I know my limits. 8)
Nothing more than unwanted advances at work from quite a few female (and one male...) customers. One woman grabbed my hand and stuck it down her skirt!
Makes me sound like a stud but in reality I'm an odd looking short Welshman and the ones I attract are almost exclusively not attractive at all. I'd make a good piece of bait for a Japanese 'Scientific Survey' fishing boat, let's put it that way 
I think they think they sense desperation in me as I've been single a while. I don't have the heart to tell them the smell is chain lube and sealant 😆
Last year during lunch time circuit training a girl in her twenties (I was 45) said I had a nice bum and pinched it. Luckily we operate under the Armed Forces Discipline Act so I was able to call her out on the spot and stop her weekend leave. I actually felt like I might be overreacting but then considered how I'd feel if someone did that to my daughter in public.
Rohypnol'd by a Brazilian woman in a bar in new York in 2003. Thankfully my mate got me out of there
A ridiculously persistent girl I used to work with who couldn't understand why I was rejecting her. Got very uncomfortable.
Having many gay friends, numerous propositions when I've been in gay bars or clubs with them and having to let the potential suitor down gently and explain my preferred tendency didn't align with the current venue
Meanwhile, in China,
(Caveat, there's little reliable commentary to explain what's actually going on)
I saw a famous former page 3 model and reality tv star at a grocery store in Brighton. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.
She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “miss, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I decided to use a different till to avoid the awkwardness. As I left the shop she was outside. She began throwing the Milky Ways at me as she sang "Follow me follow me, breathe me in, swallow me" ... I hurried to my car and drove away as fast as I legally could!
❓
Was that a joke?
It was definitely something. Maybe just
[img] 
[/img]
Quote - "Last year during lunch time circuit training a girl in her twenties (I was 45) said I had a nice bum and pinched it. Luckily we operate under the Armed Forces Discipline Act so I was able to call her out on the spot and stop her weekend leave. I actually felt like I might be overreacting but then considered how I'd feel if someone did that to my daughter in public"
FFS, it's the end of the world as we know it.
As a man in your mid 40's,could you not just have been flattered that a young girl in her 20's has even noticed you exist?
As a woman in your mid 40's,could you not just have been flattered that a young man in his 20's has even noticed you exist?
Yes that works just as well 😕
Once had a girl offer me a sexual service rather than pay me the money she owed me.
I work with young adults, so it's kind of a threat/risk... Only had it once from work, I gave a student helper a lift home and got slightly jumped. So I pretty much booted her out of the car then phoned my boss at 11pm and went AAAARGH. Apparently it's kind of a rite of passage... But it's OK, I have this certificate that says that to the best of their knowledge, I am probably not a sexual wrongun.
Other'n that it's always been drunk dudes. Apparently I have a really nice arse.
Quote - "Last year during lunch time circuit training a girl in her twenties (I was 45) said I had a nice bum and pinched it. Luckily we operate under the Armed Forces Discipline Act so I was able to call her out on the spot and stop her weekend leave. I actually felt like I might be overreacting but then considered how I'd feel if someone did that to my daughter in public"FFS, it's the end of the world as we know it.
As a man in your mid 40's,could you not just have been flattered that a young girl in her 20's has even noticed you exist?
As Junkyard has pointed out, double standards don't help anyone. On top of that it was in front of a lot of people and as we were markedly different ranks any sort of reciprocation by myself would have undoubtedly resulted in me catching a good dose of career-ending repercussions. In short no.
Spot on, so many double standards all through this thread.
Edit.
Lots of times when I was young and fresh faced. Men usually.
I remember a skin2 party in 91 that was particularly eyeopening.
Not so much these days now I'm more potato faced.
A few LOL's in this thread!
And that makes me ashamed.
Unwanted sexual advances, once it goes beyond standard 'old as time' chatting up, not interested, move away - there is no acceptable:unacceptable boundary. If there's a boundary it's unacceptable:completely unacceptable.
Whether man on woman advances, boss on worker, teacher on pupil, - any of them, they're all unacceptable and a few of the ones described on here are horrific, I hope the victims are over them as best as they can be.
