[Closed] From 2 to 3 children..

no idea from a parental point of view but being the third of three sucked.

and cutting things into 5 is tricky.

Being extremely poor? I'm one of 5 and I don't know how my parents afforded it.

Sharing bedrooms is tricky once you get older for obvious reasons; and Uni is going to bankrupt you.

Buy the new bike you've been promising yourself prior to the arrival of number three. You'll be skint afterwards.

D.

3 children is double the trouble of 2. Good luck.

Going by my family, the best thing to do is go directly to child 2 and 3 and bypass child one.

Sorry Ian.

cutting things into 5 is tricky

You'll have one more child than you have hands...

You'll have one more child than you have hands...

And knees.

And testes (though annoyingly there's no test for which one each child came out of!)

I've found the biggest issue is that your perfectly behaved youngest child suddenly becomes an epic shitbag middle child. HTH

Just make sure you don't end up with middle child being the odd one out gender wise.

Just make sure you don't end up with middle child being the odd one out gender wise.

or have twins and end up with 4.

Oh, don't believe the doomsayers! Some of what you get will depend on the gender mix of your children and what order they appear in (all boys is not the same as two and one, or whatever). It also depends on how far apart they all are in age.

I was the second of three boys, and we pretty much all got along with each other, even if, sometimes, I might have seen myself as a combined peacemaker/shit-disturber.

Mrs SR and I now have more than three children of our own, and wouldn't have things any other way.

We know two couples/friends who had two kids each and thought 'just one more'.

They both had twins.

Yep I think it's middle child syndrome and becoming outnumbered by the kids

It's fine. The difference between going from 1 to 2 and 2 to 3 is much smaller....but obviously the pain lasts for longer 😉

1. You are now outnumbered as a couple.
2. You start looking up the number for the vasectomy clinic.
3. You will be driving a grey, diesel people carrier shortly.

We are 3 years into this, and only look enviously at friends with one or two children occasionally. Yes it costs more, everything family wise seems to be planned around 2+2, holidays, days out, cars etc.

On the plus side we don't seem to be experincing middle child syndrome (yet). It may be because both me and the other half are middle children and both with the other 2 siblings of the opposite sex. The bickering and arguing do get on your nerves but the kids seem to put up with us just fine 😆

We even chatted the other day about having one more, but that option is cut off to us (literally).

Do it, whats the worst that can happen?

Family tickets are usually two adults and two children as are a lot of food portion packs.
Factor in a larger car, as they get bigger the fighting on the back seat can be come much easier with a third row of seats. Then of course they argue about who sits in the back row.

Second time round for us was twins so we went straight from one to three. As old hands, dealing with twins was not much more difficult than coping with a firstborn.
My wife would probably say that giving birth to two however was much harder.

We have nearly a 6 year gap between our youngest and second youngest. The hardest thing to overcome was the sense of once more sacrificing those freedoms that had started to come back, the ability to ride more often being chief amongst them.

We're lucky in that our 3rd child is a joy and relatively straightforward to raise, whilst his brothers are old enough to occupy themselves. If all 3 were of similar ages it would be a whole different prospect.

We have three, 10, 8 and just turned 4. Eldest lad and 2 girls.

Pros - awesome fun! Dinners are a hilarious riot of noise, along with the dog we have a self entertaining family unit which makes holidays and stuff great, but as they all have friends the house is usually completely rammed with little kids dressed as princesses, older girls skipping and doing gymnastics and boys either flying helicopters round it all or shouting over competitive minecraft! Brillaint!

Cons - see above! + babysitting/childcare a bit trickier - its a lot to ask of our parents. Big age gap was good in that we never had three total dependants, but bad in that it is only this term, for the first time in 10 years, that my wife has got some mornings to herself.

We are in a fortunate position that we do not both have to work full time, as I can imagine the costs would have been crippling if that was the case.

I say, crack on, its a right old laugh!

going from 1 to 2 was the biggy, 3 is just an iterative step.

1. You are now outnumbered as a couple.
2. You start looking up the number for the vasectomy clinic.
3. You will be driving a grey, diesel people carrier shortly.

Done
Done
Done

At its worst, 1 is tough, 2 is 10x tougher, 3 100x

3 boys, and it's like a jackal pack. If one shows a sign of weakness, the other two tear in..

On the plus side it is AMAZING how quiet it seems when one goes to a friends.

Mrs SR and I now have more than three children of our own

Saxonrider, You make it sound like either a) you've lost count or b) you dont like to talk about Child#4 due to the impending court case.... 😉

Stoner - Member
Saxonrider, You make it sound like either a) you've lost count or b) you dont like to talk about Child#4 due to the impending court case....

I wondered if someone would pick that up.

It's just that when people find out how many kids we have, the assumption tends to be that we are religious nutjobs, or don't care about the environment, whereas (hopefully) the opposite is true on both fronts. 🙂

It's bot that much trickier depending on age gap, bit tricky when they can't do the same things but should get easier as they get older. In a few years time I might have some free time.

3 boys, and it's like a jackal pack. If one shows a sign of weakness, the other two tear in..

