[Closed] Help me write my Out of Office notice

Nice, tells the customer what they need to hear whilst also getting the humblebrag in early.

8/10

Put a return date in and make sure you keep refreshing it. When I’ve been away for 2+ weeks people forget they got an OOO from me 10 days ago and start to lose their shit as I haven’t replied to their second  email

I’m on holiday I will periodically check my emails.

Done.

‘I am kinda on holiday and in a different time zone but still working really

You're welcome.

”I’m currently on leave but will continue to respond to emails. Please accept my apologies that response may take slightly longer than usual during this time. I will be back in the office xx/xx/xx” or something along those lines

saying you’re with family in Australia is of no interest to your clients

I am currently working away from my UK office. Due to time differences, it may take longer than usual to respond, but I will endeavour to do so as promptly as possible. If your enquiry is urgent, contact etc...

ʎllɐǝɹ ƃuᴉʞɹoʍ llᴉʇs ʇnq ǝuoz ǝɯᴉʇ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟᴉp ɐ uᴉ puɐ ʎɐpᴉloɥ uo ɐpuᴉʞ ɯɐ I

Sorry, forgot you were going to Australia!

Something like this?

I'm toatally out surfing bra, I'll get to your email, like, when I get to it. 

Peace. 

LOLs (as usual) at PP 🙂

But thank you for feedback so far - some great edit suggestions.

"I've just opened a tinny, the beach is looking mighty inviting, got some shnuks on the barbie, the kids are in the pool and the wife is doing the ironing. Doubt I'll be in touch for a while, if it's important please call a Doctor"

HTHs

"I'm currently battling all manner of dangerous insects and reptiles, many of which have the capacity to kill me.  If it takes me longer than a week to reply, please assume I've been bitten on the bum by a black widow spider

Best wishes XXXX"

An example of the type of thing a colleague sends...

Hello. I am not out of the office, which means if you phone me I'll be able to answer my phone immediately. Also, what a cracking day it is here in London. A leetle bit chilly but nothing to be disappointed about.

It just seems like such a great day at the start of a week with so much potential. Anyway, you know where to find me. Give me a call. You know I'm still going on about how I managed to work remotely last month in New Zealand, Australia, UK, Ireland and the USA - all because of (manufacturer) and their (product) suite of products. If you want to know how that's working for me, then drop me a  note. I'm always happy to talk about awesome work-life balance!

I'm in Aus so probably sleeping right now, if I'm not I'll be drinking beer, eating bbq and sunbathing. The world won't end because I'm here. My minions are perfectly capable of dealing with things in my absence. The things which really really need me and only me are sufficiently strategic they can wait until i get home.

Its 40degrees here, what's the weather like there?

Johndoh

+1 for legends edit

I’m spending  a year dead for tax reasons. Please contact my accountant 🙂

Delegate, provide an alternate contact.  Provide only the basic information required, they don't need your life story.

"I am currently working out of the office with limited access to email.  I will endeavour to respond to emails as soon as possible but if your query is urgent please contact other.person@yourcompany.com."

I’m spending  a year dead for tax reasons.

You're Hotblack Desiato?

I am currently working away from my UK office. Due to time differences, it may take a little longer than usual to respond but I will endeavour to do so as promptly as possible. If you wish to speak to me directly, I can be contacted via pre-arranged Google Hangout calls on xxxxxxxxx.

If your matter is urgent, please call the office on (0113) xxx xxxx. I will be back working in the office as usual on 16 April 2018.

Mine says I am out of office until XXX contact XYZ line manager if it is urgent other wise it will be dealt with when I return.

But I'm not a business owner nor am I going to Australia to see my family so this may not be relevent

You are a business owner and not capable of writing your own out of office reply?

That's the thing – I am the only person able to do some aspects of my job (we recently lost a member of the team and we haven't managed to recruit in their role again which is a faff for me) and we have ongoing work so I am just keen that clients aren't going to think I will do nothing for a month and their project won't be progressed as expected.

You are a business owner and not capable of writing your own out of office reply?

to be fair, he didn’t say it was a successful business 😉

You are a business owner and not capable of writing your own out of office reply?

Possibly, but some people on here like to be helpful. Others aren't. I like the helpful ones.

+1 for the people saying there's no reason to say you're in Oz visiting family, totally irrelevant.

Legend's is best.

Hi

As you're no doubt already aware, at the best of times I have little enough interest in your petty whining and unreasonable requests, but I'm presently on holiday so even this minuscule commitment to your needs, such as they are, has been severely curtailed. In fact the only reason you're likely to get a reply is if I'm drunk and in need of screaming desperately into the void over the internet. So... actually... highly likely.

