You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
and just told everyone afterwards?
Where did you do it and what did you do?
We're thinking about it, I love a good wedding but the thought of a normal wedding all about us doesn't really appeal....
Ever since getting married I dream of running away!
It will be the people you think will be ok with it that are the most upset about missing your big day.
But it’s your big day so do what you both want.
We had 10 at our wedding. That was 8 too many, but we thought we couldn't get away with any less. No big do - that was in the days when her parents paid, and they had no money - just a lunch at a pub that both of our fathers had a business "understanding" with. For the evening do we went with her brother and wife to a different pub for a pie and a pint.
If wifey had had her way we would have gone out in lunchtime and got married - yes we went to Registry Office which was a bit taboo 45 years ago. But we got the piece of paper and we are still together.
Kind of. We got married in Mexico, told everyone when we were going and if they wanted to come they could but we weren’t paying for them. More came than I would have liked if I’m honest.
We did a couple of years ago. Been living together for 25years both been married before with children, decided it was time to get legal. Went to Gretna for a couple of nights got hitched then phoned the kids and told them. No one upset, kids thought it was hilarious the oldies running away to get married, probably helped that one is in London one in France and the other one the Bahamas.
After being together for 14 years (since I was 16), we decided to go for a week in Vegas and get married. One of our friends and his ex wife came with us to witness 🙂
We just had a cheap reception (big piss up) when we came back.
Me and Mrs WF got married in secret with just 2 people we knew and trusted as witnesses. Chose them as they were able to keep the secret and unknown to anyone in our circle so no-one could feel put out. Then again, we had been a couple for 24 years before tying the knot 🙂
EDIT: We did throw a huge open party on the farm in the summer following the wedding as it was also both our 50th birthdays and also my dads 80th. Kill 4 birds with 1 stone. Me, cheap? Never 🙂
No but I'd like to. Waiting for straight couples to be able to be civil partnered and I'd be happy to just have 2 witnesses but will probably end up with a small do.
We had 10 at our wedding.
9 including us two. It was either all or next to nothing, lots of people travelling long distances or very low key. Anything in between would have left out/offended as many as it pleased. Despite the low numbers we managed to leave the ceremony in different cars as we were the only ones who knew where we were going and didn't want to lose anyone, that dates it as pre-gps. A good day.
6 at our official one.
A mix up basically meant we had to go to a registry office a couple of days before, so just MrsTH and me, 2 witnesses (all in riding kit...) and two officials.
'We are all gathered here today' raised a giggle...
We’re thinking about it, I love a good wedding but the thought of a normal wedding all about us doesn’t really appeal….
If you want to do something different then do that. No need to run away, just organise the sort of wedding you do want. We put quite a lot effort into ours, picked things we wanted, avoided things we didn't. We both really enjoyed it. Wife still talking about getting divorced so we can do it again
I really wish I had.
A friend did this, I think they got off on the idea of sending their families an up yours, but looking back it was just a petty, delayed teenage rebellion on both their parts. Now divorced!
Took the day off work whilst kids in nursery, 2 mates to witness and off to the registry office. Mates went back to work and we went for a bike ride. Picked the kids up that evening and told people as and when.
Year after had a 2 day party in an old farm, 30 families, bands, kids entertainment, cinema, dancing. Wellies and party frocks.
yes ten years ago in Sept. great day. we did it on Skye as it our fav place. or was before the tour bus arrived. just us and our camper van
`My sister did. Took a year off in Australia after nursing college. My parents visited her in the month before she was due to come home. A week after they flew home she married 'the abductor' as my BIL is now known. This was 20 years ago. She now regrets not having friends and family at her wedding.
My wife and I did. The more we looked at normal wedding planning stuff the more we came to despise it so we used the cover of a snowboard trip to Banff as cover. We hired a helicopter and got married atop the continental divide in minus -10 C temperatures, surrounded by pristine snow and perfect blue skies, nobody else for miles around apart from 2 witnesses who doubled as photographer, the marriage official and the pilot!
Told close family via Skype the next day, everyone happy for us.
Wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
Had a friend who did it, he even arranged a "bachelor do" without telling any us who were there that he was getting married.
We got married 15 years ago in Vegas. Completely stress free, nice weather and dirt cheap (We were heading to Vegas on holiday anyway) Honeymoon was a road trip through Death Valley, Yosemite, San Fran then a flight over to Vancouver to a friend's wedding.
I think my wife's mum was the only person that knew beforehand. Witnesses were the photographer and the organ player.
The deed took place at The Little Church of the West - where past weddings include (according to Wikipedia): Bob Geldof & Paula Yates, Richard Gere & Cindy Crawford, Noel Gallagher & Meg Matthews, Billy Bob Thornton & Angelina Jolie, Billie Piper & Chris Evans... hmmm...all divorced or dead. Fantastic.
