[Closed] Holy Crap! Arrggghhh!!!!

You're in Australia aren't you? So yes, you will die.

You're in Australia aren't you? So yes, you will die.

They don't even mention the ants!

This bastard looks like it would 'ave a shark given half a chance. It's buggered off behind my desk for now. I suspect it's plotting...

"Never get out of the boat." Absolutely goddamn right!

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Bull Ant innit? Don't let it bite you, hurts more than a wasp sting (I once crashed my bike into a nest of 'em as a lad, took a couple of dozen bites/stings, never forget the pain! Lucky I wasn't allergic!) very aggressive ants in the defense of their nests, poke one of the holes with a stick and watch how may rush out spoiling for a fight! 😯

Bloody hell - some of these come with wings! 😯

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrmecia

So boat or no boat you're still dead.

poke one of the holes with a stick and watch how may rush out spoiling for a fight

This one's not in a hole, it's in my office. What are the chances of an amicable solution?

😯 I hate ikkies..

All ants come with wings. They grow them for a period of time in the spring so they can swarm all over your garden and kids looking for new nests.

It's probably monitoring you, looking for signs of weakness

All ants come with wings

I was rather hoping that these would prove the exception to that rule

Also had one of them sting me just below the eye whilst riding along (it was flying obviously), again, hurt and my eye puffed up somI couldn't see out of it... It's fun growing up in Australia I tell 'ee

have you checked your pockets?
pocket lint is like crack to bull ants.
and your ears?
they anesthetize your ears and lay eggs that hatch and burrow into your brain.
probably.

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Bugger this, I'm going home. I didn't sign up for this shit!

i understand these scout ants will be looking for somewhere dark and moist to build a colony, somewhere with a very small entry/exit point.

are you wearing cycle clips, might be a good time to put them on

Is it a "jackjumper"?

Looks like one - native to Tasmania their bite is really painful and has a high likelyhood of causing anaphalaxis.

Nuke the site form orbit its the only way to be sure

Just wait until it becomes an adult...

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there is only one solution.
burn it.
burn it down.

^^^^^^

I got stung by one a few weeks ago. Reached into the esky for a cold bottle and it was on the neck of the bottle. Luckily it only stung me on the finger but bloody hurt. The joys of Australian nasties. I have had to a bunny-hop snake in mid summer

you mean snake-hop

Youngest Cursing narrowly missed one of these a couple of weeks ago. He was pretty chilled unlike me.
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Biggest drama was the bloke who came down the trail a few seconds after us finding us blocking the trail.

I came pretty close to having to bunnyhop a snake about 2 miles from the centre of Cardiff.

Please Mr Bull Ant bite herr zokes please please please 😉

Had to bunnyhop an Adder who was sunning himself on a Simonside fireroad a few years ago.
Actually I have seem way more snaked in UK than I have in Aus. Sadly the ones here are a little less benign.

Please Mr Bull Ant bite herr zokes please please please

Too late piggy, i've buggered off home and left him to take over my office

I came pretty close to having to bunnyhop a snake about 2 miles from the centre of Cardiff.

Ha ha, I don't know what is wrong with the creepy crawly things here but they either seem to be huge or mental or both! Was watching a spider on the ceiling last night, it kept just jumping off the ceiling and hanging down on its thread, I think it may have been trying to judge how far away I was and calculate how fast it could jump down, bite me, then run back up!

Mate of mine quit Oz and returned to the mother country after this experience.

Took family to a barby at a mates place. At the end of the evening gets kids who by now are asleep and puts them onto back seat of the car. Wife and he get in and turn the headlights on, only to see the biggest meanest **** off spider on the windscreen. Wifes on the verge of wetting herself so he boldy says "it'll be fine I'll knock it off with the wipers" as he flicks wiper lever.... several second later the realisation sets in that it's still there and therefore on the inside. Cue screaming, general panic and flapping, followed by a whine of increasing pitch from Mrs to the effect that that it we're going home...

You missing my Northern face, Graham? 😉

Seriously though, what you've just described was a huntsman. Sadly quite a few probably die each year thanks to precisely that situation.

I suspect this ant would have that spider (and yours, wheelie) for breakfast.

Errr Of course .... 😯

<everything crossed and dear God please don't let him take that as a hint 😉 >

I was down one of the old mines I used to work in in W.A. I was crawling along a broken drive when my helmet light caught a big spider in its beam, smacked it with my hammer and pushed the squashed carcass out of the way. Returning about 30 mins later having finished my recce the spider had gone 😯 this worried me a bit so I had a hunt around for a bit and found it about 8ft down the drive. I then pummeled it into its component parts.

Another type of spider I think they are called golder orb weavers or something, they used to put these webs like nets between trees. Gorgeous gold coloured webs, alwayd wondered if they were trying to catch roos 😆

According to QI far more people die loosing control of their cars when they discover a spider behind the sun vizor and panic than they do from actual bites.

officaltob and others who know Cardiff - the snake was on the Taff trail behind Tesco. Musta been 3ft long which is apparently very big for an adder. Plenty of slow fat rats eating supermarket scraps I suppose on which to get big.

Friend of my wife's emigrated to Australia and told us about the various animals that can kill you.

I don't think the country is inhabitable to be honest.

There are 4 ft high chickens with a razor sharp bone on top of their head that will disembowel you if you look at them funny.

These things;

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They may not be chickens...they're called cassowarys

Gorgeous gold coloured webs

Not so highly visible at night, hence:

they were trying to catch [s]roos[/s] mountain bikers

Returning about 30 mins later having finished my recce the spider had gone this worried me a bit so I had a hunt around for a bit and found it about 8ft down the drive. I then pummeled it into its component parts.

I suppose that's preferable to the other option.... that something bigger ate it! 😆

I for one would welcome our new Insect Overlord.......

Well, this has to be the first time for a long time that I've been slightly nervous about going to work...

This is reminding me of the Fosters advert where some tinnies fall into a flooded area, bloke wades in to get them, says to his mate, 'hey, mate, any sharks in here?', to which his mate replies, 'nah, no sharks.' Pause ' Crocodiles ate all the sharks'. Which still makes me smile.
It seems that Oz is pretty much inhabited with just about every reptile and invertebrate that will go for a human, or anything else that moves, with extreme predjudice!
Not to mention the bloody sea life!
Box jellyfish, anyone?

Well, the only think keeping the sharks safe from this bastard is that it can't swim, I think...

Box jellyfish, anyone?

No, that's just taking extreme sports a step too far.

We did a valve once, for a system that fits under houses in Oz, that periodically blasts the underside with insecticide. 😯