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Mrs RNP has been done again for speeding this morning - now up to 9 points. Including the two driving awareness courses completed.
I'm continuously telling her to slow down if she's driving but I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
She's a going at a million miles an hour type person and always busy with loads on the go which translates to her driving as well.
She's adamant she's a good driver and I'm Captain slow and overly cautious (0points) but the government clearly disagrees with her!
How do you change someone's mind/point of view when multiple points/awareness courses havnt even with the threat from the inevitable 12 month ban?
As a sticking plaster we are looking at phone GPS apps that will signify speed limit changes. Any other ideas? Training?
Get her a bike
Get her a 1981 Austin mini-Metro.
I tried my best to speed in mine. Never managed it.
As a sticking plaster we are looking at phone GPS apps that will signify speed limit changes.
Hint: there are handy reminders alongside every road. If she's not seeing them then what else is she missing?
How much has your insurance increased? Is there no financial incentive for her to moderate her behaviour? Will there be once she gets another three points - or has an accident that affects her ability to earn?
Unfortunately, other than refusing to get in a car with her driving if she continues to speed and / or refusing to allow your children to get in the car with her (if you have them) it's may just be a case of waiting until she gets banned / ends up in court / has a serious accident and finally wakes up to the fact.
Unfortunately some people just won't be told / accept that their driving isn't perfect as they are under the impression that they are indestructible and the best drivers ever until the inevitable happens. If a couple of speed awareness courses haven't changed her driving I doubt much else will as from what I understand they can be quite graphic.
Does she drive a Focus ST ?
Is she in the RAF?
9pts puts her into a fairly serious position in some ways - insurance premiums will go up I would have thought and one more ticket of any sort equals a ban. If she hasn't changed her behaviour yet then she won't until she is banned.
Refuse to allow the kids or yourself in the car with her driving? Just wait until she is banned then laugh at her as she has to get the bus? Warn the police about her so she does get caught again?
People generally don't change habits until they believe it's something they need to do
2speeding fines in her MX5, sold that and bought her a Volvo estate with the least powerful engine they do in it in an effort to slow her down- result 3speeding fines!
I think we are heading to the inevitable 12points/ban and loss of job.
I have the CoPilot satnav app on my phone, you can set it to give an audible alert at selected levels below, at or above the speed limit. I guess that or similar might help, but given that she's on 9 points already, possibly not.
Have you had an grown-up chat about the day-to-day consequences of her being banned from driving rather than just the vague 'it'll be a really bad thing'
Years ago, when I was a young, aggressive, hard-riding, motorcycle road tester, I spent a couple of years with 9 points on my licence. I got very good at not breaking the speed limit in stupid places mostly because I was acutely aware that being nicked would mean losing my job.
I wasn't bothered about the fines or the technicalities of breaking the law, but the likely consequences were an effective disincentive to getting done again. I guess that's not much help if she simply doesn't care about losing a serious amount of independence, being reliant on you to do all the driving etc, not to mention the insurance loading, but you could at least flag up what being banned means in a practical sense if you haven't already.
Mostly obvious I know.
<b>50cc moped. </b>
Is it a base model premium car, or something middle of the road, spec'd up to its eyeballs?
What if she kills a kid?
or has an accident that affects her ability to earn?
Or more importantly has an accident that ****s someone else’s life up...
I had to read the subject again as I first read it as Habitual spending wife and thought i might be able to contribute.
Should be three strikes and your out. Forget having a license for 5 years if you cant control your inability to stay legal.
What are the financial consequences to you/your family if she does lose her job? (I'm assuming from your statement that a driving licence is a requirement for said employment). Spell it out to her: no holidays; won't be able to afford the mortgage so will have to move to a cheaper house; that sort of thing. Buy her some driving lessons for her birthday - OK, maybe not 😐
Oh, nine points and two speed awareness courses means she's already been caught speeding five times.
no pudding?
time to call Jonv to the thread?
Is she speeding wilfully or obliviously?
I think we are heading to the inevitable 12points/ban and loss of job.
Don't tell her this, but if a ban would mean certain loss of job, that could fall under "unnecessary hardship" and she'll just get a mahoosive fine instead.
