Found my teenage so...
 

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[Closed] Found my teenage son’s stash. What to do now?

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So Mrs Stern found a little plastic bag lying on the staircase filled with skunk. It would appear to be from our 17yo son. I confronted him about it and he admitted that he had bought from a friend of a friend. I asked him why and said the usual reason...all my friends are doing it and I warned him about the dangers of smoking and toking once again  and told him I was disappointed in him. I also confiscated his stash.

So what to do now? Do I give it him back? As I’m pretty sure he’ll just waste another 30 euros buying some more. Do I destroy it in front of his face? But that would just mean he would resent me and it seems a bit pointless. Mrs Stern is up for re-visiting our early years and making it into cookies! 😱

On the one hand I want to be a responsible parent but on the other side when I was his age I was well into the whole head scene myself and I would feel a total hypocrite playing the irate father. Would would the STW massive do?🤔


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:34 pm
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Posted : 11/10/2018 9:35 pm
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I’d take Mrs Sterns advice or set up a bucket bong when your son is out. Relive that misspent youth!


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:36 pm
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Explain your concerns and past experience of it to him - allow him to decide .. and keep your fingers crossed.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:38 pm
 sbob
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Make the cookies, don't tell the son about the added ingredients.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:38 pm
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So what to do now? Do I give it him back? As I’m pretty sure he’ll just waste another 30 euros buying some more. Do I destroy it in front of his face? But that would just mean he would resent me and it seems a bit pointless. Mrs Stern is up for re-visiting our early years and making it into cookies!

Smoke it in front of him, let him see what his parents look like stoned, should put him off 😉


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:39 pm
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Smoke it with him? Nothing will make it super uncool quicker than getting high with your parents!


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:39 pm
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Lock him in the cupboard under the stairs and don't let him out 'til he's smoked it all. That'll teach him.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:40 pm
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and told him I was disappointed in him

Why the disappointment? FFS He’s smoking weed, he’s not a Trump Supporter.

It’s  a rite of passage that most take. Doesn’t make you a bad person..


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:41 pm
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I like your thinking mikewsmith! Nothing more uncool than seeing your dad throwing a whitey! 😄


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:42 pm
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Why the disappointment? FFS He’s smoking weed, he’s not a Trump Supporter.

TBH because he was careless enough to let his mother find it.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:43 pm
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Tell him the truth.  I can't stand all the hypocrisy around drugs from all sides

If you don't want him smoking it now then you need to explain why.  will he know you used to smoke?

No doubt sitting around getting stoned all day is a really bad thing to do especially as a teenager.  Makes people boring apart from anything else  😉


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:59 pm
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Having had to counsel my boss when his son was sectioned after smoking skunk you might want to set fire to it without inhaling the smoke.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 9:59 pm
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hmm.  i'd be a bit concerned simply because (in the UK at least) weed is just so much stronger than it used to be, even 10 or 15 years ago, and 17 is fairly young

I'd probably not give it back (tell him not to be such an plonker in future), but sit down and have a chat, explain risks, use some of your experience - don't read him the riot act but get him to educate himself. I know plenty of people who got themselves into a serious mess with weed, and i'm sure you do too!

Also find out how much he's toking. I knew people who smoked 24/7 at that age because it was 'rebellious' and 'cool' - like 8am on the way to college - which is dodgy ground IMO.  If it's just friday night round at a friend's house I'd be a lot more comfortable with it


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:00 pm
 Gunz
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As TJ said but a warning/chat about the strength of the heaviest stuff may be useful.  It's nuclear grade compared to what us olds used to smoke and I believe this is the reason it's linked to more mental health problems nowadays.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:02 pm
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there really is only one human response to this situation.

smoke it with him.

it will instantly become an infinitely less cool activity, and you will have bonded with him on a level that at present, he can only experience with people outside of the family.

you might make a prat of yourself, but at least it will be a laugh and his smoking mates will respect you (and by association, him) for being 'down', leaving you in a great position to offer advice about the dangers of excess.

otherwise he's just gonna be out rebelling against his square parents, smoking super skunk with only his muggy mates for support.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:04 pm
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wise words Yunki


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:17 pm
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When you say skunk, do you mean in the old school sense (ie actual skunk) or do you mean modern skunk (ie high thc, low cbd?)  I think it could call for a bit of a different response- though tbh these days the strong stuff is easier to buy than the good stuff.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:23 pm
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Posted : 11/10/2018 10:24 pm
 Drac
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Party at Roter’s house everyone.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:25 pm
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A member of my family has been in and out of mental health institutes for the last 20 years.

