[Closed] Going to war with your next door neighbours?

If you need to sell your house, and prospective buyers ask if you have had problems with neighbours, wouldn't you like to be able to say "no"?

Its pointless unless you think it will make them move and /or change.

Surely life, if not this place, has taught you that unreasonable people are always unreasonable.

If you need to sell your house, and prospective buyers ask if you have had problems with neighbours, wouldn't you like to be able to say "no"?

I'm sure he will do that anyway.

More details of their passive aggressive transgressions please - have they been parking in your bit of road outside your gaff again? Or playing Classic FM loudly in the garden?

You have to be prepared for a long drawn out war of attrition and hope they aren't prepared to put more effort into it than you.

eating really smelly houmous loudly in the garden? 😉

You're doing it all wrong.

You need to start your 6000 word essay with "long story short....."

And then tell us all in confusing detail, everything that's happened.

The more confusing and difficult to read it is, the more responses you will get.

e- mail me binners and I will type it without any punctuation

It never starts out as a full on war but it can end that way. Even if you win they are still your neighbour. However, neither can you let certain things pass without comment or some degree of pushback.

We've had a border dispute with a "sort of neighbour" who also had a border dispute with their literal next-door neighbour. It's boring but we couldn't have people enlarging their property / creating an access at our expense.

We also had a noise issue at a different property which was actually solved by getting the local authority involved. They are actually legally obliged to follow up in certain circumstances which is great as it's third-party and at their expense. So it depends what the nature of the PITA behaviour is.

Hmm. Some neighbours have recently had a baby, and suddenlt every single tiny noise is a massive issue to them. Well, her, really. It's getting to the point where the rest of us are increasingly biting our tongues at her neuroticness. Of course, nothing direct is said, it's all passive-agressive messages via text and email. My workshop is directly below the 'bay's room', and of course now I 'shod be aware of this issue'. FFS. Put the little brat in another room. And of course, I've done the 'oh I amsorry I hadn't realiseed how mushc the soundtravels' routine, and turned down my music player a teeny fraction as a gestrure of courtesy. Some builders have moved into next door and have been goingat things with a neumatic drill, and various other noisy things. 😆 But best of all, anothernaieghbour's cat shat and pissed in the baby's pram when it was left outside. I'm under strict instructions not to show my amusement of this terrible event. 😆

What would Stalin have done?

I won't go into detail. Needless to say, its as boring, petty and small minded as all the other first world disputes on here. But my normally peace-loving and affable nature is being tried so much that I'm feeling the need for furious righteous vengeance as an alternative

You need to borrow Stoffels neighbours cat. LOL

Best avoided.

There's a cottage for sale a few miles from where I live that has been for sale for years. It simply doesn't sell. It's semi detached, in great condition, and offers good accommodation. But...

The house it's attached to is painted bright purple by the owner following a neighbourly feud with the vendors. It also sports huge wooden braces to the fascia, suggesting that the pair of cottages have structural issues (they don't). Again these were added by the neighbour out of pure malice to scupper the sale of the house.

My point is that there are some strange people about who might be prepared to go one step further than you are.

I vote that"borrow Stoffels neighbours cat" replaces the old wee/shoes/bombers response in such cases.

All those in favour....?

Waste of energy.

http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/just-had-row-with-next-door-neighbour This is my tale of woe.

It ended peacefully because she sent me a card with an apology handwritten inside. I still can't tolerate their excessive use of weed though. It smells out our entire house and other neighbours have complained.

[b]I won't go into detail[/b]. Needless to say, its as boring, petty and small minded as all the other first world disputes on here. But my normally peace-loving and affable nature is being tried so much that I'm feeling the need for furious righteous vengeance as an alternative

The bit in bold is good.

But you need to follow it up with LOTS of detail. Mostly irrelevant.

Stuff about the neighbours weight, height, income, job, attractiveness of wife/husband etc.

And then a little bit about the actual issue, but you need to make it sound like it's more than likely your fault, so everyone can point and laugh at you.

You know this stuff already. Come on, play the game.

My point is that there are some strange people about who might be prepared to go one step further than you are.

Indeed - surely they'd be happy for them to move away? Unless they're worried the new neighbours won't be so easy to bully?!

Can you introduce a rogue Parcel Force worker with a bar code scanner into the story too, please?

You need to take off and nuke the place from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

there are some strange people about

You're not wrong. From the thread Bunnyhop linked to:

Let the child roast and boil until the fresh fall off like freshly roasted piglet. Then lick the tear off the parents cheeks for not taking your advice.

