[Closed] Hedge porn....

It was a thing.

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A thing the Internet killed off...

44 here and yes you are spot on. I did email Chris Moyles about 20 years ago for a bot of a giggle complaining about the sad decline of random porn found out and about.

Last seen in about 2005.

Don’t do a google image search for hedge porn. Or do...it’s eye opening...

A thing the Internet killed off...

It still is a thing!

I will admit to being part of the HedgePron Continuation Army.

Bike road trips require every member of the party to bring some gentertainment. Said rhythm pamphlets are then "redistributed" on the way home. Have told this tale before, but worth repeating...

Heading south from CYB, my passenger, who had been assigned with the redistribution that day, yelled at me to stop alongside a bus stop. No lay by, just a bus shelter. He got out, and took what seemed like an age, while I waited impatiently in the car.

When he eventually returned, I asked why it had taken so long.

"I had to make sure the way it was laid out was just so...."

Sadly true.

You'd rather find a damp 'used' copy of Razzle in a hedgerow, with some 'wives' and various skanks of questionable attractiveness over the plethora of beautiful sluts available at your fingertips? Seriously?

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I'm 41 and remember finding random porn in hedges or the woods when I was a kid.

Also DIY can throw up some random porn every now and then. Usually in wall cavities or under floor boards.

A thing the Internet killed off...

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About 5 years ago had a strange weekend - firstly while riding through woods came across (tee hee) a load of hedge porn and the next day while out running spotted white dog s**t it was the 70's all over again!

An old (teenage) workmate used to live right near a truck stop and would raid the bins for their discarded mags. Eugh, I know.

Wonder what happened to that guy. 😈

Back lane pron for me- on my bmx paper round .

Most definitely a thing. My early MTB rides with friends were often abbreviated with a brief stop to view hedge porn spotted in passing. Everyone got quite adept at seeing that flash of flesh coloured magazine lurking under a bush.

It's sad it no longer exists, good on captainflash for trying to keep it alive. There should be a hedge porn resurrection organisation. A bit like the world heritage group thing.

I'm 41 btw. Stuff of my youth. Killed by internet and smart phones.

Last seen 2008, a Warwickshire back road. A copy of Derriere magazine as I recall. I guess thrown from the window of a moving vehicle, but who knows.

It's sad it no longer exists, good on captainflash for trying to keep it alive. There should be a hedge porn resurrection organisation. A bit like the world heritage group thing.

As a parent, which would you rather;
Option A - Little Timmy discovers pron through a faded, yet relatively tasteful copy of Mayfair, or similar, hidden under a bush. (Insert topiary gag here)
Option B - Little Timmy has open access to whatever degrading filth is on the interwebz at the click of a button.

They weren't innocent days, it's still pron, but I would posit the notion that byway bongo is a less harmful introduction than the already wide open Pandora's box of smut that's available online.

Patrol camp (no leaders) with scouts, hiked to local campsite,found a bin bag full on a verge.

Lugged it to campsite set up camp, had a wide game in neighbouring wheat field (Theresa may style, running through the crops) hayfever or porn excitement caused me to have an asthma attack, had to be taken home in an ambulance.

Very sad to learn at school the following week that the rest of the patrol had burnt the lot page by page on the campfire!

This could be combined with geo-caching to create a modern spin

The ashes (the name we gave the dump / garages at the end of our road) 1987, 10 year old me gets his first look at naked ladies. All thanks to a hawthorn bush and the wonders of hedge pron.

The good old days!

Hedge porn was a great thing indeed.

Warren Lee (the woods by the river in my village) was THE place for hedge porn. It was ace

Yep, when I worked for the council in the parks/highways department in the 90's came across a lot of hedge porn 🙂

I'm 33 and [i]just[/i] remember it from childhood. Saw some recently on an audax; appropriate as both hark back to a simpler age.

The smell of damp glossy paper still makes me nostalgic for my teenage days. The woods at the back of my house were a frequent dumping ground for collections of hedge porn. It was always multiple magazines for some reason 🙄
When I was a student I worked in a motorway service station shop and we used to sell porno mags by the boat load. They didn't arrive in the "discretion bags" and I used to get the job of bagging the mags. It was an art to flick through the mags in the stock room whilst bagging them and not get caught by my colleagues 😆

Oh yes, I remember it well.
On my way to primary school I had to walk through a short tunnel under a railway. The drainage ducts at ground level were just the right size for a rolled-up copy of Health & Efficiency or the like. Very educational, when you're 8 or 9.

In the late 70s I enjoyed the remarkable job of sorting through lorry-loads of dustbin rubbish to assess how much of what was in said stuff. (Part of an early recycling project) After a while I learned that a double-wrapped and tied up carrier bag of magazines was always pron. No-one bothered to wrap ordinary magazines so carefully. That was educational, too.

