[Closed] Grooming, erm, "down below" as preparation for the snip... Advice wanted!

Be a man:

[img] [/img]

100% coverage. Or rather removal.

It gives you something to talk to the nurses about whilst the baby moles being attacked.

Just a general tidy up, they will remove all that is required for the actual op. I had mine done at this time of year, the most surreal thing ever having the snip whilst discussing the merits of various Christmas songs that came on the radio during the op. The surgeon had never heard 'Fairy tale of New York' much to the disbelief of the nurses!!

do nothing. If they need to "clear the LZ" they'll do it.

you know that nurses on Vasectomy clinics take pictures of "topiary" right?

Use Baby Powder or unscented Talc instead of soap to shave 'down there'

I had to remove it all for a very low Hernia operation many years ago and Baby Powder made it surprisingly easy and free from soreness after.

Hedge trimmers then a good coating of [url= https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK ]Veet[/url]

I think you should leave it to the professionals aka the doctors and nurses.

For me, the line diagram showed where to apply the Veet and plaster. All provided by the clinic in advance.

3M spraymount and a lighter

They go in from the front either side of your old gentleman so maybe tidy things up there.

See, I was told no veet in the interview. And if they shave it for you, why ask you to shave?

Anyway, I've started hacking away at the thickest in order to comprehend the task better.

Keep the help coming!

You could always wax,it will last longer than shaving.

Ah well, if they've asked you then I suggest you use the Turkish barber approach aka bush fire.

Veet FTW! I got the OH to do it 😈

I've started hacking away at the thickest in order to comprehend the task better.

[img] [/img]

The OP earlier 😛

Just remember, there's going to be a gauze dressing (with dried blood), possibly held on with micropore tape.
It's up to you if you want hair to be in the vicinity when you're trying to remove that! 😯

They go in from the front either side of your old gentleman so maybe tidy things up there.

Precisely, but the info sheet I was given didn't make it 100% clear. Think they need some help from here to come up with a memorable explanation.

I still maintain 'in for a penny in for a pound' though 😀

I still maintain 'in for a penny in for a pound' though

Op
How handy are you with a blowtorch?

How handy are you with a blowtorch?

Let them do it.

I was told not to for mine, the guy sorted it himself, quite matter of factly, bit like a cock barber.

Seems an odd choice of specialism to me, but each to their own.

I keep mine trimmed anyway, all smooth due to the fact the lady "likes it that way, and I do it for you, you should make an effort for me too".

I tend to just use a womans Venus razor, and a pair of beard clippers if I need to manscape the area occasionally. My normal shower gel works for me to lubricate the area, followed by baby oil afterwards to soothen any redness (rarely happens, but new blades etc...)

Holding the chap taught usually is enough to get the scrotal area enough tight for me to get a reasonable finish.

grade 2 all over, means ALL over.

if you had stuck to that, you wouldnt need the hedge trimmer, straight to the safety razor and the pretty pattern bit.

I still maintain 'in for a penny in for a pound' though

He's more likely to find a stray clagnut in there.

Do round your arsehole as well then use some of that original source mint shower gel in the shower afterwards. Sensational!

[url= https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Hair-Removal-Cream-200ml/dp/B00KX3PF22/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=drugstore&ie=UTF8&qid=1481727252&sr=1-2&keywords=veet ]Some satisfied customers...[/url]

Had an operation on a varicocele many years ago (google if you must, image search not advised), and was woken up, morning of the op, by a guy fixing a leather strop* onto the metal bedframe above my head. He then proceeded to sharpen his razor above my face.

I asked him what he was doing and he replied he was going to give me a shave. Puzzled I stroked my smooth chin. The penny dropped. I said there was absolutely no need as they were going in via my abdomen. Cut no ice. As I was being, erm, manhandled, I noticed his hospital badge "Hairdresser"...

Apparently he used to work in the hospital (Jimmy's, Leeds) barbers, but these days it was pretty much just pubes. There's a job for you.

I've no idea why I typed that, let alone am going to click "Send Post"

*heavy leather strap used for sharpening cut-throat razors

I think Dude's just been waiting for this thread so he can come clean about his deviant practices.

Do you stick paste gemstones on your biffins bridge to add to the allure?

Got my snip coming up on 30 Dec (three weeks before the Puffer, should be an interesting challenge) so reading this with interest. I didn't get any sort of info sheet so was intending to turn up full Chewbacca. Now contemplating some general tidy up.

When I went in for my hernia op the advice was not to shave or remove anything as there was an infection risk. They will trim what they need to get the job done.

As for a haircut, a pair of good hairdressing or sharp scissors is enough, if you want something closer a normal razor is fine provided you keep everything tight. Source: Working in 40-60deg heat.

followed by baby oil afterwards

Deviant does not come close.

