[Closed] Friends and the lack of. Depression, suicide and a friendly offer of a brew.

I am too far away, and also a horrible ****. But, good post, we need to be more open about shit like this.

I'm not in the same place as your mindset, but I am a great listener and can ride every weekend generally. I'm also over in Berks, so a hike. But the offer is of course there.
Sat morning next week is likely ride day. Cake is mandatory.

I think it’s useful to have an open thread like this. Maybe a ‘we are riding here this weekend if anyone wants to join us’ kind of info.

Would be nice to get people together to talk. We are an amazing community on here.

I’m in the West Midlands and mostly a roadie now. But the offer is there to anyone, the OP included, who wants a brew, a cake and a spin on the road bike.

If you ever fancy a trip to Derbyshire then I will most certainly go for a pedal and coffee/breakfast.

Would love to go for a ride mate, but I live a bit far away!

I'm in a similar situation too, my only real friend has two wheels.
I occasionally wonder about this, but then, I might just be an unlikable tosser. Hard to know for sure without feedback, though 🙂

I'd happily meet up at Cannock if you are ever over this neck of the woods. Just to warn you I will talk the back legs off a well manufactured donkey

Sarf Downs rider here, more than willing to show off the Downs around Eastbourne or the nonexistent singletrack in Friston. Rides do involve pub stops, beer or cider.

The offers are amazing . Look how we rally around. Anyone reading this thread who is struggling and lives near any of these kind folk, I implore you to take them up on their offer and get some fresh air and some company.

I'm in Bolton so a bit far way but I just want to say stick with STW.

This place is fantastic when people need cheering up or any help.

I ride alone all the time since my mates kids came along. I've missed loads of riding time thus year as I just CBA but I now set myself a goal to ride as much as possible.

Set myself a desination then head there with the option of train ride back. Did that last week and got talking to a young couple who where cycling who were mad as a bag of frogs 😆

I'm too far North in Scotland, but I hope you find some folk to ride with and build some friendships.

There is an active riding group at Rendlesham/area.

What are you doing tomorrow? I'm in Cambridge, have the day off, and have my bike with me. Was planning to cycle to Saffron Walden (or wherever!) if you fancy it?

I have plenty of experience in what you're going through, too, so we can go for a decent pedal and good chat.

Email in profile, let me know!

Harry

Just to add - I have my mountain bike here too if you prefer to get muddy!

I’m a miserable git, and seriously unfit and slow on the bike. However if you are ever down swinley forest way! I’m there

I'm in Cambridge. I've PM'd you.

Stay strong mate, too far away to offer help up in Cumbria, but great to see the fellowship of man , still strong as ever on this forum, great offers so far.

I’m a miserable git, and seriously unfit and slow on the bike.

Sorry I'm way down in Cornwall OP otherwise the offer would be there, well it still is but you know what I mean. You'll find plenty of local support over the next day or so as people see the thread, I sincerely hope you find what you need. All the best.

BITD people were organising rides on here all of the time. Hopefully this thread will kick that off again.

If you want something a little hilly (?) I’m in Ipswich. Can meet you at the station for a bit of a mud fest. E mail in profile.

Anyone in West Yorkshire wanting a ride let me know, happy to chat or not if it helps someone. Mountain biker but don’t mind a slow canal bimble or an enduro session...

BTW props to the OP for seeing something that can help and having the balls to come on here and seek a friend, can’t be easy but very admirable

Hi, have you tried things like meet up, there may be a group near you and it's very easy to use and get you out with other folks.

Jmatlock, I'm in the same position as you but I'm in NE England so a bit far to do a day ride, else I would.
I'm sure that you'll get lots of locals (to you) from here offering their help so just hang on a while.

Wow, this thread. Refreshing. 🙂

I figured I wouldn’t be the only one struggling. But as blokes we never speak up. So, if we can put people in touch with others and get guys out talking and riding, brilliant.

Oops

Other side of the country to you in Gloucestershire, but I’m always happy to ride with someone new.

