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Mate turned up yesterday with his new missus.
I cooked up a (very bloody nice) risotto with zucchini and walnuts. As I was dishing out the food onto plates she pipes up that she allergic to nuts and then sits there with a face like a slapped arse. Matey then gets up and starts "cooking" some prepackaged shite for her.
Why TF did neither of you mention that when I asked if there was anything she doesn't eat?
It's really pissed me off.
People with allergies aren't "fussy eaters" and it won't matter how nice you think it was when she's being blue-lighted to hospital.
That said, I would concur that she sounds like a nob. Anyone genuinely allergic who knew they were going to be fed will (should) have mentioned it, it's not like it'd come as a surprise to her. Did they bring the "prepackaged shite" with them?
Yeah, got to say it from the outset. My daughter has a peanut allergy and I always ask everywhere even down to what oil stuff is fried in (groundnut oil risk). It's just a thing, no issues. If going to a friend's for food then always inform them well in advance. I don't carry any prepackaged shite.
Well, I completely misread the title.
Did they bring the "prepackaged shite" with them?
A whole fridge load of prepackaged shite.
What I don't get is that they're both vegetation (as is my missus) and turn their noses up at guanciale yet seemingly everything they eat comes out of a plastic package..... Vegan sausage anyone? 🤢
What I don't get is that they're both vegetation
This might be the root cause
You'd think they would have mentioned it beforehand...
A client I deal with is strictly vegan to the point they turned down our vegan sandwich spread (just in case) and bought thier own home prepared meal - we knew they were vegan hence the choice of snacks we ordererd in, but, fine, whatever... more nosh for me to snaffle after the meeting! I'd be a bit more taken aback if they were a friend invited round for dinner though.
Allergies are more serious, so I don't blame them for wanting thier own prepared food, but advising they may bring thier own food in advance would go a long way to avoiding any social awkwardness!
I absolutely agree they should have told you in advance. However, playing slight devil's advocate, my youngest daughter have ARFID as well as being neuro-diverse. We regularly have to travel with a whole meal for her just in case as even saying she can eat this / that doesn't mean on that particular day her sensory issues won't be playing up because of a different smell, chair etc. we are comfortable enough with our family and friends to say "Obviously because of X's ARFID she might not eat what you have prepared, please don't be offended if she'll only eat what we have bought with us as that's what she feels comfortable with". Maybe you're friends partner has something similar but isn't as comfortable with it so used the nut thing to try and avoid embarrassment?
Also, on the pre-packaged side, probably easier to turn up with that than a bunch of raw ingredients?
they turned down our vegan sandwich spread (just in case) and bought thier own home prepared meal
After being repeatedly caught out, I do this routinely do this at events and conferences now. (Usually sandwiches rather than anything complex.) Because,
my youngest daughter have ARFID as well as being neuro-diverse
... I rather suspect that I tick both of these boxes also. The primary issue it causes is other people who won't take "no thank you" for an answer.
[vegetations] turn their noses up at guanciale
What - they won't even eat a pig's face ? That's some extreme veggie fundamentalism, right there
Cured sausage innit?
-10pts for Zucchini. None of that foreign muck here. Courgette. Grazie 😉
... I rather suspect that I tick both of these boxes also. The primary issue it causes is other people who won't take "no thank you" for an answer.
Yeah I get that... it's really not a big deal either way, I don't think too much of a fuss should be made of it, more important things in life to worry about!
Really I just meant if you invite someone to your house for dinner, it would be polite to be forewarned they might want thier own food.
my youngest daughter have ARFID as well as being neuro-diverse. We regularly have to travel with a whole meal for her just in case as even saying she can eat this / that doesn't mean on that particular day her sensory issues won't be playing up because of a different smell, chair etc. we are comfortable enough with our family and friends to say "Obviously because of X's ARFID she might not eat what you have prepared, please don't be offended if she'll only eat what we have bought with us as that's what she feels comfortable with".
Slight tangent - but how old is she now? And have you a long term plan to help her in the future yet?
With very careful and well prepared parents ready to parachute in solutions that sounds hard work but manageable. As an independent adult needing to flex for work and maintain a social life that sounds hellish.
Is it something she might grow out of or generate coping mechanisms for in the future?
Back to the op - feel your pain. I'm the main cook in the house and my wife is the main inviter of people round to eat (weird isn't it - much easier be all bonne amie and inviting to anything that moves when you are not going to have to do the graft.....) and I always get her to ask twice if people don't eat anything when it's someone new. I think the first time some people translate to "are you a fussy eater?" and in their world they aren't as they eat all the stuff they buy. The second time, they might actually think about it. The number of times a basic staple like mushrooms or tomatoes is suddenly remembered.