Yup 😆

And no one wants to babysit even for an hour

My 2nd is batshitmental

I say, crack on, its a right old laugh!

Ignore this, it's mostly shit, although mine are 4,3 and 1

3 lots of love!! and pretty much 2 hotel rooms everywhere you go once they are out of a cot!

I have 3 girls aged 2,4 and 6..
The work rate goes up exponentially with each one. Make sure your riding gear is all organised and given the chance you can throw it on at the drop of a hat and go for a spin. Most of my riding is now on the road to work and back but have a variety of routes to take depending on my energy levels. Recovery from hard rides is difficult if you aren't getting enough sleep. The hardest part is staying cool and not shouting when they are misbehaving even though you are worn out through lack of sleep and had a stressful and shit day at work.

My 2nd is batshitmental

Reserved that for our 3rd, to lull me into a false sense of knowing what I was doing - number 2 was a breeze.

It was like God's own full stop on my reproductive career. Pick the bones out of that, sunshine.

Ignore this, it's mostly shit, although mine are 4,3 and 1

You'll be pleased to learn 'It gets better as they get older' is also complete horseshit. It gets quicker, more painful and more embarassing as they get older. On the plus side you'll be over the worst of it in 15 years.

They are great but anyone who claims it's easy doesn't have 3+ kids full time 😀

Third kid is mentally 4 years ahead of her peers due to the influence of older brother and sister, we keep forgetting that she is only 6 and not really 10.

Third one is the easiest to bring up the first two kids we were really learning. Still,learning but not at quite the same rate, and the education is contributed to by all of the family I.e. Sister taught little one to read before she went to school.

Biggest hassle..cost generally..and getting a table that seats us all, we end up using two tables in cafés (which gives them a bit more independence)...

No regrets, third kid is as awesome as the first two were, if not even more so

I don't totally get the whole 'cost' question. I suppose it must be the case that raising a third is more expensive, but because we (Mrs SR and I) have been budgeting accordingly for so long, we really don't know any other way of earning, spending, and saving.

Yes, creative configurations are sometimes needed when you go out places (including restaurants, hotels, camping, etc.), but eventually such configurations are not more difficult than they 'normally would be'; they ARE normal.

In other words, go for a third and get on with life. 8)

we have three, aged 10, 8 & 6.

x3 boosters are difficult to fit in most cars, need a people carrier otherwise there is always an argument about getting belts on.

1 to 2 was easy, the 3rd introduced a new dynamic which has resulted in a lot of shouting and arguing. Can't explain why, but third on was is hardest, despite being more experienced as parents. Three seems to argue much more than two.

Final thing, by the time no 3 comes along you need to remind yourself to take baby photos and stuff. we have about 2000 pictures of our first child, about 1000 pictures of our second and about 5 of our third!

My ex-wife thought there was no difference between 2 and 3 children. I on the otherhand thought the difference was huge. As long as one of you isn't a lazy fat **** you should be fine.

From 2 to 3, lots more work. You've literally run out of hands to start with. Cars: you can't buy a proper car any more. There isn't a single proper motor car sold in the UK to seat 5, never mind two adults and three ISOFIX seats. Every car that can do that has a roof, and is therefore vastly inferior. Holidays: you're not called McCann so you'd like to finish the holiday with the same number you started. Of course if you're mega rich you'll take nanny along and get as many rooms as it takes, but for most of us it'll be a family room in a hotel. Practically none of them are for three kids, they're all 2+2. School: schools aren't actually too bad with kids, they've thought about it a bit, but make sure you space them out a bit better than we did, though that's not very practical. 8.30, walk a mile to school with three kids, one in full time, one in half day nursery, one baby or toddler at home. Get to school, drop kid one and two for nine o'clock. Walk home. Nursery finishes at half eleven, so eleven o'clock load kid 3 up again into pram, off to nursery and back, home at 12. Lunch and a whatever activity you have time for, and back on the go at 2.30 for 3 o'clock school pickup, back home for half past. That's three hours every schoolday kid 3 sits in the pram, buggy or sling going to a school they don't even go to. Let's go swimming, aaaaaaaargh! Ever tried drying and changing three wrigglers in a 3 foot square cubicle? Try juggling macaques with suicide vests it'd be easier. We always knew we wanted three, and I essentially gave up work for a decade to make it possible, but it sure keeps you busy, and skint. Firstborn started University today, and the house seems sooooo quiet this week. I might even go and get a proper job again. Go for it if you want three, just save up, do all the DIY, ride your bike and go on holiday first, then switch off your brain for five years and enjoy.

Ooops, that went on a bit.
[img] [/img]

Cheers everyone for your thoughts.

So we are going to have a third. My wife was not sure if she was, but 3 tests (to really make sure) later, have confirmed that a little 3rd is on it's way.
Literally my first thoughts were;

1. You are now outnumbered as a couple.
2. You start looking up the number for the vasectomy clinic.
3. You will be driving a grey, diesel people carrier shortly.