Yep, new York 19 years ago, two friends flew out to witness and that was that! Wedding cost less than £50 and was part of a US holiday anyway so that was the only cost. As I say 19 years and two kids later and i dont regret it at all.
My ex best mate did, just 4 at their wedding didn't even tell any of his family or his best man (me), mind you his fiance had propositioned me so understandable really 😳
Yep. Didn't half run back again as soon as the depressing enormity of the situation became apparent.
Thanks for all the replies, I'll have another look through later after work.
Seems plenty of positive experiences (with the odd not so positive thrown in).
And I used run away a bit flippantly, there wouldn't actually be any running involved, more just getting on with organising something quietly ourselves and telling people after.
I'm hoping my daughter decides on this approach. Mind you at 35 and with reputation for intimidation when she and her partner do it, he and everyone else will do exactly what we're told!
We had a medium do but it was completely on our terms. Walking between elements, lots of music, food made by us and friends. It just vital to do what you want. It's your decision, money and importantly memories. DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT and don't be bothered with the pressure of others.
We did it 28 years ago. Local register office then went on holiday.
Planned to have a big party for all friends and family once we got back, but didn't in the end due to peoples reaction, which we didn't expect.
E.g. my wife's mother and father haven't spoken to her for 28 years.
I was surprised that my mates were upset - I did them out of a stag do!
Would do the same again.
Sort of.
We had 7 folk in the church - me, the Mrs, my mate, her pal, the Minister, his wife and her friend (to help with the singing). The "reception" was just the 4 of us at a very expensive hotel, where we also stayed overnight. We later had a couple of family get-togethers, one in Edinburgh and one in Stornoway.
Neither of us saw the point in a big ceremony or reception.
We did. My partner’s mother didn’t talk to me for two years afterwards although we had already lived together for 18 years! Be careful out there!
We had 7 folk in the church – me, the Mrs, my mate, her pal, the Minister, his wife and her friend (to help with the singing). The “reception” was just the 4 of us at a very expensive hotel, where we also stayed overnight.
That was a result for your mate.
Yep - Mrs Oddie and myself did it. It's fundamentally selfish but you know what that's absolutely OK.
We booked a register office Blanau Ffestiniog and a cottage near Betws-y-Coed
Couple of good friends as witnesses.
They stayed with us before the wedding then stayed elsewhere afterwards. After the wedding we had the rest of the week in Snowdonia, relaxing and climbing hills (in the Snow as it was March.)
It was perfect for us, I really could not be arsed with a big wedding and the Mrs' parents had a messy divorce so there was politics and extra nervousness for her.
The reaction we got was mixed to say the least...
My parents were OK, my mum a little but upset but seeing as they did the Gretna thing in the 70s, they didn't really have a leg to stand on.
Her parents, well...
Her Dad was outwardly fine but possible slightly pee'd off. He remarried to his new wife on holiday in the US without telling his daughter, so tough you know what for him.
Her Mum took it really personally, but their relationship is decidedly dysfunctional anyway. Her Mum said she was being cruel, which is an odd thing to say unless EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU...ahem.
Oh, the money we would have spent on a wedding? Yeah - bought a campervan, travelled around NZ and then took the van round Europe for 6 months. I know which one I would choose again...
Doing the "We are getting married in [insert coutry a long way away here] you can come if you pay for it." thing has merit but you might be surprised how many people will come and you might end up with parents getting into debt as they don't want to miss it. Mum's get weird around weddings...and common sense leaves the building.
One thing to note: if you have unmarried siblings, this will put a shedload of pressure on them to have a big do. Make of that what you will.
Planned to have a big party for all friends and family once we got back, but didn’t in the end due to peoples reaction, which we didn’t expect.
Us too - ended up not being arsed.
I think getting married and not telling any friends and family is bound to lead to some upset - it's just a question of how much. I wasn't invited to my sister's second marriage, which didn't bother me, but I can understand why some people would get upset.
The mother in law, for instance, may find it deeply embarrassing as then all her friends will know about it.
If I were to ever get married, which I won't, I would let people know, but have a very small wedding, maybe 10-15 people, then a party a week after with everyone invited.
I should say - we told folk beforehand, it wasn't a secret.
A good friend of mine did about 15 years ago. He and his girlfriend went over to the States booked a drive in wedding in Las Vegas and came back married. Only told the family when they got back.
Yep, us the 2witnesses, the registrar and the dog in Corrie fee.
Didn't want all the nonsense and also my sister was getting married that year, full meringue dress 100+guests.
We got married in July told folk in October, after my sister's wedding.
