[Closed] Have we covered depression, self doubt and crippling anxiety lately?

when i was in my first year of GCSE's i really hit a wall, thinking that the next few months were what determined the rest of my life, really didn't like being around anyone and couldnt get any energy to do anything and even got to a point where depression seriously hit.

then came a point where i blurted out in a class and open up to a teacher about it all and got given the whole "it's not just you going through this" thing.

i went to see someone about it and they got me to write down the things that i really enjoyed and took my mind off of it. cycling came out on top and that's what i've done ever since. so when i feel stuck in a rut, I get out on the bike and let loose.

never feel like your not good enough, your family will just be happy with your presence and will be happy with whatever you do.

kids dont care about income or goals, they care about playing with their dad and curly wurlys.

get out and enjoy the little things and don't worry about things you cant change.

chin up man...

You have made the biggest and hardest step by admitting you have a problem. The recovery starts here.

[url= http://www.mind.org.uk/ ]Mind is a great place to start[/url]. I would also be looking into CBT, lots of private councillors are accessible too. Sadly, waiting times for NHS help are very long.

Good luck.

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way, my missus went through something similar and had exactly the same prescription and counselling your doctor has suggested for you - this was about 2 years ago and is starting to come off the anti-depressants now.
At the start one thing that really helped her was [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Depressive-Illness-Strong-Overcoming-Problems/dp/1847092357 ]this book[/url]. If you are a reader maybe it could help you too?
Hope everything works out for you, I know everyone is different but the drugs, counselling and getting an understanding of stress/depression/anxiety really had made a huge difference to my other half.
RM.

I think its possible to overthink this and get yourself into a darker place than is necessary. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, I am just suggesting that the power of positive thinking can help more than any pills or counselling.

When the darkness descends, focus on the light (positive, happy thoughts) and hopefully it will become a habit for you. (if thats no help....sorry!)

At work, so can't write much. But sounds like you could have clinical depression. It's a treatable illness.
Meds can help, if you find the right ones. But also - in my own experience - more sleep, less booze, better eating and actively trying to give less of a **** about things were also very important. I've wasted too much of my life stressing and obsessing.
Also, you are certainly not alone. It's a common disease. You will probably find a sympathetic audience here.

I know lots of people who have taken citalopram. I seem to recall it takes a while to really have a noticeable effect but I have seen some really positive results with it.

He prescribed me Citalopram

Awesome drug, saved my life about 7 years ago. To be honest I've been on it (low dose) ever since and I'm much happier and nicer for it. My low level angst (which I've had all my life) just goes away.

I seem to recall it takes a while to really have a noticeable effect

They used to say SSRIs took a few weeks to work, but more recent studies have shown a measurable difference in cognitive response after a few hours.

Personally I found it had a huge affect in just a few days, I went from about 1 hr sleep a night (walking zombie) to sleeping 5-6 hours in a few days. Took a few months to get back to normal.

Been there and 18months on I still am but on the mend. Just because the symptoms aren't visible to the naked eye, doesn't mean they don't exist. Certainly don't underestimate the harm that anxiety and bad stress can do to your body & mind but at least you've acknowledged its presence. Depression/anxiety has nothing to do with being weak in body or mind so don't beat yourself up. Taken some proper time out from work if need be. Talk to your friends & family and be as open as you can. I ignored my "issues" and they came back to bite me big time with CFS 18months on. Now I'm having therapy. I was prescribed citalopram early and it really kicked my arse. Took for 6 months and it turned me into a sleeping zombie. I gave up with it, but I'm sure it helped me get back on an even keel of sorts.

Sounds rough OP.
However:
Most important thing to remember is this is [i]mental[/i] illness in that there's nothing actually wrong with you - it's just your thoughts that are out of whack - and thoughts can be changed - CBT generally reckoned to be the best proven treatment that we know of... highly recommended IME.

A couple of very positive points in your favour:
1. You've recognised you have a problem and you've asked for, and received help - that's a really important step. Over the years I've had quite a few close friends suffer from episodes of depression and those that have come through it accepted they had a problem and took responsibility for it - as you are.
2. Your other half is clearly understanding and supportive - another really important aspect of your situation
3. It's much more socially accepted than it used to be - which means there's more info available and more understanding.

I can recommend this book as being a good starting point as well as CBT:

[url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336 ]Feeling Good[/url]

I can also recommend staying clear of alchohol and junk food - eat really healthily, get lots of sleep and get out on your bike as much as you can - endorphins and dopamine are ace 🙂

good post - I feel the same way most of the time! For me a lot comes down to self control / self discipline. I know what makes me feel worse and what makes me feel better but 9 times out of 10 I do the wrong thing!