Let her loose the licence...
It will be your fault...
You will be expected to sort out the problem...
It will be your fault...
Ohh forgot to say it will be your fault...
I’d be firing up Word and getting her down the magistrates court to find out about her 2 year ban and massive fine...
I’m sure she’ll see the funny side eventually!
This is like one of those drink problems threads 🙁 . I'm not sure there is anything you can do to prevent it but rather just prepare to help them through the loss of job etc. It's crap really. The app might help but I woukdnt put money on it, it might just delay the inevitable. I would be using the app and also doing the driving at every possible opportunity just to put that day off
Yeah, just a little longer and she’ll get a ban no doubt. Better that she’s off the road anyway, she sounds like a proper tool.
someone called........
Still waiting to see what my heavy right footed spouse is in for. Unless she's not letting on however, this is her first.
Tough tits.
(someone had to say it)
I see no reason for speeding in any shape nor reason for.
Get her off the road if she can’t drive safely.. by the looks of it it will fairly soon.
My car has a function to limit the speed on it, yes you have to set it and change it as the limits change, but I quite like being able to slap in the limit (+x% if I'm feeling cheeky) and then not look at the speedo until the next limit change...
0 points on my license in a decade of driving so far...
Or more importantly has an accident that **** someone else’s life up…
I'd not disagree with the fact that's more important but it's unlikely to be a massive disincentive to a habitual speeder.
Tell her she will probably have to re-take her test (theory and practical) after her inevitable ban arrives.
Get her a driving test theory book, wrap it up nicely and give it to her on a special occasion in front of friends and family.
Or get yourself banned from driving - she may slow down if you are not availablle as fallback chauffeur!
Sell her car and tell her she can have another one when she learns to act like an adult. Until then it’s the bus, train or a shitty moped.
Throw yourself in front of her car. Your inevitable death will be a lesson about the dangers of excess speed.
Sobriety, that sounds like a stupid idea. Just how well are you paying attention to the road as you **** around with the limit settings? Badly I'd imagine. This also indicates a lack of awareness of what your doing if you cannot keep the car to a speed without help.
RNP, might she benefit from exploring her need for speed in a controlled environment? I.e. on track. Maybe that would help her get it out of her system.
Ah, thought this was about drugs. I'm out!
The weird thing about speeding is that it doesn't really get you anywhere quicker. Once you count in getting stuck behind other cars, junctions, traffic lights, stopping at the shops or motorway services, finding a parking place blah blah blah.. You're maybe home 20 seconds earlier?
Even on a clear, empty, non stop straight piece of road 60 miles long @ 60mph = 60 minutes
Go @ 70 (10 mph faster) and you arrive 8:30 earlier
80mph = 15 minutes earlier
And that's ideal conditions.... which never happen in real life.
So, you can save maybe 10 minutes or less for going 20 mph over the speed limit.
New patio time.....
Could you have the ECU in the Volvo tweaked to reduce the power output. Like remapping, but making it slower rather than faster.
Do it bit-by-bit over a few weeks so she won't notice.
I have always been a habitual speeder of the speed limit plus 10 mph ( outside of 30 / 40 limits) plus outright fast driving in appropriate places. I got 6 pts a couple of years ago. Now I no longer speed at all. I rely on using hire cars and 9pts stops you hiring
One interesting aspect of this is driving becomes a lot less stressful especially on the A9 - no longer searchging for overtakes and constantly being slowed by other vehicles - simply set the cruise control to the speed limit and cruise.
Perhaps yo could sell the idea of not speeding on these grounds? was the speeding in 30 limits or open roads -to me morally thats a huge difference. If it was in urban limits I would refuse to ever get in a car with her driving
9 points and two speed awareness courses means in the eyes of the court, when she inevitably kills someone, she'll probably end up in jail.
Take out a spark plug, less cylinders working the slower she'll go....... Simples
So it might be you returning from a ride, and the missus is going too fast and wipes you out round the corner from home ?
