[Closed] Help! I hate everyone!

Nope society isn't broken. You just ran into some dicks. I had 3 morons on the roads going to a night ride on Friday, my mate by contrast had none.
Just chill out and keep yourself safe that's all any of us can do
I hate to say it though, if you want silence in the cinema you are going to have to go at antisocial times. As that bit def sounded like a moaning old git.

I find myself feeling the same. Every single day there is some element of human selfishness and knobwittery that gets to me.
I think it's partly age, and partly the reality of being a conscious person existing in an often unconscious world.
😐

Probably both tbh.

I’m 53, and certainly less tolerant of ****wits than i used to be.
But even making allowances for that, i think some aspects of society are getting worse.
Some, not all.

Is it my middle age, or is society broken and getting worse by the day?

Yes on all counts. On the bright side, you're not alone in hating your fellow man (and it's not always men, there are some selfish arsehole women & non-binaries out there too).

Welcome to the 'i hate everyone' club. We're a friendly bunch.

Gorrick today, lovely and friendly. Get there instead.

Thanks guys. Already feel a bit better. Have had some lovely conversations with people in the last 24hrs too, including a dog walker I encountered whilst out riding. We chatted for ages!

1. Spend more time volunteering (even two hours a week) and

2. less time on the internet (many hours a week)

Is my advice. Tried and tested.

3. Take own advice (if it’s good advice)

Now it’s the norm to chat about ‘chipping’ and bypassing the rules)

No it's not, you're talking shite.

I suspect you're one of these folk that are looking subconsciously for shit to be annoyed about.

Is that a joke? Can't tell.
Right, eff this. Best advice is to avoid the Internet. It's a significant part of the problem.

I think behaviour is cyclical. Completely anecdotal here but it seems to me that attitudes and behaviours of 'the general public' seem to go in cycles similar to governing parties.

In my recent experience attitudes appear to be going through a very similar phase to the last years of the Thatcher government, going into Major's. Once the Blair government took over people's attitudes changed and got a little more caring, at least superficially.

Now all we've got to hope for is for Johnson to be replaced by a less headstrong leader before the Tories are ousted completely, and then everything will go back to being nice and fluffy again.

Stands back and waits for the flaming 😉

Now it’s the norm to chat about ‘chipping’ and bypassing the rules)

Sometimes, right, and this is the thing, rules don't actually make much practical sense. Not just ebikes or whatever, but rules in general.

No it’s not, you’re talking shite.

I suspect you’re one of these folk that are looking subconsciously for shit to be annoyed about.

while the delivery isn’t great, there is some truth in this.

if you think the world is full of arseholes, you’ll only see the arseholes.

4. There’s always man-cave, whittling, forging, restoring etc (or the more polluting version of 3D-printing), with a LW radio permanently tuned to the shipping forecast.

5. A boat. (With a LW radio)

6. A boat (no radio)

Is that a joke? Can’t tell.

Poor delivery as Jam bo says,was meant to be tongue in cheek 🙄🤣

I stand by the sentiment though.

1. Spend more time volunteering (even two hours a week) and

2. less time on the internet (many hours a week)

Definitely true. It will shift your perspective so you are always expecting to be pissed off.

I had a small sailing yacht in the past. Once away from land my phone lost reception. Bliss!

Yesterday, I. Did. A. Thing! It cheered me up and took my mind of the impending huge bill for non warranty work on my eeb. Today, I did another thing; making a replacement battery pack for my bike lights. This has also cheered me up, how much will depending on it not bursting into flames while I charge it up. I used to do this sort of stuff all the time and it's kind of fallen by the wayside as I've got older and more cynical.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, try doing something that makes you happy.

Roughly half the population are dicks. Just try to avoid the places they congregate as much as you can.

I had a small sailing yacht in the past. Once away from land my phone lost reception. Bliss!

if you think the world is full of arseholes, you’ll only see the arseholes.

+1

There’s also projection. If one actually is (or in process of becoming) an arsehole then there's a good chance of projection taking place.

AKA ‘Never argue with an arsehole because he’ll beat you with yourself’

I think lockdown has increased people's suspicion/fear of others and made people's social interaction skills worse. Also, people are feeling like they've been missing out so are less patient/understanding/more entitled. And yes everyone has been spending too much time on the internet and many people are finding it weird 'reintegrating' into society.

Combine this with climate emergency, dreadful political leadership, decline of treasured institutions like the NHS etc, it's very easy to slip into negative/depressive/misanthropic type thinking.

