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Anyone had any success with asking a neighbor to smoke a little further away from their own house?!
Relatively new neighbors, lady neighbor smokes heavily (2/hour at least). They have a rear door, we don't. She exits said door and immediately sparks up - means continually shutting windows to avoid the stench and smoke. Which is a shame on a nice spring day!
Any sensitive suggestions welcome!
Edit: hadn't made it clear. Their rear door is right next to our kitchen window.
Ta..
Turn a sprinkler on that is set to cover that side of your garden and the side of their garden?
Go & politely speak to her is all you can do.
Or: install a HUGE fan and blow it back at her
Or: wee on her fag box
Or: hammer her frozen cigarettes into her lawn
In general, like most addicts, smokers have no self awareness and very little consideration for others. See also vapers.
I love these threads.
"My neighbour is smoking outside 10 foot away, I am going to get cancer!"
"My neighbour is smoking weed inside their house and my kids are going to get stoned".
My neighbour likes to sit by his Chimnea smoking weed, which is very close to the boundary line. Cue 2 types of smoke blowing into our house almost nightly in summer. Live and let live.
No, not at all.
Oh, OK. How about you grow a sense of proportion, or a healthy dose of mind your own ****ing business then? Honestly; the sense of entitlement is bewildering.
Wow, angry chappy. Suggest you go outside and take a long deep breath. Fresh air optional.
Thanks for life pro tip btw. Most appreciated!
Pop round and bum her dog....
while smoking a fag.
Wow, angry chappy.
No, not really, my advice is pretend you live alongside other people, that they live their lives independently to your requirements will comes as less of shock that way.
"Stench" is putting it a bit strong, isn't it? I'm no smoker, and no particular fan of cigarette smoke, but smoke from a cigarette smoked outside, next door, is surely a waft at worst, isn't it?
Turn a sprinkler on that is set to cover that side of your garden and the side of their garden?
Obviously don't do this to upset your neighbor. That would make you a bad person.
Do it to suppress the particulate pollution instead.
“Stench” is putting it a bit strong, isn’t it? I’m no smoker, and no particular fan of cigarette smoke, but smoke from a cigarette smoked outside, next door, is surely a waft at worst, isn’t it?
I'm all for a bit of "live and let live", but it's a pretty repulsive smell IMO.
I do the neighbourly thing and don't subject them to Rick Astley Vs Slipknot Mash-up remixes wafting over the fence, I'd quite like it if they would stop smoking next to my back door and would give up their f****** dashound for adoption as it's just there in the garden 16 hours a day barking at everything and never being walked.
It's a tricky one, as regardless of how politely you approach people I fully expect to be met with a torrent of abuse, but that's my assumption and you may have understanding neighbours who can see it from someone else's point of view and be willing to work out a compromise.
All you can do is have a chat and hope you get lucky.
Unfortunately, her idea of enjoying a nice spring day is to sit in her own garden and smoke a tasty cigarette. Hard luck.
See also: kids running around screaming in the garden and DIY noise.
No, not really, my advice is pretend you live alongside other people, that they live their lives independently to your requirements will comes as less of shock that way.
Living alongside other people - it's a good way to put it.
Life is about compromises and tolerating. The flip side to this is of course courtesy and consideration. Both of them together is what makes the world go around just that little bit smoother. I wonder then if the smokers of the world ever consider exercising a smidge of the courtesy and consideration bit of that social contract? Or is it merely for the tolerators to just be more awesums at being tolerant? See also, bonfirelighters, screaming child breeders, barking dog captors and DIY fetishists etc etc.
Threads like this are always a fun game of "spot the smoker." See also: dog owners, cat owners, child owners...
In general, like most addicts, smokers have no self awareness and very little consideration for others.
How about you grow a sense of proportion, or a healthy dose of mind your own **** business then? Honestly; the sense of entitlement is bewildering.
Unlike most of the posters, I can empathise with the OP.
Had this in our old terrace in Sheffield, the young couple would smoke directly outside their back door, with the smoke neatly getting blown into our house via the kitchen and bathroom vents.
It was minging and I was ecstatic when they moved.
Oh, and I did politely and repeatedly ask them if they'd mind smoking at the other end of the garden please, which usually had a positive effect for about a week or until it rained (and then they'd huddle by the back door again).
“Stench” is putting it a bit strong, isn’t it?
It depends I suppose. It is a very strong and pervasive smell, and if it is as the OP claims they're out every half an hour then that's, what, a pack and a half per day each? I can see how that would get old (and grim) pretty fast.
My mum's next door neighbours are COPD & oxygen cylinder level smokers, they smoke indoors and you can smell it from the street when walking past.
I expect some people on this thread cook meat and bacon and care not a damn that others who are repulsed by the smell of meats cooking.
