b]"No sir, this is for security, you tell me your address and I confirm if it is correct"[/b]
"but I already know that my address is correct. I live here"
[b]"yes but for your security we need you to confirm that our information matches"[/b]
"that's good to know, so can you confirm what address you have written down for me then? It's for my security you see"

Hangs up.

The game is to try to get them to be abusive. The rules are that you cannot swear at them - just keep politely fishing for raw nerves... My favourite: (drop into general conversation) "How much more do you think you would be earning now if you had a real job, having tried a bit harder at school?" That has worked more than once...

I'm on the "be polite but firm" side of the fence, unless it's obviously a scammer, in which case you should keep them on the phone as long as possible.

As someone else has said, it's human beings doing a crappy mind-numbing job.

I did have a call from Amex the other week that went something like..... "I'm calling from American Express (which they were), can you confirm your identity?", me "No, you called me, so you should know who I am, and I don't give that kind of information out over the phone to people who call me - it's a security risk, don't you agree?", Amex "Ah, OK, bye".

Best way (and this works for door to door callers too) is just to say, in a calm and reasonable tone, "I'm sorry, but I don't deal with cold callers"

And then answer whatever they say with a repeat. Rarely have to go past three or four times.

Andy

(pet hate: people phoning up looking for/assuming I am Mr (wife's name) - absolutely sure fire way of making me light off as local Vauxhall dealer managed to find out on Wed)

Pick up phone.
Pause.
Wait until caller speaks.
Invariably I just then hang up.

No abuse necessary.

on a similar note i had a knock on the door from a lad working for a tv company owned by one Mr Branson, i invited him in as it was pissing down outside and i was fairly interested in what he had to say as mr murdochs company is doing my box in. he smelt the aroma of wacky baccy in the air and asked if i wouldn't mind skinning up! i did the hospitable thing and obliged and we spent the next hour chattin and getting stoned. never did end up signing up for it though, think he might have forgot about it 😆

wasnt there a chap recently who successfully managed to bill them for his time?

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20068927 ]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20068927[/url]

Anyone who abuses people cold calling is a complete arsehole in my opinion.

Even wasting their time makes you half way there too.

Just hang up ffs.

Or sort out TPS if even having to answer the phone takes up too much of your valuable time.

People are trying to earn a living and pay the bills, they don't deserve abuse for that.

Anyone in an office? I want to know how many times you can transfer a cold caller around the office to all your colleagues, with each one concocting some obscure injury, before they hang up 🙂

[i]People are trying to earn a living and pay the bills, they don't deserve abuse for that.[/i]

Agree, to a point. Once you get into PPI and claims companies that are calling with no regard to the TPS, and they won't accept no for an answer, then why not?

I was doing some unrelated work in an office where people were being called to tell them they had got through to the final round to win a car. In none of the countless calls I overheard could the person remember this competition they had apparently entered in a shopping centre, but then the sales patter would start and they would try and convince the person to set up a direct debit so they could be entered into over 100 competitions a month. Unfortunately, the work I was doing was going to allow the boss to install an auto-dialler so he could annoy even more people. And the amount of abuse directed at people after a failed call was shocking.

My mum used to blow a refs whistle down the receiver.

Oh! matron.

I'd love to be able to do something like this:

I'm a big fan of answering, putting them on speaker phone and then just carrying on with what I was doing anyway....I've had some of them get quite narky with this approach, very satisfying. Had a land agency call me up most days for months, I'd managed to hook them by answering that 'yes, I do have some money to invest in land'.....it was like shooting fish in a barrel....I'd do the 'hello, hello?' thing in response to their calls too....amused me no end, sad I know.

In the end they stopped calling, I miss those days. Good times.

I just tend to mention TPS which usually gets rid of them. If it doesn't I throw in that I'm a data protection lawyer :p

Rather than get arsey with them I tend to be OK with them but follow it up with the relevant company, particularly if I get more than one call. I have been known to put in subject access requests in an attempt to find out where they got my information.