This is very much my experience anyway.

I came to the conclusion years ago that most people are OK on an individual basis.... As a group they're shit.

GF used to point out to me that I was a total misanthrope for wanting to go and live in a cabin in my own. She's coming round to my thinking.

I don't think humans are designed to live in such large conurbations with high population densities.

Our neolithic, small hunter-gatherer group brains haven't caught up with the idea of living within such close proximity to do many others.

Got to watch the cynicism as one gets older. It’s not an attractive quality. A good dose of psychedelics tends to show it up and get you on the right path again 😉

That’s not to say that you’re wrong. There really are dickheads everywhere. What’s the saying?.. “just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not watching you”. But I think the key is stoicism and learning to not dwell on the bad stuff, just concentrate on your bubble and limit exposure to dickhead-heavy arenas like the roads and the internet.

Don't go to Glentress. I'm there this morning for the first time in a long time hanging out at the main areas. Ebikers and white vans in particular razzing around way too fast for so many kids being about. If it wasn't for bringing my own kid I wouldn't come near the place, and will try and avoid at that. Grrr. People.

You have to laugh at the selfish idiots, you can’t let it get to you. Be nice to them. It might make them think twice in future, or it might just annoy them… either way it’s better for you to avoid the anger. Otherwise you’ll end up the same.

Don’t go to Glentress.

Amen to that. Full of absolute tossers (and some nice folks too but they aren’t the ones that stick in the mind)

Thanks guys. Some genuinely helpful advice there.

How do you get on with people checking their facebook feed mid-film?
Makes me rather cross . They post " Checking in to The Odean , The names Bond " They
then get a flurry of " Is it any good ?" Notifications from lamos who cant read a film reveiw.
This then prompts a pocket vibration alert , which due to instant gratification ( see also E-Bikes ) they HAVE to get the phone out to check.
Outside doing an oil change , guy in a shiney S3 had to use the horn of retribution because teh car in front took 2 seconds longer to turn left in front of him and he had to slow down, a little bit. Its a Sunday morning , its a 30 limit , the road ends in 300mtrs as we are on an island.
Be Kind , Nope F U You are doing something that irritates me and by christ I am going to let you know all about it . Its like everyone seems to hate every one else at the moment . I have been chased for a safe / legit overtake. Followed for refusing to speed with the 'pull over' jesticulations .

Is that a joke? Can’t tell.
Right, eff this. Best advice is to avoid the Internet. It’s a significant part of the problem.

I do that when I’m feeling low - it does seem to help.

When I feel like that it's normally because I forgot to take my sertraline.

I think spending a few moments on what nobeer meant might be worth while.

The ebike think specifically is a good indicator because I haven't seen any posts like that. If you go in to threads that are going to annoy you are consolidating your opinion. Go and read cougars thread in helping cheering up a wee boy. That's worth a thousand smile points compared to a bickering ebike thread.

Surrounding yourself with positive vibes will help. Volunteering genuinely does remind you about the good around you that you may be missing.

To be fair, Glentress had a bawbag monopoly long before ebikes were even thought of!

People have always been arseholes. What's changed is that you get older you realise you don't have to put up with their shit.

Mind you, I'm running on about two hours' sleep right now so I'm nowty and hate the world. Hit me up in a few hours if you want an argument.

People taking about chipping ebikes is a sign that society is broken? Have a word with yourself.

Riders on here posting about their souped up ebikes (two years ago everyone was saying – hey they’re limited to 250w/peddle assist, what’s the problem. Now it’s the norm to chat about ‘chipping’ and bypassing the rules)

That’s got to be on the cycling side of the forum, hasn’t it? I’ve certainly never seen it commented on on this forum, but I haven’t been on the cycling side for eons. Well, at least a decade.
And choose any given item of technology, and often sooner rather than later people will try to hack it to either improve performance or bypass restrictions placed on it. I’m pretty damn sure that early hominids indulged in such behaviour, it’s how things get improved on.
There are e-scooters that can hit nearly 40 mph! People are now racing e-scooters on circuits, people will always, have always seeked to improve on what others have made.
I’m waiting for a mate of a chap over the road to visit him, he does remapping of cars, and I want mine remapped, not so much for horsepower, it’s pretty quick already, but more torque would be nice; a remap will take it from 125 to around 156bhp, and add a significant amount to the torque curve, which should improve fuel consumption. As it’s a compact crossover, it’s not going to be challenging MX-5’s anytime soon! 🤣

but more torque would be nice; a remap will take it from 125 to around 156bhp, and add a significant amount to the torque curve, which should improve fuel consumption.

