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Just been asked to put yet more junk in the loft. It is not a big loft.
There is no room as it is full of junk. Precious junk that cannot be thrown away. For example boxes of curtains that the kids "might" want. My kids are 10 and 12.
I have been told that I need to make room.
Does anyone have any "Loft Magic™" that I can borrow?
Asking for a friend.
Ha! I feel your pain. We live in a dormer bungalow so half the upstairs has flat roofs and the loft is absolutely tiny.. got told just last week to "just put it in the loft".. It's better than the approach to putting stuff in the garage mind.. my other half just opens the door and throws stuff in from the kitchen, doesn't even bother turning the light on! So if anyone has some garage magic I'll have some of that too.
Mine's magic in that I managed to spend lockdown transforming it from a dusty hellhole full of stuff to a usable space where I can do a bit of bouldering, play with my model railways, show off my model cars without them offending my wife (she daren't come up the loft ladder) AND still store all the junk we had in the eaves.
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The magic part requires the time afforded by a pandemic, some old carpet, some spare bits of wood, some sheets of plastic and around 8 half used tins of white paint left by the previous owner.
Mines magical but not in a useful way. It has two powers.
Power the first is leaking. It only does this when it’s raining and it leaks in different places depending on which way the wind blows.
The second one is even better! If you go in to the loft, stand still and don’t touch a thing you’ll be utterly filthy when you come back down. The air itself is magic!
The plus side of this is that absolutely nothing can be stored in it.
Edit - that’s brilliant munrobiker, especially the bouldering wall. Your loft appears to be bigger than my house.
Gallifreyan loft?
Oh yes.
easily fit a dray of squirrels in there ^
I have a magic side of the house. Anything that needs to go to the dump simply gets thrown there and magically disappears (this usually coincides with my increased annoyance with the length of time it's been left there).
^^Racist
Edit - that was aimed at Bruneep from the squirrel thread
Munrobiker, your loft appears to have a loft. Now that's classy
Put up a rail across an A frame and hang the curtains, that should give you a temporary reprieve.
my other half just opens the door and throws stuff in from the kitchen
My wife wants a door breaking through into our garage from our utility room (currently the only way in is via the garage door so it means going outside). I am manfully resisting as I know just what will happen.
That's impressive munrobiker but I must say your
from a dusty hellhole full of stuff
Looks better than a lot of living rooms and kitchens I've been in. (mine may be on that list)
After emptying too many attics of dead relatives I promised myself that I’d never store anything in one.
My new place has a huge one and I’m still not going to store anything in it. I am however, saving up to extend into it as I’ve realised it may be possible with a bit of imagination regarding the plans.
I have a danger loft. I'm in danger of dying in my own bed from a car boot sale / art exhibition / camping and outdoor kit avalanche. It's all very neatly arranged in plastic storage boxes, it's just the sheer amount of stuff in the loft.
Blimey, how many people keep their dead relatives in attics then?!
@Pik-n-Mix when is the trial for having all those stored dead relatives?
That 'important stuff that cannot be chucked away' is never coming out of the loft. We're even getting shite off the Mother in law that she doesn't want in her own house but won't throw away. Your Kids wont want it any more than you do.
Smuggle it out slowly and take to the dump, she'll never know.
Blimey, how many people keep their dead relatives in attics then?!
Where else would you keep them? There's no room under the patio
After emptying too many attics of dead relatives I promised myself that I’d never store anything in one
Apart from dead relatives obviously
My wife tells her friends that we have a magic garage, as her dirty bikes get put in there after a ride and when she next goes for a ride it’s clean and fixed.
I haven’t the heart to put her straight.
It was certainly bad enough that even though I finished it two weeks ago my bogies have only just stopped being black.
I also have a magic loft, which is part of the flying freehold so no space. luckily it's boarded already.
No house stuff apart from christmas decorations are allowed in the garage, that is firmly mine!
Luckily My Mrs has fully subscribed to Mary Quando and Mrs Hinch and loves clearing stuff out and cleaning at the moment. lucky
I'm well jel of that massive loft, I need a drift track for my RC's!
Too late for you now, but anyone moving house in future you need to get the word out early to the rest of the family that the loft is non structural and purely space for services. One of your first jobs when you move is to print off an warning sign and stick to the loft hatch. Just tell them it's always been there. Of course, access should always be limited to one person at a time.
I have a danger loft. I’m in danger of dying in my own bed from a car boot sale / art exhibition / camping and outdoor kit avalanche. It’s all very neatly arranged in plastic storage boxes, it’s just the sheer amount of stuff in the loft
Are we married to the same woman? Sod schools or work, the first lockdown I need relaxing is car boot sales!
Moved in here 10 years ago, been in the loft once, nothing stored up there, no intention of ever going up again!.
We had a magic loft until we converted it to a bedroom, we now have a magic storage locker which Covid is hindering the clearance of 2 years past when we should have done it.
After emptying too many attics of dead relatives I promised myself that I’d never store anything in one.
+1 Our previous place had an attic conversion which meant we didn't have a loft. Our current place has a typical space you'd expect in an 80s build. But there is nothing up there except insulation - and that is how it will stay.