I was aware of hedge porn, but never really had to bother with it that much as I found my dad's porn stash at a formative age (rolled up mags hidden in a metal fishing rod tube in the garage)

Rhythm pamphlets, lol. 🙂 44 and I remember hedge porn fondly. 🙂

Knave was often to be found as John Menzies sold them, many pages stuck together hopefully from the wet grass
Once found a ruder one with Mary Millington with her kit off not that she would wear clothes very often

An early lads snowboarding holiday to Les Arc in the mid-late '90's (?) before the internet really took off had us discovering French porn mags In a Bourg newsagents. This was like hedge porn all over again x10. Utter filth.

We ended up ripping 'prominent' pages out and leaving them in between the stack of dining plates in our Arc1600 digs for the some lucky person to find.

Watch out! Mikewsmith will be along any minute to start shouting shit about MEN being MEN with MEN or somesuch.

Age is irrelevant, I think - I'm 50 and remember copious quantities of the stuff hanging in the local hedgerows. I, too, was having a similar discussion about it the other day with a 65yr old so almost a timeless classic, it would seem.

A weird kink to the whole scene - I once hired a car and when cleaning it before returning found a handful of glossy offerings under the driver's seat.

Hire car porn.

About 15 years ago I found a hardback book of Indian and Japanese erotic drawings on a ride.
Quite different to hardcore German stuff I found on another ride.

Kids these day dont know the struggle we had getting decent Scud mags. Its all on a plate as long as you have a wifi connection and a bedroom door. Was only saying thsi tonight to the wife , my mate coming round with a bag of Knave , fiesta and Razzler and nodding whilst saying "theres yer fitba programs back i borrowed last month".

handful of glossy offerings under the driver's seat.

Warm up act for a dogger?

Grim.

Ah, hadn't thought of that.

Yuck

Watch out! Mikewsmith will be along any minute to start shouting shit about MEN being MEN with MEN or somesuch.

Wut?

whiterabbit84 - Member
This could be combined with geo-caching to create a modern spin

Geo-gashing?

(Sorry, hate that word in that context, but only one that sprang to mind to fit)

I found some 'sexy vampire hedge porn' at the foot of Devil's Dyke on a roadie ride the other week...
I chuckled, turned around and photographed it (in the hedge, not close up!) to share on my cycling facebook group! Raised a few...smiles...!

DrP

It was amazing how some areas were an absolute Fiesta for hedge porn. Quiet residential St near the law hill in Dundee,away from main roads was hoaching with the stuff. About a 25 min walk from my teenage house...15 on a grifter; less if you cut through the allotments.

Round our way there was a period of time when the magazines died out but were replaced with discarded videos. The technicians at work had a TV and video (VHS of course) set up in the store room, ready for the cyclists to deliver their random finds 8)

whiterabbit84 - Member
This could be combined with geo-caching to create a modern spin

Geo-tashing?

zokes »

Watch out! Mikewsmith will be along any minute to start shouting shit about MEN being MEN with MEN or somesuch.

Wut?

It was a somewut lighthearted spin on something Smith wrote on a different thread...

mikewsmith » It's called Banter Edukator, or locker room talk, it's what proper MEN do when they hang out being proper MEN....

Y'know, coz he loves to cast that kind of judgement on other guys for not seeing things exactly like he does. I was pre-empting his usual cries of injustice or wutever it is he likes to froth about.

He'll probably claim never to have looked at pictures of naked women in mags instead claiming to have merely read the stories...

A bit like vinyl, is hedge porn having a revival?

Where I live near Taunton the village shop has loads of specialist mags "over 60s, grandmas" etc. The texaco garage does too

Where I live near Taunton the village shop has loads of specialist mags "over 60s, grandmas" etc. The texaco garage does too

Found some discarded adult videos in a lay-by about 4 years ago. Had a nostalgic chuckle.

Used jazz mags. A bit like nuclear waste. Difficult to dispose of.

Teenager in the early 70's so hedge porn was big - near the allotments best place local to me, don't be greedy just take one or two and hope they get replaced - needed to supplement my source of supply - brother in law was in navy but on nuclear subs and spent months at sea but would come home with a big bag of quality (if well used) which used to take to school - recall we had a regular swop day - think it was thursday - no music or chess club
anyway all the hedgeporn we ever found and swopped was pretty standard newsagent top shelf stuff - except one lad always tried to swop stuff from his dad's collection and couldn't understand the lack of takers - "animal husbandry" isn't that mainstream and this stuff must have cost the dad a lot of dutch guilders was all well below the bottom shelf 8)

Christ imagine the collective cheese on the spines of those oft-held mankwags?

39 here and remember hedge porn well.

I think I knew two distributors of it. I was round a mates once, we were probably about 12, him and his older brother (about 16) were quite excited because "The Pron Baron" was popping round with a delivery he was selling. The excitement built right up to the Baron's arrival. The ddgy deal was done outside the front of the house as another teenager arrived on his bike with a carrier bag full of gentlemen's brochures hanging from his handlebars. I looked out the window to watch the deal take place to recognise that The Pron Baron was in fact my cousin who had ridden 6 miles with the stuff just a wheel snag away being scattered everywhere.

