[Closed] Help me escape the south

Shirley Oxford has it's wuff aweas?

Yeah but I mean....they have shitty southern accents....at least sweary Northerners do it in an amusing accent. I think I can handle that...... Northeners are a better class of sweary....here they are either gollum impersonators or David Cameron knock offs. I could just be a deluded midlander though.

Sheffield?

You need cockney sweary, move south. I mean, who the **** wants to live in a northern sh**hole.

Glasgow, at the least you'll need an interpreter 😉

Yeah if you want fluent sweariness

Its got to be glasgow nothing else will cut it.

If it's accents you're after, you need places beginning with B.
Bacup, Blackburn, Barnsley, Bedlington et al.

I wouldn't bother half the places are just full of people telling each other how common they are.

Take your pick.

I wouldn't bother half the places are just full of people telling each other how common they are.

That and moaning about the rain and stealing anything that isn't nailed down as they are so poor.

Which pub were you in? If it's one of the popular ones in the centre, there won't be anyone from Oxford in them at this time of year, they're full of summer school wannabes and American girls desperate to bag a Hugh Grant/Colin Firth-a-like...

mikewsmith - Member
I wouldn't bother half the places are just full of people telling each other how common they are.

He needs to go to Oz, doesn't he? 🙂

nah think the whinger needs to stay put 😉

Sounds like the OP needs to relocate to Sunderland to me.

That should open his eyes a bit 😉

Most people on here think the midlands is North. Where as north to me living in Durham is Ashington.

Woman from Ashington walks into local hairdresser and asks "can I have a perm please." Hairdresser replies " certainly I wondered lonely as a clood"

lol Inbred456, guy I worked with did a stint up that way, some people asked if they were going out that night (mid week bit random) asked why, as it was explained it was norses night... cue much southern confusion till somebody explained that the norses were from the hospital and it was their payday piss up.

(from Alnwick so not much more north before Scotland)

Originally from Sunderland, now live half way between Barnsley and Sheffield, presently contemplating a move to Warwick. Very informative thread. 😆

Which pub were you in? If it's one of the popular ones in the centre, there won't be anyone from Oxford in them at this time of year, they're full of summer school wannabes and American girls desperate to bag a Hugh Grant/Colin Firth-a-like...

Anyone up for a night out in Oxford 😀

Where we live, its surrounded by southerners,all escapees. Cheltenham lady at the back,London couple next to her and Suffolk family next door. All lovely people who like the quieter life.
Cheshire is full of hooray Henry's, that's no good then.

South Wales Valleys?

I'm a born and bred Midlander (Sutton in Ashfield, Notts) who's lived in the south for about 25 years.
A couple of years back I was doing a job that involved training 'sweary types' in quarries and concrete plants on the rollout of a new computer system
There was a very makes difference in attitudes of the trainees around the county. The West Country lads moaned a bit and struggled with the new system, the Londoners didn't give a shit as long as it didn't stop them working (very busy in London) the Welsh were more concerned with taking the piss out of everything, but the further north I went the bigger the chips were on their shoulders, in general. They didn't want to do anything like work or learning or changing and were some of the most miserable arseholes I've ever met.

I wouldn't move back north if you paid me......

ut the further north I went the bigger the chips were on their shoulders, in general. They didn't want to do anything like work or learning or changing and were some of the most miserable arseholes I've ever met.

I wouldn't move back north if you paid me......

Any ****ing where up here is better than any ****ing where down there. Apart from Cheshire, which might as well be ****ing Chelsea. ****s. 😆

I could've typed all that avoiding the ****ing swear filter but I think I might have been ****ing banned...

Which pub were you in? If it's one of the popular ones in the centre, there won't be anyone from Oxford in them at this time of year,

Not true, the postgrads are there all year round, and the overheard chappie sounds like a postgrad.

Whilst matey-boy sounds pretentious and annoying, I find people who listen into others conversations to be the rudest of all!

Hull? I hear it's got a lot going for it.

I couldn't avoid hearing him, it was obnoxiously clear over the music! 😀 I think he shouted every time he mentioned MIT.

I'm a born and bred Midlander (Sutton in Ashfield, Notts) who's lived in the south for about 25 years.
A couple of years back I was doing a job that involved training 'sweary types' in quarries and concrete plants on the rollout of a new computer system
There was a very makes difference in attitudes of the trainees around the county. The West Country lads moaned a bit and struggled with the new system, the Londoners didn't give a shit as long as it didn't stop them working (very busy in London) the Welsh were more concerned with taking the piss out of everything, but the further north I went the bigger the chips were on their shoulders, in general. They didn't want to do anything like work or learning or changing and were some of the most miserable arseholes I've ever met.

I wouldn't move back north if you paid me......

Good !

Born in Brizzle, grew up in Devon and lived all around there, plus Bristol/FoD area in mid twenties, finally moving to West Yorks in 2008.

Much happier with the people here (and the Lancs bunch). Less whiny and more transparent than the folk I grew up knowing, and working with. Hell of a lot funnier too.