Had a girlfriend back in the day with a proper EpiPen-or-death peanut allergy. She was also borderline psychotic. When drunk she enjoyed a game of russian roulette (against herself) with a packet of revels (when they still had peanuts in some of them). Just opening the packet used to make her lips go numb. At least two evenings I can remember ended up in A&E.
As an independent adult needing to flex for work and maintain a social life that sounds hellish
Correct.
It's not really something you grow out of but is something that can be addressed with the correct therapy. Even then it's a long slog to go from a food being on the "unsafe" list to being "safe" , and then to keep it there. I'd hope that the current generation of kids grow up with a better understanding of individual differences and so it's less of an issue for them and their peers in future.
She'd be fine then. Walnuts are seeds.
She'd be fine then. Walnuts are seeds.
Dear God.. . They are tree nuts along with almonds, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts etc. Exposure to any of them will at best see me in A&E and at worst in a box.
Please don't tell me you work with food at all.
My nut allergy is fairly recent and it still scares the crap out of me when people come out with shit like this.
"We told you he had a nut allergy " screams Mrs Elbrus as I choke to death. "Ahh" , says the chef, smugly, "but Walnuts are technically seeds".
https://www.allergyuk.org/resources/tree-nut-allergy-factsheet/
Slight tangent - but how old is she now?
She's just turned 8 so very much needs her parents to help her out with some stuff even though she definitely has her own voice
Equating a nut allergy with "fussy eating" just makes you come across as a bit of a knob.
I'm ready this as the new missus is a really fussy eater and only eats processed food (a pot-noodle itarian if you like). If they had said in advance about a nut allergy you'd have cooked something else she didn't like.
Fair for the OP to be miffed about them not mentioning the allergy when asked beforehand if there is anything they don't eat.
Friends we eat with regularly know about my wife's nut allergy always check with nuts/seeds they are unsure of and we always mention it to those we don't eat with regularly.
Terminology wise, it's not fussy eating as there isn't any choice in it. Vegetarianism though...😉
Picky eater here! To again play devils advocate, absolutely hate having food out. Really bored of explaining that peanuts aren’t nuts.
I usually get by by just avoiding desert or vegetation food.
I have developed a massive aversion to deserts due to being occasionally left struggling to breathe with my throat on fire because someone thought a hazelnut might improve it a bit.
It’s shit.
Luckily my reaction is very fast, so if something like a Brazil or Walnut is in the food, my mouth will start to swell before I cant ingest enough to do real harm.
The irony is I used to love eating Chestnuts, Walnuts etc.
Far from being picky it might actually kill me.
Its a bit of a pain in the arse frankly.
I don’t usually mention my nut allergy until the 3rd or 5th demand that I have some desert, I guess I don’t want to be a pain in the arse and I’ve survived so far.
Picky eater here! To again play devils advocate, absolutely hate having food out. Really bored of explaining that peanuts aren’t nuts.
I usually get by by just avoiding desert or vegetation food.I have developed a massive aversion to deserts due to being occasionally left struggling to breathe with my throat on fire because someone thought a hazelnut might improve it a bit.
It’s shit.
Luckily my reaction is very fast, so if something like a Brazil or Walnut is in the food, my mouth will start to swell before I cant ingest enough to do real harm.
The irony is I used to love eating Chestnuts, Walnuts etc.
Far from being picky it might actually kill me.
Its a bit of a pain in the arse frankly.
I don’t usually mention my nut allergy until the 3rd or 5th demand that I have some desert, I guess I don’t want to be a pain in the arse and I’ve survived so far.
That's actually a huge problem in modern society, IMO... some people just won't take a hint when you politley decline something.
It doesn't matter why I decline something, I don't owe anyone an explanation... an no one should expect an explanation other than a polite "no, thanks", otherwise they are just being rude.
Yet some people will labour the point and demand reasons.. and then fake offence from the gas-light. I absolutley detest that, it's the height of ignorance.
I can't stand bleu steak, for example.. it doesn't matter how much of a connesieur the cook is... I just don't like it. I'll take it medium rare, please, or i'll take it home and feed it to my dog.
‘Wanna come over for dinner?’
‘Sure!’
’Anything you don’t like/eat?’
Feel the above chat could have avoided this, plus eliminates the risk of you cooking something they hate, as well as might kill them.