Appreciate the responses, folks.

I've got a feeling this is going to be the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with. :/

I've suffered wit this on and off over the years (yesterday's anxiety was particularly crippling)

I don't like to recommend pharmaceutical intervention, but after a harrowing split with my partner last winter I had to do something or else I was going to go under..

I took anti-depressants for a few months and it was enough to get me back on my feet and discover what lifestyle changes I needed to make, and it gave me the courage to make those changes

I've got a feeling this is going to be the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with

Quite possibly. I used to see it as a fight with yourself as the enemy becomes your 'out of control' subconscious. Part of the reason I got so ill was I stubbornly refused to change my life to avoid the issues causing me stress / anxiety and thought I could fight it and 'defeat them'. But in effect that means fighting yourself, an equally matched opponent, which isn't going to work. In the end I was forced to quit my job (that or die), but I was so ill by then that it took months and months to recover any sort of normality. I look back on it all as a good lesson in life, but not a very pleasant one.

cbma - Member
Because I'm going through it right now for no real reason that I can pinpoint, and it would be good to know that I'm not the only one who's ever felt like this.

Rest assured you are not alone. Going through something similar myself although waning a bit for last few weeks.

On paper, I don't really have anything significant to worry about, other than the normal day to day stuff that everyone deals with. I work 3 days a week in a super stable job that I enjoy and that's going well. The rest of the week I'm self employed and that's doing ok too. I have an amazing partner. My baby daughter turns 1 this weekend. I've got two older kids who live with us more than half the week, and they're happy and balanced and doing very well at school.
But I'm down. Really down. And I don't know why.

The not knowing can be troubling in itself. It can become a self-perpetuating cycle too.

I feel sick with worry. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including the kids. And I'm absolutely terrified of the future. And all for no real reason. It's weird.

I would be quite assured that you are not letting people down. It may seem weird but right now even if it isn't true - it's how you feel so isn't stupid or crazy.

Throughout my life, I've always been the most laid back one in whatever group of friends I'm with, but I think the last few years have only just caught up with me and I'm feeling battered. I'll not go into details, but from my perspective at least, I've had a pretty tough time.

And there we likely have at least part of the reason in one way or another. I had a breakdown a couple of years ago and when I realised all I had been through it was hardly surprising. Perhaps it's similar for you.

My other half persuaded me to visit the doc's last week, and right on cue I broke down in the surgery. He prescribed me Citalopram and a course of counselling,

Both can help. Citalopram may take a couple of weeks to kick in, but it can give you breathing space and the energy to put into counselling. There are often local charities that can provide counselling really rapidly.

Maybe it's the side effects of the first few days on this medication? Maybe not. Either way, I could do with hearing some success stories right now.

The medication will take a little time but it will help. Counselling can be a big help - I found integrative counselling very helpful. After my breakdown and even through my current recurrence, through taking timely action I have been able to function. These feelings will pass and you will find a way to deal with them with some assistance. You will be ok in the long run - you just have to hang in there for a little while.

cbma, I went through pretty much exactly the same thing several years ago and, after breaking down at the GPs, got given Citalopram as well. 18 months later I came off them a completely different person. Normal if you like.

My mum said that, even after a short while, it was like having her little boy back again instead of the angry person I had been for a long time. It does work, it just takes time.

If you are anywhere near Cambridge and want a chat, drop me a line.

Cbma. I'm based in Brum if you are in the Midlands and need to talk to someone.

If you are anywhere near Cambridge and want a chat, drop me a line.

Cbma. I'm based in Brum if you are in the Midlands and need to talk to someone.

Thanks guys. I'm waay North of you both, but appreciate the offers.

Couldn't be more welcome - take care dude!

I've rocked that particular dream. There's no quick cure for this one. Once you've realised you're not firing on all synapses then you can start to recognise when certain nerve endings are bringing you down. Once you know the signs, you can tell your thoughts to go fudge themselves in the harris with a garden gnome.
As much as I didn't like it at the time, riding helped. Riding at night REALLY helped. I'm in the NW if you fancy a spin.

TRH

EDIT: I only used CBT via the docs. Worked well for me.

As others have said, you're not alone. I didn't go the pharmaceutical route as I didn't feel it was bed enough but I got some online CBT via my GP, which was sort of useful but not amazing. That, plus a few books (like the Chimp Paradox), helped me to put some coping mechanisms in place, but the main help was acknowledging that there was an issue, talking to my wife about it and letting a few people at work know.