Let her get banned - one more she'll be in bother. She might just kill someone
This sounds terrible, but if she won’t be told then let her get banned. My BIL got a ticket a few years ago, from a fixed camera about half a mile away from his house, on a road he uses every single day.
then he got another, from a fixed camera, on a road he uses every single day.
then a third, you’ve guessed it, from a fixed camera, on a road he uses every single day.
luckily, his mother, who controls the purse strings, was able to point out the reality of getting on a bus to go to work and he appears to have slowed down.
so, you either need to tell her, or the government will.
at the very least, if she could calm it in town and past cameras, that would be a start.
best of luck, i sincerely hope you succeed.
@yourguitarhero - true. There's very little difference in normal driving conditions. Last Friday I had to go up to Staveley nr Kendal for a meeting. Heading up the A65 there was a lot of traffic including farm vehicles so in some places where the NSL applies I was doing 20mph. Skipton to Staveley took 1hr15. The drive back was virtually clear and I was at or over the NSL for most of the non-restricted sections. That journey took 1hr10. Five minutes difference yet if I hadn't noted the times and you'd asked me I'd have said the difference was nearer to 15mins.
She doesnt speed in built up areas which is kinda the annoying thing as she can do it - its more when the road almost encourages you to- ie non residential wide A roads, town bypasses, dual carriageways with lower limits etc. She knows the speed limits for the roads as theyve all been local roads she's been done on by the mobile vans each time but each one has been 1 or 2mph above the allowed limits.
Great with cyclists on the roads - plenty of patience and leaves a huge gap when overtaking them as she knows I commute by bike everyday.
Just need her to bloody slow down.
Hide her car keys for a week and under no circumstances let her have them or let her use your car.It will give her a taste of things to come if she doesn't change her ways.Or get someone to ring her at work and tell her your child has been hit by a speeding driver.
Get her a log-in for this place. The first time she comes on to whine about her bad luck getting pinged again will be a bit of a eye-opener.
'Disable' her car for a week or two before you get it 'fixed'. The realities of losing her precious freedom for an extended period might just wake her up to the consequences of a ban, even if she's too pig-headed, even after two speed awareness courses, to realise the danger she is to others.
obriety, that sounds like a stupid idea. Just how well are you paying attention to the road as you **** around with the limit settings? Badly I’d imagine. This also indicates a lack of awareness of what your doing if you cannot keep the car to a speed without help
They’re great. Work just the same as cruise control. An up down button on a stalk that you use to increase decrease the speed plus on/off. Glance at your speedo (as you should be doing regularly, hit the set button as your speed drops to the limit. Another tap when the limit goes up. Then you can focus on whats going on around you and not your speedo safe in the knowledge that you’re not driving above the limit.
I use cruise most of the time in 20 - 40 limits. If you need to be driving less than the limit a tap of the brake disengages, when conditions clear you just tap resume.
I guess the other approach, given that her speeding seems to be a function of her being
' a going at a million miles an hour type person and always busy with loads on the go which translates to her driving as well' might be some sort of counselling or therapy to try and divorce (sorry) her general approach to life from her driving.As someone's said already, driving fast mostly doesn't actually result in shorter journey times. Maybe starting journeys earlier than needed with take some of the perceived urgency out of the equation. Maybe there are mental techniques she could use.
If she's naturally curious, she might find it an interesting process. Is there a pattern to her speeding or does she just drive fast all the time? If it only happens in certain situations - if she feels she's late for example - then that's something to work with.
Anyway, just a thought. Of course if she doesn't view it as a problem, it's probably a non-starter.
Edit: having read your last post, probably not.
Unfortunately, the OP will still be at fault - prepare for big ear ache.
30 years of driving, not one point. I get the 'fun' out on the pedal bikes.
Fortunately, my missus is a safe driver, as she's seen me injured too many times by poor driving - this last time was a bit too close to being in a wheelchair - far too close.
RNP, that actually makes it harder than if she was just foot flat down everywhere.
try focusing on the positive aspects more, but still quietly mentioning the current speed limit if necessary.
my wife pointed out to me (later) how fast i was going when i overtook a car, it wasn’t enough to get an automatic ban, but would definitely have got the attention of the police, I actually didn’t believe her at first because it didn’t seem that fast.
but it has made me pay more attention to my speed, even though I’ve never even been stopped, let alone had a ticket.
best of luck.