Unfortunately, and it does shame me my first impulse on the 'had my arse felt by a girl in a nightclub' or '26 year old teacher has sex with 15 year old schoolboy' is to think lucky sod - that impulse is just plain wrong and I'm calling myself and everyone else that responds the same out on it. Yes, I'm male and nearly 50 and it's somewhat ingrained, but we're exactly the people that have to change it, not continue to laugh.
I think the grouping of "unwanted" and "inappropriate" is inappropriate as the two are very different and distinct.
Unwanted is a simple reaction, inappropriate puts it in a social context. If I suggest whatever to Madame then the suggestion may be unwanted, but within the context of a marriage it's not inappropriate assuming the suggestion is within the realms of the Karma Sutra. However the same suggestion to a student would be both inappropriate and plain illegal.
If you go into a gay bay in a gay resort then what is inappropriate is on a different level to the office. I dance rock and roll and some moves mean putting hands where you normally wouldn't, as the names of the moves suggest, "la caresse" or "la chaise" for example. And even when it's allowed there are different ways of doing them, a finger left in contact a fraction of second too long and you've sent a signal you shouldn't have. The medical profession have do things that would be unacceptable in almost any context except treating injury or illness.
We spend our lives seducing people at different levels, it's a part of social acceptance and success. People like to be liked, like others to know they like them. The line between social seduction and sexual seduction is very fine. The art is to never over-step the mark, and some people are more skilled at the game than others.
In some situations you have have to maintain a respectable distance, extreme even. As a teacher I avoided being alone with a student, never shut a door, asked colleagues to be around, adopted a gruffer more fatherly behaviour than normal. In others the atmosphere is more relaxed and the point at which banter becomes harrassment isn't so clear.
Most people know the rules and play by them. If you look at the uncomfortable situations in this thread, the normal limits weren't respected. Not everyone is a perfect social animal. When an attempt at seduction included lifting a T-shirt I felt sorry for the woman in the moment because exposing yourself both physically and to possible social ridicule is high risk with little more chance of reward than more subtle and socially acceptable advances. I chose to deal with the situation tactfully and discretely but the answer was "no". A few years later the woman was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and has spent the rest of her life in and out of the place. A delightful person but a social misfit.
And what are the limits? They're variable. They vary from country to country, town to town, distrct to ditrict, from working class to toff, from the factory floor to the boardroom. As many contexts as there are codes as to what is and is not acceptable.
Including this forum which is about as reactionary and judgemental as any place I know.
So go easy on people, apply your own high standards to yourself, acccept that others are different, try to understand the whys and wherefores and have a good think about whether the person is potentially a serious threat to society (do something) or just someone with slightly different values (do nothing but keep your eyes and ears open).
Unwanted, though not inappropriate experience.
Wedding reception, several years ago. A very drunk and quite camp lad kept hanging about me. I chatted to him about normal stuff as you might, he kept touching my arm, slightly irritating. Unfortunately I knew no one at the party and so didn't really have an easy escape route as he became increasingly annoying. Later he intercepted me on a sofa and advanced to knee touching. Somewhere around [s]the oral sex part[/s] hair stroking I had to reiterate in very basic terms that I wasn't gay and wasn't interested and that he should stop wasting his time.
He was a little put out by this and stomped off in a bit of a drunken huff. By now he was utterly hammered. I managed to find an entertaining bridesmaid and an hour or so later made it back to my room.
Only to find him asleep in my bed!
Dunno how he got in there, don't think he even knew it was my room. I slept elsewhere, not because he was gay, but because he was a drunken sex pest.
(I have shared rooms with gay friends who are not sex pests, no probs)
's a good post, Edukator.
Don't take that to mean that I like you or anything, tho...
deleted
When I used to work behind the bar at the Hacienda, Bank Holiday weekends would host 'Flesh' all-nighters. It was the biggest gay night in the country. The level of debauchery was legendary even by the standards of Manchester's early 90's gay club scene. I have seen things that cannot be unseen
Anyway, there's this huge impeccably buffed man-mountain, sporting just a pair of Calvins - pretty standard outfit for Flesh. Every time he comes to the bar he makes sure it's me that serves him, and as he passes me the cash, he kept stroking my arm and smiling. All harmless enough.