Although having said that I don't get arsey, whenever I take this type of call and there's someone listening (work colleagues/people I'm with at the time) I tend to get comments about the firmness of my getting rid of them technique...

Mind you, one day if they call at a convenient time I'd like a long chat with them about how they can reduce my non-existent unsecured debts to something less than 0.

"sniff, daddy died, sniff sniff, this, sniff, morning"

Anyone who abuses people BY cold calling is a complete arsehole in my opinion.

I got very abusive to a power company cold caller who came to the door, he start the spiel, "We've noticed your using more energy than you should be and you are paying too much for it".... it took a second for the penny to drop and I was off "How the **** do you know how much energy we've been using?" and "how do you know how much we are paying for it ?" "Have you been spying on our meter ?". I was right in his face by now "Is this the back hand dodgey sales technique you use on the old and vunerable?" He's looking nervous now... "Whats your name then..." he's off down the street me shouting obscenities at him. Funny never saw him again.

Normally it's just a polite "no thanks, I'm not interested" but I told a guy to **** off and die yesterday. Third cold call in a row about PPI - not sure how the bastards have got my mobile number.

The first two was a polite no thanks, please remove this number from your records. The third time the guy started going on about the court case that decided my PPI claim has now been held and...

He didn't get any further but he does now know that I don't have a PPI claim!

I've actually had a cold caller ring back to abuse me.
Usually I just say "no thanks" and put the phone down, but on one occasion I was so annoyed with the lies the caller was feeding me about my non-existent PPI insurance claim that I played along for a bit. I ended up politely but insistently demanding to know how they had got my details, and asking to speak to a supervisor. The cold caller hung up, but rang back a few minutes later with an extended rant including how I "did not having a proper job", "couldn't provide for my children" and needed "psychiatric help"
I was quite surprised he went the extra mile, instead of spending his time trying to hit his sales target with some other poor victim.

Anyone who abuses people BY cold calling is a complete arsehole in my opinion.

FIFY

It's not "abuse" to have answer (or ignore) the phone.

It's not even that hard to do.

If you think it's OK to verbally abuse some poor sod just for doing a job they more than likely hate so they can pay the bills then I feel sorry for you. I genuinely do.

It's not "abuse" to have answer (or ignore) the phone.

It is when they call several times a day & won't take no for an answer.

This may help.Dont abuse the staff on calls as they go to work just like us.

http://saynotocoldcalls.com/index.html

Nice line from the website above:

We all deserve to have peace and quiet in our own homes without being disturbed by “intruders” telling us “lies”.

A door to door guy came by the other night when I fixing the dinner and I went to answer the door - forgetting the rather large butcher's knife in my hand. I think the guy was new, he panicked and apologised then ran off!!

It is when they call several times a day & won't take no for an answer.

No it's not.

It's not even close to "Abuse"

It's mildly annoying 🙄

Just ignore it, or answer it and hang up once you know what it is.

Abuse is uncalled for.

I have been known to put in subject access requests in an attempt to find out where they got my information

Whistle one I've heard about, pretty unfair unless its a complete arsehole who won't leave you alone.

And yeah I said in op they have jobs to do. My sis worked selling insurance for a while, she denied it was cold calling and the ringees had signed up to be contacted, pretty sure it was one of those "tick here if you do not wish to not be contacted" when you sign up for stuff. gave her a fair bit of gyp about "tepid" calling.

It's not the fault of the poor git trying to earn a living ringing you.
I just put the phone on mute, they get e ten minute break, there company gets a big phone bill.
The accident ones,
"i didn't realise I could claim for that, it wasn't her fault, she just got a bit overzealous with her teeth while...."

Silent calls are worse than the ones where someone tried to sell you something, IMO.

As abusive as I like.

Anyone who abuses people cold calling is a complete arsehole in my opinion.

Then your subsequent posts.....

Not entirely true. I have only ever once 'abused' a cold caller.