Weather's shit out of July-Sept though and the coasts here are a joke.

Cheap houses though and the nice villages are just nice, without being some kind of ****ty-twee to appeal to tourists. North Yorks is just amazing and I'd move there in a heartbeat if it wouldn't make work a commute just too far.

Sorry what was the question?

North Yorks is just amazing

Yeah i know. (Boroughbridge)

Just far enough south for me, I could easily move back to Durham.

Sitting in an Oxford pub with my missus tonight, there's some postdoc quantum physics guy behind me....etonian accent....repeatedly explaining to this woman he was trying to impress how he worked 90 hour weeks at MIT and how he has sacrificed money/publishing ability by pursuing an unfashionable subject area.....repeatedly......clearly boring the shit out of this bird......I was eating my fist by the end of it... only having a lowly Biology degree that I kind of drank my way through.

Oxfords full of **** isn't it?

So which Northern town should I move to? I need moar sweary people.

You sound a bit bitter ...
Perhaps he has done all that - it is quite possible ..

Now, what have you done?

Come out west, look to bedminster or knowle west. I reckon they have the highest c**t/sentence quota anywhere in the world.

What exactly is an "Etonian accent" by the way?

By way of illustrating, I know a Frenchman who's an Old Etonian. He has a French accent when speaking English, and a slightly Toulousain twang when speaking French. Is that what you meant? Or are you just being pointlessly chippy?

Oxford isn't in the South, it's in the Midlands.

HTH

[i]Sheffield[/i]

South (of me) 🙂

bedminster

I worked out of Bedminster for a short while - aside from getting hooked on sausage rolls made from mechanically-separated meat (I was young and stupid), I struggle to think of an equivalent hell-hole.

The thing that sticks out in my mind about that place is the day that on a lunch break (probably buying sausage rolls), I spotted a lad break away from his mother unnoticed and run straight into the road. I (heroically, natch) ran and grabbed him from in front of the braking bus (was never going to hit him but it was a scary sight) and returned him to his Mum, who was now aware of what had happened, saying something like "I think this chap is yours".

"Get your hands of my fing kid".

A bit stunned, I told the story to a lady at the office I was at there, afterwards.

"What do you want, a fing medal?"

I moved on shortly afterwards. Great sausage rolls though - 3 for £1 at the time.

bikebouy - Member

Oxford isn't in the South, it's in the Midlands.

Correct, I think they get "Midlands Today" on the news 😀

Everywhere else - below me.
🙂

Although it might seem as if the OP's plentiful chips will equip him admirably for life in the north, I reckon he'll be too weighed down by them to make the journey.

Welsh were more concerned with taking the piss out of everything

Lol, glad it's not just me that's noticed this 🙂

Did you get to the proper north or just Yorkshire?

Carlisle was as far north as I got in the west, Middlesbrough in the east. The Mancs were the worst to be honest.

I find southerners a lot more tolerant in general. Further north there's a distinct small town attitude. Don't dare to look or act a bit different....

gollum impersonators

Blackbird Leys estate plenty of swearing and everything else you can think of there.

suburbanreuben - Member
Shirley Oxford has it's wuff aweas?

We met up with some of the wife's American relatives in Oxford a couple of years ago and they were going on about the huge differences in wealth they'd seen and kept going on about the shanty towns* just outside the city being such a culture shock.

*They were allotments 😀

Oxford isn't in the South, it's in the Midlands.

HTH

Get out.

I get told I have a Northern accent by southerners and get befriended by yorkshire bus drivers because "they don't use 'town centre' round 'ere boy, they're different to us" - I am from ****ing Rutland! Hardly North. Calling Oxford the midlands is an insult to decent midlanders everywhere.

We met up with some of the wife's American relatives in Oxford a couple of years ago and they were going on about the huge differences in wealth they'd seen and kept going on about the shanty towns* just outside the city being such a culture shock.

*They were allotments

Brilliant! 😀

Although it might seem as if the OP's plentiful chips will equip him admirably for life in the north, I reckon he'll be too weighed down by them to make the journey.

You sir, bore me.

PeterPoddy - Member
Did you get to the proper north or just Yorkshire?
Carlisle was as far north as I got in the west, Middlesbrough in the east. The Mancs were the worst to be honest.

Ah the Mancs, the only North Manchester is in is the North Midlands 😉

I love it in the south. Easy access to civilisation via the channel tunnel and Gatwick, lovely countryside, very few of those silly accents you get in the north parts (Lancashire especially, plus Birmingham), generally more cosmopolitan outlook on things and not that many chips on shoulders. Decent amount of jobs. Admittedly it's a bit congested - probably because it's so good everyone wants to live here.

It's quicker and cheaper to go to France for a night than it is to go the same distance north from here. (Once we implement my plan to hack Cornwall off at the Tamar and tow it round to the channel to make a land bridge it will be even easier. This will achieve three things - easier travel to civilisation, it will piss off all the 'Independance for Kernow' idiots and it will piss of the Daily Hate readers by linking Britain with the continent. Fantastic! After that we will rebuild Hadrian's wall (just north of the M4) and Offa's Dyke just in case)

I read somewhere that the Romans found southerners more civilised because of their contact with the continent. Yet another thing they were right about.