For the OP I’d go with aftermarket SATNAV - a basic Garmin can give alerts at the limit and displays the speed limit on screen all the time for reference. If she’s an idiot who think speeding is acceptable then this wont make a difference.
how about an insurance telematics black box?
Yeah, just a little longer and she’ll get a ban no doubt. Better that she’s off the road anyway, she sounds like a proper tool.
This really. Interesting that we're focusing on the wife here rather than the general public that has to share a road with her. My advice would be to see if you can encourage her to speed again somewhere where she is no danger to anyone but likely to get caught. Then she'll get a ban and the rest of us can go about our lives slightly more safely.
She doesnt speed in built up areas
How do you know ?
I’m not going to probe anymore into your life/lifestyle but I ask the question because when you are not in the car, or when she’s taking other passengers, how do you know she’s not speeding in built up areas ?
Some people think they are above the law and disregard any help and assistance when offered.
She has a lesson to learn.
This really. Interesting that we’re focusing on the wife here rather than the general public that has to share a road with her.
I think actually we're empathising with the OP and trying to help him find a solution that'll stop his wife from her habitual speeding. And here's the thing, if she stops speeding, then that - in your interpretation - makes her a safer driver, job done. Everyone happy.
The whole 'she deserves to learn a lesson' slant misses the point that having been done for speeding three times she hasn't 'leant a lesson' and there's no guarantee that banning her will teach her a lesson either.
Where do you live - we have a static caravan in N Wales, and you don't speed as the Police there hide cameras for big money earners. The Police in the Village our caravan in have better resources than Greater Manchester Police. LOL
The Police in the Village our caravan in have better resources than Greater Manchester Police. LOl
dont let the facts get in the way of you. The police don’t get to keep speeding fines - the6 go to the treasury.
each one has been 1 or 2mph above the allowed limits.
If you mean the posted limit, that's really unusual and could have been challenged (especially with the mobile units that can be less accurate than fixed cameras in normal use). At 6 points, it would have been worth the risk of a higher fine.
If you mean she was over the 10%+2 threshold that is often used then that takes her a long way over. You are talking 70mph in a 60 limit. Those are enforcement thresholds, not speed limits.
0 points on my license in a decade of driving so far…
0 points in over 4 decades here, with no gizmos to remind me not to speed. I reckon she's going to lose her licence.
Let her lose her licence, refuse to drive her anywhere. If she won't listen to reason then she only has herself to blame. She sounds like she needs a hoof in the slats.
Divorce her.
We all speed. Any driver who says they don't is a liar. What is very concerning though is the OP's wife's lack of awareness at what is going on around her. She's best off off the road ASAP.
**** her!
Would she accept an assessment from an expert driver? The IAM offer something along those lines and deliver pretty clear verdicts on observation skills, anticipation, smooth use of controls etc.
I guess if she has found nothing to take on board from 2 speed awareness courses, then probably not...but a more practical approach might help?
Show her the worst examples of Russian dashcam footage on YouTube....the majority of which shows the consequences not just of breaking speed limits, but inappropriate use of speed and excessive closing speeds between vehicles. I'd say that it is this, combined with the need to retain moral high ground over my own Mrs' 2 fines and a course that made me start taking limits more seriously.
https://www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/drive-check-plus
if she's as good as she says she is, she has no reason to refuse....
Speeding where it's safe to do so (ie NOT IN A 20 or 30 (and mostly 40) MPH zones) i have no problem with. Speeding and completely failing to notice the MASSIVELY OBVIOUS cameras or Cops i do have a problem with. Lets face it, they don't exactly hide the camera's now do they!
So, get her booked on a local driving course pronto (there are plenty of courses for people who already "know" how to drive). Alternatively, as you know her route home, hide behind a parked car and as she zooms past, throw a lifesized cardboard cut out "dummy" of one of your kids in front of her. That ought to do the trick as they bounce of the windscreen.........