Got diagnosed with severe anxiety last year. The diagnosis alone lifted a massive weight off my shoulders as the underlying condition had manifested itself in a variety of different ways, which just created more worries.

I went for CBT which was a massive help. As someone who is the classic strong, silent type, verbalising my problems has never been my strong point, but even I was shocked at how easy I opened up to an absolute stranger in the counselling sessions. Over the weeks, just talking freely really helped me identify and understand my issues. I think I had about 3 months of weekly CBT.

On to of that I was prescribed 50mg of Sertraline. I wasn't sure how impactful that was until I came off them late last year. Over time my anxieties came back and although the CBT techniques helped, I definitely missed the Sertraline so I'm back on it again. Apart from the initial two weeks which are pretty horrible (a constant urge to break down crying in the middle of the street, massive swings of emotion) I have no side effects at all and once I get beyond the initial bit it's fine.

So, in summary, talking to someone and medication were both excellent for me.

Been there myself, couple of years ago. The responses above demonstrate 2 things:
These issues are a whole lot more common than many realise, and thank goodness some of the stigma is going.
There are people on here who are offering some very good advice - great to see a really supportive on-line community sharing to help you thru bad times.
6 months on Citalopram got me on an even keel, and was fortunate that my employer was sympathetic to my predicament. Things better now, and understand myself a whole lot better, having spent years in denial. Aware of the triggers and able to actively manage to pre-empt another melt-down situation.
Good luck.

sorry for the short response, at work and don't want to get shot by the web nazi's...
I/ we have just been through this with my wife and she has suffered very similar experiences to yourself, it is sometimes really hard to "see" or understand for others external to the sutiation and to a large extent it was very difficult for my wife to understand and see what was happening to her.
The doctors is the right place to start and there are other places like Mind to get support help and a better understanding.
For my wife it seems to be a combination of habit, outlook as well as chemical levels but I am sure every case would be different with it's own triggers.
She is now going through CBT as well as seeing a counseller and is on the lowest level of medication, this is all very very recent for us and the one thing that has struck me is how quickly things can unravel and also how fragile mental health can be.
The medication had very negative effects on her anxiety at first and made me incredibly worried for her - panic attacks at night, lots of end of teather tears and such negative throughts and feelsings - however once over the initial very difficult start it is making a huge difference.
So much of the above info is spot on and mental illness should have no stigma just because it can't be seen.
You are letting nobody down at all and you are doing 100% the right thing by seaking assistance. be proud to stand up move forwards.
Be strong, make sure you take the time to see the good in the world around you, the smiles in crowds, the changes int he great outdoors, happiness from the family and friends, the ripping single track...
Sleep for us is also a keep component, so eat well exercise well and make time to relax but try and not sit and dwell on stuff.
Look forward to a happier healthier future 🙂

I have not suffered myself as discussed above but if you need anything I can help with please do feel free to send me a message.

Yip. I usually manage mine with huge amounts of exercise. However, having a gubbed knee is meaning that I'll be going back onto either citalopram or mirtazapine for a while.

I suffered a breakdown also and got myself stuck in an anxiety disorder.

As others have said its the cycle that keeps it alive, you consciously trying to stop it by carrying out rituals, questioning, listening in to thoughts which feeds the anxiety/depression.

However its curable and im fine now.

Some good books for you is anything by dr claire weekes.

OP you are bored. You need a new focus or direction.

Citalopram from experience can make you feel worse to start with, just stick with it, and the effects will pass - needs about 6 weeks,

palmer77 - Member
Interesting read this one, I has prompted me to think quite a bit especially with regard to myself.
I have anxiety disorder resulting in depression and OCD, this is caused by a number of things; brain chemistry, genetic predisposition and environmental factors. It's something that has only been formally diagnosed in the last year, but looking back I believe I have been affected by this much of my adult life. I know that I am not an easy person to live with, but I truly appreciate the love and ongoing support of my wife and family, without it I am not certain I would be here today.
I am working through it, I was taking Sertraline which is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) but it made my face numb. I am now taking Venlafaxine which is a Serotonin Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor (SNRI). In addition to this I am also undertaking Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to develop coping strategies.
The medication, whilst I was against it initially (thinking I could sort myself out) has been invaluable in getting to a place where I can think clearly. The CBT has been equally as important by providing a safe environment to challenge my negative thoughts. I have other things that help, exercise, music and the outdoors. Despite this, I have good days and bad days.
What I will say is that when I am low, withdrawn or simply unable to cope I behave in a frightened irrational manner. Thankfully this happens less now thanks to the above treatment and support, but I am unsure if it will ever go away fully. At the very least I am now in a position to openly acknowledge my difficulties, and show my appreciate for those who continue to love and support me.
POSTED 7 MONTHS AGO #