Half way through the night I need a piss so nip to the bog. I'm stood there at the urinal, mid-stream, when I become aware of a large presence looming directly behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Mr Man-Mountain smiling down at me, and as I feel the mars-bar-in-the-back, his arms slide around my waist
My reaction was literally.....
[img] 
[/img]
To be honest, it didn't feel threatening, I assumed it was just chemically-enhanced over-affection
None the less it caused much hilarity as I came sprinting back behind the bar in a state of panic, not least with my then-girlfriend. I hid every time he came to the bar after that, and point blank refused to go out into the club for the rest of the night
If he'd been pressing a sausage roll into your back it would have all ended very differently.
Greggs?
Greggs?
sounds like he didn't stop for a name
Greggs are typically small, flaccid and pink.
If you're commited to voluntarily taking a shit backwards ... then at least go big? 😯
[img] 
[/img]
#brexitdiet
A medical graduate's career is in ruins after he was convicted of indecently assaulting a woman he met on Tinder by grabbing her breasts during consensual sex.Philip Queree, 37, was taken to court for repeatedly grabbing the woman's breasts hard and pulling her hair while the couple had intercourse.
[url= http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/11/medical-graduate-put-sex-offenders-register-grabbing-tinder/ ]interesting reminder about the limitations of consent, and the serious ramifications.
[/url] I'm a bit uneasy as to whether the sex offenders register is appropriate.
I'm a bit uneasy as to whether the sex offenders register is appropriate.
Reading the details, I think it probably is TBH.
interesting reminder about the limitations of consent, and the serious ramifications.
I'm a bit uneasy as to whether the sex offenders register is appropriate.
Well as long as the punishment fits the crime...
I'm a bit uneasy as to whether the sex offenders register is appropriate.
Why? She specifically asked him not to do something (of a sexual nature) and he went ahead and did it - hard enough to leave bruising.
I was out last weekend with some workmates. Later on in a noisy pub one of the party comes right up to me to say she finds herself attracted to me.
I'm not going to lie, she's very attractive and it was nice to hear. I explained that I appreciated what she was saying but that it was a bit inappropriate given her long term relationship and mine. Me being her manager and the fact that we were in full view of everyone it probably wasn't for the best.
I moved away but she wasn't for giving up rubbing her tits up against me etc trying to hold my hand touching me.
If I had done that to her I'd be in bother.
If I had done that to her I'd be in bother.
She could be if you went to HR, but of course if you'd done it there'd also be the issue of you being her boss.
If I had done that to her I'd be in bother.
Did anyone witness her behaviour? I'd be hoping someone did.
perchypanther - Member
If he'd been pressing a sausage roll into your back it would have all ended very differently.POSTED 2 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST
giantalkali - Member
Greggs?
Greggs are typically small, flaccid and pink.
really should be leaving nobeer out of it, he hasn't contributed since leaving me face down on the top bunk a few pages back... 🙂
I'm handing my notice in this week, not because of last weekends antics but Id be lying if I said I wasn't glad to be getting away from her. Its becoming difficult.
Everyone saw how she was behaving, including my boss, a woman. She started by asking me if I would go to salsa dancing with her as her partner wasnt interested. I explained its not really appropriate. She touches my bum/back puts her arm in my arm on the way to the pub. I extricate myself, it continues in the pub..
She was drunk and is unhappy with her lot and fancies a bit of excitement which is fine. Im not making out Im a victim here btw, Im a big boy. I just mean had the boot been on the other foot it could have ended very differently.
Its just not seen or accepted the same way, when a woman makes unsolicted sexual advances towards a man.
In a written judgment, magistrate Bridget Shaw said: "I am sure that Miss X withdrew consent for Queree to grab her breasts."Queree knew this but continued to do so forcefully[after she asked him to stop], causing the complainant considerable pain[ enough to make her cry]. This was an assault. Queree touched a sexual and intimate part of her body in a sexual manner without her consent.