Would have made a shit story on here though, I guess.
’Anything you don’t like/eat?’
To be fair, in the case of allergies, and new dinner guests, it's kinda on the person with allergies to say so, for what are hopefully very obvious reasons.
It saves the hosts any social awwardness, and it prevents the person with allergies from potentially dying.
Reminds me of the scene from Pulp fiction when Mia gets her nose into Vincents coke stash, except it wasn't coke, it was heroin. Oops.
God damn UK censorship, lol!
Iirc QI told us that there's extra danger with Brazil nut allergy...
Your sexual partner may have no issues eating Brazil nuts, scoff a load and then you have an allergic reaction after sex! 😮
Next time you could cook them proper Italian quick meal with only three ingredients.
Cacio e pepe: pasta, pepper and pecorino (sheep cheese available at Fenwick).
It was in the BBC news recently.
Finally, after more than 30+ years I get to know the name of the lunch my Italian friend was eating at University lunch time.
I used to wonder why Italian was eating such boring food at every lunch time. "Aloisio! You are eating the same food again today?" He just smiled and said "just pasta and cheese" and we would laugh at his "laziness". Well, I am going to buy some pecorino and be lazy like him now. LOL!
Iirc QI told us that there's extra danger with Brazil nut allergy...
Your sexual partner may have no issues eating Brazil nuts, scoff a load and then you have an allergic reaction after sex! 😮
Does anyone actually eat them, though?
They are always the last ones left in a cheap box of chocolates! 😉
It was a Brazil nut that I first reacted to, was kind of a trigger. Before then I could happily eat Walnuts etc.
As a side note, for those without allergies there is still a safe and unsafe amount you can eat. Something like 3 or 4 per day maximum.
Would have made a shit story on here though, I guess.
Especially if served with "special sauce".
I can't stand bleu steak, for example.. it doesn't matter how much of a connesieur the cook is... I just don't like it. I'll take it medium rare, please, or i'll take it home and feed it to my dog.
You're being offered blue steak or nothing at dinner parties so often that it's become an issue for you?
You're being offered blue steak or nothing at dinner parties so often that it's become an issue for you?
I think you've missed his point. That being, some people immediately turn into drug pushers when you politely say that you don't want something.
It's well-meaning I'm sure, but it's bloody frustrating.
Feel the above chat could have avoided this, plus eliminates the risk of you cooking something they hate, as well as might kill
I kinda did have that chat..... But to no no avail.🫤
On other news, it turns out her slapped arse face just happens to be her natural resting face. Not seen her smile once.
Vegetarianism though...
Exactly..... I know it's "cool" to laugh at vegetarians, but they're a darn sight easier to provide for than vegans. My missus is vegetarian. As such 99% of the meals I cook are vegetation/vegan and I've not got a problem not eating meat with every meal.
I would rather "treat" myself with a decent steak or leg of lamb rather than eating meat just for the sake of it. But that's not the problem here.
I even bought a few vegan cream things rather than proper Panna knowing that my mate is vegan. Used them the other day. It was ok, but I would rather the proper stuff, but even I can adapt.
WRT the prepackaged shite..... Matey says he'll cook for us yesterday. A "vegan burger" patty with a bit of lettuce and vegan cheese. Amazing it was not, maybe because I passed on the cheese...
But we're in Italy fffs...... Bloody place is full of cheese, all produced locally.... Yet you choose to eat the plastic, factory processed "cheese" out of a plastic packet.....🫤🤢
And if you're truly vegan why are you pinning for meat? The missus has been vegetarian for 25+ years and not once has said "I really fancy a vegan sausage/cheese/a.n.other meat substitute.
They went shopping today and complained there wasn't any vegan milk in the supermarket. To put things in perspective we're parked up in our vans in Piemonte, high up in a valley. WTF do you expect in a tiny little Italian supermarket alimentari at 1100m up?!?
Equating a nut allergy with "fussy eating" just makes you come across as a bit of a knob.
It was tongue in cheek.... Don't let that one thread title lead you to thinking I'm a bit of a knob. There are plenty of other, much better examples.
Iirc QI told us that there's extra danger with Brazil nut allergy...
Your sexual partner may have no issues eating Brazil nuts, scoff a load and then you have an allergic reaction after sex! 😮
With reference to my previous post about the 'nuts' risk taking girlfriend with the peanut allergy.......
There were two things I couldn't do after I'd eaten peanuts. One of them was kissing her on the lips......the other also got an unintended reaction.
drug pushers
I could do with at least one of those right now.
