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Bagsy never, ever meeting any of the people who have suggested having sex with / killing a dying woman (if it's genuine). You really do need to have a word with yourselves.
Sue_W you probably dont understand me or where I am coming from, trying to make lighthearted of it, I was around death maybe at too young an age and am quite haqrdened to it, I have also lost friends at early ages and indeed currently have a friend dying of cancer, and in my experience all of those who are suffering dont want to be treated as victims or get loads of sympathy, invariably they want poeple who will act normally and tell them crude and nonpolitically correct jokes, they go through a tough enough time of it as it is without people constantly reminding them of it!
Also the ladies of the forum think she is up to something odd - listen to them, they are better at this stuff than we are!
I don't know, there are numerous scenarios.
1) She’s dying and genuinely wants to make amends with people she’s wronged – it may have been a long time ago, but if you’re faced with mortality you are more likely to look back and think about things you particularly enjoyed or regretted. She wants to shuffle off the mortal coil with a clean conscience.
2) She’s dying and doesn’t have many friends or family, and is reaching out to anyone who she perceives shared a significant part of her life with, just so she doesn’t die alone and unnoted.
3) She was curious about the OP so hunted him out on Facebook, and got offended/overly curious when he rejected her friend request. She made the story about dying because she wants him to accept so she can dig into his life, just because she’s a weird stalker. Because let’s face it, the request of a dying person is a bit hard to ignore, and a bit hard to accuse of lying.
Ultimately it’s up to the OP – which of the above sounds most like your ex? Can you live with ignoring her request if she is genuinely ill? If you have a current partner, what do they think? Their wishes should come before an ex of 20 years ago, even if she’s dying.
Another thing to bear in mind is that she's called you her 'soulmate' - seeing her might actually might make things worse for her, because you've moved on and it sounds like she wants more than you're able to give.
You don't give much away on the context of the orginal relationship (which may be intentional).
Was this a longer term / emotional committment / partners at the time (in which case perhaps you should follow up, if only for your own sake) or was it just a short relationship that never really went anywhere?
funnily enough Mrstoast reply no 3 was exactly what popped into my mind. If you aren't going to strap on a jetpack and hit getoutohere then how about setting up another facebook account so you don't need to open up your current history
the hustler unfortunately we can only judge you based on what you post.
posting an explanation a couple of hours later might help but it doesn't make it better.
you have no idea on the OP's or his ex-girlfreinds sense of humour or whether they'd feel your comments are ROFL worth or just insensitive and a way of dealign with your own discomfort.
if someone's ill and makes light of their illness then I'll join in but I wouldn't initiate it.
"Advice, bitching, derision and comedy responses welcome."
Some EarnestTrackWorld members should read the original post. 😉
Not mentioning any names.
If it was me I would walk away and keep on doing so.
She is from your past and do you really want her bringing back into your present?
wwaswas looks like glittergary (which is probably an ironic name in a similar veign) has just beat me to a reply....
ignore!
and do youself a favour and take yourself off facebook, the most evil invention since the gun!
Brutal truth? It will make no difference to you if she dies, given that she's not been in contact for 20 years and you had no intent to contact her again. Have a bit of Facebook chatter, share some old pics then move on, its sad when people die, but this person is no longer part of your life.
Ive been on the arse end of a 'dying stalky ex', despite her only having 6 months to live she made me miserable for years.
IMO if she just wanted to apologise she could have just done so, no need to wait so long, or mention her illness come to that, and if you truly are her 'soulmate' wheres she been all this time, the manipulation has already started.
If you do meet her, dont tell your partner, take her.
This is exactly why I wont go near facebook.
Th fact that as a woman she has [b][i]admitted to being in the wrong[/b][/i] sets off major alarm bells for me. IME this only happens if there is a sinister ulterior motive.
I am only half-joking.
My advice: avoid.
Th fact that as a woman she has admitted to being in the wrong sets off major alarm bells for me. IME this only happens if there is a sinister ulterior motive.
She didn't admit it, she said she wanted to 'right some wrongs'. She didn't say who committed the wrongs. 😛
She's an ex, and ex who is about to become an Ex-ex.
It's been a long time - I'd just send wishes and leave it at that.
TBH - it does sound very odd. I'd be more than my normal paranoid if any of my ex's contacted me with such a story.
I do wonder, if she's got the means to message you to tell you all this stuff, why she can't use the same medium to tell you what she wants to say rather than trying to heap you with emotional baggage that, being mercenary about it, simply isn't your problem or responsibility.
If it's genuine and I were in her position, I'd probably ask for your email address so I could say my piece. Dragging an ex back into my life would be out of order, IMHO.
Wow - I really thought this thread had finished last night, however, I wanted to say thank you to those of you who had clearly put a lot of thought into your replies.
Gary G has hit the nail on the head, I never mean for this to be taken so seriously otherwise I wouldn't have put on an open forum, it was just to promote some thought from the hive mind that is STW
So in closing I have decided that once a manipulative bitch always a manipulative bitch and I really wouldn't put it passed her to be making this up anyway. I won't be making any response to the message and I'm fine with that.
I am putting more thought into closing my facebook account though.
Sweez - you n me babe, how about it?
Plum