😯

Indeed - surely they'd be happy for them to move away? Unless they're worried the new neighbours won't be so easy to bully?!

I think it may be a sport or hobby for the bully now, so he's not giving up. He'd rather ruin their lives than let them sell up.

Sabotage their butter.

Can you introduce a rogue Parcel Force worker with a bar code scanner into the story too, please?

it doesn't, I just thought it would spice it up a bit if we had alien death ray zappers being wielded by agents of the ex-state monopoly on bearing distribution.

as you were.

[quote=leffeboy ]Can you introduce a rogue Parcel Force worker with a bar code scanner into the story too, please?how does that have any bearing on the matter...
I guess you had to be there.....

Oops, should have added italics :-). Some things are here to stay forever

It is very difficult not to fight back when people try to take advantage of the 'you still have to live next door to us' feeling to get away with whatever the bloody hell they like.

Ultimately it may not be worth it, but it is going to be difficult not to do it.

In our current situation we have a house move precariously poised with our new 'neighbour' doing stuff that may well still balls it up for us.

If he does manage to balls it up I will struggle to speak to him or his missus. If they ask why I don't speak to them I will struggle not to tell them why. I won't be vindictive about it, but I won't be able to be nice just to keep them happy, either..........

[i]should have added italics[/i]

ah, I'm with you now 🙂

I won't be vindictive about it

If I set out down this route, then I'm going to be very, very, very, very vindictive indeed. i don't really see the point otherwise 😀

I won't go into detail. Needless to say, its as boring, petty and small minded as all the other first world disputes on here.

easy to say now binners, neighbourly disputes are not covered by the geneva convention however.

still if you aint got nowt to lose...

If I set out down this route, then I'm going to be very, very, very, very vindictive indeed. i don't really see the point otherwise

[img] [/img]

This thread is useless without in-depth detail.

Sort it out OP.

binners - Member
Your thoughts and experiences please?

You have two possible options.

1. You have an all out war with them until one totally submit. Annihilate them Benelli M4 way or whatever. You win outright. Problem solved ... except you will face the bureaucrats later on.

Or

2. You have a win win situation where both compromise one way or another.

Anything in between is not a good outcome because someone is still brewing with anger and you are only prolonging the inevitable. i.e. more troubles later on.

We chose option 2 because our neighbour and us have no way else to go.

😛

I like my neighbours, they seem like decent folk. I'm sure I creep them out by doing nice things like taking all the black bags full of catlitter out of their garden waste bin, filling it with cuttings that I've mown from the straggly bit of their garden where I sometimes park the car, and then paying for a garden waste sticker so it gets collected.

However if I find they've been emptying the hot-tub into the septic tank I will be forced to reverse the process.

My neighbours are all friendly but I think they might be a bit pissed off at me parking a caravan outside their house...

No point in getting in feuds with neighbours, you'll never win. All you'll succeed in doing is turning your home/peaceful bolthole into something else.

Better to ignore and live a peaceful life than have to worry about what may happen next with your neighbours.

boring, petty and small minded

They've been playing Mumford and Sons on a loop

The only thing that neutralises a bad neighbour is a nasty rival one.

Are the neighbours vegan and did you leave Macburgerking wrappers in their bin 🙂

My next place to live..... the current tenant has informed Mrs Ace to not park across an invisable boundary line on the public unrestricted parking highway as the chap next door sees this as trespass on his property 🙂

Could be 5 years of fun coming up 🙂

My neighbour recently left a bag full of cat shit under our window.
He did this two days after my father in law's funeral.
He had also taken to wandering into our house uninvited to speak to our builder.

I spoke to him about both, asking him to speak to me if he had any issues.
I was quite harsh with him in retrospect, but he hasn't done it since.

He is a nasty passive aggressive little bully - constant snide remarks since we moved in.
I'd bitten my tongue for over a year, but upsetting my partner 2 days after she buried her father just pushed me too far.

I'm glad I did it.

I am assuming that Hora has moved in next door? Well?

Binners, been there, done that...it was not nice and I would like to think I'd do anything to avoid doing it again. 4 years of unpleasantness during which time I used to hate driving home.

For us it was unavoidable, and only got sorted with a proper stand up barny in the street. They were bullys, we stood up to them, they eventually got the message. If the situation is so benign you have to ask the forum, then don't start anything...It can get pretty unpleasant, and it's a lot easier to ratchet the situation up than it its to calm it down.