"Irrespective of her consent to other sexual conduct, I am sure that the touching was in circumstances of indecency and thus Queree is guilty of indecent assault."
The court heard that the woman made a complaint to police as a result of bruising she suffered to both breasts.
I have no idea how anyone can think this is not sexual assault she clearly did not consent and he clearly did not stop.
Merak, why you are going into the same pub as her I have no idea. Walking there with her is madness. Either you're trolling or need to take control of your life and cut her out of it once you're out of the office.
[i]Have you ever been the victim of an inappropriate sexual advance[/i]
it's essentially how me and her got together. 😆
Just read all four pages and one word keeps repeating in my head.
"mott" LOL
Yes
But then everyone in the 80's was a peado weren't they.
Never should have walked back from Scouts late at night in the dark on my own.
Hey ho , shit happens.
Yes
But then everyone in the 80's was a peado weren't they.
Never should have walked back from Scouts late at night in the dark on my own.
We had a scoutmaster who was a bit 'funny'. Apparently, his thing was for tickling boys feet. In the end, he tried it with one lad who gave him a bloody nose and reported him. I think this was back when presumably working with kids was a little more relaxed when it came to background checks etc.
At my secondary school it was standard for teachers to be dating sixth formers (early 1980s). By the time I'd gone to university I think there were three male staff, and one female who'd been caught in various levels of abuse. The worst was the psychopatic swimming teacher who used to spray ice cold water up your back as you swam lengths. The music teacher was reknowned for having young boys sit on his lap to learn to play the piano. He also used to invite groups of teenagers around his house to drink.
Really sad to read some of the genuine assaults, and then in typical STW fashion also some genuine lol moments.
Played a lot of tennis as a kid. Playing a tournament at the Northumberland County Ground one year (I'd be about 15) one of my pals invited me to play real tennis at the nearby school grounds. Coach there was an obvious weirdo and started asking lots of 'what's your sexual experience' questions and was way too touchy feely with my pal. Thought it all a bit weird and inappropriate but managed to ignore him or palm him off. Two years later and this is front page news in Newcastle and the guys a paedo / sexual predator and went down for a chunk of time for all sorts of weird sexual stuff with teenage kids.
First week at Dundee Uni and it's Freshers Week and Gaudie Night where a girl from the year above takes you out on the piss. Long story short, the hot girl female tennis captain dropped me in it last minute and I got taken out on the piss by a 'less bonny' lass. Lots of booze and cocktails and the last thing I can remember is crawling up the steps to my room with her in tow with me absolutely paralytic. I wake up naked with her naked on top straddling me...trying to stuff my flaccid cock inside of her unsuccessfully. Definitely not consensual but obviously able to laugh it off as harmless.
Has JHJ resurfaced with a better explanation of his OP?
I spent a bit of time working on a dementia ward. On the upside it's nice that there is somewhere I can go and still get called 'young man' On the downside those old ladies can be a bit handsy.
Got groped in a club once- I assume by a man. Someone grabbed my bolx and walked off quickly, I was so off my head I didnt see them!
Whilst Eurorailing an American girl got onto my top bunk with me and started trying to shag me- I was drunk/asleep and really didnt know what was going on! I said "what are you doing, get off" or something like and blocked her advances. I likely would have been up for it if she'd asked me nicely!
Back in the 90's when I still worked in the music industry, Jimmy Somerville quite forcibly offered me a blow job when we were doing coke in the toilets - let's just say he's not a "small town boy". Does that count? I refused, always wondered wether I should of said yes as a massive ex communards fan?
I work in a pub.
Always inappropriate, often unwanted.
And frequent.
You realise you have crossed the great divide from young and hot when you no longer get that sort of attention.
That's when any flirtatious remark you make becomes an unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance.