I posted this a while ago as you can see. What I would add is that I definitely have a component of SAD attached to my difficulties. I'm still on the meds, and use a lamp also but this time of year knocks the stuffing out of me. I've decided I cannot do another winter in this country and am looking for options abroad. Incidentally has anyone found herbal remedies useful? I can't take any on the meds I'm currently on, but am considering reducing/stopping this for an alternative. I find with the prescribed drugs that they plateau. I have heard good things about 5 HTP...

I believe that the majority (if not all) of cases of depression are caused by problems stemming from the digestive tract. In recent years the guts have become know as the 'second brain' within the body and their true importance is now gradually coming to light.

I would recommend that you buy this book:

[url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gut-Psychology-Syndrome-Depression-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028 ]Gut and Psychology Syndrome [/url]

Some of it might seem hard to swallow at first but only need to Google it in order to see there's a lot of different voices that are all starting to shout the same things.

How much alcohol do you drink and how many days do you have off it?

Did you/do you take recreational drugs or smoke weed?

Need more info

Sounds like a very similar situation to mine about 6 months ago. I've been taking citalopram since then and there has been a marked improvement, not cured but finding I give less of a shot when things do go pear shaped.

I've pinpointed most of my issues to a job that doesn't challenge me or provide any career prospects for the dumbest of reasons. Other than that, a batshit mother who did a poor job.

All I can say is it does get better

There is a way out but there isn't a simple cure. For me it was counselling first which helped until I slipped back into old patterns, then the doctor with a breakdown just like you, citalopram which didn't seem to do much good but it didn't do much bad either, then some self funded CBT, joined a depression group to share experiences which really helped, tried mindfulness meditation which also seems effective and am finally feeling like I can look the world in the eye again. Fwiw my counselling started in 2007, citalopram in 2012, symptoms (looking back with clear eyes) in the 90s if not before.

Depression is horrible, its not something that can easily be understood if you've never lived it, but it is just an illness that can be beaten.

Op - I'm with you every step of the way.

And if you're a reader try "Depressive illness the curse of the strong" by Chris cantopher(?) You'll wonder how he read your mind.

There was a brilliant article by Tom Hill in an STW a good few issues which helped me, too. (I think cycling attracts a certain 'type'.)

As everyone has said, there's a lot of experience here and you'll get good advice (provided you ignore hora obviously...)

Try contacting an NLP consultant and see if you click then if you can find the energy to work with it consistently practising excercises, that should help balance the negative thought process that inevitably is caused by being "down".

Build and strengthen positive neuro pathways - synapses.

Hopefully this will aid you through the rough patches and outweigh the negatives of depression.
It literally works quick but be prepared to open up to a degree and dedicate as much concentration to doing excercises.
It should be and will be tailored to your individual needs.

Stick with it if you do go for Neuro Linguistic Programming as this will be an excellent coping strategy(s) method(s) to use.

All the best! 🙂

mum has anxiety and panic attacks. she takes Citalopram, has has taken clobazam (not a nice one, v addictive) she has triggers, learned behaviour that sends her into a spiral, she's learned with CTB to avoid the triggers, and acknowledge that they happen, and what they do. It helps that Dad is there TBH.

Good luck, talk to people, make those who love you aware of what's happening to you.

X

Mine started here: http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/counselling-where-to-go

I tried anti depressants and came off then when I started paying for counselling. I could have waited but that'd meant taking something. I paid 70-90 an hour (a lot of money to me) but it really really helped me. Personally- to me that route worked.

It wasnt a great time.

I went through a properly shit time a while back, still not really better... I have nothing constructive to add though other than a bit of solidarity. Best of luck!

Awareness of your thought process is important to then correct and feel a weight lifted bit by bit.

Sounds odd at first but is a cery simple technique I found to talk a negative if it arised to a positive.

Think of your mind as a weighted scales, your wanting to balance if not outweighthe negatives.

Jamz - Member
I believe that the majority (if not all) of cases of depression are caused by problems stemming from the digestive tract.

I chalk mine up to my tyrannical mother and her approach to parenting...

There's a lot to take in here. Thanks dudes.

For the record I don't smoke, rarely drink these days, eat healthily (nothing processed or fried) apart from the odd curry, so diet's not an issue.

I used to do a 20 mile round trip commute every day but have struggled since the baby arrived because of logistics getting her to nursery and back. I need to try and pick that up again somehow.

