Help spec a bike to...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

[Closed] Help spec a bike to offend everyone.

99 Posts
68 Users
0 Reactions
183 Views
Posts: 806
Free Member
 

Fit loads of Superstar and One One parts then watch as STW and it's users spontaneously combust or regale you with bullsh*t stories of a mate of a mate of a mate who actually died from using them and then their outrageous customer service. 😉


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 3:04 pm
Posts: 12507
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Thats the idea the Met parachute is also a great shout.


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 3:08 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

The saddle must have a drawstring padded cover and point up at a ridiculous angle.

And the rear tyre must be way below recommended pressure.


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 3:14 pm
Posts: 95
Free Member
 

It has to have a childish/ironic/smutty name. The Saville Touch


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 3:17 pm
Posts: 33325
Full Member
 

I'm quite attracted to this one, ticks lots of boxes for me...

[img] [/img]

😉


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 6:44 pm
Posts: 33325
Full Member
 

Ummmm...

[img] [/img]

😯


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 6:46 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Hardtail, stickerbombed with owners name and component brands not on the bike.
54:16 fixie gearing
Long travel dual crown fork
Home made full aero disc wheel cover on the front
E-bike motor wheel on the back
1.3" slicks
Extreme comfort saddle (preferably with backrest)
BMX Handlebar
Tri clip ons with added commuter mirrors
Offensively loud air or electric horn
The longest and widest 29er rear mudguard possible to find
BSO mechanical disc calliper at the rear accompanied by a custom made 300mm rotor
V brake front brake (unclipped to avoid unwanted rubbing)


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 7:31 pm
Posts: 91000
Free Member
 

Jones with a suspension fork.


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 9:39 pm
Posts: 11884
Full Member
 

Now, who's going to source all the bits off the classifieds and put this swampdonkey together? 😀


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 9:54 pm
Posts: 2763
Free Member
 

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/splitting-the-curtis-s1-all-new-parts-pic ]Already been done.[/url]


 
Posted : 05/06/2014 10:04 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Spokey dokeys
Pauls thumbies


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 12:24 am
Posts: 357
Free Member
 

[img] [/img]

NEEDZ MOAR MIRRERZ!

On a switchblade as mentioned


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 12:33 am
Posts: 6257
Full Member
 

It absolutely must have one of these, preferably stuck to the rear face of [b]surroundedbyhills[/b]' trafficator:
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 1:23 am
Posts: 3190
Free Member
 

And a turbospoke....obvs

[img] [/img]

I got one for my nephew - he bloody loves it


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 3:28 am
Posts: 1324
Full Member
 

Saw this on Gumtree,
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 6:25 am
Posts: 0
 

One of thos large rear dropout mounted asjustable "lightweight" alloy kickstands - that stick out the back miles.

the bars should be high spec ones that were cut down narrow due to a "minor measuring mistake" and all controls set badly - brake levers pointing up, shifters near upside down bar remotes for forks and droppers et should be mounted on the bar ends and all excessivly long loops of cables should be poorly ziptied like a bunch of flowers idealy so thjat turning will ghost shift or drop the post.

Cassette should be a mega expensive one ideally wiht the one most(exclusively) use gear near worn out. The chain should be oiled witht he cheapest nastiest stuff possible.

Pedals will be clipless but fitted wiht flat shoe platforms with reflectors

At least one mech bolt cable clamp ned to ahve ben stripped or mangled during a self installed upgrade and replaced wiht a large whitworth bolt and hge washer - ideally the mech in question should be XTR or XX and scratched from the "fix"

The shifter should eb from another groupset (at the most extre other end of the spec range) or brand entirely and a differnt speed (shimano 10 speed rear mech and SRAM 9 speed shifter or vice versa)


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 7:54 am
Posts: 5139
Full Member
 

saddle too low


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 10:14 am
Posts: 65918
Free Member
 

taffy - Member

(shimano 10 speed rear mech and SRAM 9 speed shifter or vice versa)

Oy, that's a perfectly sensible combo. Bolt-action at the front, clutch at the back, sorted.


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 10:16 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

It'll need a full length chainguard as well. Suitably out of alignment to ensure the crank hits it on every revolution.

Speaking of which, mismatched cottered cranks?


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 10:34 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

we've mentioned bar ends but they need to be the ones that have a bend in. Pointed to the sky with the rider holding the bent over bit 6" above the actual bars so they can steer the monstrosity but have no chance of using the brakes without first letting go of the bars and moving their hand


 
Posted : 06/06/2014 11:40 am
Page 2 / 2

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!