Call me Mr Sceptical, but I fear it would be somewhat atypical for someone to have 30 outdoor barbecues a day, every day.
Oh but I think I can smell cigarettes. How dare they,how dare they.
Threads like this are always a fun game of “spot the smoker.”
Other than being friendly and politely explaining the issue and provider a mutually satisfactorary alternative, then I don't think there is much else you can do. As they are new neighbours, if your first interaction with them is asking them not to do something which gives them pleasure is probably not going to go well. You may have to get used to closing the window while you get to know them.
The fan in your kitchen to blow back the smoke is the only alternative I can think of.
I'm quite amazed at the number of angry posts regarding this. Life is full of such issues and compromises.
The shoes in the hallway thread resurrected!
I had a solution when the neighbours with the house at right-angles to mine used to smoke in their garden. I grumbled swears under my breath and shut the window. Actually, they will probably do it again next summer, so I might grumble a bit louder. Obviously not loud enough for them to hear. Or! I could ask a load of "I can tolerate anything, me" types on the web.. hmm!
As they are new neighbours, if your first interaction with them is asking them not to do something which gives them pleasure is probably not going to go well.
Maybe bake them a nice cake to welcome to them the neighbourhood then in pink icing sugar on the top write in a nice script font 'stop smoking, you inconsiderate bastards'
Thats the perfect compromise, surely? Eveyone likes cake
I’m quite amazed at the number of angry posts regarding this. Life is full of such issues and compromises.
Smoking has been scientifically proven to thin the skin 😉
That sounds absolutely grim, and is unacceptable. It could make your possessions (and house) stink of smoke too if it genuinely does come through the window. People will think you smoke before long. However as others have suggested, they might not be self aware to the fact that it negatively affects people around them...
The first thing you can do is be really amicable and polite and explain the problem. "Killing people with kindness" genuinely goes quite far. If they don't bite, try immediately hitting them with the 'been through cancer and this affects me' for hopefully a bit more empathy. (Save that as card to play though in the initial outreach)
If that doesn't work, then sorry you have crap neighbours & only you can decide how far it goes
If they don’t bite, try immediately hitting them with the ‘been through cancer and this affects me’ for hopefully a bit more empathy.
You're actually suggesting fabricating a story about having had cancer to try and get a neighbour not to have a fag in her own back garden?
Wow!
For the record: I'm not a smoker
Maybe bake them a nice cake to welcome to them the neighbourhood then in pink icing sugar on the top write in a nice script font ‘stop smoking, you inconsiderate bastards’
Welcoming them to the neighbourhood is certainly a good step. Calling them inconsiderable bastards probably won't get you what you want.
And not everyone likes icing on cake,.
I have some sympathy, to me the smell of cigarette smoke is just rank, the actual smoke itself, but also the stale tobacco smell on clothes, in cars and houses belonging to heavy smokers. I think a lot of smokers are so desensitised to it that they just don't realise. Not all of course, plenty are aware and considerate but a significant minority aren't.
Smells affect people differently, I'm sure there are loads of non smokers who aren't bothered at all, but I just find it really unpleasant. I generally don't moan about it (except on here - since you asked)! or expect others to accommodate my dislikes, I just choose to avoid places where it's an issue. People who smoke inconsiderately with no awareness of people near them are in the same category imo as people who eat smelly food on crowded public transport or play loud music in public. It's just selfish and inconsiderate.
Middle class solution: A kitchen extension, hence moving where your kitchen window is to way from their door. Solves your problem, gets you a bigger kitchen in the process.
"Threads like this are always a fun game of “spot the smoker.”
The ones with no sense of smell.
binners
Full Member
Does the dashound smoke? Maybe while playing pool?
No, that would have required a level of training by our neighbors.
The most attention they pay to it is screaming at it to shut up in Portuguese from an upstairs window.
I expect some people on this thread cook meat and bacon and care not a damn that others who are repulsed by the smell of meats cooking.
In my defense we only complained about that when they turned their back yard into a 1* hygiene rating Deliveroo kitchen and our driveway got blocked with mopeds and Nissan Micras.
I am somewhat surprised at the level of some of the responses here.
How about you grow a sense of proportion, or a healthy dose of mind your own **** business then? Honestly; the sense of entitlement is bewildering.
I expect some people on this thread cook meat and bacon and care not a damn that others who are repulsed by the smell of meats cooking.
Oh but I think I can smell cigarettes. How dare they,how dare they.
Good grief! The OP has simply asked for advice on how to approach them politely, trying to get an amicable solution where the neighbour can carry on enjoying their smoke but not right next to the window.
2 fags an hour outside your window is a pretty offensive smell to any non-smoker. I don't smoke and actually quite like the smell in small doses but concur with "stench" in this case... It's hardly comparable to kids or DIY noise either, unless one of your neighbours has that going almost continually. This is also easily fixable simply by them moving to the other side of the garden...
