[Closed] Has everyone done the government career advice thing?

I did it a few weeks ago and it suggested I should be a nurse or teaching assistant.

I own a web design agency.

I got pipe fitter. I’m a civil service drone.

I’m looking forward to fully exploring the multitude of doors open to me in my new career. once I’ve decided which one to pursue

Bad Manners tribute act?

It's all gone by the wayside with the venues shut PP

Well...

I got Managerial in Computing, technology and digital and Business and finance.

Consider this Manager in an IT Support company and former Finance Manager surprised at it's competency.

I got IT security consultant.

I've ordered an Audi and a woodburner as a consequence.

Hospitality and food
Retail and sales
Creative and media
Construction and trades
Sport and leisure
Computing, technology and digital
Emergency and uniform services
Animal care
Healthcare
Social care

Wtf? That's so wide as to be useless. Let me click through on the IT one since I am an IT consultant...

Information scientist
IT security co-ordinator
Technical architect
Head of IT
Digital product owner
Digital delivery manager

That sounds pretty good. So, assuming I'm an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

Steeplejack.... I'm sh*t scared of heights!

So, assuming I’m an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

Probably some kind of bullcrap Microsoft Certification, followed by Agile.

So it seems I should be in creative & media or construction...I am sure there are loads of people sitting on the fence about buying a macbbook or a van 🙂

Sport and leisure
Emergency and uniform services
Manufacturing

I'm a project manager...

A micro brewer.

Did they know I just ordered a cider press? Can't think how else they could have come up with that.

I got meteorologist, climate scientist and countryside ranger, pretty much perfect for me!

If you answer "It depends" for every single question then you should become a Quantity Surveyor.

At least that's what my wife constantly tells me and she's never even seen this questionnaire.

I got loads of random nonsense and no mention of what I was doing for 35 years. I remember careers programmes that were much better than that 30 f years ago.

I did it. 'Creative and Media' is a whole category of jobs. It didn't even suggest the category for me, not anywhere, not even down the bottom of the list. So, I guess I should look for a different job.

Top 2 suggestions were 'search and rescue worker' and 'prison instructor'. Next was 'aromatherapist'.

Top 2 suggestions were ‘search and rescue worker’ and ‘prison instructor’

You don't want to be a prison search instructor.
You'd have to deal with loads of arseholes.

Well every job in t suggested for me had a predicted wage of minimum or just above. So my take from it is that I'll be poor for the foreseeable future.

At least it's got one thing right.

If you answer “It depends” for every single question then you should become a Quantity Surveyor.

Or IT architect

I went for Manufacturing.

I got

Production Worker
Leather Technologist
Dressmaker

I reckon combining the last two could see me reet.

So it seems I should be in creative & media or construction

although film / media took a kicking through the main lock down, before COVID struck there was reckoned to be a crew shortage in the region of 30,000 folk in film /high end Tv alone, and right now it seems to be bouncing back quite keenly. You don’t need to be arty (in either your skill set or your interests) to work in the creative industries in the same way as you don’t need to be a mechanic to work in the automotive industry or a doctor to work in a hospital. When you watch the list of names roll up the screen there’s only a really a small number of creative roles but there are plenty of accountants, scaffolders, electricians, drivers, nurses, administrators, and so on working with those skills ‘in the media’ and the industry is desperate for people to transfer over from other sectors.

That sounds pretty good. So, assuming I’m an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

It's a fair point, it reminds me of the career advice at School, "oh you like heights, you can be an Airline Pilot then" as if all you need is the desire and BA will give you a 747 to drive about.

I guess the Government aren't thinking that all the bar staff, kitchen staff, stage dressers, Cinema staff etc are going to be able to go back to their old jobs in 3/6/9 months then, seems they're going to need a couple of years to retrain for some pretty specialist roles.

Creative and Media comes No.1 for me.

Which is handy as I've spend the last 35yrs in the print and design trade!! 🙂

I got insurance loss adjuster haha!

I'm (was) a musician

EDIT....just done looked at a role in a similar industry to arts.....they recommend 'Stunt Performer' hahahaha. No wonder Spitting Image doesn't seem funny anymore, real life is way more hilarious than satire!!