I'm based near Reading so Swinley forest or Chilterns for a ride. Plenty of cracking pubs and no shortage of coffee shops if anyone wants to meet up.

Jay

Whereabouts are you, central? There's a few clubs about that may be worth a look if you are looking for roadie buddies.

I'm usually busy during the week as I work in London, free during the day Saturday if that's any help though, email's in my profile.

OP, did you see Burchill's post above? Wouldn't want you to ask for help and miss the most useful reply!

I'm a bit far away from you but if you find yourself in South Wales ( I'm near cwmcarn ) give me a shout , I've also suffered from depression for the last 16 yrs.

P.s I also love coffee and cake 🙂

Know what your going through as have the same feelings often.Only real friends is my bikes.

In Scotland so bit far away but it's good to chat about it and as men we always try to cover it up.

Another Derbyshire sufferer/listener here.

Earlier this year I got involved in organising informal social rides supported by Fat Lad at the Back. It's got me out riding, doing something I love, and meeting lots of other people who just need someone to organise a get together to ride. It's been great for me and the feedback has been really positive.

Even today I had 9 out in shitty windy weather for a cafe ride.

Jmatlock I'm in Ely, sending you a PM

I'm up in York. More than happy to meet up with anyone in my neck of the woods.

simondbarnes - Member 

BITD people were organising rides on here all of the time. Hopefully this thread will kick that off again.

This thread can be anything it needs to be, arrange rides, talk about stuff, offer some advice and support.

It’s a killer, it really is. And it’s nice to be able to get guys talking about it.

I’m miles away from you but have been through it too. Good post - opening up is key. Hope you get out for a ride/blether and cuppa.

TS

In in Milton Keynes, family committments mean it's a weekly night ride at Woburn for me, start at 8ish weds or Thurs, welcome to join me !

Noth Downs and/or Surrey Hills breeze shooter here if needed.

I'm near Cannock Chase. I scan the front page of the forum a couple of times most days.

If anybody at all wants to go mountain biking, road biking or windsurfing near here for a day, for the sake of their health or somesuch, either start a thread saying so (and keep bumping it) or email me.

I'm usually able to free myself up given a bit of notice, I'm a good listener (and better talker!) and if you post on here there'll be a whole posse coming out.

If you don't have kit, I can probably sort something suitable. If you don't have transport, I'll pick up from Stafford Station.

I’m also in Cambridge (for now), I’ll get in touch in a moment.

I'm in Loughborough and willing to ride at any pace if people need an ear to blether at 🙂

OP. Well done. You have people talking. Good thread and good luck to you.

[b]jmatlock[/b] Some great responces there above, just dont ask any details of their school days youll be in for serious laughter and surprise.

Best wishes on finding a riding partner, youve got a hell of a choice there.

Loughborough too here. I ride pretty much every Saturday morning locally, more often than not on my tod, so again, if you're in the area feel free to PM or post on here.

OP (and anyone else feeling similarly) - great thread. Well done for saying it "out load"

New Forest area here. I'm not in the same boat but I most definitely am a grumpy ****er who rides alone most of my time. Happy to join anyone for cake & a coffee (and a ride if needed), though that's mostly evenings or some weekends

Well, my email is always on; as is the kettle in my workshop at weekends and the office kettle Monday to Friday.

I’m also happy to set up a group chat/ whatsapp group for people to talk and vent.

If you’re struggling then you’re not alone. Loads of people here care and are listening.

Props to you jmatlock. I’m in North Birmingham, I keep an eye on my profile so if anyone wants to meet up for coffee or what would be the slowest ride of all time right now. Drop me a line. I ride a lot in Cannock and occasionally a quick hour in Sutton Park for a brief evening spin.

My physical health is a bit shit right now,so when I say slow - I’m not being modest.

Unfortunately i am nowhere near you to try and offer a ride, but i feel your pain. Been depressed for a while, posted on here a couple of months ago and had an amazing response.

In between all the bickering and comical responses, everyone here will go out of their way to help and do what they can. We have been very privileged to be on the receiving end of it and will be eternally grateful for all that has been done.