The family has always pointed the finger at the skunk he smoked.

Maybe he would have had those problems anyway. Maybe he wouldn't.

Watching his troubles put me right off the idea of smoking anything


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:27 pm
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My dad had 'the chat' with me... did it make a difference? Did it f*** 🖖


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:34 pm
 myti
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I had my 1st ever joint age about 16 at a party with my mum. I noticed some friends of hers smoking it and I asked her if I could get a go as I was interested to see what it felt like. We talked about it and her only concern was the tobacco aspect and that I might get hooked on cigarettes as she had once been a fag smoker. So she asked her friend to roll a pretty pure one and I just had a couple of little puffs and felt great. Had she said no I would have gone underground with it and done it anyway with school friends but because of her attitude I feel I can share most things with her. I went through the uni weed phase and now 20 years on don't touch the stuff and never smoked cigarettes.

Don't be a hypocrite. Just sit down and voice any concerns you have about it and don't make it a rebellious thing.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:40 pm
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Popping a whitey infront of him is the best suggestion ive seen so far.

Fingers crossed its the same shit northwind has been smoking.. 🙈


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 10:54 pm
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How about just having an open and Frank discussion about it with him? It doesn't have to be awkward like the sex talk, just tell him your experiences and concerns.

There's no need to be a grumpy old dad about it.


 
Posted : 11/10/2018 11:10 pm
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I don't know much about drugs, or kids.  But if my kid was smoking dope I think I'd rather foster a relationship where they felt they could talk to me about it rather than having to sneak about hiding the fact that they were doing it.  Doubly so if it were exactly what I did when I was their age.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 12:34 am
 sbob
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Tell him, in front of his mates, about the freaky sex you had with his mum whilst high as hell on his weed.

The association will put him right off.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 12:36 am
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To be fair, whilst my post above was true, the most effective thing my father did was not to make it too big an issue: "I know what you're doing, please be careful and if you ever need any help I'll always be here". Short, simple and effective.

As with many teenagers, my mates were trying it, so I did. I don't think he could have persuaded me not to, but he did trust me to know when enough was enough (but as others have hinted, the stuff around in the 80s was not the same strength as the stuff that's around today).


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 12:46 am
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Start with some Little Feat, Dixie Chicken or Sailin' Shoes.

Then a bit of Cornershop, Voodoo Ray, some funk.

Move on to some Gong, Eno or Beefheart, finish with some hot buttered soul.

Stock up on Vimto and biscuits. Lots of biscuits.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 12:50 am
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Lots of biscuits

Mars bars... king size!  🍫🍫🍫

Little Feat, Dixie Chicken or Sailin’ Shoe

Ozric Tentacles, King Crimson, Spacemen 3...


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 12:55 am
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<p>Vimto? Nah, Snapple gets rid of dry mouth like nothing else.</p><p>Don't have anything else to add, everyone has covered it pretty well tbh. Cougar made a good point as well, better you know what he and his pals are up to than finding out the hard way.</p>


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 2:32 am
 JoeG
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Get him a subscription  https://hightimes.com/subscribe/


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 3:20 am
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Fizzy pop, crisps of all types, chocolate and the Platoon soundtrack. That's the proper way.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 4:29 am
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Kyuss, Fu Manchu and Monster Magnets Dopes to Infinity. Ooh and Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks or Moondance for that mellow vibe.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 6:03 am
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Couple of tickets to amsterdam insist he follows you round the cafes.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 6:59 am
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Don’t be a hypocrite, tell him you and you wife used to smoke the stuff, clearly he’s following in your footsteps...

and this:

Tell him the truth.  I can’t stand all the hypocrisy around drugs from all sides

If you don’t want him smoking it now then you need to explain why.  will he know you used to smoke?