The other was when I worked as a driver's mate as a summer job. We'd turn up at the distribution yard to find a lorry full of people's catalogue stuff to be delivered. We never had the same lorry as they were filled elsewhere and driven to our yard overnight. Anyway, one of the night drivers (we never met any of them) must've been a filthy git, as every few days we'd end up with a lorry which had a huge stash under passenger seat. But more bizarrely was the wooden board that the bloke had cut out and stuck images to, we never touched that as we called it his "w@nk board". We did use to peruse his collection on lunch breaks though and play a game of spot the grimmest image.

play a game of spot the grimmest image.

Hairy pits?

Don’t do a google image search for hedge porn. Or do...it’s eye opening...

I googled it (incognito tab, once...) and it's brilliant.

Got a mate called squirrel and I've now a plethora of bizarre pictures of squirrels doing all manner of things ready for the next round of abuse on the WhatsApp group.

Oh, 35 and remember lots of hedge porn.

There's a newsagent in the Northern Quarter that is wall to wall grot, so I'm presuming that it is making a retro vinyl-style revival with the hipsters

When I was 16 and doing my apprenticeship at ICI in runcorn, the foreign tanker drivers must have had to surrender some kind of grumble tax before they got loaded up. The office by the weighbridge was always absolutely awash with German, French and Dutch bongo mags, which were a hell of a step up from Razzle 😯

I do wonder if this will continue post-Brexit? It's no wonder I voted remain 😀

And the award for "Most Tenuous Yet Amusing Diverision of a Thread onto Brexit" goes to...

When I was at uni, a lad I shared a house with was forever roughing up the prime suspect. That's if he didn't have the funds for one of his regular visits for a topless hand shandy at the knocking shop down the road. So after a few beers and a smoke we'd have a late-night stroll to the 24 hour garage.

We'd stand at the slidey-draw kiosk thing at midnight, I'd go for the usual post-smoke mega monster munch, then grant would despatch the poor little Asian guy over to the magazine rack.

He would then direct him to flick through all the available jazz periodicals, holding them up to the window, as he stood there as if studying a Picasso at a gallery, looking thoughtful and nodding appreciatively. Having made his selection, we'd mosey back home where it would be added to the enormous bongo library in the airing cupboard.

Aaaaah... the happy, care-free days of youth

Binners - that is class!

Reminds me of a chap I used to share with. It was his house but he was in the RAF. He was away a lot. Again after a few smokes my mate went into his room as he said he must have mags.

And behold he did. About 10 copies of "cherry poppers".
😯

Basically women dressed as school girls. He had the accompanying VHS video too 😉

Back in my BT field tech days (mid to late 80s) I found a lane with the hedges decorated in 100's of magazines that were beyond the usual top shelf stuff available in the UK at the time.

Took a few visits to suss out what was going on, there was a landfill at the end of the lane and when the local councils did their regular raids on the limited number of sex shops in the area, they'd send literal lorry loads to be buried and they were a bit slap dash in keeping them covered either in the back of the vans or when dumped at the landfill and the hedge porn fairies would deposit them down the length of the lane, either that or the wind would pick them up and blow them all over the place.

One of my uni house mates had a huge collection of mags. When questioned as to why he had so many he said "I had a bet with a mate as to who could accumulate £100 worth of grot." He won. Had he lost he'd have had to buy his mate a pint... would've been cheaper, but he wouldn't have such a legendary collection. However, we all nearly came to blows. One night we told him to get his collection out and he told us that he'd dumped it all in the communal bins as he'd got a new girlfriend. He didn't even think about redistributing it amongst his house mates.

50 yr old here and remember it well, big part of growing up , “the gang” used to sit in the local ww2 pillar box passing them round while one would read out the stories, then came the game changer we found A5 sized import with full pen, and money shots!! Then moved into the shipyard and joined the porn club for 30p a week, you could loan a mag for a week then return it, he used to put it in a book booked out to you, the organiser was doing so well he had regular trips to Amsterdam to source new material, one of the lads had that much in his loft at the digital changeover rather than despise of it he plastered it all into the walls as he converted it into a bedroom , someone will get a ten year collection one day,happy days!!

I remember staying at my older sister's flat when she was at uni, and one of her male housemates quietly saying "there's some reading material in the back of the airing cupboard, if you're in the flat on your own". Between the three male occupants (and possibly the two female as well, but since one was my sister, that way madness lies...) there was about a two foot high stack of mags, from Razzle to Private and just about everything in between. Did a treat for 15-year old me.

he plastered it all into the walls as he converted it into a bedroom

Art.

Saw some quite recently whilst driving my kids to gymnastics class. A trained eye can spot it a mile away, looked like someone had scunned a handful of mags out of a moving car window so they were littering the verges on either side of the road.

On the topic of rhythm pamphlet room decoration, I had some mates at Uni who lived in an all-male house and had seen fit to plaster their downstairs toilet literally floor to ceiling in scud pics. One of the residents there was alarmed to receive a surprise visit from his parents, who'd brought his gran along, too.

She was busting for a wee after the journey and was too frail to make it up the stairs to the proper, non-jazz bathroom, so I believe another housemate was dispatched sharpish to tear down the full ensemble, feigning having a big poo, whilst grandma was kept in holding in the kitchen.