Had a group ride the other week, really uplifting. Still haven't got round to cleaning my bike though.

Good luck OP, email in profile if you need a shoulder.

Check out Meetup. Great site and app for finding people and activities open to others.

I'm happy to meet at Woburn or Possibly Chicksands. Off-road only for me though. Organised rides Every Sunday at Woburn. My email is in my profile..

I call it cycle therapy. The chance of exercise, company, the ability to both talk about all sorts of rubbish, or just be silent and enjoy being out with others is a combination that makes for your health. I am down in Winchester if you ever fancy a bit of South Downs action.

Well done on starting this as well. As a community this place can be amazing some times when the keyboard warriors take a back seat and you get genuine offers of help. Long may it continue.

Im up in Bolton so if you are ever up my way please let me know (offer is also open to anyone else) I would be more than happy to meet up.... id love a riding buddy. At the moment i ride on my own. Ive been back riding for a few weeks. Also out of shape so im building my fitness back up.

I think many guys (myself included) are/have been in a similar position and feel the need to battle on without saying anything. Its refreshing to see you reaching out. I know through personal experience that trying to sugar coat things on your own can make things worse.

Although im a distance away if you ever want to chat or just vent over email let me know. Hapoy to help where i can.

This forum is at its best when people need each other , over the years of being a member I have seen a lot of examples of us rallying around to help people.

It’s important to stick your ego to one side and either ask for help or offer help to others. With stuff like depression and mental health you literally might be saving a life.

Good post OP.

I too suffer, really bad for the last 18 months (pretty much to the day) and think I’ve ridden a bike once in that time. Totally lost interest in anything bike related (Apart from posting crap on here) piled on a couple of stone and fitness has plummeted.
I know there are folk out there (and some on this thread- a genuine thank you to you) that have offered to help, but I’m so flakey that I know if I arranged a ride I’d just let them down right at the last minute as I couldn’t face it.
Luckily my brain lets me enjoy something, and that’s volunteering for the NT, so I’ve thrown myself fully in to that, it’s outdoors, active, and I go home feeling knackered... Just wish I got paid for it.

One day I hope I can join you for a ride. Good luck Op (and others) and thank you all for offers of help

A few years ago I joined the local cycling club and after my wife and kids it's probably the best thing I've ever done, every week there is always someone to ride with and have a coffee and a few laughs and plenty of other informal rides throughout the week, I've lost weight and made new friends, I'd thouroughly recommend it.

Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

I know that a huge part of my depression is being stuck in a job that I hate and get zero satisfaction from. It weighs heavy on my mind.

OP - I'm 15 miles or so west of Cambridge and happy to get involved in anything arranged (with as much notice as possible of time, meeting point, pub / cafe stop etc)

as per replies to the thread, you're not alone and have done a good thing in 'coming out'

hopefully see you at some point

OP, will mail you later

I'm near Swinley and the Ridgeway if you fancy a day on the trails and grabbing some food after 🙂 . This applies to anyone- always up for a bimble.
Email in my profile.

The responses to this thread have made me smile on a rubbish Monday.

We man not be able to agree on head angles and bike geo but we won’t let each other struggle.

Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

I know that a huge part of my depression is being stuck in a job that I hate and get zero satisfaction from. It weighs heavy on my mind.

same here, one thing I always do is have some kind of cycling/running event booked in the future, so I have a non work related personal goal in my life that I can focus on and work towards

Yet again this proves that bikes = awesome.

I live in Scotland but work in Cambridge, so if you wanted to guide a furriner sometime that would be great. I'm down every couple of months to the office.

Anyone struggling with the Monday morning blues?

Every Monday, usually drags on into Tuesday as well.

@trademark from page 1. I may drop you an email. All my riding buddies either live at the other end of the country or have given up on bikes altogether. Not having a trail bike doesn't help.

Calderdale (HD6) here, group ride + chinwag every Monday night if anyone needs it. Grumpy northern sod(s) blessed with a high "talking bollocks" tolerance!