Then came space.
We have just moved. Sigh..... anyway, but we are looking forward to it, with all the joy and not so much joy he/she will bring.

[i] You will be driving a grey, diesel people carrier shortly.[/i]

You will be grey, driving a diesel people carrier shortly.

ftfy.

I have 3 boys. The additional of a third creates 50% more work at least, doubles the amount of fights, arguments etc. Suddenly many hotels require you to book two rooms, silly things like that.

It is also huge fun seeing the third monkey trying to keep up with his big brothers, interacting and generally being a clown. Having had two babies already you are more relaxed with the third and I personally enjoyed that more as a result.

Food begins to be consumed at an amazing rate. Bikes that have been handed down once are already so battered and abused that I don't think they can be handed down once more. Additional expense all around. Big car / van needed, whey hey we have got a van. You can't fit 5 bikes on a bike carrier, curses. Logistics become mind bending, leaving the house for any kind of outing with the whole family is pretty epic. There is always one that has a problem, a question, a demand, or has hurt themselves, or run off while you were not looking.

Keeps you on your toes for sure!

or have twins and end up with 4.

As a father to twins I can't even begin to imagine their pain.

My wife has always wanted 3 (now she says 5......)
I've been very happy with 2. As 2 fits.
Saying that, a 3rd is welcomed 2, but I can see all the extra hassle they will bring.
Holidays, just moving around in general will need far more planning than is currently required.
And, we have just managed to get rid of all our old baby stuff.
We need to go and buy some more now 🙁

leaving the house for any kind of outing with the whole family is pretty epic.

reminds me of Michael Machintyre's sketch

[i]or have twins and end up with 4.[/i]

Knew someone with 4 girls.

"Let's have a fifth, maybe we'll have a boy."

Twin girls.

ohhhh boy so many of these sound familiar.

We went for the second whilst the 1st was 10 months.....2 for 1 offer that week. Came up twins.

When they were all in kindergrippe.....a years fees would have paid for a very nice car.

You become a lot more relaxed, I mean, you have 3...you can afford to loose one....although the little buggers are very good at finding their way back home.

You dream of one day having a 2 seat convertible just for you and the wife.

Crazy amount of food...I don't even want to think about when they are teenagers.

They argue like cat and dogs, then 10 minutes later they are best of mates, great when you go anywhere, they are quite happy to mix with other kids, but will also play among themselves.

Meal times are noisy, but good fun.

You drive a van which you've given up caring about long ago.....there's a new eco-system growing in the back of ours.

I have a nice big tent too.....although trying to get them not to keep tripping over guide ropes and playing with the zips and pockets......still working on that one.

Then came space.

We've just moved in to the inlaws whilst our 2nd extension in 5 years is finished. Thankfully we all get on, but 7 people in close quarters gets testing. It'll (apparently!) be worth it when it's done 🙂

No people carrier yet, and I'm not grey but that's mostly because I'm bald 🙂

Here's my 3 in a rare moment of not killing each other, though the eldest was seemingly trying to do himself in.....

[img] http://bit.ly/1QL4B1s [/img]

There isn't a single proper motor car sold in the UK to seat 5, never mind two adults and three ISOFIX seats. Every car that can do that has a roof, and is therefore vastly inferior.

Even Hitler looked silly in the back of a convertible - if a car has no roof, it shouldn't have back seats.

Friday nights are our big night for kid activity. Daughter to Rainbows for 6, Middle boy to Beavers for half past, go and pick daughter up from Rainbows at 7, take home to pick up eldest for Scouts and drop him off as you pick up No2 at 7.45. Get littlest two in bed and wait for Scouts to finish to pick up Biggun then you can finally kick off your shoes and relax. At 10pm.

I used to go out on the lash on Fridays, now I'm a service industry for 3 ungrateful urchins.

Wednesday is quite relaxing. Drop boys at Karate and relax in pub opposite for 2 hours. Lovely.

Third one is the easiest to bring up the first two kids we were really learning

My wife and I are always amazed that daughter number 1 survived her early childhood, because we simply didn't have a clue. 😳

Congrats on the forthcoming number 3.
3 is, erm... fun but hardwork and relentless (especially the youngest).
Got two boys (10 and 7) and a girl (3) but all have birthdays within a 4 week window starting later this month (bad planning).
Cost is definitely the big issue, but we saved by my better half not working and therefore not having child care to pay for. Still earn less than we were both working 10 years ago though. Youngest will be at school full time next year and mrs looking at going into teaching.
Car - Honda FRV (3 seats front and rear - but could do with more boot space). We manage with just one car, but that's difficult especially when all three have different activities (mondays, daughter has ballet, middle one has rugby and eldest has track training) - all manageable so long as I do as I'm told.
Grey hair? Well beard has a nice badger stripe and hair is starting to grey and thin!
Snip? Check!
Biking? Commute every day and try and mix it up with different rides throughout the week. Nice evening today so planning a 40k cross bike ride home.
Worth it? Definitely. Half of my friends who stopped at 2 kids have discovered a void in their lives and are getting dogs instead!

Note to self - arrange vasectomy.