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...does anyone else do this and how do you deal with it?
It happens to me every couple of weeks - something small will trigger me and I'll fester over it for days running the scenario around in my head over and over again, getting more and more irate. It can even be a negative reply to a forum post (so be careful! 🙂 ).
The TLDR bit!...
The weekends latest episode - Monday of last week a customer asks me if I can do a small job for Friday - no problem, it's tiny (less than a tenner). And I email on Weds to say it's ready which she acknowledges.
I knock-off on Friday evening and it's not been collected, which is not unusual - I get loads of customers who's 'urgent' jobs are still sat in the office for weeks. 5.30pm I start getting emails, phone messages and texts about how's she's forgot to collect and absolutely must have them for Sat morning - demanding I go back to the office and meet her. Must have had 20+ messages.
Errr - nope - it's Friday night, I'm going to a friends BBQ and I'm not doing an hour round trip because you forgot to pick up.
Now in my head I know this is a non-issue - I've done the job in plenty of time, I've lost a couple of quid in materials at most and the business isn't about to crumble about my ears. But it festers - I keep thinking should I have gone back, was I right to refuse, etc, etc. And it just spoils the weekend.
And is still in my head - as the job is sat there - which is why I am typing this! 🙂
Specifically with this issue - small jobs, especially new customer, cash up front in full. Magically, everyone now remembers to come & pick it up when they are supposed to. 😂 But in general, just get over it. Realise it's their problem, don't let them make it your problem. If they get the hump & never come back, well they were probably never going to come back anyway so no loss!!
Not in the same manner, but I do have a knack when getting stressed of snowballing every little job that needs doing into a mountain of stuff that is never going to get done. I see non-completed or non-started tasks everywhere I turn & just add them up & up in my head until.....AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!
Regarding your specific issue - I feel that's a real shame. You have helped someone by doing a job for them at short notice, completing it in plenty of time & letting them know it has been done.
At that point, the responsibility is entirely on them to collect that job. If they can't do that during your normal business hours, then it's really not your problem.
You definitely were right to refuse to go back & meet this person to hand over something they had plenty of time to collect. You say it was a small job (<£10) - so how much is an hour of your time worth, plus the inconvenience to yourself & presuming you would have to drive, fuel costs? It would surely make you lose out, to do this job for someone.
If it was a friend of a repeat customer who throws a lot of business your way, then you would probably be more inclined to go out of your way.
But, assuming it was a one-time job from a new customer - it's not your responsibility to ensure they collect their job on time, and they shouldn't expect you to make up for their failings.
How you deal with that mentally....I'm not sure.
Turn your work communication methods off, when you are not working? Phone off & don't check your e-mails. If you weren't contactable, they'd have been stuffed anyway.
Two words...
****'em!
Its not your fault that she's disorganised
Turn your work communication methods off, when you are not working? Phone off & don’t check your e-mails. If you weren’t contactable, they’d have been stuffed anyway.
I'm generally very disciplined with this - work stays in work. It's only because I received texts I checked my email - customer isn't new, but only has a small jobs every now and then. I didn't even realise she had my mobile. Only the best customers get my mobile number!
It isn't your problem, it is her problem. Don't even think about it any more deeply than that.
Clench your hand into and angry fist - This represents the problem that it plaguing you.
Plunge your fist into a basin of cold water. The water represents you life and consciousness.
Now remove your fist from the water and the hole that remains reflects how much you should let the problem affect your life.
I email on Weds to say it’s ready
Plenty of time for her to get her $hit in order.
she’s forgot to collect
Makes me think it can't have been that urgent then.
demanding I go back
Demanding?! How effin' dare she!
Now in my head I know this is a non-issue
Listen to your head.
should I have gone back
Nope!
was I right to refuse
Yep!
as the job is sat there
Move it off your desk/out of your eye line so it's not calling to you. Contact her and ask her if she'll be collecting it today, and attach the invoice to the email. If there's no answer by Wednesday bin it and move on.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Repeat after me:
"Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
And breathe.
She didn't forget, people don't tend to with important things. She prioritized her time above yours. Sounds like a narcissist. Move on.
I do know what you mean though. Letting inconsequential events roll around in your head is daft, but telling yourself that doesn't always work. Must be a build up of chemicals in the brain or something,I don't know, IANAN.