Some time ago we had neighbours that would stand outside their front door smoking weed. No problem with that per se, except it was right under our bedroom window and the strong smell every evening was very off-putting, especially as we had a new baby at the time. We asked them politely to not smoke under the window, they hadn't realised and were perfectly happy to move to the back door instead. Easily solved, everyone happy, really no big issue 🤷♂️
Cheers for the suggestions, some strange though. Cake idea is hilarious. They have been here a few months now so might seem like a delayed 'Welcome gift'! 😉
For those who like detail - we have fairly big gardens, and are a terrace of 5 cottages set back from the road. Said smoking takes place immediately at the door. Like squeeze out the door and smoke.
Appreciate I sounds massively entitled not wishing our place to smell of smoke, and I do shut the windows when I can (every 30 mins or so), but now at least I have some insight from those on both sides of argument. Thanks again.
I think a lot of smokers are so desensitised to it that they just don’t realise.
But she's going outside to have a fag, so clearly thats not the case.
When I used to smoke I'd never smoke indoors anyway as its mingin', but I don't see what the issue is if someone is smoking in their own garden. What do you actually want them to do? Walk to the end of the road? Stand in the middle of a field?
Having said that, I always used to wander around while smoking so I could look deep in thought like a French romantic poet. Since packing in I've also stopped wearing black roll-necks and drinking absinthe during the day
Middle class solution: A kitchen extension, hence moving where your kitchen window is to way from their door. Solves your problem, gets you a bigger kitchen in the process.
Cheaper version: Buy the neighbours one of those garden bars. They can have a fag and a drink, hopefully located a bit further away.
Appreciate I sounds massively entitled not wishing our place to smell of smoke
It really doesn't! Good luck!
What do you actually want them to do? Walk to the end of the road? Stand in the middle of a field?
I've double checked the OP for you, and 'a little further away from their own house'
... don’t see what the issue is if someone is smoking in their own garden. What do you actually want them to do? Walk to the end of the road? Stand in the middle of a field?
Stand 10 feet away so the smell doesn't go straight in their neighbour's window.
Make them a present of a nice garden chair or something, I dunno.
Goodness me, and I thought cat 💩 in the garden was controversial, it's got nothing on this.
"Appreciate I sounds massively entitled"
Let's just be completely clear, you don't.
but it’s a pretty repulsive smell IMO.
It is literally a tiny quantity of leaves smouldering for a few minutes.
I accept that not everyone might appreciate it but it's stretching a bit to describe it as a stench and repulsive, we are not talking about burning plastic or boiling cabbage.
If anyone is entitled it is the person who is smoking right next to your window without caring/thinking about it.
What do you actually want them to do? Walk to the end of the road? Stand in the middle of a field?
None of those, just maybe not right next to a neighbours kitchen window. They're probably nice people and have no idea it's an issue and will likely be perfectly reasonable about it if asked.
The OPs neighbour clearly thinks it's a repulsive stench, otherwise they wouldn't be going into the back garden ...
They’re probably nice people and have no idea it’s an issue and will likely be perfectly reasonable about it if asked
Exactly, nobody has ever reacted in an overly selfish manner to a reasonable request 😉
My neighbours used to do this in their garden and it minged me out and upset my (asthmatic) wife.
I waited them out. The bloke now can't leave the house easily due to his COPD and watches tv with an O2 mask on.
That'll learn us non-smokers!
I accept that not everyone might appreciate it but it’s stretching a bit to describe it as a stench and repulsive, we are not talking about burning plastic or boiling cabbage.
I'd take the smell of boiling cabbage over fag smoke any day of the week!
The OPs neighbour clearly thinks it’s a repulsive stench, otherwise they wouldn’t be going into the back garden
Not at all. I blame banning smoking from pubs - going outside for a fag has now become an indispensable part of the smoking ritual.
It certainly makes having a fag far more focused and enjoyable than simply lighting up indoors without giving it a second thought.
Buy a handful of Elf bars in different popular flavours (that you dont object to!) Pop round and tell your neighbour that you have been reading about the dangers of smoking and have been really worrying about them. Hand over the vapes and say that that you have heard that they are a much healthier option and that you think if they use them it might stop you worrying about them. End the conversation with a cheery wave and a smile..... the kindness of strangers.....
I’d take the smell of boiling cabbage over fag smoke any day of the week!
I'd take the smell of burning plastic over it too to be honest.
Our neighbours plus all their friends smoke all sorts from tobacco to the strongest smelly drugs you can buy.
This blows through our windows and is not nice.
we’ve asked them over several years to smoke at the front, but you can imagine the response.
OP I you have better luck than we have.