I can completely identify with the winter weather/seasonal thing too. I've never felt great in the winter, but have never felt this bad. We actually had a day of sun last week and that felt amazing! I guess that tells a story - I've always felt I'd be happier somewhere with a better climate.

I'll check out some of those books tonight. Appreciate the recommendations. 🙂

OP, I sympathyize with you. There are times when I'm in a very dark place.
One book that helped me was this

[img][URL= http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums/ag270/iolotraws/prozac_zpsdxbzkhvr.jp g" target="_blank">http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums/ag270/iolotraws/prozac_zpsdxbzkhvr.jp g"/> [/IMG][/URL][/img]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Healing-Without-Freud-Prozac-approaches/dp/1447211464/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424118006&sr=1-1&keywords=without+prozac

Bear in mind that the drug you have been prescribed may not work for you. Don't be afraid to go back and ask for an alternative. Prozac didn't work for me whereas Citalopram did. If you still feel a bit wobbly in three weeks time ask for a review. (The Doc can consult his big book of happy pills for the alternative).

It took a redundancy and 18 months not working to get me straight. I was on Citalopram for 3 years.

i am going through the exact same thing- i found my self in a bad place after :
returned from living away to childhood home
father died
Job went kaput
wife pregnant
next job kaput
moved into new home
boy born
struggling with changes to life and relationship
Doctor put me on same pills after i had a breakdown, 2 weeks later i feel a bit happier but still zone out ? i am peaking and toughing and feel so lethargic . i don't feel so destructive any more
taking every day at a time = its tough but family and friends and business partners are supporting

I cannot give you a success story, but what I can give you are some tips for things that have helped me manage. I've spend most of my life battling mental health issues and have been around the block with most of what is on offer.

Anti depressants are like a life raft. They can stop you from drowning, but if you don't learn to swim then you may have a problem when they are taken away. For some people they are a magic bullet, for others they take the edge off and for a few they do sweet FA.

Therapy can be a mixed bag. IMO if you can afford it, go private. The NHS can be shocking when it comes to mental health, but it is better than nothing. For some people a short course of CBT can work wonders, but for many people the services provided are poor.

The NHS is great if you have broken something or they need to cut something out or put you back together. For Chronic illnesses it can be very hit and miss.

My preferred choices for therapy are things like mindfulness based CBT and ACT.

Spending £500 on a series of therapy sessions with a really good therapist can be worth it's weight in gold.

You can't put a price on health. By all means go the NHS route, but if it isn't working spend the money and go private.

The number one thing I recommend to anyone with mental health problems is learning to meditate or learning some mindfulness techniques. You can learn this from a book or go to some classes.

Rather than artificiality manipulating neurotransmitters in the brain, meditation is proven to build new neural connections and make the brain more resilient to stress, anxiety and depression.

Meds can take up to 6 weeks to kick in and even of you go private it will take a while to see any benefit from therapy.

My suggestion would be to look up mindfulness based stress reduction course in your area and sign up for a course. Normally the courses are 8 weeks and cost about £100-150.

In terms of effectiveness the combo of medication and therapy together is best. Combine this with a meditation/mindfulness practice and you will be well on your way.

Next question... anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

Don't go down the sleeping pills route.
Don't look at your phone, don't watch TV, avoid all technology, don't get up, have a bit of sex to tire you.

Would suggest that you get your vit d level checked out, some people find they need to take a higher supplement in Winter. In addition vit c is very good at supporting the adrenal glands which will undoubtedly be taking a hammering.

I have not experienced anything quite like this myself, but, despite considering myself to be a generally cheerful optimistic type person the pressures of modern life with work, family pressures, unrealistic social and leisure expectations, plus the general annoying admin and stuff that goes along with everything conspire to overwhelm me from time to time these days. There are just too many competeing demands on my time and not enough time and energy to apply to them it seems. I find myself being grumpy and generally dissatified a lot of the time as a result, despite good health, wonderful family and a very good quality of life. Its odd - my one great desire is to simplify my life, and do less, better. Its hard to do but I am trying to work towards it. My point is I think you are very far from being alone OP - take heart, focus on the good important things in your life and let the other nonsense that feels important but isn't wash over you. Good luck 🙂

Next question... anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

Don't have children 😀

In all seriousness, we all tend to live lives where may have personal expectations of being amazing parents, amazing at our jobs, elite athletes, social butterflies, bottle washer, diy expert and bon vivant.