Do you own the business? If you do I understand the fear of letting a customer be pissed off and the possible reputation damage. In which case use your frustration to make some changes - stop accepting low value rush jobs. If it’s urgent they’ll pay more. If they’ve paid more it will be easier to justify phoning them on Friday morning to remind them what time you close. If you are in a consumer facing business then you might also want to look at your opening times or options for local delivery / pick up (eg. boxes with a combination lock) - I’m always amazed that local businesses complain people don’t shop local but in this dormitory/commuter town they open M-F 9-5.
if it’s not your business then even less reason to bend over for stupid customers. I doubt the boss would expect it (if they do - find a new job). I’ve got someone who works for me who gets wound up over customer communications stuff, he can’t see that he actually makes things worse by engaging with the client - when the correct response would be to ignore it until Monday morning.
Sounds to me like the route of these feelings is just you wanting to do a good job.
She had two days to pick it up, it's a £10 job. You have a right to time off too, and if you are shut you are shut. Is she called Karen ?
A quick reminder message on Friday at lunch time . . . takes less than a minute and both your weekends would have been better for it.
Have you read “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Mason?
It’s very good.
Have you read “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Mason?
Someone suggested I should, but I couldn't be bothered
Maybe not appropriate for the workplace or customers, but my new years resolution this year was to not bottle it up, let the rage flow through me and pour out.
It's working, less bottled up rage and only one instance of being followed home by an emotionally unstable nutter in a V8 Range Rover.
I used to do the same thing, and then I got some therapy which helped. I also read some decent self help, until it got to the stage that I wasn’t getting any more insights. Mindfulness helped for me too.
I can only agree with most of the previous replies.
If she really, really must have whatever it is and she's Harassing you out of work hours then I'd be tempted to offer to go back but hang a ludicrous price on it. A couple of hours' overtime at double time and 45p/mile travel expenses for a starter, then double the lot as Asshole Tax. You'd find out pretty rapidly how important it actually was.
Either that or "I'd love to but I've been drinking, can you come and get me / pay for a taxi?"
The problem with charging extra (overtime, travel etc) for doing it, is that you’re then taking back responsibility for getting it back to the customer rather than setting a boundary.
Similarly telling white lies to say why you can’t do it.
With difficult customers that you’re setting boundaries with, it’s better to be clear about why you’re doing what you’re doing and end it there rather than get drawn into a negotiation (argument) with them.
When people are being unreasonable, there’s no way to fix it without causing them at least some upset IME.
It's the price you pay for having a conscience, sadly, even though in this instance it really is not your problem.
Someone suggested I should, but I couldn’t be bothered
Plot spoiler: His friend dies, it made him re-evaluate what was and what was not important for his happiness.
What did the customer say after you told them no?
What did the customer say after you told them no?
I stopped communicating on Friday after it became obvious that me tripping out on a Friday night was the only solution they'd accept. There's been no communication since.
Have you read “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Mason?
It’s very good.
I totally disagree.
Somewhere in there is one very good message, but it's basically the first habit of "The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey, which was published about twenty years earlier. I'd definitely recommend reading that instead; Mark Mason comes across as a noisy stoner man-baby who [u]really[/u] wants you to know how much he thinks he's got everything sorted, and wants you to be impressed by how much he can swear.
TL;DR: focus only on the things you can control, and you will feel more in control of your life and less bothered by stuff like the OP's problem. Seven Habits is a much more useful book because it's got a further six useful habits!
Edit: well done @the-muffin-man, ignoring work notifications outside work hours (in general) is good for your mental health. This was the customer's problem, not yours. 🙂
When people are being unreasonable, there’s no way to fix it without causing them at least some upset IME.
Whilst I agree, you're missing an important point here though. To wit:
"So what?"
Let them be upset. They're grown-ass adults.
They're morons complaining about problems which have come about as a direct result of their own machinations. They're going to continue moronning unless you adjust their expectations and telling them to get ****ed is likely preferable to dealing with the amount of aggro that doing a ten quid job has generated.
I used to get this in a past life at work with Project Managers / Coordinators. They'd sit on a project for a fortnight then pass it to our department at the 11th hour expecting us to drop everything and turn around two days' work in an afternoon. Then after I've rejigged everyone's workload, not actually release the kit to us until like 2pm when the cutoff for outbound deliveries is 4pm. "But the customer expects..." well, managing customer expectations is why you're probably earning more than I am. "We've got an onsite engineer booked for tomorrow morning..." well, whose fault is that?
I always did my damnedest to try to help but sometimes you have to break eggs rather than roll over, training people to be less shit is better for all concerned otherwise you set a dangerous precedence, "well, you did it last time".