[Closed] Help! My fish is sick!

I think stiff poo is a correct diagnosis. It might feel better once rid. Does your fish partake in full fat Friday?

Is it failing to deliver?

How do I get rid of its stiff poo?! I tried catching it with a fingernail and got a bit off but it was surprisingly tough. And I added some Epsom salt to a bowl I put it in, but maybe that’s hokum, and how much salt to use anyway? Should I just kill it and put it out of its misery? Heck. I knew there was a reason I didn’t do pets.

Drac! This is no time for jokes! I’ve been standing with a fish in a tea strainer isolation unit for an hour! There is a tearful child! I can’t drink wine and give a fish an enema!

Poor bugger looks constipated...

Give the fish some wine? (I’d let nature run it’s course and check for poo ejecta once the tearful child is fast asleep) it might be a floater!

Poor bugger looks constipated

Picolax?

It's not answering your questions but giving interviews elsewhere?

qwerty, can you use your magic finger on any creature ?

You lot are no use. Except as entertainment while I watch it  die.

I’m making mushy peas for a fish at 10.40 on a Friday night. This is what journalism does to people.

I can’t drink wine and give a fish an enema!

Well there's next issue's tag line.

When my brother kept fish one took ill my gran suggested a tiny touch of whisky in the water. It worked but not sure it's much use as laxative.

At least you won’t need much batter.

I don’t think it likes mushy peas.

Have you tried cheesy peas?

At least you won’t need much batter.

Brilliant 😀

EDIT - I mean that's terrible. You insensitive clod. 🙂

It's a 'thing'

https://petcentral.chewy.com/aquarium-fish-constipation/

It’s a ‘thing’

It's an ofishal diagnosis then.

Still at least you know iris isn't responsible for any squid marks.

Is it failing to deliver?

Well its a constipated fish in a tea strainer, so it's certainly full of shit and out of its depth.

It’s had an Epsom salt bath, been offered mushed peas, and returned to the tank, where it promptly sank. I’m going to drink wine and deal with whatever awaits in the morning. I hope it floats if it dies, it’s a right pain in the arse getting to the bottom of the tank.

Well its a constipated fish in a tea strainer, so it’s certainly full of shit and out of its depth.

Maybe it's fighting to being taken ashore.

it’s a right pain in the arse

The fish agrees.

it's surely only a matter of time before we see the preorder availability of the new sick! stiffpoofish

If only my children were old enough to appreciate this thread. I fear tomorrow may be spent designing a tombstone for the fish.

stwhannah

Subscriber

returned to the tank, where it promptly sank.

I'm no vet but, i think they're supposed to do that.

it’s a right pain in the arse getting to the bottom of the tank

But easier that getting to the bottom of the Sick! debacle?

I hope it floats if it dies

If it clears out before you may have a couple of floaters to deal with

I hope Iris is OK 🤒

Iris is a dead fish. Let the mourning commence.

Iris is now an Angel fish and is with Cod 😕

Rest in peas.

I'm just going to dab the tears away...

gone to a better plaice

Kid2 just asked me if I’m crying. I had to confess to laughing.

RIP Iris...

/Fin

First it was arsegina chook, now this. <Shakes fist at God>

I hope you're planning a suitably dignified funeral.

Tea strainer isolation, epsom salts, mushy peas. I hope there are no fiscious rumours of ill treatment.

Imagine dying of constipation.. urgh.

Imagine dying of constipation.. urgh.

Yep, it'd be a shit way to go 💩

So being sick was as bad as it sounded then.

aww, poor Iris 🙁

Codolonces to your kids

Imagine dying of constipation.. urgh.

@funk no that's a southern king fish.