I realised a few years back that I had to pick two or three and let the rest go, not beat myself up. I'd love to say it is successful but it isn't, really struggle with it all sometimes.

Tips for not being awake at 3am? No idea pass them on. OP Mail in profile if you need to talk.

My point is I think you are very far from being alone OP

This +1,000,0000

Society has developed a way of papering over the cracks. The pressures of modern life mean we think we have to pretend everything is ok. Any admission that we're struggling is a sign of weakness (in our head). I have a friend who recently had to take time off work due to stress. The gossip mongering then suggested he was finished professionally, he couldn't cut it, his career had stalled. Absolute nonsense in my eyes.

But everyone is doing such a good job at hiding their problems that when you do finally admit to yourself that you are struggling, you think you're the only one. You don't want to open up to anyone as you'll be perceived as weak. It's only when you do talk to others that you suddenly discover lots of people are struggling.

We're bottling things up far too much. We're living unnatural lifestyles and setting ourselves unrealistic expectations which creates tremendous pressure on our mental state.

We need a big re-think about how we live our lives and interact with others around us.

Don't have children

Funny you should say that.

Our 1 year old only just started sleeping through a couple of weeks ago. Before that, we've literally had an entire year on nothing but scraps of sleep. There've been nights when I've been up until 5am trying to settle her then getting up and going into work for the day. Also nights where I'd have to get up for the day at 1am because that's when she'd decided she was getting up.

But the general rule of thumb was that we were woken almost at least every hour, of every single night, for almost an entire year. And that's despite following all the advice we could, getting people to help us, sticking carefully to routines, etc, etc.

It's been brutal, and I do wonder if a year of very little sleep has skewed my thinking, leading to me feeling like this.

Next question... anyone got any tips for NOT being wide awake every morning at 3am? Ugh.

I get this if I drink certain alcohol (mix drink) or if I eat sugar in the evening.

Basically both caused a sort of sugar crash/I'd be awake for two hours then the next thing you know I'd be struggling to wake at 6.30am.

No sugar/mixed alchol drinks in the evening sorted this.

For me- theres many factors affecting life. Not all are linked.

It's been brutal, and I do wonder if a year of very little sleep has skewed my thinking, leading to me feeling like this.

It will, while we have been really lucky with hours we've had a couple of months of disruption and some weeks it's brutal, add in some colds and flu then some grey cold weather it's hard to be optimistic.

No sugar/mixed alchol drinks in the evening sorted this.

Yeah, I've tried all kinds of stuff - no eating late, etc, etc, but no dice. I have no trouble falling asleep, I just can't stay there longer than 3am ish.

add in some colds and flu then some grey cold weather it's hard to be optimistic.

Agreed. We all got ill with cold/flu between Christmas and NY which lasted for a week or two, then as soon as that was gone, we all caught a different one. Almost a full month of feeling like crap, on top of very little sleep.

Avoid the drugs if you can, though they help some people but can make things worse. CBT and counselling works. Understanding the weird thought processes and moods, and how to spot them coming, deal with them or laughing them off is a way of handling it.

Biggest treatment though is exercise. Riding bikes works especially well. Social rides can help a lot, though solo can get you out clearing your head. Personally I'd concentrate on off road in the countryside. Busy road rides may just stress you out. Ride as much as you can, regularly, and if you can get out when symptoms are kicking in, even just walking.

If this is your first experience of depression, then it might be a one-off. My dad went through it once, but it only happened once, all down to life circumstances. Don't stress that this might be a permanent thing.

OP, don't worry. You'll be surprised how many people go through this. Its an affliction of the modern world. I suffered with it for nearly a decade and I still get off days even now but I've learned to cope with things much better.

I personally never got on with anti depressants. I was prescribed Prozac (Fluoxetine) when I was 15 years old as my parents were going through a messy near-divorce and I was struggling at school because of it and after 3 months I came off it because of the side effects. I also tried citalopram around 2008 when a few deaths in the family caused things to flare up but again the side effects were worse than the actual depression.

Counselling and meditation classes were what helped the most. I was fortunate to have access to a great counselling service when I was at uni in Sheffield between 2003-2006 and I took advantage of that. As others have said, exercise is a fantastic way to get a quick boost of endorphins so I try to get out on the bike whenever possible. Even a quick 20 mins walk round the block will help.

Its also worth bearing in mind that it could be something as simple as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) which can be easily treated by using a special lamp to iron out your circadian rhythm.

[quote=deadkenny ]Biggest treatment though is exercise.