I think you've missed his point. That being, some people immediately turn into drug pushers when you politely say that you don't want something.
I know the point that was being made - just that a world where blue steak immediately comes to mind is a bit odd. In my small and scruffy city it's more likely to be a cup of tea being offered. 🤣
I think you've missed his point. That being, some people immediately turn into drug pushers when you politely say that you don't want something.
I know the point that was being made - just that a world where blue steak immediately comes to mind is a bit odd. In my small and scruffy city it's more likely to be a cup of tea being offered. 🤣
I only used that as an example as I've a mate whose evangelical about steak being cooked as little as possible...
So any time we're eating steak or even talk about steak I get a lecture about why his preferences are right and mine are wrong... It's never going to convince me, it only annoys me, lol!
I only used that as an example as I've a mate whose evangelical about steak being cooked as little as possible...
So any time we're eating steak or even talk about steak I get a lecture about why his preferences are right and mine are wrong... It's never going to convince me, it only annoys me, lol!
I thought there'd be more of a story to it than that! Being held hostage at the world's worst dinner party and only allowed to leave once you'd eaten the raw steak and oysters, flushed down with a nix of vintage Chateau Latour and Ribena.. 🤣
OP: was thinking about this today on a run, and arrived at two conclusions.
I cooked up a (very bloody nice) risotto with zucchini and walnuts
Around my way this would be... unexpected. Not something I'd ever think of as a dish, tasty as it might be. I'd eat it, mind; but if you'd said "ah yeah, I'm cooking up a risotto for us", I don't think anyone would think of a nut-based risotto.
That said, any normal mate would check in and say "you've not met the new missus, just wanted to check, she's got a nut allergy - that's not a problem is it?". So your mate and his missus dropped a bollock on that.
But yeah, it's not fussy eater if it might kill them - but it is rude of them not to mention it beforehand
On other news, it turns out her slapped arse face just happens to be her natural resting face. Not seen her smile once.
"Resting Bitch Face." Common in cats.
I know the point that was being made - just that a world where blue steak immediately comes to mind is a bit odd. In my small and scruffy city it's more likely to be a cup of tea being offered.
Fair. 😁
And if you're truly vegan why are you pinning for meat? The missus has been vegetarian for 25+ years and not once has said "I really fancy a vegan sausage/cheese/a.n.other meat substitute.
For the second time on STW in about a week,
Your issue here is that you're assuming vegans are "pining for meat." Are people who eat chicken burgers "pining for beef"? It's nonsensical.
Burgers and sausages are convenience foods. It shouldn't take a wild leap of impenetrable moon logic to understand why someone might want a slice of protein with all the trimmings served in a handy bun regardless of whether that protein is organic tofu or a premium chunk of Aberdeen Angus arse.
It's always amused me how the "but whyyyyyy" brigade rapidly change their tune when I'm doing breakfast at a campsite. Start of weekend: "vegetarian sausages, eurgh." End of weekend: "form an orderly salivating queue lads, I can only fry so many at once and I'm running out of onions."
And if you're truly vegan why are you pinning for meat?
The other error you are making there is perversely the opposite of the situation you found yourself in with your risotto. Vegan/veggie burger are a great way as a vegan/veggie to feed the masses something that does not offend and looks a bit like what they are used to. We've made the decision as a household that we don't want to buy or cook meat - even if it was to be consumed by others. If you invite a dyed in the wool blood thirsty carnivore around for a BBQ offering them a beyond burger I hope is half way to what they expect. They always get eaten at any rate. You could go more 'vegan adventurous' but for some that's a step out of their comfort zone.
I don't need/want something that looks like flesh but I can accommodate guests eating 'normals' by offering them something that does without jangling my own ethics. Just don't assume what you eat at a vegan's house as a guest is what they eat when you are not there.
Those beyond burgers are particularly good and easily trump a mediocre beef burger. Maybe the Angus arse one would beat it, but they are definitely very good imo.
Your issue here is that you're assuming vegans are "pining for meat."
No, it is the issue and it's not mine.
Matey sold it to us that they're "just like meat" which didn't do much to encourage my missus given she hasn't eaten any the last 25 years.
Just don't assume what you eat at a vegan's house as a guest is what they eat when you are not there.
I've known him long enough to know what he eats and the majority of it comes from plastic packaging despite his vegan ways .
He's always "amazed"at how long it takes me to cook. He mentioned it the day before yesterday.... I was boiling potatoes. 🤔