[Closed] Having a rubbish day

What's up? Just work being a pain in the arse, or a general feeling of things being a bit rubbish?

Look, I know it's small comfort, but the weekend is pretty much here. Have a lie in tomorrow and then pick somewhere nice to hit up on your bike. Or maybe just head into town and find a nice coffee shop that does a decent brew and good cake. That always cheers me up a bit.

If it's nothing more serious than a general malaise or an inability to get stuff done and it's just one day then give up on the day, set your expectations to zero for the rest of Friday and start afresh tomorrow.

If it's more serious than that then share it if you want, someone on here may be able to help or point you in the direction of someone else that can.

Sending a chest bump.

What's up?

(It it helps you giggle, I fell through a ceiling for the first time in 14 years of flooring on Tuesday. 😀 )

positive vibes...for what's it worth.

email in profile, an all that. but it [b]is[/b] the weekend. make like Willard... 8)

Nothing seems to be going right, and I'm kind of struggling to cope

You are not alone. If it is something more than just one shit day, have a look at some of my recent posts and decide if you want to share you worries on here.

I've had some useful advice on here recently, as well as some people emailing me away from the forum. Though riding and chatting with a good mate has also been really therapeutic.

Well, whilst you are feeling down, just ask yourself - Why did the lion and the witch enter the wardrobe?

Narnia business.

I wish it was just one day. Just had something relatively trivial not go as expected today, which resulted in me feeling up and then down. Wanted to talk to somebody about it, but have no friends to speak of and relationship with kids' mum is going down the tube (though she'd likely have been fairly uninterested in the problem even when we still had a relationship). Feeling pretty lonely and realised how much I struggle to pick myself up from minor stuff like this because I'm so fundamentally unhappy with life.

It's all got on top of me today too.
*chings beer glass*

Sorry my "joke" feels a bit glib now.
Have felt the same quite often. Fortunately it doesn't last and i try to give myself small things to look forward to, and try and live one day at a time.

My day hasn't been the best. But I am very sure it will get better. Same goes to you op.
One thing my therapist told me was, when you're feeling shit, listen to the music that you love, loud. Use headphones if necessary but dance around the kitchen like a lunatic. It works for me.

Aracer, I have no idea who you are, where you are or whether you drink beer but if you're in the midlands, do drink beer and want to talk to a random guy about cycling/life/nothibg at all let me know.

Everyone needs to clear their head and talk to someone from time to time, if you haven't got anyone to do that with it can be tough.

I think there's a tendency in all of us to think we 'should' be able to Cope. But if the support isn't there, then the stress just builds and builds.

If it's just an ear you need to listen to you have a little whine and a moan, feel free to unload

If you could just hold on to that feeling for a few more weeks I'm sure we can sort it out at The Swan at Newlands when I get back. Till then just bottle it up a bit. And kick a cat. Any cat will do, but not one called Cecil, mmmkay?

 

I completely sympathise with you

I have a lot more of those days than I would like

I'm also short of friends

It's difficult, but with the downs come the ups

Riding somewhere quiet and beautiful usually helps a bit

I completely sympathise with you
I have a lot more of those days than I would like
I'm also short of friends
It's difficult, but with the downs come the ups

+1.

Nearly destroyed my bike yesterday doing what should have been a simple job, argument last night with the Mrs, boss in a strop. Tomorrow though I'm taking my son for a ride in the woods with lunch at the Tea hut therein for the first time. It won't be fast as he's six, but it makes up for a whole week of shite.

Don't spend time making yourself unhappy aracer. It's easily done, and is consuming.

I've had a ratio of about 1 good to 30 bad for the last 8 months..... 😕

aracer, I guess if you feel generally unhappy the little things are going to be a lot worse. It's so hard to pick yourself up sometimes but much easier with the help of someone else.

Where are you based? I'm in Leeds. Free Sunday and if you want to ride and vent or just ride let me know. silascollins AT icloud DOT com

aracer, we sound as though we are in a very similar emotional/mental state and I can't tell you what will work for you but I can tell you what works for me and you might get something from it and if you don't I'm sure someone else will chip in with their coping strategy and that might suit you better.

I had a very traumatic start to the year and this left me in place where I've been unable to concentrate, unable to plan effectively and most notably unable to cope with what to anyone else would seem almost insignificant setbacks, they can be anything, but when it goes wrong it hits hard and that feeling can last a few hours or a few days. But importantly for me at least it does pass.

And that is the key, once it's passed I don't gloss over it, forget it and pretend everything is fine. I do the opposite I remember how it felt and that it passed and that eventually I felt better again afterwards. The next time I get to feeling the same way (and so far there's always been a next time) I'm able to draw on that feeling and convince myself that the current darkness will pass too. This seems to shorten the bad times and feels like I've got some small element of control over the situation.

