[Closed] Funny (for all but the tattooee) tattoo story...

I fancied a girl called Joanne when I was kid, but was too shy to tell her.
I chalked a heart with an arrow through it on the road with the names "Graham" and "Johan" either side.

At least I was able to rub the chalk off when all my mates laughed at me.

To be honest, the setup is worse than the punchline there!

I fancied a girl called Lisa Horgan when I was at school. Somebody told me that that wasn't her real name, but a mickey take. He said her real name was Lisa Bontempi.

So I addressed a valentine card to Lisa Bontempi. Turned out she was called Lisa Horgan and she thought I was taking the piss!

(Bontempi make organs if that helps)

I used to fancy Lisa Stansfield.

[img] [/img]

No tatts though.

So I addressed a valentine card to Lisa Bontempi. Turned out she was called Lisa Horgan and she thought I was taking the piss!

Now that's funny!

that's really quite tame..
me and a few mates had descended on Newquay for a spur of the moment weekend away.. It was off season.. we didn't get there til sunday morning and the weather was grim with no surf.. the town was dead and the locals were a bit depressed..

we made up for it by drinking heavily in the empty bars and treating the bored and cynical barstaff to our usual fear and loathing style banter.. at some point I was christened the silver fox aka foxy due to my greying hair and the next morning after a few hairs of the dog I decided I should have the stunning new nickname tattooed on my butt..

we were too drunk to be tattooed.. we smelled very bad.. our banter had gotten to the salvador dali stage and we were definitely the only people crying with laughter at our abstract 'witticisms'..

the tattooist obviously took a dislike to us as I came away with 'fuki' permanently tarrooed on me batty.. ace

permanently tarrooed

Nice slip there Yunki - good name for any regretted tat 🙂

the tattooist obviously took a dislike to us as I came away with 'fuki' permanently tarrooed on me batty.. ace

POIDH?

[i]I used to fancy Lisa Stansfield.
No tatts though[/i]

Yeah she was a bit flat chested.

IGMC

Now I'm confused about Ms. Stansfield.

Did she have ickle tiddies or zero tattooes or both of these?

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A local-ish tattoo studio is responsible for this.

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(should prob add that this isn't me, or anyone I know!)

POIDH?

eurrgh.. really?

I'll see what I can arrange later if completely neccessary.. 😕

I believe you, REALLY I DO 😯

Sometimes you're not sure if the tatooist is dyslexic or the that the person with the tattoo has inisted on it being done as they want.

Awsome looks 'shopped, fall out boy pic is just wrong on so many levels.

I know a man with 'made in mancester, in inch high letters across his shoulderblades, he'd offer his kingdom for an H,
I think the tattooist was more pissed than him
Dougies joke and tatoo shop (I shit you not) in Ashton u lyne, shut a long time ago, surprise surprise.....

Can I bring this one out again?

[IMG] [/IMG]

I think this has to be the worst I've seen. Needless to say, he didn't get the job... 😉

[IMG] [/IMG]

I used to fancy Lisa Stansfield.
No tatts though

Yeah she was a bit flat chested.

IGMC

😆

khani, Is his name "Manchester"? Because if he is I think I met him whilst I was in Fiji. Good guy, nuts, but a good guy.

What about a Lisa Stansfield tatt'? (I don't mean one of her busters)

[img] [/img]

I've done a Google image search and it would appear that Ms. Stansfield has, shall we say, an unleavened chest.

He's called Neil, was/is a bit nuts though
Edit, did he offer you his arse for an H? If so then yes....

[img] [/img]

^^^

Hah! It doesn't even look much like Bob Dylan!

or Phil Lynott

Or Tupac.

I'm not really sure what's so funny about the OP, [url=

stansfield.[/url] No one else is going to know, are they?

Huh? I don't get it! Should I have brought tumbleweed?

Perhaps concentrate on the Bontempi post then you miserable gits.

I think you should get a scene from Star Wars tattooed on your belly, Derek.

[img] [/img]

surely that would be a scene from tatooine ?

[img] [/img]

Yes and his bellybutton could be a Sarlacc! 😀

[img] [/img]

Boom tish!

derek_starship - Member

Perhaps concentrate on the Bontempi post then you miserable gits.

Well, it's not just unknown losers who do, and receive, bad tattoos. On Miami Ink the slutty babe tattooed some sort of musician with mis-spelled words.

[url= http://miamiink.contentquake.com/2007/10/01/my-chemical-romances-frank-lero-tattoo-mistake/ ]http://miamiink.contentquake.com/2007/10/01/my-chemical-romances-frank-lero-tattoo-mistake/[/url]

Except, they aren't misspelt. One's in the wrong language, one's a slightly different word to the one he requested.

Either way, it's down to the tatooee to check what's going on. They're shown the ink drawing first and asked to confirm that it's what they want, it's not the tattooist's job to be doing hours of research into different language translations.

You see this a lot with Chinese / Japanese lettering; some combine to have a different meaning to the one intended, and some are just pure fiction. There's a few websites dedicated to this kicking about, either offering help or pointing and laughing at tats that say "hi, I'm rude and ugly" in Mandarin.

*points and laughs at cougar* He said he's rude and ugly... 😈

I know a guy who owns a toatoo show, big hairy rocker comes in wanting a pic of a female guitarist on his back. Quick google and they find the perfect image and after a few drawings he's happy and gets it on his back.

Goes home and shows his mates, one of them pipes up.........

"Why did you get a Miley Cyrus Tattoo?"

I have an amusing story about a friend.

She was engaged to this bloke, who it turns out, played away from home - after he left his computer logged into some swingers/dating websites. Not a good move!

Friend splits with this guy, but soon enough they get back together, and everything is forgiven. To show his undivided loyalty to her - after all, they wedding is back on - he agrees to have her name tattooed in his groin area.. rather large tattoo too.

She sits with him in the parlour while he's getting inked, and when he's done, they walk outside together to start a new life.

Or so he thought. She dumped him right outside, and warned him never to try to contact her again.

He walks away with a new tattoo of her name. She walks away with a smile, knowing for the rest of his life, people will ask him who the name is on his groin....

Classic 🙂

Was her name Wendy?

she could of just boiled his bunny..