Think calm thoughts and react slowly 🙂

seems like a good idea at the time, but soon grows tiresome

Oh god.....

You've just discovered they're vegans,
quick rare steaks all round!!!!

He is a nasty passive aggressive little bully - constant snide remarks since we moved in.
I'd bitten my tongue for over a year, but upsetting my partner 2 days after she buried her father just pushed me too far.

You should have just smacked him upside the head. 😀

Right... I'm going for the calming thoughts approach for the time being.

The irony is that to meet the guy and look at him, he's the most right-on, yeah-Maaaaaan hippyish type, yet his actual behavior would make Alan B'stard blush. He's got a let off for the time being. Life's too short

Good move binners.

While the forum fave of owning with bombers is a bit of giggle, the reality is you could end up in way more trouble than expected.

Understand and study the enemy.
Study the legal side of the issue, as stated in the thread already, a tip off to the correct people and it becomes a third party issue to deal with. Leaving you to watch the outfall with interest.

An Alan Ba'stard, handle with care, he got stitched up in the end 🙂

No I havent just moved in. My neighbours give me Christmas cards 😀

The passive-agressive crap continues; she banged onthe floor with her foot, to indicate tht the music was too loud. Not come down and actually tell me there was an issue. Funny, because I was just about to finish anyway. I could here the brat screaming, so I imagine she's probably sleep-depreived and depressed. Not my problem; she chose to have the brat. And suddently, we must all adapt our lifestyles to cater for her child. My wife is trying to get me to play nice, but i'd quitelike to see her move out. We've been here much longer than tthem, yet she thinks she can dictate the rules. Bollocks.

Now, where's that cat? Here kitty kitty...

It's easy for it to get out of hand.
I have a neighbour I tolerate who would do anything to get back at any perceived "sleight" against them (she called the council and falsely reported us for benefit fraud after i mistakenly took their empty wheely bin in on bin day) play it cool and ignore them.
I know it irks my neighbour something terrible when i dont jump up and react. I'm staying calm as i can honestly say i havent had a problem wih them legitamatly (sure she has issues wiht us/me!) it's just not worth the faff and long term aggro to come home too!

hora - Member

No I havent just moved in. My neighbours give me Christmas cards

Booby trapped? 😀

We'll, I've just had a word with my new neighbours smoking dope in the garden. Second time and it stinks the house out, said once more I call their landlord, after that the police. I got an apology but wonder if I'll have my car scratched up in the morning. Families either side of us too. I just don't get how some people are so self obsessed they think their actions are okay.

How are you going to react when they have a barbeque?

Does having a BBQ run the risk of a criminal record?

What's that got to do with it?

You said it stank your house out.
So would a barbeque.

stoffel are you trolling?

No why are you?

stoffel = Member

[quote=hora ]My neighbours give me Christmas cards

Well they wouldn't want to upset you.

don't worry, DT78.. they'll all be far too paranoid to make a fuss....
🙂 and 🙄 there are worse things in life than a bit of grass.

hear every foot step, moan and bed spring from the flat above and she asks me to turn the music down on a wednesday afternoon....

fair enough, the music was loud, but i told her i was trying to drown out the noise of the screaming and the squeaking, ricketey bed an hour earlier....

she went rad.

hasn't complained since.

100 year old building.

Peaceful pot smokers is simply a non-issue. Besides, it smells quite nice.

We had a nest of rat-people renting next to us when we bought this place. Found out afterwards that the previous owners slipped them a tenner to go out before viewings 👿 The day we moved in, the girl jumped over the fence and tried to nick everything in the garden, including the plants.

Incredibly loud and bad chipmunk techno all day, played by the teenage lass with all her unemployed mates sitting in the front yard getting arseholed on White Lightning / Lambrini type stuff. Her brother was a well known local tea leaf and spent his life in the back garden burning the plastic coating off nicked copper cables with all his mates, getting off their heads on a mazillion cans of Carling. 100% certain he had my bikes out of the garage but couldn't prove it as witnesses were scared of his rat mates.

I did eventually crack - I work from home and just couldn't get anything done. At all. Screamed at the pair of them which resulted in about twenty minutes of muted shit music.

Eventually there was a stand up fisticuff row with the landlord after the lad did a scrappie over - scrappie turned up, polices were called, landlord hoofed them out. Life-changing.

Oh wait, sorry - too much punctuation.

she went rad.

My kind of gal...

Having sold too cheap and fled the violent drug-dealer who moved in next door making life hell, we value good neighbours more than anybody. We are on cup-of-tea terms with both sides and several others in our street and long may it remain that way; the advantages of good neighbours are huge.