I had an interesting reverse sexual harassment once. I was working in ITU where its either very busy or really boring. During one of the boring times I was asked by one of my female colleagues to walk across the room and turn around - I did then realised 4 of them where looking at my bum making lewd comments. I walked back over to them and told them very forcefully how inappropriate it was, asked how they would have felt if the roles and been reversed and threatening them with being reported. I went absolutely ballistic. The shock on their faces as they realised what they had done was actually quite funny.
I didn't take it any further but all 4 of them would have been disciplined had I done so. However the look of shock and realisation on their faces was enough for me.
Has JHJ resurfaced with a better explanation of his OP?
I can't go into too much detail, but suffice to say, everyone's responses here highlight that it is something that happens with both genders, though for whatever reason, there does seem to be an inherent difference as to how it's handled.
Now I'm no prude... I've had my gubbins groped in the street by a little bloke in Nicaragua (not a euphemism) a Ladyboy on Bangkok, and multiple drunken ladies back when I was a rickshaw rider; there was even one time when 3 pink PVC clad glamour models were trying to stick their fingers up my bum before getting their paps out for the paps when we pulled up to glitzy London nightspot China White. I think back on these situations and think it's kinda funny; it doesn't feel particularly abusive.
However, some of the situations that have developed as a result of the matters mentioned in the 1st post do feel highly abusive. I've tried time and again to remedy things and have been repeatedly fobbed off and scapegoated, when at the end of the day, it wasn't even me who set these things in motion.
The best outcome would be to settle these matters amiably, as there's far too much bad shit going on in the world as it is.
nope, none the wiser.
fatmax"but managed to ignore him or palm him off."
must... resist....
"but managed to ignore him or palm him off."
Beyond the cheap gags, another spin on out of context quotes...
No doubt many victims in abusive situations are ignored, stonewalled, gaslighted and all the rest of it; perhaps it gives the abuser some kind of twisted power trip. Not that great for instilling trust or cohesion though...
when 3 pink PVC clad glamour models were trying to stick their fingers up my bum before getting their paps out for the paps when we pulled up to glitzy London nightspot China White.
[img] 
[/img]
I wake up naked with her naked on top straddling me...trying to stuff my flaccid cock inside of her unsuccessfully. Definitely not consensual but obviously able to laugh it off as harmless.
You have been the victim of attempted rape.
It’s interesting to contrast this thread with the #MeToo thread.
This is glaring evidence that the problem of harassment and abuse is neither gender specific nor equally treated.
To all the men on here who have been brave enough to post their experiences I salute you.
geetee1972 - Member
It’s interesting to contrast this thread with the #MeToo thread.This is glaring evidence that the problem of harassment and abuse is neither gender specific nor equally treated.
As you are keen to use the stats, compare it to the mumsnet one the forum is full of blokes - I think even the womens saddles/clothes threads are mostly populated by blokes.
Nobody is denying that there is a problem with harassment and abuse of men at all. But to say the problems are equal is just untrue, the number of people who have posted #MeToo on social media shows how massive the problem is.
Given the number of times the words get used to it or learn to deal with it come from women it shows just how big the problem is. Also the way the world is still run by men, powerful positions are still mostly held by men and casual sexism is alive and well all over the place along with misogyny women face a huge up hill struggle still in what is supposed to be an enlightened time.
Blimey, I do hope Hannah of Singletrack towers isn't tied up in this in some way or another... the pinkie pic on the front page makes me wonder mind.
Still, could be worse, the Michael Jackson doc, not to mention the Child Abuse Inquiry hearings into Westminster abuse this week make me realize how lucky I am.
Nice timing Jive.
When I think back on it, I think I was sexually interfered with by a school teacher. To this day I wonder whether I should do something about it (it happened some 37 years ago and I don’t know if he is still alive).
Holy thread resurrection batman.
1 lady who flashed her tits at me at Centre Parks when I was about 12. 1 blonde German teacher with huge tits who made a thing of bending right over to talk to us during lessons or detention. 1 shoulder rub by a female manager when I was doing part time supermarket work when I was 16. 1 groping in a club by a fat chick. 1 incident of a MILF trying to get me to go along to a club at someones party and rubbing her feet up and down my legs from the opposite side of the table when I was 17. 1 woman who dragged me away from another lady whilst dancing during freshers. Another one recently gave me a shoulder rub out of the blue in a bar.
