[Closed] Here's one for the STW Masses: Online Dating Cliche's

Dating coach Laurie Davis loves laughing at this generic assertion. She is paid to rewrite people's dating profiles…..

Wow. There is a job as a 'Dating Coach'.

I've always known that Hora was just waiting for something was a true vocation. He'd be a natural

"Now… lets run through it all again…… Have you mentioned the back doors? And the flash grenades?" 😆

Oh here's an idea.

One of the singletons on STW writes a profile for POF or whatever and then Hora takes that info and writes his own version of it.

We then see which one does best for the (un)lucky reciepeint... their own or the Hora-ised version of them

"I like girls.... Especially ones who enjoy wiping my jizz off...."

Well... you know the rest..

OK, so it's a wild stab in the dark, but at least you can be sure the ones who contact you are up for it 🙂

After all, no-one is really hoping to fall in love on it are they ?

Hora would add in enjoyment of Centre Parcs a pre-requisite.

When I was on-line dating years and years ago the word gregarious was used far too often on female profiles. I got a journalist friend to write mine and as the now Wife confirms,`if it was not for your funny profile I would not have touched you with a barge pole as you were too old, too short and lived too far away.' 😀

I always maintained that a business specialising in sofas, DVDs and wine would be a killer proposition for the boring buggers who wrote that.

'Bubbly' also means 'chubby'. Scientific fact.

Doesn't the sofa/DVD thing mean "mechanical hoist required to move me" ?

My own 'research' may be out of date now, but it tended to indicate women with little or no imagination and / or no hobbies or other activities.

My own 'research' may be out of date now, but it tended to indicate women with little or no imagination and / or no hobbies or other activities.

Your research was all for science, naturally.

No! bubbly = annoying

A few extra pounds = zeppelin

Curvy = Balloon

I like Salsa = couldn't think of a decent hobby

Looking for fun = likes dogging

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/online-dating-updates#post-5657723 ]Keep up at the back![/url] Some of us are in this properly you know! 😀

No playas!

Keep up at the back! Some of us are in this properly you know!

The Scottish MTB scene is quite small, guess what we've got in common? Better to email than post inline...

I like curling up infront of the tv, a good book, pub lunches and beach holidays.

These are normally written by 28-40yr old females. You'd think a lethargic, older woman had written it. Such women only WANT a Brad Pitt double.
Any pic of woman holding alcoholic drink.

Wow you look fun. Imagine one of a bloke holding a pint and winking..

Hang on that sounds good blokewise 😆

<missnotax runs off to amend her profile>

<missnotax runs off to amend her profile>

Are you removing the cliches or adding a few new ones? 😉

Photographs at a festival wearing denim shorts and hunter wellies.
Photos On a beach jumping in to the air and kicking legs back.
Photos with duck pout/sucking invisible spaghetti
Photos laying on a poor tranq'd tiger in Thailand
Photos sat in a giant polo mint on a photoshoot
Photos with hand on hip, stood side on to camera, head tilted as far as it can get to shoulder, knee bent, stupid pout, and stupid eyebrows.
Photos of a group, every single photo of a group of girls, no idea who you are.

Any of the above is an immediate no for me (admittedly it doesn't leave many girls left!)

I shall go on when I think of more

Doesn't the sofa/DVD thing mean "mechanical hoist required to move me" ?

"Did the earth move for you too?"

"I don't think it had any choice"

Photographs at a festival wearing denim shorts and hunter wellies.
Photos On a beach jumping in to the air and kicking legs back.
Photos with duck pout/sucking invisible spaghetti
Photos laying on a poor tranq'd tiger in Thailand
Photos sat in a giant polo mint on a photoshoot
Photos with hand on hip, stood side on to camera, head tilted as far as it can get to shoulder, knee bent, stupid pout, and stupid eyebrows.
Photos of a group, every single photo of a group of girls, no idea who you are.

Any of the above is an immediate no for me (admittedly it doesn't leave many girls left!)

I shall go on when I think of more

Please do that make me laugh out loud. So true!! And we all know what "I like to try new things." means.

Unconventional = smelly but back door smashing is expected.

"I'm quite introverted but sociable"

WTF

I like cats and smell of wee......

Houns, what sort of photo do you want these poor women to post?

I've said this before- I know a few ladies who have been on dating sites- they've either used OLD photo's from 4+yrs ago when they were in their 20's or heavily instagramed a current pic.

For me- I'd rather put loads of current ones up and get one hit a year than stress out that I'll go on a date with someone and they'll be disappointed and just want to be friends. Harsh on me but hey.

Houns, what sort of photo do you want these poor women to post?

Ha! Just a picture with them smiling and not looking ridiculous. Not much to ask for

Girls love men who are into macho things like scuba diving and snorkelling, so don't forget to mention that you love watersports 😈

[i]Photos with hand on hip, stood side on to camera, head tilted as far as it can get to shoulder, knee bent, stupid pout, and stupid eyebrows[/i]

That really doesn't leave many!

Selfie lying on a pillow
Photo with kid/kids ("my wonderful god daughter")
Tandem sky dive photo from 1998

"It helps if you look like George Clooney/Brad Pitt/John Prescott"
"Looks aren't important" (But I'll ignore you anyway)
"Don't think I'm being ignorant if I don't reply" (er, you are.)
"I'm serious and looking for someone to marry" (Yeah, me too! 😆 )

Im looking for an honest and kind man

Well you are hardly going to say you want a Rwandan on the run from Genoside charges FFS