LOL. It'll mainly poison your fellow citizens more when you drive past. Remapping is plain anti-social.

Remember the old curmudgeons who's door you used to knock on and run away, when you were eight?

That's you, that is.

As generations become older "everything" goes to shit, only last night I was reading the rantings of a Country Squire of the 15thC who was getting wound up by the endless chatter of his daughters, and wondering why his two sons seemed more interested in the length of their shoes, rather than the hunt, and whether that made them effete? (answer: no, one of them went to be a proper shit in the Middle East)

At some point our grandchildren will quietly moan to themselves about the fact the visiting Grandad, he always makes them listen to Firestarter because it's "proper music" in the same way you're Gran likes Vera Lynn...

As for Glentress: trail centres were awful places at the best of times, with the onset of e-bikes they're now just full bore ****-magnets. If ever a place would benefit from an air strike, its Llandegla car park on a Sunday morning. Just go and ride where theres no-one else around. Theres no shortage of places. I was out for a few hours yesterday and barely saw a soul. Which is just as well as I hate everyone too 🙂

If a remap improves fuel consumption, why don't they do it in the factory? Surely it would be a no-brainer. Unless it has some other less desired consequence.

Anyone on here who mentions chipping ebikes gets rightly shouted down quick smart, the vast majority of my riding buddies have an ebike now, and out of mibbe 20ish of them, only 2 or 3 of them tried chipping, quickly realised it was shite as you go up the hill faster, but get less descents, so binned it off.

And it's not really anything like chipping a car, as there's always a petrol station 5 mins along the road.

Plus folk that drive fast are whanks.

51% basically you have a 50/50 chance of encountering someone who is just basically well "thick"

We get by due to the fact that many interactions are brief, benign and transactional.

I reduce the odds by engaging with people less.

Is it my middle age, or is society broken and getting worse by the day?

Both. But mainly the second part.

guy in a shiney S3 had to use the horn of retribution because teh car in front took 2 seconds longer to turn left in front of him and he had to slow down, a little bit. Its a Sunday morning

A few months back the GF and I rode to the workshop and stopped at the bakery. Lovely sunny Sunday morning. Lots of folks say enjoying the weather. The bakery is located at a quiet crossing with lights.

We're outside packing up, two cars waiting at the lights. Some pensioner pulls up behind the other cars and starts hitting his horn.

I look at the driver in front and am equally confused. Look at the honker and ask what the problem is. He hangs out the window and says she should move forward two metres so that he can get into the space.

Told him could wait for the lights.
He mumbled something something Arschloch and I nearly ****ing lost it. His audacity and righteousness irked me, but that tipped it for me. Started towards him with the intention of decking him through his window. Fortunately a stander-by and the GF stopped me.

Self entitled Arschloch.

Cabin. In the woods.

I can't say that people wind me up but I manage to very effectively wind myself up constantly. How the **** can I not know where I put my phone 20 seconds after using it? Or why the **** do I always choose the route which ends up having bumper to bumper gridlock traffic?...... you daft ****.

If a remap improves fuel consumption, why don’t they do it in the factory? Surely it would be a no-brainer. Unless it has some other less desired consequence.

Actually, they do.

A Mercedes Vito 114, 116 and 119 (140HP, 160HP & 190H) are identical engines with different maps from the factory. The 116 has the best official economy figures.
114 is significantly cheaper to buy but with an aftermarket remap can be made faster and more economical.

Sitting in the cinema surrounded by rustling, chomping noise as people gorged on rubbish. It really spoilt the immersive experience of watching Dune.

In all instances apart form this I would say you was just unlucky to meet a few idiots. This though deal with it it's the cinema.

Went for a run as the sun set to make peace with the world. Got bitten by a dog (I promise I'm not making this up), and the owners just watched, saying "sorry, your high vis top must have scared him!"
Later, I had a pleasant chat with an old lady about how lucky we were to live in such a beautiful area.
50/50.
I chose to focus on the nice chat which made me feel much better.
Came frighteningly close to punching a dog in the face though. That would have been awkward 😆

You know you can get phones without internet still. You can turn off your computer/tablet/whatever.

It's funny you're complaining about the internet, on the internet.

I go to GT every few weeks. It's often extremely busy in the car parks and yet I still manage to go for a quiet and pleasant ride where I don't spend the entire time raging about the behaviour of everyone else. I really think that a lot of this stuff says a lot more about those doing the complaining and those they're complaining about.