"Smuggle it out slowly and take to the dump, she’ll never know"
This.
another magic danger loft here too. I was up there yesterday bringing much of ot down as a new baby arrives in a few weeks so down came the cot, clothes, toys and god knows what.... it seems I now have a magic bedroom and spare room full of all this stuff too. my wife will shortly be appearing on that hoarders tv programme.
I have a magic garage.
I'm apparently not allowed a shed untill I've cleared the garage to make space for what I have.
I refuse to clear the garage as it's mostly full of shit that she has decreed is "outside" stuff that cant go in the magic loft, which when we bought the house was earmarked as a cinema room!
There's mountains of 10% full tins of paint, gardening tools (seriously, this is why people have sheds).
It's so tight in there you have to push/pull the car in and out.
I have some serious loft envy Mr Munro.
I'd love a Magical Hobby Loft™ (Magical denotes that it would indeed be Magical, rather than just magic). Velux, model making bench, shelving for unbuilt kits, model paint rack with brush holder, display space for finished kits etc... Would also have a permanent Scalextric set up on trestles rather than on the floor. Most importantly the hatch would have a lock.
Presently I have two sheds, but my good lady wife wants to get rid of one so that we can have a fourth patio/deck area. This will no doubt mean that the remaining shed (6x4 and home to 5 bikes) would have to become magic, like the loft.
I'm very rarely envious of things other folk have but I'm officially envious of Munrobikers loft, oh how I wish ours was more like that and not as Harry described his
Some of us don't have a loft.
I have a basement. Its exactly the same size and layout as my flat. It has a door and everything. i have a bike room a store room and a workshop plus a system of smaller passageways and tooms i call the fritzl suite.
Whats magic about ut is that after 5years i still haven't made it nit shit and damp.
nothing at all in our loft.
the 4 rooms of the cellar however 😮
Due to the layout of our house we have two lofts, one with a tiny hatch that isn't boarded and and one with a proper sized door and boarded. We've not done too bad, old accounts, Christmas stuff, spare tiles/floor boards and that's about it.
when is the trial for having all those stored dead relatives?
Why do you think I had to empty them?Oldtennisshoes is my accomplice, I’m throwing him under the bus.
I’m clean officer.
i still haven’t made it (k)nit shit
?
Mind.
Boggled.
I always wonder every time we clear our loft out why we took it up there in the first place. You'd have thought lugging it up in the first place would have been enough deterrent to doing it but no. Garage is definitely my domain though, that is tidy, organised and full of useful stuff.
This thread is great. We have a decent sized roof space (not loft or attic in this house) but the roof joists are so warped it's not funny. There's an ever widening distancing on the ceiling above our bed where the two pieces of wallpaper meet and then go around the plaster ceiling rose. However our ceilings are all lathe and plaster so are probably just a bit dried out...I hope!!
It is also full of stuff that must not be thrown out, ever, as decreed by the child who loves to go up there and "find" things I have tried to hide.
Would love a roof space like Munrobiker's unfortunately the extra struts mean we don't have a clear run of floor space.
I have a magic loft, in that I have no idea how the house is watertight. The roof let's in so much light I don't need to turn the light on.
It’s so tight in there you have to push/pull the car in and out.
You can get a car in it?
In theory I can just shove stuff through the hatch and it disappears.
That does require a good storm mind you.
Flat roof special feature.
Lofts and cellars.
Full of stuff.
Box of curtains the kids "might want" - check.
Ski kit - unused since moving here - check.
A box of headrests for cars no longer owned - check.
My loft is magic too.
Mind you. You should see the shed. Completely filled with useless crap. The piece de resistance is the inflatable 4m diameter swimming pool which needs a filtration system. There is no such system at the property. Nor is the garden large enough to fit a 4m diameter pool.
Does anyone want an vintage ladies shopping bike with no parts of a current standard? Half a pair of secateurs? A box of 50 white plastic bar grips you would never use on your own bike?
My loft is magic in that I'm ****ing amazed nothing has fallen through it yet. 6 full bikes up there, countless books, 2 desks, tools, a bench drill (proper Startrite Mercury), IKEA unit full of consoles and TV, cds, dvds and a million other things.
It's so full I just stand on the ladder and throw new stuff over the junk near the hatch to land on the oldest junk at the back. I plough a path to the Christmas decorations every December. Most of the 'spare' wallpaper, rolled up rugs and carpet offcuts don't match the current decor and all of the paint will have dried on the tins. Bashed lampshades, Nokia phones, faulty film cameras, roof racks, old Hi-Fi, records and cassettes, VHS Videos, expensive SCART leads, broken tents, kiddy clothes, 4 x winter wheels & tyres that don't fit the current car, damaged suitcases, my deceased MIL's favourite hat and her wedding dress, a dog guard for a 1999 Audi A4 and off cuts from long replaced DIY projects are some of pointless crap that come to mind. There must be a couple of tons up there and it isn't a load bearing floor. There's a heavy wooden drawer full of Haynes manuals (including a Peugeot 104), various 1980s car magazines and a Kylie calendar strategically placed directly above my side of the bed. If the ceiling collapses, my last moment will be happy and someone else can clear up decades of detritus after my funeral.