 You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
Yes theres a chance it could be a very uncomfortable angle/feel for your friend and destroy/distance the friendship however she might also say 'wow/leftfield/never considered this but the answer is there/spoke to friends and I had a gem under my nose all along/lets give it a try'.
She might also see you as just a friend.
However if it was me there is noway I'd leave it/procrastinate any further.
I did this. Met a girl when I was 13, best friends. We even went to the same uni 300miles away- she had given me subtle hints (that I now know but couldn't spot at the time) and I did nothing..
Idiot. The one that got away.
Live life with no regrets. Speak your mind.
100 miles is fine, just means you can still have your life and she can have hers as you can avoid instantly spending every living moment away from work together that some folk seem to do as soon as they get a new partner. Sure it will all work out.
Just crack on with it. In person though... don't do it over text** with the lads after an all day whisky festival followed by a beer festival or she won't speak to you for a month.
In fact inspired by your post OP, i'd better sort that out today.
**"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it. I want to be on you."
"but I would never risk a good friendship with a girl"
I did. We've been married 4 years and have a baby daughter.
Go for it fella!
"but I would never risk a good friendship with a girl"
Isn't this the ideal? i.e. YOU ACTUALLY GET ON WITH THE OTHER PERSON - so it'd make a great match?
Come on OP. Or should you go out with someone who you like screwing but can't stand to be near so ride all the time?
Idiot. The one that got away.Live life with no regrets. Speak your mind.
Keep this quote from hora in your mind...
Your alternative is not say a thing, and then everytime you meet her you're stomach will go funny and you'll head home frustrated and jealous of her next boyfriend.
In years to come when you're old and grey you'll think to yourself how you're glad you never did anything about the girl that got away.
You never know, you might meet someone who compares, but who wants to settle for second best?
have to agree with mc hamish, i new i could never settle with anyone else until i had at least tried with mrs k, and she felt the same strangly. it could have not worked but so far it is
As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.
That is seriously depressing.
Should we point you at your thread of disastrous dates? 🙂
😆
Well as somebody who has recently been in a situation very similar I think you should just go for it, it might work out and if not there's probably no harm done to the friendship if it's that good anyway. In my situation she says she's not sure if she wants a relationship again yet but that doesn't stop you from having fun together 😛
You never know, you might meet someone who compares, but who wants to settle for second best?
There's hundreds of people out there that are perfect for you. I've been out with plenty of women who were right but at the wrong time and place.
That is seriously depressing.
That's why I always laugh when girls say "He's just a sweet friend".
if you're sexy, there's no such thing as the friendzone... just the 'women that want me but can't have me zone'. are you sexy?
if you are sexy, go for it.
if not (if you're about to answer 'not' then you need to work on your confidence as confidence is sexy) then date her friends and have them boast about your gigantic penis and expertise in bed until she wants you for herself.
every bloke i know stuck in a friendzone wouldn't be there if it wasn't for low levels of confidence with wimmin... unfortunately the process of breaking that low confidence usually ends up with them being a bit of an idiot and becoming a man-whore for a while which often turns the women they were originally after off them.
Years and years back I was in a similar situation and went for it. She got a bit freaked out about the whole thing and started acting like a bitch. What I learnt was bloody hell I had a close shave as god knows what she would have been like in the future and secondly I should have got on with it years earlier to save all the hassle and wasted energy/emotion.
At the end of the day if she is a decent person / friend then it won't have any effect on your friendship what ever her answer.
Why wait til next week? Phone her now 🙂
fortune favours the brave.
After 13 years of her having other boyfriends you still want in?
I have nothing useful to say.
[i]After 13 years of her having other boyfriends you still want in[/i]
The door of experience swings both ways 😉 Why can't a woman have experience ?, when it will help her find the Man she wants ?.
[img] 
[/img]
After 13 years of her having other boyfriends you still want in
Hurry up OP!..
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?f=23&t=1222565&nmt=RE%3A+Clocking+loophole+closing
I think he should wait, organise a get together then post live updates on proceedings.... err... not all proceedings if things go well
You could start my asking if you could be **** buddies and depending on her response progress (or not) from there). 😆
After 13 years of her having other boyfriends you still want in
Whyever not?
The hell with virgins, bring me a slut.
"How bad an idea would it be if I was to kiss you just now? Because I've wanted to for ages, but I really don't want to mess up our friendship, so I thought I should check first..."