Another Vegas wedding here. I was due to be in Vegas on a business trip and my (now) wife and I always said if we were to get married it would be in Vegas after we first went there in 2004 for Interbike.
The only people that knew of our plans were my employers, I asked if I could stay on in Vegas for a few days after the trade event I was attending finished. My line manager said go for it and don't worry about the extra few days at the hotel (a nice bonus).
I flew out on a Monday and my girlfriend flew out on the Wednesday. Thursday we got the marriage licence and Friday lunchtime we were married at the Little Chapel of the West following several JD and cokes in the hotel bar. It was just the two of us and it was wonderful.
We married at lunchtime so I could phone my dear old mum back in the UK and give her the news straight away. And she was simply happy for us.
We did it this way because if we'd married in the UK we would have upset someone, due to the location we would have had to gone to, my home town as my dad is too ill to travel and we both have family spread around the country. This way everybody could be equally upset at missing out.
Bottom line is that it was our wedding for us. No regrets and plans to go back and renew our vows in a few years.
My brother got married in a registry office in York. We, the family didn't know. They had a couple of close friends from uni, then rode off on a tandem.
However they did have a blessing a week later in church with full white dress, flowers and very close family members, so only about 20 people.
A friend of mine ran off to Gretna Green in the early 2000's. She was in the newspaper with new hubby. They did it because he was Catholic and the priest said to her, that their children would be bastards if she didn't convert to his faith. They said sod that for a game of soldiers, then with marriage certificate in hand went off. The wedding was getting out of hand anyway, with various people demanding various things. Those demanding people were not happy, but everyone else was.
We got married in local registry office with only us,my best mate and his girlfriend, and the registrar. Never told anyone as we couldn't face any fuss with a big do full of guests you haven't/wont see for years but you have to invite them!
Had the service in the morning then went for a pub lunch. Went home to 'get changed', put radio on while busy and Should I Stay or Should I Go by the Clash was on. Probably not the best wedding song but now been married for 28 years so she hasn't sussed me out yet!
DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT
Gotta say this does sound pretty selfish. Do you take this attitude with everything in life?
We did it using this company https://www.petiteweddings.co.uk/
No stress just a relaxed weekend for the two of us and the dog
Hearing stories from friends and colleagues about how much they spent on their weddings, my thought is bollocks to that. At least the money as deposit for a house is useful, but for that "special" day it's just money down the drain.
If it was a necessity (and I don't feel it is these days), then I'd go with "run away!". Even far away exotic so no one could afford to go is still a lot cheaper than some weddings.
We didn't run away, but had far from a traditional wedding either. We took a cancellation at the registry office, so people only had 3 weeks notice, even though it was a weekday. Then pub after, followed by a curry. I guess we has a dozen or so at the ceremony, then others came along after. It cost maybe £500, but I'm not sure who paid.
People who moan about how expensive weddings are obviously haven't paid for a divorce.
One of the work lads did it last year. Had been planning a once in a lifetime trip to the USA for ages with their kids and we all knew about that but when they were in Vegas they got hitched. It was planned but they didn't tell anyone until they came home.
Sort of doing it in a few weeks. Together for 20 years and the reason for getting wed is the legal aspect. A couple of friends/relations with sudden medical issues brought home the consequences of not being married if the worst were to happen. I was all for keeping it as small as possible but we've ended up with all immediate family. Was a bit awkward telling my folks that we didn't want all the cousins aunts etc there but they swallowed it in the end (and tbh I wouldn't recognise a lot of them if I sat next to them on a bus). We picked a venue where we want to spend a day, booked it and are going for minimal extra faffage on top of that. The basic idea is that we're getting married, not "having a wedding".
ETA its also been interesting managing people's expectations eg. "what are we doing in the evening?" "Going home!"
Had a friend who did it, he even arranged a “bachelor do” without telling any us who were there that he was getting married.
That's pretty cool 🙂
I think getting married and not telling any friends and family is bound to lead to some upset – it’s just a question of how much.
There's a couple of people that I think would get a bit upset, but I'd hope they'll get over it pretty quick.
I've mentioned it to my Mum in the past and she'd be fine with it, I'd not be surprised if it's half what she's expecting us to do anyway.
My fiancee's family would want to be very involved in all of it and I think anything we tried to arrange with their input would end up a bit stressful....
We did it using this company https://www.petiteweddings.co.uk/
No stress just a relaxed weekend for the two of us and the dog
Cheers, they look good but the wrong end of the country. There's a couple of things the same as that up here in Scotland though.
The basic idea is that we’re getting married, not “having a wedding”.
ETA its also been interesting managing people’s expectations eg. “what are we doing in the evening?” “Going home!”