Speak soon

Hugs xxx

If you will be regularly checking / responding to your emails, why even put an out of office ? - I only do when I wont' be checking / responding.

Oh- and don't underestimate the comedy value of talking a phone call at say 21.00 in Aus time / 9.00 UK time  when you've been drinking all afternoon. - It kinda reminded me of when you used to arrive home on a friday night as a yoof and 'try' and convince your parents you weren't completely hammered.

I think it needs more "you bastard" and "boomshanka" an possibly a touch of"  gimmie more money " and we should be about ready to turn it on.

If I was contacting you I would like to know what the time difference is, so that i could have a rough idea of when you would be able to return my email. Ie, say that I'm in Australia! Otherwise, your last edit is great 🙂

Love binners suggestion, I’m going to copy that, and possibly use it for my answerphone message.

The perverse side of my nature takes great delight in things like that.

🤪

Alright troops, I'm oan ma holibags. Round yeez!

I am currently serving a short custodial sentence but telling everyone else I'm in Australia, I'll check my email when we're locked down at night and I can access my dog.

Peace out

I am the only person able to do some aspects of my job

...

I am just keen that clients aren’t going to think I will do nothing for a month and their project won’t be progressed as expected.

Do your clients know that you're a single point of failure in the business?  If not then who cares, they're not going to think that.  (And if they do know then I'd be surprised if they're not already nervous.)

Hi I'm out of the office until ** Mar 18, with limited email access, but will respond to you as soon as I can.

My cousin runs a business and is the first/only point of contact for certain issues. He recently went to Australia for 3 weeks while trying to do exactly what you're doing in remaining contactable despite the time difference

He came back and promptly announced he was restructuring the business so that no-one ever found themselves in this horrendous situation ever again. He also then announced he was retiring.

It was that bad!

I'd love to tell you that I'm joking.

I'm not

Anyway.... have fun!

You’re Hotblack Desiato?

I knew someone would get it. Part of that great chapter which included ‘How many escape pods are there? Zero. Really, how many times have you counted them? Twice'

Anyway as you were 😉

trail_rat - that only works with the bank manager.

Telling anyone and everyone you are in Australia is generally regarded as a big no no from a security perspective.

Explaining that Australia is in a different timezone could be seen as a little patronising.

Also, where you are is irrelevant. You are out of the office, that is all that matters.

I don't know what you should put, but don't write 'I am on leave until xx/xx/xx.  If your enquiry is urgent then good luck with that', as you may be instructed to come back in to the office on the first day of your leave to change it.

I wouldn’t be telling people your out of the country for 4 weeks, not that difficult these days to find out where someone lives.

Just say along the lines of.

”I am currently working away from the office with limited access to email, I will contact you back ASAP”

Help, I am being held by Russian agents and endlessly tweeting in support of Trumpxit against my will

Back around the end of the month.

Johndoh.

x

Dear Sir or Madam,

My minions are either utterly incapable in my absence or I have trust issues, not really sure which. Therefore, I shall make myself immediately available to you any time you think I am required. Clearly I'm the one that can possibly help you with your problems, even as I holiday, on the other side of the planet, in Australia, which is in an other timezone, you know, where the kangaroos be, and where the great show Neighbours is filmed. In fact I'll probably on Ramsay street when I receive your email.

Gen up, my staff are completely useless, they won't be able to help you, with anything. Please contact me immediately.

Yours Faithfully,

Master of the Minions, panderer to your every whim.

"Gone Walkabout"

I am presently on annual leave. I will be checking emails periodically but if your enquiry  is urgent please contact Hugh.Jass @ internet address dot com or I P Friely on 01234 567890 in the first instance.

Then have the following....

Autoforwarding rules for anything likely to trigger a mare while you are away. Key words, key difficult clients that send that stuff to Hugh and IP. Then brief them on what to do with certain issues.

Give "Hugh" a disposable/personal Gmail address or what's app at which he can send you an urgent request to call/check xyz email. Make sure they know not to send sensitive commercial data to that address.

Obviously use real colleagues and not Bart Simpson prank call names.

I never say I'm abroad on external OoO as it's a bit of a security risk (although admittedly it's unlikely a potential burglar is going to email me to check). I generally use:

I'm currently on leave (returning on aa/bb/cccc) with limited access to emails, if you require a more urgent response please contact my colleague XYZ on 123

"I'm currently down under, but there's no men at work here"

Is this thread available for hijack yet? If so..... I'm about to take 3 months Shared Parental Leave, think I need to up my out of office game for this one!

What bike do you ride ?