No doubt sitting around getting stoned all day is a really bad thing to do especially as a teenager.  Makes people boring apart from anything else


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 7:21 am
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My mind must work differently - I thought this was gonna be a thread about grumble mags....


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 7:36 am
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So, you can use it but he can't!  As you say, hypocracy on  a grand scale. But then it is tbe STW way. Crack on.

Perhaps explain how it didn't **** up your life but it will his.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 8:22 am
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Punch him the nuts, that'll learn him!

Alternatively treat him like the adult he almost is, explain your experiences and concerns, treat him like a kid and he'll act like one.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 9:34 am
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So what to do now?

buy a bong and enjoy 😉


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 9:57 am
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My mum found my stash of Thai stick when I was about 16.

Sat me down & gave me the ‘drugs are not to be trifled with’ speech then made me roll a spliff & share it with her.

She then proceeded to take the piss out of it mercilessly, “sleeping bag”, etc... and showed me how to roll a decent 3 skin.

I don’t think the incident changed the way I viewed drugs and I did smoke on & off until my late 20s/early 30s but it definitely helped that I knew I didn’t have to be secretive about it. She wouldn’t let me smoke at home but I felt happy to talk to her about the fact I was going to the park for a cheeky spliff, that sort of thing so I guess in my case it helped for her to know what I was doing rather than wondering what was going on behind her back.

That being said, in those days it was grass or resin not skunk; some of the stuff about nowadays is more powerful to the nth degree that we had in the 90s. Maybe having a smoke with him will help you understand how strong it actually is. He’ll be more likely to open up with you about how much he smokes and you can approach the idea of moderation etc with him from a better position.

Oh, mini flapjack squares, toast with jam, gallons of tea & The Orb....


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 10:05 am
 Gunz
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The Orb

Pizza

The Doors, 'American Prayer'

Cheesecake

KLF, 'Chill Out'

Small glass of red

Bed


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 10:16 am
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Dry herb vape and hope that he doesn't get hooked on the cigs? 😀

I'd be tempted to go fo rthe full bonding experience, get him up at the crack of dawn while there's still mist on the ground and go hunting out those little liberty caps 😉


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 10:29 am
 ajf
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Is this a stealth ad?

I had the chat with my mother about various shenanigans I was up to in the mid 90s.

We were always a lot more open after that. She didn't like it but knew it was going to happen and would rather that she knew and I was responsible as opposed to hiding and hurting. Later found out drugs was not a unfamiliar territory for my parents. (Mainly Dad) and have also took parents to proper raving clubs with all my mates in 90s heydays

So I'd say give back but have the chat, otherwise safe disposal preferably with mates, beer a good movie and snacks. Still have the chat though as you may have only found the thin edge of the wedge.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 5:59 pm
 Olly
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Get a disguise, sell it back to him. Then confiscate it again.  Repeat. Profit.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 7:08 pm
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Just turn into naked pot smoking hippies around the house in front of him, that will definitely put him off!


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 7:20 pm
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say you found it in the street just outside the gate and offer it to him , as a little test. he will know he has lost it . he doesn't know you have it .

like double jeopardy, he wants his gear back so he can get nice and mellow, but he does not really want you to know he smokes skunk.

If he takes it its a admission of guilt , and he will expect the talk, If he denies all knowledge then sit him down and burn it in a saucer in front of him, when its all gone, let on where you really found it


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 8:04 pm
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Just turn into naked pot smoking hippies around the house in front of him, that will definitely put him off


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 8:54 pm
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Unless it's a teeny tiny bag he may be spinning you a line about how much he spent ,30 yoyos will get you ****all skunk. As suggested before smoke it with him.


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 8:59 pm
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30 euros would be plenty for an eighth...


 
Posted : 12/10/2018 10:06 pm

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