I know Weeksy. I just have a 1GB contract to try limit my usage. I also have a basic Nokia I could use, but my cycling club of which I'm a major part of the cyclocross training and racing group, uses WhatsApp and Facebook to communicate. Furthermore you have to be on Facebook to get information about races.
It's a necessary evil, and yes I realise the irony of complaining about the Internet on the Internet.
It is actually really nice to occasionally reach out for a bit of help and like today, most people can see that and offer a bit of sympathy and support. Just to be nice, you know?
Unfortunately the 10% who decide to be rude spoil it somewhat.

I spend a lot of time filled with barely-supressed rage caused by the idiotic and damnright selfish behaviour of other people.

Just got back for a weekend away in South Devon with my wife. Every person we encountered (in the hotel, pool, pubs, cafes, walking around, driving) was pleasant, considerate, sensible; basically did nothing to raise my ire.

Christ it was nice. Like a peek into a rarely seen world.

Is it my middle age, or is society broken and getting worse by the day?

I think people have been saying things are getting worse since the Romans left, so either things were utterly magnificent in the past, or it's just one of those Middle Age things. I get this middle aged angst after something has triggered it (someone being a dick at work, or a close pass on the bike), but try to find something to take my mind off it (e.g. a good film). Usually the next bike ride is fine and I feel better. I avoid most social media too, as I don't think it helps me.

Some things are much better than the past. We went to watch Durham Women today against Liverpool - utterly great: everyone was polite and supportive of both sides. The crowd was really diverse and there was no sweary language and there was applause for everything that was good, regardless of who did it.

The worst thing is when you've decided you hate everyone then meet somebody who is nice and then you have to hate them for contradicting your world view. I hate that.

"trail centres were awful places at the best of times"

This.

Can you help me regain some perspective?

Piss off and live in a place with real problems. Try much of Africa or many parts of Asia. Should help your balance and awareness of what is a real problem.

@rollindoughnut can empathise with you, and no I don’t think you are being unreasonable in how you feel. I have to work very hard not to feel similar some days. Whenever life’s a bit much I listen to the Cycling podcast femine with Rose Manley and Orla C. It’s infectious good humour gives you hope. It’s a small thing but it adds up.

I listen to Adam Buxton and Off Menu.
Both completely take me away to their world for the hour.
First listened to Adam Buxton whilst riding the Kennet and Avon canal from Bristol to Reading in one hit on my way back from an adventure in Wales. Had been peddling for 8hrs when I put it on. It's one of my fondest memories.

Piss off and live in a place with real problems.

Modern life affects people in different ways, and expecting someone to lead a perfect life because they live in a privileged country is infantile in the extreme.

There was no need to write something so vicious.

I go to GT every few weeks. It’s often extremely busy in the car parks and yet I still manage to go for a quiet and pleasant ride where I don’t spend the entire time raging about the behaviour of everyone else.

Pretty much this for me too. Except I'm there a little more often.
Carpark rammed then don't really see many people apart from passing the top carpark and at the mast.
Met some really friendly folks while out and about and ended up riding with a few random strangers just because. Some of them were even on Ebikes.
I try not to judge anyone simply by where they are or what bike they're on.

Got bitten by a dog (I promise I’m not making this up), and the owners just watched, saying “sorry, your high vis top must have scared him!”

Kick it into the canal, "sorry, his hi-vis collar scared me."

Piss off and live in a place with real problems.

"Hello, 999, yes, I'm being burgled as we speak."

"Well, other people are being murdered, so piss off."

The existence of greater problems does not invalidate lesser ones.

Balance it out and get all those other ****ers to hate you back.

The existence of greater problems does not invalidate lesser ones.

Maybe, but that's not what the OP asked.

The OP asked :

"Can you help me regain some perspective?"

Eddiebaby's suggestion seems reasonable to me.

What would you suggest?

I actually opened this thread thinking it was the work of Cougar tbh.

Hate to break it to you but it's the UK

Eddiebaby’s suggestion seems reasonable to me.

Moving to Africa to gain perspective on middle aged angst is about as unreasonable as you could probably suggest TBH.

There does seem to be an ever increasing number of people who don't give a damn about anyone other than themselves. They do whatever they want with no care for how their actions impact on those around them. I find myself asking "what is wrong with people" at least twice a day, usually on the school run.

I think the majority of people in the world are nice. We all have an off day or off 5 minutes though. If you are looking for the bad then you will see those off days or off 5mins.