I've used this line 3 times- twice it would have messed up our friendship, the other time i didn't get to finish it before we were taking each other's clothes off 😆 But I think you have to be a certain sort of awkward disaster to pull it off without it being cheesy.
After 13 years of her having other boyfriends you still want in?
Well seeing she was 12 when I met her she has had 4 long term boyfriends. Two of which she didn't sleep with.
Well seeing she was 12 when I met her she has had 4 long term boyfriends.
Multiply that by 10 for the number of partners. 😀
Two of which she didn't sleep with.
Were any of those two recent, as in after she was 18? 
If so, stay well clear.
Lol, the first or the last didn't get any. Though her current ex didn't get any because he believed in no sex before marriage. Much to her frustration.
Though her current ex didn't get any because he believed in no sex before marriage. Much to her frustration.
how long did she put up with that nonsense ?
I'm 27, she is 25, I've been friends with her for 13 years. We are close, i.e. she tells me stuff that she doesn't tell anybody else (but she doesn't tell me everything).
In her head, you're gay. Even if you're not, you are.
Nothing to see here folks, move along.
Was she at uni?
20 she didnt tell you about.
Like a true stalker have you checked the trains aren't running?
[url= http://m.nationalrail.co.uk/pj/pj ]National Rail Journey Planner[/url]
You're giving her another week.to find a new beau. How much will you kick yourself if you miss this chance?
Hora, she in her 6th year of uni..... 2 left.
Druidh, I know, this is running through my mind.... But I want to do it in person, and she doesn't know the urgency that I need to talk to her.....
Druidh, I know, this is running through my mind.... But I want to do it in person, and she doesn't know the urgency that I need to talk to her.....
surely if she only has had four 'bfs' in all that time, a week aint going to matter .... i'd be more concerned about the lack of .....experience....
Just tell her how you feel.
Best to have had the chance to see if she feels the same, rather than spending the rest of your life wondering 'what if'.
It might ruin your friendship, or it could be the best thing you ever did, but if you dont ask you'll never know 😀
Surely if you're good friends you can talk about it like adults, no?
All you've got to say is "you do realise this is the first time I've been out with you and we've both been single" and then let her take it from there
+1
That and make her laugh. Just so long as she's laughing with you and not at you of course. All else fails, man up and tell her how you feel. Bit of sincere flattery can go a long way. At the end of the day, now is your chance. The only regrets in life you'll end up worrying about are the ones where you regret [u]not[/u] taking the chance. Better to know either way. I had a similar-ish situ where I fell in love with a girl who I had seen briefly and had dumped me some years previously for being a ****t, but we had since become good mates. It was really cutting me up. Finally confessed all. She wasn't interested, but as soon as she told me the angst was over and I could move on with my life.
Finally, I think it was Rudolph Valentino who, when asked how he had managed to sleep with so many women, replied "I just asked them". Be bold, be brave and hopefully you'll be bedded...
Two schools of thought
1. Dinner - it's like a job interview, you've just put a table and a task between you to start with. A good date has hand holding or hugging especially in this instance. The restaurant has "messed up you booking", you need to come up with something more creative, a short walk away on a brisk moonlit night.
2. Suggest a threesome, then back it off a notch.
In her head, you're gay. Even if you're not, you are.
This.
Walk away. Find yourself someone else my friend. Too much history with this one. There will be plenty of other partners she hasnt told you about. Your dream ending is about to become a rude awakening. Sorry, but real life isnt a rom-com mate.
If you must go through with this, at least be prepared.
Walk away. Find yourself someone else my friend. Too much history with this one. There will be plenty of other partners she hasnt told you about. Your dream ending is about to become a rude awakening. Sorry, but real life isnt a rom-com mate.
Funny how people can make statements like this as if they were fact, based purely on nothing but their own assumptions and preconceptions. 🙄
The same goes for a number of other people here as well. Somehow, I really think the OP knows this young lady better than all of you, and, based on that make his own mind up.
From the number of people who believe that the possibility the lady may have had a number of sexual partners is an issue, I assume there are a lot of virgins or religious nuts on this forum.
Funny how people can make statements like this as if they were fact, based purely on nothing but their own assumptions and preconceptions.
That's what we're here for!
[quote=crankboy ]From the number of people who believe that the possibility the lady may have had a number of sexual partners is an issue, I assume there are a lot of virgins or religious nuts on this forum.
