Garden clearance, hippo bag, or skip….?

Hire a chipper.

Or shredder. Depends on the size of your stuff.

A skip 100% - you can climb in and jump up and down on the stuff to compress it down more.

Do you have/can you hire a shredder? It'll take up a hell of a lot less space if you shred it.

That or rip it out, stack it up and set fire to it in the autumn (after making sure no hedgehogs are snoozing in it). Then turn the ash back into bits of the garden you want to grow.

Hire a chipper.

THis literally just came to me!
A shredder plus the 1.5 yd skip would do nicely….

Asking around local mates etc as we speak!

Could hire for £50..
Or..for £130 I could get one from Screwfix…

More ruddy tools!!

EDIT - could i put vines etc in a chipper???

DrP

you wont get much in a hippo bag. sounds like your stuff is just too "fluffy". they are great for proper rubbish.

talk to a landscaper, and see if they will come and do it for you?

They have the tools
They have the [edit: "Proper] chipper
they will just chip it into the back of their flat bed and probably wont change you much for disposal as it will get recycled and sold as wood chip to some other mug.

edit: a crap chipper is as good as useless. Dont waste money on buying a rubbish one. Much better to hire a good one.
Or as above, hire a REALLY good one, with a man (or lady) to feed it.

...isn't this what Facebook is made for!

Loads of friendly types on there offering garden clearance.

All sounds pretty combustible to me

whats the worst that could happen!

also check out if you have someone local that will collect hippo type bags, we got the small ones lifted for £90 when we leveled our oddly shaped garden.  https://surreyskipbags.co.uk/

Don’t say ‘just leave it’!

Is that a don't say it or a don't say it? Is it a fine or a fine!? A nothing or a nothing! A it doesn't matter now or a IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW!?

Hire a brushcutter. Strim it all down. Take and shovel it into a tonne bag, put bag in car and take to tip

Or strim it all down and let it rot down

what are you actually going to remove?

wait for the travellers to visit an area near you.
Probably get it taken away for half the price of the skip.
Don't worry about it being flytipped , the local clowncil will pay for it to be picked up from wherever they choose to dump it, once they are gone. 😉

what are you actually going to remove?

Loads of:
Leaves
Floor vines
Dead/fallen branches

Basically, the wooded area at the back has been left to go proper wild, and my kids/friends LOVE playing there! So wanting to bring it back to bare floor and clear it out a bit..

DrP

wait for the travellers to visit an area near you.
Probably get it taken away for half the price of the skip.
Don’t worry about it being flytipped , the local clowncil will pay for it to be picked up from wherever they choose to dump it, once they are gone. 😉

Here you go, you'll fit right in here.

The Screwfix chipper is good for branches - tend to use mine only a couple of times a year, but it's a supply of re-useable chippings ! Saves the tip trip.

Leaves - garden vac to pulverise then into compost ?

Hmm. Just leave it as is, great for biodiversity

EDIT – could i put vines etc in a chipper???

Probably, even if its a small one.

The larger versions anything goes, including the workers themselves 😉 So take note of all safety instructions and follow them implicitly

Massive compost bin somewhere as leaf litter is pretty good for your garden once broken down a bit and composted.

interesting ish tip i found earlier this week: Weve got a brown bin from the council that was "full", but having stuck the hedge trimmer in there and waved it around a bit, suddenly it was basically empty. Worked really effectively, and being flat plastic sides not risk of damaging the trimmer teeth/blades.

Hire a flail mower, in 20 minutes there will be nothing left.

Chipper/shredder +1, but a waste of time with some stuff and you'll spend more time unblocking it. Try mixing the waste up rather than doing all of the vines in one go. A bigger, hired one might be more efficient. And bigger is always better 🙂
Skip +1, especially if the waste won't shred. Un-shredded waste will take up a billion times more space than you'd imagine and will need trampling. Slashing the hedge trimmer wildly in the overfull skip doesn't work 🙂 Just spotted Olly's post...EDIT didn't work for me
If someone is going to do the job they'll need to show you an Environment Agency Waste Cert or you could be prosecuted if it ends up where it shouldn't. Commercial tip rate for green waste is ~£60 tonne, so time and fuel + £60
Hire either a van or trailer or both and go to the local tip. You'll probably need a permit so plan ahead
Grab lorry from the front is cheapest, but you might struggle to find a green waste company

Cheers all… I’m actually kinda tempted now to just clear the big fallen wood, and leave the (erm) leaves and vines as habitat for bugs and squirrels etc…

In which case, I may just dirty up my FRESHLY CLEANED Skoda and take it to the tip…

DrP

If it's a good chipper you may be able just spread the chip on the floor to keep down weeds, and chop the larger timber into short lengths and stack them along the back as a bug hotel, or let a woodburnerist collect them...I'd jump at the chance

Bugs need wood too. If you can just cut the wood up with a bow saw and stack neatly out of the way

Here you go, you’ll fit right in here.

Worst joke of the day.

What spooky said - just chip it and leave it on the ground. It'll break down over a couple of years.

Are you still in Bristol mate?
Could check the workshop and see if we have a chipper/shredder...

Best chipper you can find in our area maybe not what you are looking for

saw up the big stuff, brush cutter for the rest, let it all dry out (if it needs it), then burn it.