[Closed] Funny how things have a way of turning out..

Dead man walking.

We have a dead man walking.

Good luck

Lets us know how you get on

no matter how you explain it, she will want to know why you stopped to even pick the blonde up and what she was doing to you to cause you to crash.

was anybody hurt?

shit situation dude, i feel for you!

I wouldnt bother going home!!

That bit of gear you picked up this morning, she single??

Hahahahaha.

Hope she didn't bite on impact..... 😯

was anybody hurt?

Not yet.. but I still have to go home 🙁

does she look like....?
[img] [/img]

glupton1976 - Member

Hahahahaha.

Such sympathy for a man in need!

Just another example of the law of Sod, but seriously, good luck. Really wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now.

Practicing your alibi on us eh?

how long have you been married and is it coming up to that time where you'd be trading in for a younger model anyway?

you could just accuse the wife's friend of being on drugs, causing the accident whilst tripping, and that she spent half the time you were trying to get any sense out of her talking to an imaginary person 8)

Practicing your alibi on us eh?

Thats the thing.. It's all true yet looks SO bad.

Don't worry, your wife will read this thread and her mind will be put at rest. Probably.

tell her the truth as it is the truth

thats a horrible idea junky! convincing the wife that her friend hallucinates blondes and caused the accident will ensure that they probably stop talking long enough to dispose of the blonde

[img] [/img]

You should definitely try to initiate intercourse with the hot blonde.
Your wife is going to think you're at it anyway and, well; Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

megalolz at wrecker.

hmm, new expression: "Bambi Boiler" then?

hung like a horse thank you x

Did you remember to do up your flies before exchanging details?

Mucho respect if you then continued on your journey with the hot blonde AND your wife's friend due to you writing off her car (providing she was also hot).

Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

[img] http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLDnBvmSidIqFJI2zvF4krE0tZ_g2eBzkpBSnMQF5Ko3WgyCgu62g-Jqxa [/img]

Are you trying your story out on us before trying it on the wife? Most people seem to be buying it, so that's good 🙂

i aint! this is a fantastically epic lie.

but i like it.

if i was his mrs i'd definitely laugh. and then throw him out.

when you say "works opposite" is that opposite you in the office or in a building opposite your work place?

if its the latter, you are screwed

and this girl you vaguely know, does your wife know her too, if not, you are screwed

go home, pack, call the solicitor, dont ever look back.

[img] [/img]

Shambles, I can almost hear the trumpets...

The fat lady is clearing her throat as i type... 😈

Did you run into the other car when leaving the secluded car park in the woods? If yes, you may be in trouble. Just a feeling I have.

Good luck!

Classic!

But we need pics to back up your story 😀

Apologies elzorillo but that's a fantastic tale, really made my day and i'm still chuckling over the seemingly random sequence of events that led up to it 😀

I imagine this'll be you n' the wife later

[img] [/img]

It actually reminds me of one of those Helpful Herbert strips in Viz, where he used to get into the most ridiculously contrived situations that couldn't look worse while just trying to be entirely helpful.

You didn't spill the contents of the jug of cream that you were carefully carrying for someone else over your trousers in the crash while your passenger was being stung by a large and angry bee and had removed her top to get rid of it, by any chance?!

As above - classic!

Your wife will have known all about this within minutes of you leaving the accident.

She'll have thus had all day to build up a head of steam and reach the following conclusion;

1) you didn't have any work today to start with
2) you only wanted the car to pick up blonde girl

I suspect things won't go well when you get home 🙁

Make sure that you don't finish off the day by having a golden retriever appear from out of nowhere and jump up on you before sprinting off, leaving long, curly blond hairs all over your clothes.

😉

Also, check your pockets for used condom wrappers.

This is better than "rate my brickie" - good luck mate. At least you know you are innocent... 😕

OP you should definitely play the Euromillions tonight.

This sounds like the sitcom 'Oh Crikey!' from the young ones

😆

Genuine LOL almost became actual ROFL!

So how's the OP now?