He rang me trying to sell me a new phone as my contract as due. I politely responded that yes it was due but I had already agreed a new contract etc, so thank you but no thank you. He then completely ignored me statement and went on to continue selling to me. I told him to please stop as I am not interested and in a bit of a hurry today. He continued ignoring my polite request for a third time. At which point I exploded down the phone at him.

What he didn't know was.my wife had been in a very serious accident the night before and I was trying to get shopping in for her hospital stay. He didn't need to know this, but he should have respected my rights when I asked him nicely.

I just hang up, dont see the point in anything else. Well, unless you are 12, then i could see how you might find it funny.

Giving them abuse is too easy... have some fun instead:

Just ignore it, or answer it and hang up once you know what it is.

Why should I have to?

The idea of a 'job' is that you provide goods/services etc that the other person (the 'customer') wants from you. You are rather missing the point if you think that other people are there to be scammed so that you can earn some money. I object to people phoning up & trying to find the gullible or the vulnerable and make a living out of getting them to take something they neither need nor asked for. This is why cold callers get abuse. If you don't like it....don't cold call.

Sometimes when i am at a freinds house, so the be nice ruiles dont apply.

Caller, Hello could i speak to mr herbert please,

me, sorry he isnt here today,but can i help

caller,and you are, sir,

me, no just plain Dr im sorry,

caller, hello Dr could i take your surname and first name please,

me, yes its Dr Who,

Caller, Dr Who, Dr Who what is is your first name please,

me, People just call me DR,

caller,Could you please tell me the address youre at,
please,

me,Galafray, 15 billion light years from your sun, currently in orbit around uranus,

Caller, do you have a postcode please,

Me, postcodes are for earthlings, not intergalactic time travelers.

Caller this is a wind up, right.

Me , i have no concept as to what a wind up is,

Caller, but youre said youre Dr Who, and youre from the planet Galafray,

me, YES THAT IS CORRECT, MUST GO, X FACTOR HAS JUST STARTED,

Dont put the phone down, but listen to the conversation on the phone as the person tells his workmates he has had a weirdo on the phone.

[b]He then completely ignored me statement[/b] and went on to continue selling to me.

My Grandfather simply says "Ring here again and I will find you then murder you"

Also have a look at you tube, angry bt customer, it may not be available now.

I hang up...... not until I've given them abuse though. "F... off you c... wasting my time with your f...ing bellend phone calls."

Makes me happy. 8)

Whoa anyone who blows a whistle or abusive needs to grow up.

Just say no thanks/bye and hang up.

How small minded. The mark of the person is how you conduct yourself-manners.

The mark of the person is how you conduct yourself-manners.

Indeed. Some would do well to realise that translates to how you conduct yourself in a forum too.

❓ do you need help constructing analogies that work?

He rang me trying to sell me a new phone as my contract as due. I politely responded that yes it was due but I had already agreed a new contract etc, so thank you but no thank you. He then completely ignored me statement and went on to continue selling to me. I told him to please stop as I am not interested and in a bit of a hurry today. He continued ignoring my polite request for a third time. At which point I exploded down the phone at him.
What he didn't know was.my wife had been in a very serious accident the night before and I was trying to get shopping in for her hospital stay. He didn't need to know this, but he should have respected my rights when I asked him nicely.

Do you not know how to hang up the phone ?

If you do, that's what I would recommend.

There's some brilliant YouTube footage of a guy in the US pretending to be a homicide detective questioning the cold caller from the "murder scene" - how did you get this number, have you ever contacted the deceased before, what's your office address? etc etc.

I sing my own hold music? Enya really works, they don't stay on the line long for that one.

Do you not know how to hang up the phone ?

Yup, but that normally means they will ring again.

I prefer to make them aware what I think about them.... Unsolicited feedback perhaps, but hey, that's irony.

"sorry dude i'm not interested, not going to waste your time by hanging on the phone and pretending to be"

"oh ok sir"

"have a good day"

"cheers"

job done.

do you need help constructing analogies that work?

Like so.

Repeat offenders get a blast of this.