I assume that apart from losing 2 half days to the speed awareness courses there has'nt actually been any direct consequences to her lifestyle for her speeding .
She sees nothing wrong with it.Why would she change?
Some people have to learn the hard way.Hopefully this won't involve either her or another innocent party being injured,
We all speed. Any driver who says they don’t is a liar.........
Brave words for here. I take my hat off to you.
suburbanruban
Nope - not all drivers speed. I don't drive a lot but I haven't broken a speed limit in 3 years now. Even 20 mph ones. Scotroutes of this parish is another who doesn't break speed limits - I have been a passenger with him
It was actually discussions wi9th him that changed my attitude to driving the A9 - he challenged me to try driving at or below the limit. It takes only maybe 15 mins more to inverness than driving at speed limit plus 10 mph that I used to do ( but an hour and a half more than really blasting on a motorbike 😉 ) and is so much less stressful I almost had trouble staying awake.
Do you each have a car ? I would prepare for the inevitable and make sure your Insurance isn't screwed by a wife with a ban , have a mental plan in place for childcare etc
Good luck
plumslikerocks/
^ thanks for the link
We all speed. Any driver who says they don’t is a liar.
Do we? I don't intentionally and if I realise I have crept above the limit** take immediate action to remedy the problem. It is the "everyone does it" and "its OK to go 10%+2 above the limit" views which make people believe its acceptable.
In the 1960s "everyone" used to drink drive too.
** yes I mean the actual limit as displayed on my speedo not some self justification that my speedo slightly over reads and the police have a tolerance for prosecution.
My wife wrote off 3 cars in 6 months.
The worst was when she somersaulted the car and put our 2 kids in hospital.
But she was always a petrolhead. Her best accident was at a speedway meet when she was piloting a sidecar outfit. Her passenger got so terrified that she jumped off and my wife ended up rolling the outfit and losing about a square foot of skin off her back, and worse, wrecking a new leather jacket.
She eventually learned that a throttle isn't an on/off switch but has intermediate positions....
Time to buy her a bike lmao 😀
She needs a change in attitude.
She may think she is speeding safely, but she hasn't been good enough to spot the camera vans, point that out.
each one has been 1 or 2mph above the allowed limits.
Maybe one or two mph over the threshold but several mph over the limit. Take speedo over-reading into account and she will have been noticeably over.
This sounds terrible, but if she won’t be told then let her get banned.
This may be the only course of action. Get caught once; reign it in. Get caught twice; drive like a saint. Three times? Have a word!
Poly
correct.
Many people fail to see the difference between the speed limit and the 10%+2mph where the police will act.
Just because they may not take action at 5% doesn’t make it legal.
I would say there aren’t many drivers who never ever speed, but I actually feel that situation is improving generally.
Work have these boxes that plug into the car but also have gps and scream at you in beep form when you are breaking the speed limit.
still if she is committed then she won't use anything. Just let her get the ban and the bus...
it wont be pleasant and probably still your fault but not much you can do only she can do it for herself
Nope – not all drivers speed. I don’t drive a lot but I haven’t broken a speed limit in 3 years now. Even 20 mph ones. Scotroutes of this parish is another who doesn’t break speed limits – I have been a passenger with him
They may not habitually speed, but they will, at some point have inadvertently broken the speed limit. Even if they correct it upon noticing as poly suggests, they must have broken the limit to have something to correct in the first place.
nope - I very much doubt scotroutes has and I know I haven't
nope – I very much doubt scotroutes has and I know I haven’t
Well, either you gave a different definition of the word “never” than most people do, or I simply don’t believe you.
Its not difficult. Check the speed limit for the area, set cruise control / speed limiter to suit. Just because you find something impossible does not mean it is.
Book her an advanced driving course , they'll teach her how to safely make progress .
I’ve never knowingly broken a speed limit. I normally drive slightly below the limit (clue in the name) and regularly check my speed. I may have inadvertently crept over a limit without realising it every now and then, but I’m not aware of ever doing this. Why do some folk find it difficult to believe that some of us are happy to drive at or under (conditions dictating) the posted limit?