Many years ago I was on holiday in a little village in south Devon, the folks had a touring caravan and the caravan site had static vans and a few touring and camping pitches, along with a small social ’club’ with a bar. I wasn’t old enough to use it, so I used to hang out in the conservatory area which had a jukebox with tables and chairs. One day I was sitting listening to the ‘box, and this girl comes in and sits nearby, and we get talking. Next I know she’s plonked herself on my lap with her arms round my neck!
We spent the rest of the holiday together, nearly two weeks, and things got, shall we say, fairly intimate.
It was a bit of a shock, in one of her letters, when she let slip she was three years younger than me...
Only a few times (beyond old paedos following me around the local park), wholly unpleasant.
Must be much worse for women.
Show me a women that hasn't.
*trigger warning* Yes, on several occasions. I saw my first flasher when I was 8, the second was when I was 12. I really couldn't recall all the the times someone's made unsolicited advances, like the stranger who was stood behind me and decided to put his hand down my top.
I do remember the first time a guy attempted abduct me from a busy street, I presume it was to rape me and the time another guy was successful
Mmmmm, some of these posts have had me laughing, some have got me thinking.....and more to the point, remembering....
When I was teenager, i was pretty good on the road bike (and the track for that matter....MTB's hadn't been invented) and as a result I rode for a sponsored club and was quite well known around the area. I was encouraged to work with a coach.....and I guess you know already where this is going
Said coach was VERY well known, worked with pros, etc, etc
I have never told anyone about my experience and I would find it very hard to open up to anyone about it but let's just say I have memories that I find disturbing....he didn't actually do anything in terms of touching...but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was a paedophile and if it wasn't for the fact that my dad was always in the room next door, he would have.
The thing is, he is still revered...and although he is now no longer with us, I still see stories about him and feel sick to the stomach; wanting to shout out to the people who hold him in such high regard and to be this wonderful person, that he wasn't...but that's so hard to do...
Both of you, aweeshoe and velocipede - I am so bloody sorry that you had to go through that. How utterly, utterly shit. 😥
Bangkok airport circa 1995. Arrived very early for my flight home - had hours to kill. After a while of sitting around a security guard came up and asked my if I wanted to check my rucksack in. Great thank you. After bag disappears he said ‘I’m finishing in half an hour and ten perhaps you come back to mine?’ Hmmmmm great! I say no and it’s 30 years in the Bangkok Hilton? Ok see you later. I was wearing a bright red tee shirt. So into shop - black tee shirt and hat. His in the bogs until flight. Never been so scared. Rucksack was fine but did wonder if something was going to be ‘found’ in it.
On holiday in Woolacoombe, Stood outside a shop waiting for Mrs cloudnine who was shopping (obviously).. Just standing around holding the dog.. some really fit lady walks up to me, grabs my bum and asks me to come to her house for sex. Nervously giggled and declined politely.
@wallop Thanks, you've expressed more compassion than my friend did at the time. The incidents were bad enough but it's my friends reactions that scarred
There used to be a lab manager at work who used to fondle my bum and so on, a woman aged about 55. It was no more than an irritation so I mostly ignored it until the day she pinched my bum following me up the stairs and in annoyance I turned round and snapped at her. She never tried it again.
I've had two incidents in my lifetime, but, the scariest was the night before I started a new job, I'd hopped on the bus to go the 6 miles to meet a mate so we could go for a few quiet sherberts at his local, after a little while, a couple of girls wandered across and we started a conversation, I recognised one of them, but couldn't think of where from or even her name. But we were getting in fine and a few minutes later, I went to out the back to "drain the tatties" while my mate continued to crack on to the girls. I arrived back and we carried on, about 30 minutes later, I started to feel ill, suddenly, I just puked up and can't remember much after that. According to the barstaff, my mate did exactly the same, the wanted to call an ambulance, but one of the girls said, "I know where they live, so I'll take them home.