Honestly, just ask nicely, new neighbours, so just make polite conversation and just raise it, ask if there is another option, if not it's no biggy, but if you don't ask, you don't get. Just keep it civil and lighthearted, if they take the hump then they're probably neighbours who'll keep themselves to themselves anyway.
I used to smoke for years, stopped about 15 years ago, if someone asked me that politely at the time i'd have looked at smoking somewhere else if possible, it's just how you ask, and how they respond.
Get a cat so that it shits in your neighbour's garden?
Ex smoker here.. the smell now really irritates me... Its also significantly worse if its tailor made cigarettes, baccy doesn't seem to be as obnoxious
However.. i don't think you can really say anything, the smell travels a long way, well, you cant say anything until your on real friendly terms with them... Especially when its winter and raining they will be stood at their back door.
The best thing you can do is be selective with what windows you open
Thank god i dont have one of those awful stinking diesel or petrol cars.
Complains about tobacco smoke, but drives a vehicle that pollutes everyone.
.
Dont like the smells coming in your window. ? Then buy air freshener.
Every time you notice the smoke, pop outside and cadge a fag. Explain that you have given up but the smell through your window brings it all back. If you do this regularly, they will soon find somewhere else to smoke.
Commiserations op, that sounds nasty. Most neighbourly stuff like crying kids, shitting cats, yapping dogs, banging music etc I can cope with but this would really do my head in. And I don’t mind the occasional whiff of a cigarette (better than the bloody mushroom clouds of fake strawberry crap from the vape of a grown man who has lost all self respect).
Er. Anyway, yes just ask nicely every so often if they could move away from the door. Expect when it is cold/raining they probably won’t but otherwise surely it’s not the first time someone has asked them to go a bit further away.
Or get an outdoor extractor. Or put in an extremely loud air conditioning unit right next to them. Or get a pregnant lady to parade her bump around the garden and then ask nicely. Or get a shitting cat.
If you can't beat 'em...
"Thank god i dont have one of those awful stinking diesel or petrol cars."
tbf if you sat in a running car with the exhaust pipe right under OP's window ten times a day, you'd be as unreasonable as OP's neighbour
Other than being friendly and politely explaining the issue and provider a mutually satisfactorary alternative, then I don’t think there is much else you can do. As they are new neighbours, if your first interaction with them is asking them not to do something which gives them pleasure is probably not going to go well.
Honestly, they might not even know / realise that it's drifting across. If you do approach them, "I'm not sure if you now but..."
For the record: I’m not a smoker
Then I apologise for the insinuation.
I think a lot of smokers are so desensitised to it that they just don’t realise.
Almost certainly.
As I said before, it's a very pervasive smell. It clings. I had the good fortune to have a bloke sit next to me on the train the other day who absolutely stank.
it’s stretching a bit to describe it as a stench and repulsive
Do you smoke, Ernie?
Complains about tobacco smoke, but drives a vehicle that pollutes everyone.
I don't recall ever walking past someone in Tesco and thinking "christ, he's a diesel driver."
we were trimming back the honeysuckle under our back window to discover our neighbour had been shoving their butts under the fence, it was a large carrier bag full once collected, I knock on the door a presented it to them "think these belong to you". They did the same to the people the other side but managed to set fire to their shed 😕
Do you smoke, Ernie?
Nope. 20 years ago I smoked approximately 35 a day. But since giving I haven't embraced the anti-smoking zeal of many other former smokers.
When you go and have a friendly chat with them you could take them a smoke buddy and ask if they'd mind using it. It's a hand held filter designed to be exhaled through to reduce the smoke and smell. Or if you don't want to talk to them about it perhaps a fan next to the window is preferable to closing it?
Every time they nip out for a fag run out with a fire extinguisher and give ‘em a good blast. Don’t forget to post it on Tick Tock
Thank god i dont have one of those awful stinking diesel or petrol cars
A particularly fine example of “Whataboutery”.
Point them to this thread then they can read up the merits of pros & cons of what others deem acceptable.
Await a barrage of hard boiled eggs through your window
Simples
I'd keep the windows shut anyway - smoking is expensive nowadays, if she smokes as many as you reckon she'll be skinny enough to get through that open window and steal your Toby jugs and horse brasses to help feed her nicotine addiction.
Shit on their lawn, that's my plan for my weed smoking singing neighbours. Just awaiting the nerve to do it.
sirromj
Full Member
Shit on their lawn, that’s my plan for my weed smoking singing neighbours. Just awaiting the nerve to do it.
... And I'm going to be awaiting the news headlines!😉😁
Shit on their lawn, that’s my plan for my weed smoking singing neighbours. Just awaiting the nerve to do it.
Having a crap on someone's lawn is very alpha male. If you are struggling to find the nerve to do it I bet you cover it up before leaving.