I like this, we plan to just get married too.
we’ve ended up with all immediate family
Keeping it small but having the immediate family would be a bit of an issue, as my sister lives on the other side of the world so the first thing would be booking it for a date she could come back. And then it would all start to grow arms and legs.
Also we've provisionally booked something 🙂
Not very far in the future, a couple of nights somewhere, just the two of us. It's somewhere that does big weddings but have said they've done a few for just the couple and can be witnesses and arrange everything. It sounds ideal, just getting details.
We gave the family two weeks' notice of our wedding.
In Kefalonia. They were invited.
So we did it 😁 Let a few close family and friends know that we were planning something but didn’t tell them when or where. Monday we headed to Portavadie, hired a cottage for 2 nights and got married by a standing stone. Just us, registrar and 2 staff who agreed to be witnesses. Perfect 🙂
[url= https://i.ibb.co/9N7R8pr/C447-B868-BD58-43-CA-98-FD-96-D6-DCB223-C8.jp g" target="_blank">https://i.ibb.co/9N7R8pr/C447-B868-BD58-43-CA-98-FD-96-D6-DCB223-C8.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
too many people at my wedding, happily i got divorced on my own
There was us two, my best mate and his girlfriend at ours in a local registry office. After the service we rang our respective parents then told our mates when we went out that night. My mam was a bit teary but that was all. My wifes parents ran away to do it days after the mil had her 21st in 1955 so they couldn't complain.
We really didn't want a fuss or to invite relatives we had nothing in common with.
Grand day out really.
In 1989 I was working in Nassau the future Mrstaxi was out there with me, just before we came home we thought ####it lets get married. My employer did wedding packages and arranged it all for free. Just a couple of friends, it was perfect. I don't look anything like this now but mrstaxi does. At least to me anyway 😍😍
[url= https://i.postimg.cc/nLzXFshh/20180223-174023.jp g" target="_blank">https://i.postimg.cc/nLzXFshh/20180223-174023.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://postimages.org/ ]share image[/url]
thegeneralist
Gotta say this does sound pretty selfish.
It isn't. Other people wanting you to have a big do is selfish of them. IMO.
Marriage is a very personal thing and to be taken seriously.
The only opinion that matters are those of the 2 participants.
Well i’m Quiet enjoying reading all the different ways everyone has got married. I have only recently proposed to the better half in Finale Ligure. Either of us are bothered by a big wedding but the fun and games is she has a very large family (parents have over 15 brothers and sisters - Irish). So the idea of eloping is sounding like a good idea lol
Yep we went to Corrie fee and got we'd there, only the second wedding to be done there. Two pals and the dog. Then reception in the climbers bar of the glen clova hotel.
Only person that got upset was the mil and I really don't care so win all round.
Not interested in spectators at all so may be planning states next year. Just us.
Most people I know seem to have weird regrets about the actual event. And most of the weddings I've attended are nauseating.
MTB+WED+MOAB+VEGAS
When I was 21 (!) I went to Panama to work and met my future wife. After one year we went to the equivalent of the registry office in Panama and got married... I didn't tell anybody back home for weeks.
Luckily 15 years, 3 kids and 4 countries later, seems to be going well!
Congratulations Phil556 !!
And yes Epicyclo - other people's expectations are the selfish part, if you wanna leg it to Gretna then that's your right to choose.
We were going to as we both hate being centre of attention and the massive waste of money that weddings are, but family on both sides expressed their disappointment. We still went to Gretna Green to keep the price reasonable as part of a package deal and had a nice time in the end, but still kinda wished we went up by ourselves for the weekend instead. The packaged photographer was absolute shite though, we do regret not hiring a proper one.
I’m hoping my daughter decides on this approach.
Me too, after seeing her reaction driving past a rather gorgeous marquee on the banks of the Wharfe at Bolton Abbey the other day... 🙂
Always worrying when venues don't put any pricing information on their website.
edhornby
And yes Epicyclo – other people’s expectations are the selfish part, if you wanna leg it to Gretna then that’s your right to choose.
I must admit I'm not a fan of big weddings or rituals.
As far as I'm concerned it's simply about making a promise to someone and putting it on record to protect their and subsequent children's rights.
Having a big to do about it isn't going to make that promise any better, you either really mean a promise, or you don't. If it's the latter, don't make the promise.
Registry office job for us, told folk & family after. Seems to have worked out pretty well and that was a long time ago.
Just as a counterpoint, we had a typical church wedding in her lovely local chapel (for the building, neither of us are religious) with around 100 guests. Fabulous day and wouldn't hesitate to do it again! We already were on our second house between us, and we paid for most of it (her father insisted on paying for the reception, mainly out of relief for finally getting round to it after 13 years together!)