Accept we are all different and try and embrace it rather than judge.

I think I am still the same person now I have an E-bike though not ridden it much yet so maybe I will turn 🙂 I am still tolerant of others on the trail. I don't harass people to get by etc In fact I think if they are pedaling they have the right of way when trying to clean a techy climb.

I was at Cwmcarn yesterday and the car park was rammed, out on the trails though it was really not that busy, lots of E-bikes as you say. Bizarely Afan the day before not rammed and hardly any e-bikes.

I just rode my own ride at both places chilled out enjoying the autumn colours tried to help my friend develop some confidence descending and pretty much everyone I met was nice.

 I find myself asking “what is wrong with people” at least twice a day, usually on the school run.

Before my ironymeter explodes, can I just check if you were in a car?

I find that since being on Sertraline for anxiety I'm way less bothered and stressed out by other people's behavior. I can tell when I've missed doses, as I start to realise how awful people are!

This article is well worth a read OP (or anyone else who gets angry at others a lot).

https://nautil.us/issue/54/the-unspoken/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-jerk-rp

It's much more nuanced than it sounds from the title, and I found it very useful.

BTW nobeer is right, chipping ebikes is generally considered on a par with child molesting on this forum.

Nice article @chakaping 👍

I seriously can’t stand the human race much more.
Is it my middle age, or is society broken and getting worse by the day?

Can you help me regain some perspective?

For balance, you also saw:
The vast majority of drivers driving sensibly and carefully
Most people parking considerately
Most people sitting quietly in the cinema (though rustling sweets has been a thing forever - maybe need to adjust your expectations!)
Most drivers being reasonably considerate to cyclists
Have to admit I haven't seen people on here boosting their eBikes. Suggest that most people are not.
... but you may not have noticed those as humans are conditioned by evolution to see fear, danger and anger rather than 'oh ok, everything's fine'. This is reinforced by the media (when was the last time you saw a headline saying 'life expectancy has increased again' or 'conservation efforts for rhinos, tigers and pandas are going really well'?) and we condition ourselves to seek out the things that we see as a threat.

There's loads of great stuff out there. We need to find better ways of conditioning ourselves to see it.

Long term neoliberal governments have encouraged and facilitated the fragmentation of communities, declining social capital, weakened trades unions, zero hours contracts, government corruption, blame the victim, individualism for the rich, dog eat dog culture for the poor, look after number one, 'human nature' is avaricious, 'they're all the same' defeatism etc. This manifests itself on a national level and on an interpersonal level, people feel threatened and aggressively defensive.
It doesn't have to be like this.

Most of you on this thread will still be young or middle aged, I'm actually an old, small woman with grey hair, who seems to get bullied the moment I'm in a car, on a bike or even walking. The walking bit was when a school run mum drove up onto the pavement in front of me and 2 elderly pedestrians, her child flung open the passenger side door nearly hitting one of us, luckily I'm still young and fit enough to read the situation and leap out of the way if needs be, the other 2 oldies weren't.
But tonight I shall be out volunteering with our local RSPB group. The people there are kind, caring, generous and it gives me hope.

Moving to Africa to gain perspective on middle aged angst is about as unreasonable as you could probably suggest TBH.

More unreasonable than declaring that you hate everyone and need help?

Edit : And to be fair most comments seem to have encouraged the OP to hate people and given him reasons why it is perfectly reasonable for him to do so.

Long term neoliberal governments have encouraged and facilitated the fragmentation of communities, declining social capital, weakened trades unions, zero hours contracts, government corruption, blame the victim, individualism for the rich, dog eat dog culture for the poor, look after number one, ‘human nature’ is avaricious, ‘they’re all the same’ defeatism etc. This manifests itself on a national level and on an interpersonal level, people feel threatened and aggressively defensive.

Well I knew this, but I didn't necessarily want to be reminded of it on a Monday morning. Thanks for that Debbie Downer.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

No, it doesn't, but changing all those things isn't necessarily going to make some-people improve their outlook on others. As @teaandbiscuits points out, identifying the individuals that you encountered on a daily basis make your life harder actively ignores the hundreds, possibly thousands of folks that you've encountered that just got on with their lives, or made it better.

Just shift your focus.

Can you help me regain some perspective?

As a species we've never lived in a more prosperous, less violent time than now. A person born today is more likely to live a long and comfortable life than at any point in human history.

You may want to weigh this fact against the undoubted personal tragedy of having to listen to someone rustle a crisp packet in the cinema.

lol!