I'm picturing him flat on the floor having been skelped over the back of the head with a heavy pan.. whilst watching that clip (full volume,which attracted the OH to the computer room in the first place)

..and now SHE is reading all this,possibly about to reply any minute now.

So, wonder how he got on?

you are either a mentalist or haven't been in the husbanding game very long..

If you find the girl attractive.. don't pick her up

What's the worst that can happen..? at some point somewhere along the line the girl may say 'hey, I saw you drive past me the other day'

whereas if you [i]DO[/i] pick her up what's the worst that can happen..?

ahh.. yes

exactly

You made it through the night?

I'm hoping we'll get an update when he gets to work today.

I can't stand these cliffhanger threads.

Maybe like the woodburner / smoke one we'll just not hear from him again.....

He is obviously an attention whore so lets talk about something else.

Nice weather for the time of the year?

*pops in for a look round*

*leaves disappointed*

I'm reliably informed that would-be authors test their plotlines on Mumsnet.

I think sitcom writers might be using STW for the same sort of purpose.

Morning chaps..

You'll be dissapointed to hear that the wife was very understanding.

This has unnerved me somewhat though as she's normally the sort to go absolutely balistic.

ahhh, she's already been in contact with her lawyer and is calm in the knowledge that she'll get everything in court. sleep with one eye open, the only other possible explanation is she's planning something involving a blade and your testicles

As long as you kept a straight face and didnt rub your nose or neck as you told the tale im sure you might be in the clear.. unless shes now cutting all the arms and legs off your clothes and leaving them strewn across the lawn ready for when you get home..

Oh dear, that's definitely a bad sign...

She's got some sort of revenge planned, just not yet......

You may as well pack up and leave now

...and move in with the blonde...

I love this place;

yesterday:

OP: 'I'm not sure how this will be viewed- reassure me'
Everyone: 'she'll rip your testicles off and feed them to the dog when you get home'

today:

OP: 'well, that went ok'
Everyone: 'she'll rip your testicles off and feed them to the dog at some indeterminate point in the future.'

tomorrow?

OP: 'she's ripped my testicles off and fed them to the dog'
Everyone: 'we told you so'

That is indeed the worst possible response. Bad. Very bad indeed.

Do you have life insurance?

Laterooms.com?

It's Halloween

Deadmen are allowed to walk today

But then again....

When she was letting you off last night, did she mention anything about taking up ice-hockey ??

[img] [/img]

You'll be dissapointed to hear that the wife was very understanding.

She's got [i]the rest of your life [/i]to think about it.

wwaswas - Member

tomorrow?

OP: 'she's ripped my testicles off and fed them to the dog'
Everyone: 'we told you so'

POSTED 3 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST
ononeorange - Member
That is indeed the worst possible response. Bad. Very bad indeed.

Do you have life insurance?

More importantly, do you have testicle insurance!

Women are notorious for saying "it's fine" when in reality they mean "it's not fine but i'll have to let it brew and fester in the back of my mind for a few weeks to allow my oestrogen levels to reach their peak cycle, then I'll most likely turn into a screaming, howling banshee in a supermarket for no apparent reason apart from the fact you forget the shopping list". [img] [/img]

This is what woman do, there's no getting round it so brace yourself - it's coming.

This just means she is seeing some other bloke and thinks your too worried about your own bit on the side to catch her at it.

Wait till you crash into his car with her in the passenger seat.

this is probably my fave thread atm. 😆

So I guess it's not just me that gets those adverts for life insurance at the side of the page.

Maybe now is a good time to get some

Dean man walking......

She's definitely cheating on you OP

You'll be dissapointed to hear that the wife was very understanding.

This has unnerved me somewhat though as she's normally the sort to go absolutely balistic.

In other words Mrs Elzorillo's friend was on the phone to her only a few minutes after the incident and told her about your mystery blonde. Mrs Elzorillo's wanted to see if you came clean! You did and as the say "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

If you we're asking a T800 for advice - It's reply would be "She'll be back"

The worst response known to man: "It's fine.....".

Anything but.

One thing, have you thought about who'll you'll leave your bikes to?

I'd keep an eye out for booby-traps/bear traps when you get home later!