It may be a poor analogy but I can liken it to riding. Sometimes you go out and the weather is foul, theres a howling headwind that seems to change direction as you do all day long, the cold means you lose sensation in your feet and hands and you feel empty from the moment you start. It's all you can do to get round and get back home in one piece. Those rides are awful but they are also the ones that let you know how much you can suffer and still bounce back. We are riders, we are resilient and we bounce back.

I've been going through something similar and have been for a few months. If you're in the south and want a pint or pedal email is in profile. Just make sure you talk to someone.

However bad things get, you have to try and accentuate the positives. People die every day, get diagnosed with cancer, are walking around with white sticks etc etc

Pull yourself together and understand YOU are one of the lucky ones!

Shit year/month/week/day here too.....

Really busy at work, understaffed, colleagues with ridiculous flexible working arrangements, incompetent, illogical, inefficient and lazy senior colleagues and manager.

Manager using a lot of management speak, changing processes and established working practices (back to what they used to be (he's new)), rather than tackling under performing staff.

Result - mixture of blurred vision/inability to focus, headaches, nausea 4 days running, eye test - half day on sick, several heated debates with manger. Diagnosed as migraines caused by stress.

Beer, bikes and tractors this weekend then.

Feeling pretty lonely and realised how much I struggle to pick myself up from minor stuff like this because I'm so fundamentally unhappy with life.

Yeh, I hear yah. Had a cold all week, barely been able to work, and now my car has broken. Probably been one of the worst weeks of the year for me; just felt alone/trapped/isolated all week. These feelings come every now and again; gotta remember they do pass (and then you just go back to feeling very mediocre 😉

Not sure how you change all this shit; does everyone feel like this from time to time?

I take anti depressants; they usually keep me on an even keel, but sometimes there's a blip and it's horrible.

Pull yourself together and understand YOU are one of the lucky ones!

🙄

wow, it all comes tumbling out 😯

guys have you thought about seeking some help, maybe CBT or mindfulness?

It sounds a bit hippy dippy, I know, but they can give you the tools to be aware of issues that are causing unhappiness, noting them, but allowing them to pass by.

Has helped a few close relatives of mine recently. Very much

wow, it all comes tumbling out

guys have you thought about seeking some help, maybe CBT or mindfulness?

Yeh man, done all of that shit, it was quite helpful but I only got a few sessions on the NHS so I haven't done it for quite some time.

I've taken a fair few AD's seem to have found one that works as I've been on it for over a year and seem to feel better than I used to. But **** me, yesterday I wished I was dead again.

Blimey fella, sorry to hear you are struggling, a fellow big hitter and all 😛

Seriously, let some out if you can.

Although it's no consolation to hear that others are finding things hard, at least there may be some comfort that you're not the only one. My moods have been on a rollercoaster but more down than up for the last 2 years. I was depressed about my back but had a successful op and am happy to be back on my bike. Got married this year and am really happy about that too.
But still have trouble with feeling down. GP wants me to take antidepressants but I have had so much trouble tolerating meds in the past, I'm scared to start taking them. Just had a really stressful and intense week at work, with 2 totally sleepless nights, a terrifying migraine aura in the middle of the night, and I'm sat here in my pyjamas at 9 pm on a Friday, almost falling asleep!

Shit dude that sounds awful, can't imagine what it must be like.

Pull yourself together and understand YOU are one of the lucky ones!

Aracer, I think we need another spell away on a 'Ton's Touring Weekend'

FWIW I get the heebies every day I go to work, can't stand the job & now detest the confrontation plus loads of other things that are going on there.
& the cat died suddenly this morning, & I'm working this weekend. 🙄

We all go through dark periods during our lives. Had a long and frustrating and ultimately rubbish week myself this week. Sadly it has been one of many recently.

I'm off for a bike ride at dawn tomorrow. Its a small thing but I can spend the rest of the day knowing I was up early on my bike before the roads got too busy and when everything was lovely and quiet. Its the small things that matter in life.

However bad things get, you have to try and accentuate the positives. People die every day, get diagnosed with cancer, are walking around with white sticks etc etc

Pull yourself together and understand YOU are one of the lucky ones!

I know the mindset and it works for some types - but this is unhelpful.

However there do seem to be people who operate better if they keep themselves busy, I have a friend who's a shrink who thinks that therapy for some people ends up making things worse.

When it all got too much, I found talking to a GP really helped me get it out of my system and into the open. Started about stress at work, just came tumbling out about other crap as well. And once it's all out there, you can start to see where you need to start to work on.