Exactly what I was thinking. I wasn't aware picking a partner was like looking for a car and more than a couple of previous owners spelled alarm bells. I hope the blokes saying that this would be a problem for them are all following their own advice and have had a lifetime of keeping it in their pants.
crankboy and atlaz + loads.Why would you worry,other than about STDs?
I'm not sure as I got bored during sex education in school but I thing STD's are passed when you have unprotected sex with an infected partner . So the number of partners is not the issue.
crankboy, you are right ....to a point, herpes for instance,flares up intermittently, yet the carrier will not always know when they are 'glowing'--also lead-in time for some STDs is a few months.....but if she has only had four 'partners'--and only two have been 'permitted'-- its unlikely he has much to worry on that score....
I was always taught one partner was enough to get an STD and actually, unless you're going out with a virgin, it's irrelevant how many people they've slept with really, just whether they care enough to be tested after partners. Surely these days, everyone gets tested from time to time?
So the number of partners is not the issue.
Unless you have a winkle like a pencil.
Surely these days, everyone gets tested from time to time?
err no, that is big part of the problem,most only come forward after catching something,and infecting others (usually inadvertantly)-- but once they are 'cured' carry on regardless....education is the key really,and a sense of responsibility.
Just ask
I've learnt one thing in the last few days and that is to seize every chance you get to do something you want. Skip work today and go and find her, tell her how you feel, don't wait another week for a date, just go and do it.
It won't matter a toss if it's awkward just tell her how you feel.
Can I just congratulate the STW Massive on evolving a post about someone telling someone they love how they truly feel, to her inevitably giving him Bad AIDS!. It took 4 pages, but we got there 😆
No one has suggested showing her this thread yet. Standards are slipping
My god, why do so many of you assume she must think he is gay? An interesting but sad insight into the minds of men.
binners - well I think the other fork in the road was a prolonged discussion about the promiscuity of any woman who has slept with more than one man and particularly this young lady. I think the STD discussion was positively civilised and reasonable by comparison 🙂
Can I just congratulate the STW Massive on evolving a post about someone telling someone they love how they truly feel, to her inevitably giving him Bad AIDS!. It took 4 pages, but we got there
I blame the nazis.
Don't recall the OP asking for estimates of how many sexual partners some of you believe his friend has had. Probably doesn't matter to him anyway as he already seems relaxed about her relationships and the fact that shock horror she has had four long-term relationships that have and may have not included sex. Why do some of you think this is relevant or helpful?
OP only a couple of things matter in my mind. Explore the option with her - if you don't you will never know and always wonder. If she is a true friend either way this won't matter - you will either be in a relationship with your best friend or still friends. If she cannot maintain a friendship after you discuss this then you were not such good friends as you thought.
Best of luck and remember this is not the end if the world if it doesn't work out and a dream come true if it does!
J
I blame the nazis.
Thatcher, surely? 😉
"Bad AIDS"? WTF? Is there such a thing as 'good' AIDS?
jamj1974: Bad AIDS is a Chris Morris / Brass Eye reference
I know... I was un-characteristically joking! Almost as good as 'cake' and "Shatner's Bassoon"!
The Edinburgh Defence?
No one has suggested showing her this thread yet. Standards are slipping
It's worse than that. I don't think anybody has asked for pictures.
My god, why do so many of you assume she must think he is gay? An interesting but sad insight into the minds of men.
You're taking us too literally.
He's not gay and she [i]knows[/i] he's not gay.
But in her head she has him in the same pigeon hole as the gay guys, ie "men I can tell stuff to because there's never going to be any action there".
Anyway there are no certainties. OP, go prove us wrong. Me I'd just give her a snog and see what happens. You'll know soon enough if you're on.
Any news?
[img] 
[/img]
Hora that's not very nice
Edit
[img] 
[/img]
That hand..
Lols at Hora
I have a friend who fancied a chap. Somehow she thought he was gay so they just became friends.
A year or so later, he mentioned a girlfriend who had recently finished with him, so said the correct soothing words, while thinking wow! I'm going to make a play for him.
Luckily there was a good outcome and they are very. very happily married (or so she says) 😉
[i]or so she says[/i]
😆
Come on OP,keep up,did she say yes?,and if so,what to?
Hora, that's inspired 😆
I have a friend who fancied a chap. Somehow she thought he was gay so they just became friends.
I thought this when i first met nbt as well 😉
Aye mincing down those trails 🙂
🙂
c'mon, what's happened?