Email in profile 🙂

I hope we can put some people in touch with some other people and keep the thread relevant.

This thread is nice

🙂

Thanks for posting this jmatlock. If I were closer I’d love to come out for a ride, chat and cake. Unfortunately I’m a fair way away. Having a difficult couple of years with Funk Jr, plus the impending arrival of baby Funk and taking on more responsibility at work have pretty much killed my social life and fitness.

It is what it is and I love my kids. Really miss regular riding and hanging with friends though. More so as the nights get longer. I have depression, managed with meds, but the long nights still take a toll. Writing this in front of one of those insane high powered lamps.

Rant over. Kudos to you for starting this thread and I hope you find people to ride and eat cake with (mostly eat cake).

mostly eat cake

NOOOOOO

He wants to lose weight, dammit!

I can always manage a little bit of cake.

Cake is fine, just ride a bit more 😉

We are currently in the middle of setting up a charity mostly based on being outside doing something productive to help all sorts of mental health issues. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that some of this is actually self medication. Just being outside doing anything seems to help a lot and it may also help if there are others around doing the same thing as you. This, for me, is often bike riding, but I have found that there are a lot of people who like learning new skills, some of which we may be able to turn in to some productive use. Surprisingly enough one of those things turned out to be spoon carving, which I now teach. I just used to do it when sitting around a camp fire, but loads of people love it. Who knew?

Anyway if anybody is interested I have copied the link below ( definitely not an advert as we are still setting up, more as info if anybody who feels it may help and live near Winchester drop me a line on here or dm if you are interested).

[url= http://www.oneacorn.org/ ]One Acorn[/url]

Calderdale (HD6) here, group ride + chinwag every Monday night if anyone needs it. Grumpy northern sod(s) blessed with a high "talking bollocks" tolerance!

Is that Brighouse? Looking for folk to ride with in HD5 but that’s other side of Hudds. Currently have knackered legs and want to get out but would be seriously slow.

jmatlock, I take my hat off to you, I really do. That was a brave post, but through your bravery and honesty you have made a lot of others reading this (and yourself probably) feel just a bit better about life. Well done.

I am up in Scotland so far away but if I was closer I would have been proud to go out on the bikes with you.

Good luck and keep the exercise up.

Just want to repeat what others have said about starting the thread and if I was closer I would be up for a cycle and chat but I’m in Wakey.

If anyone in the area wants to meet up a chat, cycle or someone to off load to get in touch.

I know what it’s like, I’m currently on anti depressants for the third time in 10 years and I’m likely to be on them for another at least another year. I try to get out on my bike whenever I can for a bit of me time and I find it helps to clear my head a wee bit and too get some excerise.

Keep it OP, you’ve done th right thing in reaching out for someone to talk too.

Hello
I'm in North London &a miserablist, Chris Packham fan.But don't let that put you off.
I can show you Epping forest/Hertfordshire/Surrey/lakes&
Chilterns if you fancy .but usually the first two.

Email in profile .

STW has an uncanny knack of helping to sort things, even if only in a small way. I'm in sopping wet South West Wales and have been threatening to organise a group ride for far too long.

I'm more than happy to share my favorite ride with you and lead a Tywi Track ride but bear in mind that it will be very wet, and bearing in mind that winter is on its way, very cold too. Multiple river crossings, a bothy, rocks, mud, wilderness... it's an amazing experience, even better when shared.

Ambrose

https://www.theswanseabay.co.uk/2016/06/29/bike-ride-month-tywi-track/

Newrobdob - it is brighouse, ride is 7pm from the Ritz nr Tesco. 2.5 hours or so, pint + natter afterwards 🙂

I'm always up for a ride. Cardiff and also a variety of places with work - currently Swindon.

I avoided this thread due to the thread title and my own problems, but I'm just down the road in St. Ives.
I've also got a bit fat and my fitness is the worst it's ever been as I've been off the bike due to injury.
Would be well up for a ride, just need a bike first!