I understand that. But when I'm struggling, I find it almost impossible to get myself out of the door and do some. Like right now. The other issue I have is that I've always done exercise as training for competition and tend to measure myself - right now I'm unfit and rubbish and don't enjoy going out and proving how unfit and rubbish I am. I know if I go out and do some it will get better and I'll be happy when I start seeing improvement, but the first couple of weeks are almost impossible. I honestly do sometimes come back feeling worse than if I'd not gone out.

Had 6 weeks off doing any proper exercise at all due to a hernia op. Of course when I mentioned being worried because it was my "medication" nobody paid any attention, which seems par for the course with mental health. I coped OK with that, it's actually now I can do stuff again which is harder 🙁 The worst thing is that following meeting the consultant again last week, I don't think he fixed the right hernia (I wasn't sure at the time, but trusted the professionals), so scared I'll have all this again.

It helps that I now have something I do regularly with other people again (having lost that for quite a long time after kids came along) - the social side also helps. Once or twice I've almost not gone because I couldn't bear to meet people - one time I forced myself to drive there and come home if I didn't feel up to it, and was OK when I got there. Have always been glad I've gone, so hopefully over that now.

Sorry for the big hijack - I've mentioned my problems on here in passing before, but don't think I've ever gone into that much detail. Am thinking over some of the suggestions on here, as I'm kind of out of the system and not getting any better (did drugs, didn't find they helped, stopped, had some paid for counselling, didn't find it helped, stopped, NHS has been generally useless). Though mainly my problems are based on my life situation, which is going to be incredibly hard to sort so I'm happy about it, but I don't think I'll ever get much better until I do. The trouble is, I find even relatively simple things hard at times, still haven't worked out how to cope with the really difficult ones.

Thought i was getting better but just had a terrible 2 days ,i thought i had missed a happy pill- so took another it span me out , i had a real panic on today and decided to take some time out so have cashed the job in .I am thinking of going to Thailand to spend a month in the village temple to clear things out , then a month at my home there to figure out next step ? It always seems to level me out to spend time there and the pills just do not sit right with me?

waaaaaaaaahhh!!!

I've usually got a fairly good handle on my depression, I've been coping with it a very long time and I've made enough lifestyle choices to put me in a position where a bad day or even a bad week won't rock the boat too much and there will be people that understand ready to help out..

My other half has gone away for a few months to work though and so far it's been an emotional rollercoaster.. The highs and lows have been immense and although it's been balancing out it's taken it's toll..
I've managed to stay on my feet and stay upbeat but today I've just felt drained.. nothing left in the tank, my routine has gone to shit (I find routine helps a fair bit) and things are starting to stack up.. Anxiety levels right now are high and very physically exhausting

Trevron you sound to me like you're doing the right thing... I think lifestyle and stress management are pretty key in managing this sort of condition long term..

Happily if I can just push through the next few weeks I'm going out to the sun to join my other half for a month, which will be ideal for resetting myself and recharging the batteries.. the kids get back from their mum's tomorrow too which is a blessing cos having them around removes any element of wallowing, of choice or thought.. there is no time for maybe or if or procrastination when you have kids to look after, there is just do or do not do..
I'd also say that it's a pretty shitty time of year to be in the UK if you're prone to emotional instability and negativity

trevron73, I am not suggesting anything by this comment or directing it at you, but you did remind me of a problem which sometimes occurs.

Antidepressant drugs can have an adverse effect on people who have bipolar. It can turn them from a depressive state to manic or even psychotic state.
It is more common for bipolar people to only visit their doctor when depressed, so prescribed meds for depression rather than bipolar, and then freak out as they rocket up or enter a mixed confused state.

I'm the OP, and I'm actually feeling a fair bit better about stuff right now. I'm not sure if it's the citalopram (it's only been a week, and I was told not to expect results for a few weeks), or if it's the self help stuff I've been doing.

As I was expecting a long wait time for NHS counselling, I thought I'd look into it myself - and for most of this week I've CBT'd myself to death with books, online resources, and an iPhone app.

It's actually been a pretty fascinating process - examining the thoughts and feelings that have been making me anxious and actively questioning their validity, and whether I have a genuine reason to be anxious over them. Turns out I can reframe almost every negative thought I've been having (and amplifying) into something that more closely resembles reality, and I can completely see and understand the processes that got me to where I am right now.

It's still a bit of an effort to do this 'reframing' on the fly though, because it's still quite easy to fall back into an anxious state if I don't put that effort in, but I can generally turn things around if I take the time to write my negative thoughts down or put them into the app.

I'm assuming that at some point I'll be able to do this automatically, but I guess that'll take some practice.