I got 'Emergency Services, Hospitality, Retail and Sales, Animal Care...'

Nothing about being in the creative industries and definitely not an editor. Sounds about right then! 🙂

I got boxer.

Better join my local gym and start working to unlock my hidden talent.

Every salary seem to range 18-40k.

I got actor, construction (various), athlete!, Data scientist (not that far from what I do now but am sick of).

Paramedic. Which is what I wanted to do as a teenager.

My brother in law is a barber.....one of his suggestions was 'bomb disposal technician'

Cheers Binners....funniest half hour I've had in ages!!!

Boxer!

I'm 55 and would blow away in a strong breeze. That's the career for me!

(or Information Scientist which is pretty close to the day job)

There was a thing in the Grauniad this morning where some lass was offered Commercial Pilot or Lock Keeper.

Also reports of Cinema jobs being punted too..

I'm gonna have a go later.

Apparently I should/could be an Environmental Heath Officer; or a Royal Marines Officer; or a Prison Governor...unless I want to be a Child Welfare Officer or a receptionist...

I'm a training consultant.

Basically every whatsapp group I'm in is now filled with this.....I've been in tears for the past half hour!

My sister got Bingo Caller
Girlfriend got Soldier, Football referee and travel agency manager!!! She's the least physically able 29 year old I know!!!
Friend also got bingo caller and also racehorse trainer ffs!!

It's good to see goverenment money isn't being wasted at least.

What Rishi actually meant with his suggestions was, 50% of you need to become van drivers....those that get in quick might get to work for the least ****tish employers. The other 50% can be whatever you like.....as long as it's for Serco or G4S

Are people seriously getting Boxer / Athlete etc? That's madness.

I got meteorologist, climate scientist and countryside ranger, pretty much perfect for me

I got this too...and helicopter pilot, or yardman. I quite fancy being a helicopter-flying countryside ranger, who can keep an eye on the weather too

For me it's a tossup between boxer, cake decorator and astronomer.

Darlings! I got actor! Wonderful 😀

I’m (was) a musician

EDIT….just done looked at a role in a similar industry to arts…..they recommend ‘Stunt Performer’

Plenty of skills in common: Crash Cymbals, Stage Diving, Suicide Trombones,

BSL interpreter.  Presumably because I said I like to do things with my hands, but was a terrible listener.

Paramedic,soldier or environmental and land.

Ultimate job a PJ

I hope you all went into full on PRIVATE mode before using this tool. Just pointing out the obvious I hope.

Boxer or aromatherapist. Pretty much the same, really.

I could be an actor or a cake decorator, apparently... 🙄

Astronomer and/or acoustics consultant.

I’ve just taken it and been advised that I should become an actor or a commissioning editor

Snap!

See you at the interviews in Salford.

What's weird, is that there are so many people with a strong vocational drive to do those jobs, and work in that industry... why on earth do they need to persuade more people, who haven't considered it, to think about following that path as well??!

It's all very post-Brexit, isn't it.

Not bad...

our answers show that:

you like dealing with complicated problems or working with numbers
you like to lead other people and are good at taking control of situations
you are a creative person and enjoy coming up with new ways of doing things

The following job categories are based on the answers you have given. You can choose to view more results at the bottom of the page.

Seem to be a lot of options for me in all disciplines from Actor to Royal Marine via Football Referee and Head Chef to Paramedic.

I hope you all went into full on PRIVATE mode before using this tool. Just pointing out the obvious I hope.

My Safari Privacy Tracker showed only 2 trackers for that site - both Google.

Apparently I should be either a fair ground worker or an accountant. WTF Rishi!

Told me I should be a porn star or a cowboy.

I'm male stripper with a stetson..

I dont understand. Whats a Fluffer?

you like dealing with complicated problems or working with numbers

How on earth did they work that out? Was it perhaps the two questions... "do you like dealing with complicated problems" ... and .... "do you like working with numbers" ...?

The whole survey reads as if written by an intern, when told they have "the rest of the day" to devise it. Nothing about it suggests it's really written to help people... it's a data gathering exercise... "if you were a job, what kind of job would you be" ....

My take away from that was become an IT consultant to the DWP.

Steeple jack or construction labourer.

