Just back from a week in a very meat cuisine focused location.
My guffs are weapons grade at the moment.
Oddly, curry doesn't affect the trumpage. Now, Jerusalem Artichoke, however, PAAAARPtastic.
Raw cabbage
stuffing balls
:shocked:
Hobgoblin. Every time. Just relentless.
Oddly, sainsburys Orange and dark chocolate granola.
Brioche.
Melton Mowbray pork pies.
Pure evil miasma within a surprisingly short timeframe
stuffing balls
eww - how many can you get up? do you fire 'em out like in a bangkok floorshow?
I'm like the queen, my farts don't stink!
All food and drink
Same as TJ. Raw red cabbage every time. I've been warned off eating the stuff :o)
Ice cream, which is sad because I love it, in fact most things dairy aside from cheese.
They’re the sorts of farts when I can let rip on the way to work, forget about it and my car still smells when I leave again at 5.
Haribo.
I resisted getting in front of my wife for the first 3 months of our relationship, then we needed to go on a long car journey for which she brought some haribo along...
long bike ride believe it or not have done one once.
Porridge. Guaranteed smelly guffs around 3pm if I have porridge breakfast. Li
cauliflower. Fortunately, I love it, sliced into steaks, spritz of oil, cajun seasoning (adds some frissance to both the eating and the guffing) and in the oven for half an hour.
Couple of hours later....... individually they're not devastating meaty style ones, but frequency x a certain je ne sais quoi.
Flashy?
Pease Pudding ..only sold in certain parts of the North East ..good with salads or sliced meat sandwiches..
Greggs do a Ham & Pease Pudding Stottie..
Lethal ☠
Beer
Sprouts
Potatoes I suspect also
Fried eggs do it for me.
Within half an hour I'm dropping proper eggy sulphur guffs.
Rye bread. It makes my farts so obnoxious that I often went hungry at breakfast rather than eat it when if was all that was on offer when I lived in Finland.
Rye IPA too which is a shame because it's lovely stuff.
Also copious amounts of garlic. They wake me up at night they're so bad.
Dried apricots. That’s all I have to say
cabbage ,especially with pearl barley & leeks.
Any member of the cruciferous family will set the windows rattling around me and if eaten with mushrooms will advance trumpage levels to Defcon 2. However, for full on nuclear war levels it has to be the humble "Beanfeast" soya based ready meal. I haven't seen them for sale for some years, which is probably a good thing considering how tectonically unstable the earth appears to be currently. I can imagine they are banned for sale in countries like Iceland and Hawaii.
EDIT: I just googled Beanfeast and flatulence to see if I was the only one. It seems not! And it appears that STW has previous on this topic too as this was the 3rd hit on Google 🙂
https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/another-persons-embarrassment-is-complete/
Lentils. eggs. Lentils and eggs.
Badger Blandford Flyer
Enville Ale Ginger
so bad that make myself gag
Whole roast garlic cloves and olives proved near fatal on a recent trip to Spain . Absolutely disusting stench.
Marston's Pedigree
Onions
better still, onion bhajis
Given my diet is mainly veg, fruit, bread, eggs and beer I am generally a bit of an environmental health hazard - but sometimes without realising I can eat beans, lentils, chickpeas at multiple successive meals which is deadly.
If I guff when the cat is sat on my lap it gives me the evil eye and then responds in kind...
McCowan Cola chew bars
Had one once and spent rhe next 5 hours emitting the most noxious, oily, lingering vapours I've ever inflicted on humanity.
This was in 1998... the fact it is still seered into my consciousness almost 20 years on should give you perspective on just how bad it was.
Haven't seen them for sale in years, the UN must have got to them before ISIS cottoned on.
Haywards pickled onions. Seriously i reckon it would strip paint. Its bloody horrible. I've been banned.
Everything and nothing. There's no pattern to it. Today I am honking but yesterday was a vegan burrito , then sausages and mash. Nothing suspicious there. It might be the very beige food day on Thursday which has slowed things down and let it rot inside too long. Most likely.
Jerusalem artichokes every time. Fortunately the season is fairly short.
Green lentils. Burned my eyelids a few times.
Simple baked beans and more recentlly, qinoa. Absolutely shocking.
Pizza. I rarely have it but the combo of processed meat, bread and cheese make mine stink.
Birdseye chillis , onions ,chicken & garlic all together.
Utterly bogging : )
The mystery ingredient in the gravy in jackonelli’s chip shop in Maryhill. It’s weirdly opaque - looks more like brown emulsion paint. And while it’s brown... it’s not gravy-brown, it’s a weird not-food brown.
soon after the volume (in both senses), speed, frequency, duration and potency are all utterly alarming.
but it tastes ok and they give you lots of it
Mrs S and i still talk about the Sosmix (vegetarian sausage mix) incident. We honesty had to get dressed at 3am and leave our flat for a while as we were both retching so much from (both of ours) farts.
I look back on it with genuine shock and awe .
"I look back on it with genuine shock and awe"
And a little pride, I imagine.
Malt Loaf always did the trick for me, but having more than one would run the risk of ‘following through’!
My 13 year old son is proudly carrying on the family tradition, and his fondness for sunflower seeds and biltong produce truely eye-watering results.
A fellow drinking partner and I used to refer to a particular brew as "Theakston's Finest Eggy."
Stilton