Several hours later, I woke up and slowly became aware that I was naked and rather cool, it was dark, I had no idea of the time, as my watch had gone or where I was. I struggled to get to my feet and staggered about looking for my clothes and any clue as to where I was, after wandering for several minutes, I found my jeans, put them on and felt my pockets, empty. I kept wandering for a while, I've no idea of how long, but noted it was getting lighter, eventually, I started to realise that it was June and it gets light very early, I guessed it must be 3-4am, in the distance, I heard the sound of the odd vehicle, so tried to make my way in that direction. Eventually, I got to the road and tried to flag down a couple of cars, I succeeded at the third attempt, luckily, I was a guy who was going shooting and was heading to a farm. He gave me a hot coffee from his flask and the conversation on how I got to where I was started. It turned out, I was some 15 miles from home and somewhere I'd never been or a road I'd not been on. Instead of going shooting, he took me home, I put some clothes on and we had a coffee. We exchanged details, I thanked him, gave him, £20 for his help, which he refused and he went on his way. (we still communicate to this day and do go for a drink now and then).
I went for a shower, had another coffee, fell asleep, waking up and noticed it was 9.30am, I was supposed to be at work for 8am. I quickly called the boss, apologised and told him what I could remember from the previous night, luckily, he was very understanding, told me to take the full day off and start on the Tuesday morning. I called my mate, but his mother answered the phone and she went off on one with me as he hadn't returned home, this made me panic and I started having flashbacks, I asked her to call me when he returned so we could put our heads together and try and work out what happened. I must have fallen asleep again and was woken by the phone ringing, it was just gone midday and my mate had just got home, wearing only his trousers. He'd been woken up by some cows nosing him and peeing near his head, he was naked and wandered about looking for his clothes like me. His wife had been very angry and suspicious, but agreed that as we'd both been through the same ordeal, we couldn't have intended to do it or control what happened. My mate had been left in a field a couple of miles from me, it frightened him so much, that apart from going to work, he went nowhere else for several weeks.
I went back to the pub in the early evening to enquire as to what had happened, a couple of members of staff had been working when the incident had happened and informed me of what had occurred, what they told me really scared me and we all though that the girls had spiked our drinks. I apologised and thanked the staff, then went to see my mate, he was still in bed, but his mother woke him and after a shower, I informed him of what the pub staff had told me. Neither of us knew if we'd been sexually interfered with or what had gone on, but we were both just happy to be alive.
In those days, pubs didn't have CCTV, so there was no footage to look at, therefore no evidence, it took us a while, but we managed to out it behind us. It's over 30 years since it happened and I still have the occasional flashback when I'm asleep, but none of it makes sense.
Since then, I've been and still am very very careful of where I go for a drink and never go to the toilet, leaving a drink on the bar.
A word of warning to all, be careful.
Hope I haven't bought back any bad memories with this thread... though I guess sometimes it's better to get things off your chest and maybe, just maybe it's a wakeup call for a problem that is all too often brushed aside.
@wallop Thanks, you’ve expressed more compassion than my friend did at the time. The incidents were bad enough but it’s my friends reactions that scarred
Can very much relate to that aweeshoe, reactions that may seem harmless enough to begin with can really grate over time.
@jivehoneyjive No worries, and like you say "it's better to get things off your chest..." I've certainly learned from what I've read above
Many times. First by a teenage girl when I was four 'comparing bits', next when I was 14 I was a KP and regularly had the bosses mum run her hands up my legs and feel my bum. Then several occasions being felt up on bum and balls in pubs and clubs by women and men. The last one was outside a gig a few years ago when q stubbly fat dude tried to snog me.
I'm not that bothered. For a 6'6" skinny dude I've got a really nice bum.
Can you please clear up a point about your mate @cyclingwilly
called my mate, but his mother answered the phone and she went off on one with me as he hadn’t returned home
His wife had been very angry and suspicious, but agreed that as we’d both been through the same ordeal
Was your mate unfortunate enough to live with his mother?
when I was 14 I was a KP
That’s just nuts.
Kitchen Porter.