Early days, I know, but I think I'm getting somewhere.

i'll be honest i hav'nt read all the posts, so i apologise if this has been covered, but just my 2ps worth... i too had loads of anxiety, depression etc until i stopped drinking. not a huge drinker admittedly, a few beers, but since quitting end dec its been hugely noticeable how better i cope.

A new twist to my current saga , cannot go to Thailand to temple till the new born gets passports 5 weeks (ish ) so doctor has upped the strength of med basically doubled them and signed me off for 1 month .meanwhile a co- worker in a different department has mocked my leaving on social media (twitter and Facebook) talk about low even tagging another rival restaurant mocking me ? Wow not nice and a real blow to my current feelings

****s will be ****s. If that sort of negativity's all they've got then bad luck to them.

(ps, with all the demands for forum changes lately, could we please have the swear filter star things out properly? Five letter words, only 4 stars, it's a travesty)

I have avoided opening this thread, as it cuts close too the bone for me.

I have a lot of respect for someone who can just sayoutright that he feels there is something wrong and do something about it.

I've switched between being down in the dumps to utterly depressed, anxious to outright paranoia for years. It comes and goes, triggered by various things, most of the time I can recognise it and look for ways to keep it at least under control so others cannot see it.

At other times, it creeps out, and I can see people recognising a change and not knowing how to deal with me.

Never told anybody that, let alone a group of beardy weirdos on the net.

Most that 'know' me, know me as a grumpy **** who avoids people as much as possible, the ones closer are aware that I lock myself away from people quite regularly.

I have always wondered if going down the medication route is the way to go, never brave enough to do it.

I fight back tears at times, over the weirdest random things, at other times, memories make me want to sit and cry. Part of my job is having to speak to groups of people, and there are times where I just have to cut things short as I can feel myself starting to lose it.

It is a strange old thing, and one that one day I will do something about, hopefully before it makes me. I haven't lived anywhere in the last 15 years that has had a positive image of mental health, which is part of the problem, or an excuse.

OP well done on doing something about it. I wish I had the confidence to do that. PS your a twunt, as this has made me sit and fight back the tears again.

Quirrel - hey at least you admit something's up. I spent years convincing myself that this was normal and that I should just tough it out, MTFU and get on with it. Except half the time I couldn't, and the half the time that I did I would then micro-analyse everything I'd done and said and pick on eveyrhting as signs of weakness or errors or reasons why i was totally rubbish and worthless.

Talk to your doctor. Just do it. They may not even prescribe antidepressants - they're not a panacea, they're not appropriate for some and don't work for everyone. Do you shun anti-inflammatories while your injuries get sorted? Do you just keep running on that sore knee because it will go away if you ignore it hard enough?

From experience the one thing I can share is that you need to use the right therapy at the right time. I was lucky in that I had counselling first because at that time I wasn't even able to acknowedge that I might have a problem - boy was it a bad day when I finally admitted that. CBT is fine if you can work with it but, like so many things, it's far better done with a skilled practitioner than from a website 😉 Then finding a local group (via MIND) of other depressed folks was brilliant. You wouldn't believe how much laughter and positivity a room full of depressed people can bring.

So come on. You've shared that much with us - now let us share the story of your recovery as well as cbma's.

EDIT - for instance the old me wouldn't have left all the typo's in here because that would show how stupid and careless I was.

I feel for you OP. I have followed this thread and been a bit wary of posting my own experience. I have spent the last year working away from home while my wife was expecting our third child. Working in civil engineering following being made redundant after 10 years in opencast mining. These are industries where displaying empathy towards your family can be seen as soft amongst colleagues.

During the uncertainty of transitions between jobs I had a big family blow out with my brother and my mum was diagnosed with Huntingtons Disease. I got really lonely away from the family and began getting really tetchy at work before breaking down a few times. Was off for a few weeks and prescribed a course of Citalopram, which I am currently on. Work were great. Put me in touch with a counciller and placed me close to home. Things have been settled in the last few months. I have relaxed and taken up new hobbies, listening to classical music, painting and joining a local choir. I would never have thought of these things just a few months ago. I am also pursuing a blood test to determine whether I will develop Huntingtons Disease. Apparently the chance is 50%

OP, if it makes you feel better, you are not alone. Citalopram can help however can make you a bit queezy for a few weeks at the beginning. Over time you may better resolve what is really important in life. I now like to think no job is worth driving me to the dark places I went to a few months ago.

Good luck.

Only just found this thread,
How are you getting on now OP?
I am just over a week in on citalopram and struggling a bit so hoping things are improving for you.