How do you stay on your bike with your oily ballsack?

Right, exploratory trimmage complete with only a couple of nicks to show for it. Now something sharper, but today? Or Saturday night/sunday morn

And how the hell do I shave, erm well, the dangly bits? Saw the advice about stretching them tight, but huh? Sounds like dissecting mice in gcse biology. Do I need to pin them to a chopping board? 😆

Do I need to pin them to a chopping board?

Absolutely correct. Let us know how that works out for you.

a nice heart shape - then you can get the old boy to "point" to whoever you're trying to impress

I'm not taking my dad into the operating theatre!

It was the "bring some suitable reading matter" that concerned me!

I went for the full monty with help from the Mrs.

Immac - it's a revelation afterwards, like having a new friend down there and quite enjoyable actually! 😀

I didn't maintain the sleek look though. Too much maintenance.

And for the chap doing the Puffer three weeks after the Op - good luck... I commuted 4 miles two weeks after and it was agony!!

How long before the op did you do it?

I don't envy you. Must be like trying to shave your elbows.

Peyronie's, Cougar ?

just googled male pubic shaving :oops:8O

Peyronie's, Cougar ?

Could be like shaving a pair o' knees also, yes.

If its any consolation Rich I had to do the full thatch removal for my double hernia Op 6 years ago and was complemented on what a thorough job of it I had done by the nurse who checked it on the day of the Op 😮

I also used one of those Venus razors to start with but after 1 slight shaky moment with the nutsack I resorted to the Veet & It was shockingly easy, just remember to rinse a lot or it will burn like hell.
TBH the stubble regrowth was bloody awful.

Can't you just tell Tor you've bought her another bike for "her" to use 😉
No need for the snip then as your balls will be in your mouth 😀

I have a Wahl beard trimmer, which is extremely effective if used on taut, dry, sun-toughened facial skin. But if you use it on loose damp wrinkly skin it cuts painfully and bloodily. Guess how I know this?

A mate of mine was trimming down below with a beard trimmer for his snip when he managed to slice his ballsack open - cue panicky drive by his wife to get him to A&E so the nurses could [s]take the piss mercilessly[/s] clean up the mess! 😆

Shocking hand/eye coordination for a BA pilot. 🙄

[img] [/img]

+

[img] [/img]

You're welcome

theotherjonv - Member
I think Dude's just been waiting for this thread so he can come clean about his deviant practices.

😯 deviant???! Are you being serious?! 😆

Tbh I think immac/etc is going to be the tool of choice for my, er, tool.

Just hope I don't react too badly! Might have to involve the missus in the process too...

Right, exploratory trimmage complete with only a couple of nicks to show for it. Now something sharper, but today? Or Saturday night/sunday morn

And how the hell do I shave, erm well, the dangly bits? Saw the advice about stretching them tight, but huh? Sounds like dissecting mice in gcse biology. Do I need to pin them to a chopping board?
Oh come on! It shouldn't be necessary to explain to a grown man how to pull slack skin tight to allow it to be shaved properly!
🙄

 

Don't get why some blokes worry themselves about shaving their sack. Women manage it and there's a lot more dangly bits to catch the blade on than the average sack, even if you've got pendulum balls.

Take your fingers, form a ring around the base of your scrotum and pull the skin taut. It should then be tight enough to shave but not so tight you render the point of the vasectomy moot.

If you make a mistake and cut anything off this is ideal for repairs......

[img] [/img]

Not particulary relevent but back in the day I was at a party in London at a Nurses college (balwick/Balham?) accomdation and was kinda chatting up a nurse.

Conversation got onto the snip and shaving down there and I asked her do they teach mundane stuff like that or are they left to their own devices and how the flip do they shave the crinkly ballsack?

With a twinkle in her eye she said she'd show me - and chuckled a bit. Fortunatly I wasn't so leathered that all my wits had left me, and I was trying to find a way to politely refuse but still keep the conversation going when the pair of us clapped eyes on a mate who had been around soho earlier (I was off playing lax for a local team) and was passed out in a corner.

I had to find a towel, razor and some foam and she would shave him ready for the snip.

It wasn't too hard to get the items but in the process most people in the party heard and came over to watch.

In THE least sexual manner possible she dropped his trous, lathered him up and then grabbed a bollock and pulled it really, really tight and ran the razor in swift upwards motions (agsinst the grain)over the taut sack.

There was a slight frown of concentration from the victim.

She proceeded to grab tyhe other bollock and do the same, then wrenched the plod skyhigh and ploughed through the main bush like a joyrider.

Trous back up and he was left there until the following morning (I didn't pull that nurse, I strongly suspect she had never been trained on preparing someone for the snip either).