Currently we are expending quite a lot of time and energy helping our neighbour on one side, whose husband has walked out, to sort out her house and garden. I've had a lot of fun taking lots of scrap (that he left) to the recyclers and making money out of it for her and yesterday I was up the ladder removing vegetation from her gutters. She is very depressed but now that she can see progress around the house, is beginning to feel better. The feeling of good karma can't be beaten!

However if I find they've been emptying the hot-tub into the septic tank I will be forced to reverse the process.

where do you think he is emptying it to? 😉

Currently we are expending quite a lot of time and energy helping our neighbour on one side, whose husband has walked out, to sort out her house and garden. I've had a lot of fun taking lots of scrap (that he left) to the recyclers and making money out of it for her and yesterday I was up the ladder removing vegetation from her gutters.

This screams nailing the broad to me. That last line...... what are you really saying?

In general, I've always found say hello, be polite but keep a respectful distance.

Its worked everywhere we've lived. I suppose we are the 'nice but keeps themselves to themselves neighbours'.

When the Napoleon-type bullies can see your lives, they then think about your life/talk about it and immerse themselves in your business (from their end). Over familiar becomes contempt. Your not moving into a house to find new friends but also your not a rude-island of loneliness.

I have a parking space outside my drive - parking on our street is ridiculous. Only three houses out of 10 on our street have this 1+1 space. Since I've moved there no one has parked in my spot. Weird because I bloody would if it was the other way round!

hora - Member

No I havent just moved in. My neighbours give me Christmas cards

Are they Australian?

They have Christmas in the summer so they may have got a bit confused with the seasons being different here in the UK

Since I've moved there no one has parked in my spot.

They all think you're a serial killer. Its the manic grin, the coming and going at all hours, and your propensity for carrying an axe

Another STW'er gave me a giant axe as a gift (he'd got a few to get rid of). So its been knocking about/in the way for ages (car boot/kid you not, porch, under stairs. I didn't want to put it in the sheds to give thieves kit). It turned up leant against the outside wall (apparently hora junior had found it and left it there). Anyway, neighbour finally said 'I'll put it in my garage so its finally out of the way'. Thank ****. With such a thing, where do you dispose of? Can you take them to the tip..

Most neighbours would be freaked out...not in Manchester.

I was telling another STW'er about the axe who does building work- I think he got the wrong end of stick as hes not comeback to me since about the work! 🙁

I thought it was muddydwarf that used to come out swinging an axe if his neighbours so much as coughed after 10pm?

Let STW be the judge,jury and lynchmob on that.

I think the OP is being completely unreasonable and he should "do the right thing" and stop doing it at night/give the sister access/use the black bin on Thursdays/offer to pay half the cost of whatever it is he did or did not do.

However if I find they've been emptying the hot-tub into the septic tank I will be forced to reverse the process.

where do you think he is emptying it to?

They've only had it since Christmas so I doubt that they've thought about emptying it yet. It'd make sense to drain it onto the gravel where we park the cars and let it percolate away.

I vote that"borrow Stoffels neighbours cat" replaces the old wee/shoes/bombers response in such cases.

All those in favour....?

stoffle .... if an idiot buys a house with a room above a neighbours garage then what do they expect ?

more so - next time she bangs on the floor with her foot - turn the music up.

when he eventually comes down , explain you couldnt hear it because she was hammering nails upstairs 😉

and for all neighbourly disputes remember the golden rule ....

"loud pipes save lives"

Just in case you change your mind binners...

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_War#The_13_chapters

You ain't seen me, right?

9 of our neighours are great. However...one is a social landlord and rents to a Kosovan family. Well they say they are. They are Gypsies. Not STW-correct but they have a visitor who parks blocking the whole road. The cars a wreck. I often pick up litter from infront of their gate and not so long ago a black Mariah(sp) visited and kicked their door in. Fella was done for aggravated burglary..

So a nasty old dear is nowt. All ^ remind me of a Pappa Lazarou family.. 😆

Elderley customer a few years ago, long drive to his house, the neighbour had dug up his gate post, and made a new entrance to his house from the old chaps house drive when he was on holiday, when the old chap asked what he had done with gate post, he said they, the tarmac gang couldnt get up the new drive with their lorry so knocked it down complete with destroying the gate.
After legal action the new neighbour was forced to move as other neighbours turned against him.

not so long ago a black Mariah(sp) visited

Was this in the 1970s?