Quite looking forward to counselling, strangely. Talking to someone with no vested interest, no " but the work still needs to be done" no " what about the bills and the kids". No other agenda, however well meaning.

To those with work problems, worth remembering that stress is a H&S issue, work have a responsibility to address problems. But it's not easy to discuss in the office, I know.

And I know plenty of other people have real "proper" problems. That doesn't make mine feel any less, and just makes me feel less capable for not coping with them. Strangely, a friends "proper" problem has started to crop up in my own weird nightmares, I now wake up panicking for both of us!

Its the small things that matter in life.

True dat.

Strangely, a friends "proper" problem has started to crop up in my own weird nightmares, I now wake up panicking for both of us!

Hopefully they are feeling a bit better now you've taken over.

Well, I'm more than happy to lend an ear on a ride to anyone who fancies a bit of Hebden tech and a pint in the Old Gate.

Standing invite, like 😀

Also having a very shit time of it at the moment.

No words to help as can't think of any for myself, but just talk. I've had lots of people wanting to chat to me which I appreciate.

We're all here for you

[quote=davidtaylforth] gotta remember they do pass (and then you just go back to feeling very mediocre

😆

[quote=esselgruntfuttock ]Aracer, I think we need another spell away on a 'Ton's Touring Weekend'

Yeah - that was definitely the high point of my year, by quite a long way. Though I think in general I was coping a lot better then.

The other issue is that if it was this weekend I wouldn't be going - have a bad back which isn't getting better and have only ridden a couple of times on the road in the last few weeks, and had a month or so off with the same issue earlier in the year. I also used to kayak and run, have only kayaked a handful of times this year and have barely run in the last 18 months with a knee injury followed by a hernia op and now my back problems. Not good when you rely on endorphins for medication (tried ADs, they didn't seem to do me any good). Oh and due another hernia op probably in September (pre-op in a few weeks) so that's another 6 weeks out.

Sorry for all the moaning, will definitely take you up on that drink offer Stoner, and lunge if you're anywhere near Malvern?

Oh, and the bad back means I don't think I'll be taking the kids camping by bike or canoe, which is something I was really looking forwards to. Am really, really pissed off with myself because I did it the same way both times when I should have just avoided that until my fitness had improved, and whilst it got better the first time, this time I don't seem to be making any progress.

Thanks to everybody for the helpful comments.

Mate, you're one of the good guys.

I was going to follow that comment up with platitudes but really, that's the crux.

Feel better soon.

Yeh, shit if you can't ride. What types of ad's have you tried? Worth trying as few different ones' i reckon. Give Effexor a whirl; class for the first few days, you feel like you're stoned.

Aracer - do you get ups and downs that fluctuate? Any periods when you feel overly energetic?

Anyway, if you want some perspective.....read "An Unquiet Mind". It's a pretty eye opening look into the life of someone with bipolar disorder (in this case an eminent professor of psychiatry) - that is often quite funny to boot. Anyway, I wasn't depressed when I read it, but her life was far cosier than mine and she ended up suffering from that crap disease. So it made me feel a bit better about taking my time getting to where I want to be in life.

Those that have expressed they don't have too many mates to choose from - why not get together? You already have a common interest and who knows what else might come of it. 🙂

one of the good guys

That being the case, who are the bad guys...?

Who do you think I am, Father Christmas?

Hope things are improving.

when you're feeling shit, listen to the music that you love, loud.

Room for another?

Hope you can work through your rubbish and come out the other side in good fettle.

We're all here for you

Can only echo that. Birmingham based and always ready to chat (and ride once my latest break heals!).

have a bad back which isn't getting better

I remember many years ago hearing it said that one of the most common explanations for back pain in patients who went to see their GPs was depression.

Unlikely as it might seem apparently the link between back pain and depression is well established.

Anyway aracer I hope things look a little more positive for you soon, although it will of course require some positive proactive input from you - not always easy when you're feeling low.

If cycling and running are definitely out then even going for a walk can have a very positive effect. Go chimney pot spotting on your walk! Strange as it might seem going for a walk and making a note of all the different shapes and sizes of chimney pots is a known exercise to help lift your mood.

Looking skywards where the source of the light is rather than the gloomy and darker ground, all the more so if there is plenty of blue sky, can have a positive effect on your mood. Plus it encourages you to walk more upright and not slouch - which is good for your back. Try it 🙂

Bummer . I know how it feels.
Don't know the answer,I ride a bike to ward off the evil spirits.
Mr Taylforth ,stw would not be the same for me without your incisive wit .
Ta very much.
Aracer...carry on.