Following day - matey bubbles woke up and went for a piss - thunderous piss which stopped half way with a slight "HUH!" noise.

He never mentioned it (and nor did we) but the next 3 weeks involves even more furtive scratching of his groin than usual.

A shame it was back in about 93 before everyone and his mate had phones with cameras.

Never against the grain. Can cause ingrown hairs, same as shaving your face.

Do round your arsehole as well then use some of that original source mint shower gel in the shower afterwards. Sensational!

Bloody brilliant....just spat my dinner out everywhere laughing at this!

I'm guessing that the OP doesn't manscape at the mo!

Clippers and trim to a 1 all over then get some Very and go from there...dead smooth and simple.

A razor works but it isn't a properly smooth finish for more than a half hour.

I did not shave and nor was I shaved by anyone else for my Vaz butchering. The incision is tiny and there is only 3 or 4 stitches on each side.
I did the Dyfi Ebduro 10 days later with no serious issues. I would however caution at following inexperienced riders who baulk at steps mid way and cause you to connect with your stem. They will never know the pain they caused me as I could not speak.
Oh and it does reduce your bedroom vigor to slower more gentle strokes - no pornstar rabbit speed action.

Well, many thanks for the advice folks. Project deforestation is pretty much complete, so we're at the "last turkey in the shop" sort of stage.

Wish me luck for Sunday! 😛

Im having mine on Saturday

they told me I dont need to bother, does that mean the nurses do it for me?

"last turkey in the shop"

Finest blackadder quote ever...

does that mean the nurses do it for me?

You'd better hope so, unless they're going to pass you a cut throat and tell you to get on with it... 😯

Bonne chance - feel free to post up how you're doing sat eve/sun morn just to keep me motivated...

they told me I dont need to bother, does that mean the nurses do it for me?

Nope. They're going in through the end. 😯

does that mean the nurses do it for me?

[img] [/img]

Finest blackadder quote ever...

Kryten in Red Dwarf. "Last chicken in Sainsbury's."

- feel free to post up how you're doing sat eve/sun morn just to keep me motivated...

pictures or not?

@cougar

I stand corrected...I thought it was blackadder.. 😐

*edit*
I'm right...

Captain Blackadder: Good thing the horny old blighter didn't ask you to marry him.
[George makes a smug face]
Captain Blackadder: He did? Well, how did you get out of that one?
Lieutenant George: Well, to be honest, sir, I'm not completely certain that I did.
Captain Blackadder: WHAT? You said YES?
Lieutenant George: Well, sir, I didn't feel that I could refuse. I mean, he is a general, he might have me court martialled!
Captain Blackadder: Where as he's going to give you the Victoria Cross when he lifts up your frock on the wedding night, and finds himself looking at the last turkey in the shop!

pictures or not?

@cougar

I stand corrected...I thought it was blackadder..

*edit*
I'm right...

Think you both might be wrong.
Pretty sure that the "last chicken in Sainsburys" line was first cracked as part of the Billy Connolly routine about shampoo for pubic hair.

"I've got pigtails in mine..... Willie Nelson"

😕

Clearly a poached line of, err, lines.

Think you both might be wrong.
Pretty sure that the "last chicken in Sainsburys" line was first cracked as part of the Billy Connolly routine about shampoo for pubic hair.

Well, I misremembered Kryten's quote (it's "in the shop" rather than "Sainsbury's"). Sainsbury's does indeed come from Billy Connolly.

as far as I can Google, credit does go to Blackadder. Blackadder was 1989, Red Dwarf 1991, and the Big Yin on Parkinson in 2004.

BC could have been using it for years prior to that though, it's hard to tell.

Connolly probably had a gag about McBawbags butchers having the last chicken in 1978.... 😆

T - 3 hours

It's no great drama. One small prick and you won't feel a thing.

T - 3 hours

"Bit cold in here."

Ibuprofen, BEFORE the op. you can thank me later.

A bag of frozen peas for afterwards.

Chill your beans.

Well other than the smell of burning tubes as they cauterised them it was a bit of anti climax.
The initial local injection was a brief sting that was the worst bit
Keyhole, so tiny wound, no shaving required

I was in and out in under an hour

Little kimbers rapidly retreated and became micro kimbers, but the nurse was professional throughout, obvs.

The doc was an ex bowel surgeon, which was quite reassuring I came away with his email and a list of journal article he authored as he has developed his own system for bowel cancer diagnosis, which is related to my work 😯

Worst bit is no riding for 4 weeks apparently !!! Hopefully be ok by me year for a blast a ride out.

The doc was an ex bowel surgeon, which was quite reassuring

I bet he's seen some shit in his career. 😉