*Hands in mouse*

I've got a degree in modern languages and have been working in software development for over 20 years

Like so many others, I should be an Actor, a Copy Editor or a Commissioning Editor...

It’s telling all the uk technical theatre people to become actors and explore the events and creative industries...thanks for that...let us just finish our Tesco and amazon deliveries and we will be right there.

I got suggested healthcare, emergency/uniform services or animal care. As a GP that grew up on a farm that seems fair.

The more I think about this… the angrier I get… if this was a fun bit of click bait for Glamour magazine, or GQ, it would be fine… but the government are telling people to retrain, and accept their jobs in sectors they have had to temporarily close down by law, as “unviable”… and then publish this joke tool? That is so ****ing out of touch with what people are facing this year. People can see their careers take from them, and their incomes decimated, they need real help from the government.

So there’s about a 1 in 30 accuracy of it? 😂 as said I’m happy with mine as currently studying for a Masters in Env Sci and I want to be a countryside ranger

And I haven’t even mentioned the “F business” Hard Brexit. So many people will need to shift sector this winter, they need guidance as to where there are skill shortages, and how to afford and obtain the training to help fill them, not told to join the queue of underemployed actors.

The whole survey reads as if written by an intern

Welcome to principal component analysis and random forests.

Another actor or boxer here (I'll fight you all!). Or assistance dog trainer.
That was an utterly useless exercise and the fact the government saw fit to launch it makes me even more concerned about, well, everything.
To be fair, it did also recommend my current career - which is in a rapidly downsizing industry.

Micro brewer apparently.

You win! Did it tell you who to turn to for the financing?

People can see their careers take from them, and their incomes decimated, they need real help from the government.

You do know this is a Tory Government, the only people they have any intention of helping are themselves!

• you are motivated, set yourself personal goals and are comfortable competing with other people

• you are sociable and find it easy to understand people

• you like dealing with complicated problems or working with numbers

• you like to plan things and are well organised

Sales anyone?    It suggested Scientist btw, sheesh....

Ohh an RSPCA Inspector. I think I could do that to be honest. Bit different than being the returns department in a telecoms company 🙂

I got the same as @molgrips..... exact same huge list. No info on how to retrain for anything else though. 95% of my working life has been in retail.

I got web designer, cant even work out how to post pictures on here, and with crap spelin doent help.

also seem to have broke the forum comment box has moved smaller and to the right side.

Dunno, I guess if your desperately searching it pitches a few ideas at you and lets you know there's a wide range or roles out there you perhaps didn't know or think about, so could give a glimmer of hope. All the questions seems to cut and paste from myers briggs type stuff, so probably didn't take any time or effort to produce! I got actor and creative media type stuff, clicked a few bits and it showed some achievable stuff.

There must be loads of openings at the circus, all the clowns are in government.

reasonably accurate and specific for me

Well that was vague... 🤷🏻‍♂️

Returned the best part of 25 different career possibilities for me, many of which would require 5yrs+ of training (conveniently at huge expense to the individual into the goverments pocket!) before I was even able to earn a penny practicing said profession...

Seriously, **** this government!

Paramedic, soldier or security manager,what is a security manager?

We used to have something similar when I was a kid, pre computers

I'm 60 don't think any of these things is a good career path

yay pay rise for me!!! (im a process engineer in the chemical industry!)
what an absolute crock of money wasting shite that is - i wonder how much it cost and which of Boris chums got the job

Magistrate
Magistrates are volunteers who hear cases in court. They pass judgements and hand down short sentences, fines and other penalties.

Average salary
Variable

Typical hours
Variable
a week

You could work
9am to 5pm

Judge
Judges hear evidence in criminal and civil courts, make rulings and pass sentences based on the information presented during cases.

Average salary
£112,500 (starter)up to £215,000 (experienced)
StarterExperienced
Typical hours
40 to 48
a week

You could work
between 8am and 6pm

Coroner
Coroners look into deaths from unnatural or unknown causes, or those that have happened suddenly or in prison or police custody.

Average salary
£85,000 (starter)up to £115,000 (experienced)
StarterExperienced
Typical hours
36 to 38
a week

You could work
evenings / weekends / bank holidays

Because I'm not good at controlling my emotions in difficult situations... Fairground worker.