[img] [/img]

This cold caller is a bit of a troll

[url= https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.netqin.mm&feature=search_result#?t=W251bGwsMSwyLDEsImNvbS5uZXRxaW4ubW0iXQ.. ]Get this to block numbers on your phone.[/url]

Cold calls are an invasion of privacy, hence as far as I'm concerned as much abuse as you feel like dishing out is perfectly acceptable. That said I usually give a polite "no thanks" then hang-up.

I did lose it bigtime once though. My wife worked evenings when the kids were small so I had to come home from work and do tea, bath, book, bedtime etc with two small nippers. A bunch of ***** called Mosaic Coatings got hold of our landline number and started to call EVERY evening, often twice and would not take no for an answer. Unfortunately they once called just as I was majorly stressed - I've never gone quite so mental or been so foul-mouthed, abusive, and downright unpleasant in my life. The woman on the other end ended up sobbing hysterically down the phone.

Not proud of it but equally it was asked for.

They never called me again 😀

Yup, but that normally means they will ring again.
I prefer to make them aware what I think about them.... Unsolicited feedback perhaps, but hey, that's irony.

Autodiallers don't really work like that. (They don't really understand your feedback because they are machines)

All you need to do is say "thanks but I am not interested, goodbye"

If you get a callback, chances are its a different company selling the same thing, they all buy the same lists.

I've only ever been abusive to the guy who called me to tell me my computer had a virus and then got abusive for me wasting his time. He got an ear full and he deserved it.

Cold callers usually get a "I've said no x times now, I could be more direct if you prefer".

"Are you over 18 years of age? (repeat until you get an affirmative)

Just a minute I need to start recording this and check I've got your number ... OK, I'm ready, this service will be billed 1,50e a minute, do you wish to continue? (keep insisting on their agreement which eventually results in them hanging up - one day I'll get it and continue)

This service is of an explicitly sexual nature, if you do not wish to continue please hang up. To continue means you have entered into a legally binding contract, and accept both my billing rate and the sexually explicit nature of the conversation."

I'm sure you can make up the rest.

Edit: You do need to be careful, I got a call that sounded like a noisy call centre and went off on similar tangent but it was an army sergeant calling to confirm the dates of a work placement my son was doing. He saw the funny side. 😳

It's ok Hora, she's dead now.
Got a pea stuck in her throat.

TPS for us, not had a cold call in yonks.

Cold calling is no honourable way to earn a crust. I've always wondered how desperate you'd have to be to do it as a living. I'd rather stack shelves, pick or process veg, clean toilets. Pretty much anything.

But...who are the asshats that buy the crap they are selling? There must be some or it just wouldn't make financial sense. I wonder what the hit rate is they need to break even - one in a hundred, a thousand? If we could identify that one in whatever **** and remove their ability to use a phone the rest of us would have to find a different outlet for our pent up anger!

Cold calling is no honourable way to earn a crust. I've always wondered how desperate you'd have to be to do it as a living. I'd rather stack shelves, pick or process veg, clean toilets. Pretty much anything.

This.

I once completely lost it with an indian woman who phoned up on a Sunday morning - picked up the phone expecting a call from my gf whom I was waiting for a call to pick her up after work & I said to her -
"I'm really sorry but I'm not interested & am going to be a bit rude & hang up..."
I hung up, 5mins later the phone rand again & it was the same woman..
"didn't I just tell you I'm not interested? I'm hanging up now"
I hung up
2mins later the same woman -
"F Off, F Off, F Off, you mf cing "
I hang up - 2mins later she phones back again I almost throw the phone out the house!!

When my GF did call, I noticed there was a voice mail, it was from her telling me how rude english people are...

I've temped in a call centre BTW. One of the jobs was for a British transport company so I was sat in a call centre in SW France taking calls from travelers wondering what had happened to their train in England. The ones that lost their rag broke the monotony.

Do you not know how to hang up the phone ? If you do, that's what I would recommend.

Do you know you effectively abused me by calling me an arsehole?