That is a shame aracer. I was feeling low recently. Took up a few off the wall hobbies for me. Joined a choir and now feel more involved in the local community. Don't know if it will work for you, but you could try something new out of leftfield. You could also talk to your GP. It can help. Good luck.

So many things going on in my life I wish Dignitas were more accessible.

FWIW I get the heebies every day I go to work, can't stand the job & now detest the confrontation plus loads of other things that are going on there.

That is 100% where I am at the moment as well.

I don't know what the answer is fully yet, but keeping occupied in my time away from that hole I call work seems to help. Sitting around doing nothing seems to bring on the wobbles.

I am currently living my life like swimming through shit for 5/7 of the time getting from island to island (the weekends). I have finally started to do something concrete about getting out of my workplace, and it seems to have given me a bit of perspective.

Oh well, it's early Sunday and I've got a load of stuff to do in the garden as well as two kids to entertain, so on with the proper bit of life and defer thinking about the other crap for now.

I can sympathise with you mate. I broke up with my mrs just over two years ago, two kids I only get to see once a week.

I reallt struggled for the first 6-12 months and made some really silly decisions, luckily I met someone new and she ent me for counselling, I was diagnosed with depression but couldn't take medication due to my job role (railways) so I continued counselling and that helped a hell of a lot more tham I thought it ever would.

I stopped counselling aroung 5 months back, had a terrible couple of days from Friday myself, think what I have learned is how to know how to handle these states of mind and how to recognise they're coming around, sometimes there's no rhyme or reason for them but they happen.

As people have said, there's always people on here who will listen, I'd try and find some volunteer counselling in your area and talk to someone.

All the best mate.

I get really emotionally affected by physical problems..
I can't be the dad I like to be, I can't be the partner I'd like to be and I lose interest in riding etc..

The self doubt soon creeps in..

I went through a period of this a couple months back due to injury, and I'm just coming out the other side..

First thing is get any physical pain properly managed.. Poorly managed pain is very subtly exhausting.. Then focus on the kids, think up some new activity that you can partake and engage with them fully (some thinking outside of the box may be required, the answer may be simpler than you think.. What do they love to do?)
Next find something creative to achieve and start doing it.. Preferably complete the project if poss..

Thirdly.. (fourthly?) Any exercise will help.. If you're sick or injured then yoga is always an obvious choice..
If all else fails.. Marijuana and kinky sex 🙂

Hope you get a handle on the situation PDQ

I was having a really shit couple of days, I decided I needed a trip away so organised to go to hobart riding next weekend and catch up with some good mates, then found a cheap flight to the UK... So I'm riding down there for the weekend then 3 weeks back in the UK, thats cheered me up a bit

Who do you think I am, Father Christmas?

Well, you made the distinction so it stands to reason you're able to spot the bad guys.

Obvious, really...

*shrugs*

aracer, how are you today?

Just logged in today and spotted this thread. I'm another one who can level with you having suffered from depression and anxiety most of my adult life. I still haven't found any answers and still get more bad days than good. Today included. It sounds cliché, but just go and do something that you know makes you feel good, no matter how big or small.

If you want to talk, get in touch away from this forum.

JulianA - Member
So many things going on in my life I wish Dignitas were more accessible.

Having had a family member make that trip in the last two weeks, I sincerely hope that is not the case.

Aracer - best wishes and hope you get through things. Sometimes this place helps and sometimes the opposite when it gets niggly. On the whole the former. I like Ernie's suggestions about where to look. Hope you feel better.

Thanks for all the thoughts, have been up and down (but fairly sure I'm not bipolar, by "up" I just mean mediocre as very aptly described), relatively OK today. Definite feeling of the back getting slightly better after weeks of little progress - thanks for the help ernie, good stuff (like many others with similar feelings I definitely have a tendency to slouch and look down), but it's definitely not triggered by the depression even if that isn't helping with the recovery, was the same very specific activity both times, something I've probably had some back pain from before, but never anything which has carried on into the next day.

[quote=yunki ]If all else fails.. Marijuana and kinky sex

Probably a good job I have no idea where to get the former, wish I knew where to get anything at all similar to the latter.

aracer, how's it going? Just thought I would check in.

If there's a swimming pool nearby try a regular swim, crawl or back crawl to strengthen your back (and almost everything else). No helpful suggestions for the other issues I'm afraid.

Aracer hope things pick up, ibuprofen and yoga manage my back ('ish good days and bad days...)

Yunki + 1,
although having a teenage son constantly fb'ing his girlfriend into the wee hours has impacted our sexlife let alone the kinky stuff.

Aracer - do you get ups and downs that fluctuate? Any periods when you feel overly energetic?