As and when we move out of the south I should like it to be even further south - Picardy for preference!

Easy access to civilisation via the channel tunnel

We had a ride round Kielder yesterday, you're right, the North is awful, you should stay dahn saaaaahf, innit blud.

Temporary glitch, Mike.

Can't be bothered to find pictures of all the riots there have been in Britain...

Yeah I think most of the recent ones have been down south 😉 The French do seem to have a flair for the dramatic with this sort of thing.

JulianA - Member
...Fantastic! After that we will rebuild Hadrian's wall (just north of the M4) and Offa's Dyke just in case)

I read somewhere that the Romans found southerners more civilised because of their contact with the continent. Yet another thing they were right about.

I thought the Romans built Hadrian's Wall to keep the barbarians in the south. 🙂

Isn't it non PC to mention the Awful Dykes in Wales? I can understand why a chap may have misgivings about that lot but I'm sure there's plenty nice ones.

One well-written explanation for sweariness:
http://www.cambridge.org/gb/academic/subjects/sociology/sociology-general-interest/phenomenology-working-class-experience

Easy access to civilisation via the channel tunnel

Got to applaud their attitude towards big banks and fast food outlets like McDonalds, over here a riot is an excuse for the local intelligentsia to steal huge chav TV's and 'sportswear' that will nether see a track/field/court.

Nuke oxford and cambridge and save the country.

very few of those silly accents you get in the north parts (Lancashire especially

Hey!

Thing is, I'm here because I have devised a devious way to worm my way into a decent masters

From your OP I'm struggling to believe you are well educated.

I'm struggling to believe that you're much fun.

But if you mean polite and from the right school, no. I'm almost entirely self educated as my secondary school mostly included people smoking in class and throwing books at each other instead of reading them, even in the top sets.

The 6th form I went to was halfway decent though. Have a lovely day, MrSmith.

Thanks hun

😛

Now stop taking my posts so seriously.

Yeah if you want fluent sweariness

Its got to be glasgow nothing else will cut it

Nah, that would be Spain. They're great at swearing in Spain, and use more than just f*** with an "ing" tacked onto the end when necessary for grammatical correctness. Bonus: it's in the South.

Really? I found that the Spanish were utterly horrified by teenager me swearing in their language.

Maybe it was just my poor Spanish that offended them.

Really? I found that the Spanish were utterly horrified by teenager me swearing in their language.

Maybe it was just my poor Spanish that offended them.

Probably, the Spanish swear loads. At work, at home, everywhere. Go to a meeting at work, and it'll be "vaya mierda" this, "un puto desastre" that. My wife will happily say "mierda" or "joder" in front of my kids, and her mother says "coño" loads. Etc. You can google the translations, they'll get the **** treatment on STW 🙂

And it's a Spanish thing - the south Americans (Mexicans, Argentines etc) we have here comment on it too.

And it's a Spanish thing - the south Americans (Mexicans, Argentines etc) we have here comment on it too.

Only foreigners I have heard swearing like troopers in English with perfect inflection and fluency were Hungarians.

Bazdmeg!

Oxford in the South??!

I'm pretty sure anything North of the A4 is within the Artic Circle.

mikewsmith - Member
Yeah I think most of the recent ones have been down south The French do seem to have a flair for the dramatic with this sort of thing.

Well of course the new wall will go to the south of London (probably it will follow the course of the M25). I think Hadrian's had his time now - the new wall will be called 'Julian's Wall'. I think that has a nice ring to it.

MrSmith - Member
Easy access to civilisation via the channel tunnel
Got to applaud their attitude towards big banks and fast food outlets like McDonalds, over here a riot is an excuse for the local intelligentsia to steal huge chav TV's and 'sportswear' that will nether see a track/field/court.

As it happens we picked up a lovely new DVD player when the rioting was on!*

Sorry, Cougar - had a very bad time with a Lancastrian with whom I worked. Coloured my judgment rather...

*Purely coincidental timing - naturally we paid for it!

I quite like Oxford most of the time, occasionally you meet the odd knob e.g. last night I was out on date chatting away about my days at MIT and there was this right commoner on the table behind us, sounded like a right chav, chewing his nails whilst drinking, probably only had a BSc from an ex-Poly.

Hopefully he'll move up North where he can be with his own kind.

'm almost entirely self educated as my secondary school mostly included people smoking in class and throwing books at each other instead of reading them, even in the top sets.

[i]I find southerners a lot more tolerant in general. [/i]

You know, I found the complete opposite, having lived not long ago in between Marlow and Oxford, that the folk living round there were some of the least neighbourly, most intolerant people I've ever met TBH.

much happier in the North

Scotland: take us with you!

(I'm Cornish)

gofasterstripes - Member
Scotland: take us with you!

(I'm Cornish)

Stay put for a bit and when my plan comes to fruition you will be linked to civilation! You will thank me in the end.