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Going to a wedding this weekend, first one for a few years and we're in for the whole thing.
I feel like there's some unwritten rules around formal/gents attire. Obviously, I could Google it, but let's see how suave and sophisticated we all are.
Obviously, trousers must be kept on at all times... But apart from that I'm wondering...
When wearing a suit, should a belt always be worn? Even if the trousers fit well and don't need hoiking up all the time.
Do I need to wear a tie if attending the whole do?
Do I have to keep my jacket on until the groom removes his first?
As a guitarist in a wedding band, number one rule for all guests should be "Don't speak to the band, especially not mid song"
....and no I haven't heard of your uncle Steve's band that were quite big in the 90's.
Where's Flashy when you need him?
What does it say on the invite?
Just follow that, if you have one ounce of sartorial nous you will immediately look better dressed than all the other men there, just try not to outdo the groom 🙂
When wearing a suit, should a belt always be worn?
Depends on the trousers, if they are by Rubinacci then obviously not, if they have belt loops then yes it will look better.
Must be full tails? Only joking, only Russians and footballers do that.
Belt if needed, tie is always the right thing. I hate them but always looks smarter.
Jacket on until you sit down. Unless it is stinking hot!
Action Man™ was incredibly well dressed because he ever wore a belt on his underpants.
Jacket on until the bride gives permission for the men to remove them.
The correct answer is...you should have visited your bespoke tailor 6 months ago.
You didn't so...if trousers have belt loops, wear a belt but must be correct width; if brace buttons, wear braces but never clip-ons; if side buttons or zip adjusters, use them.
Always a tie at formal event; top button of shirt fastened; windsor knot.
Pochette optional.
At reception, jacket on; evening do...whatever you like.
To be honest, you can never be overdressed. You can be un-imaginative (penguin suit) though.
As a 'rule'. The closer you are to the couple, the smarter you need to be.
Trousers?
Wear a kilt!
Belt should match the shoes. But if you aren’t going to remove your jacket, it won’t ever be visible, so don’t ask, don’t tell - kind of like scotroutes’ underwear.
Tie - almost certainly yes. I now own significantly more ties than I have annual reasons to wear one.
Jacket done up with all but the bottom button when stood up, unfastened when seated.
Of course, after a certain time, jacket off, sleeves up, tie round your head Rambo style and give it large on the dance floor…
I always go for my kilt, waist coat, jacket and bow tie. most importantly a proper bow tie not one of those daft clip on jobs, once the night is well underway you can untie it, prop up the bar looking suave.
If you're sharking you can tie a bow tie on your target of choice, and flashes have their post wedding use too....
Jacket on until
you sit down.the groom has removed his
No comment.
All my mates are married now though so no chance now.
Always gone by the groom removes jacket first. Recently went to a wedding sans tie but with a waistcoat. Wasn't the only one either.
What passes as formal smart these days has really changed - I got married about a month ago and didn't wear a tie or did the best men. You could even wear trainers with the right trousers and blazer. Only people that had full on suits at my wedding were the oldies and the only young people (well 30s) in ties didn't wear jackets. I would say pick a few brands that your comfortable in you like and see what they do.
Always gone by the groom removes jacket first.
Is this a thing? I wish i knew i would have made people sweat... literally.
What passes as formal smart these days has really changed
Not really. People just got lazy.
And yes it's a thing - it's rude to lower the formality of the man of the days event before he has.
What's next hats indoors......cutting your toenail on the train ?
Flashy will be turning in his grave
I never sit down with my jacket on, spent my younger life going to too many parties and dinners with so many rules on what you should and should not wear and do!
If you happen to be at the type of wedding were guests start issuing 'fines' for the wrong clothing and etiquette, good luck!
Always gone by the groom removes jacket first.
Is this a thing? I wish i knew i would have made people sweat… literally
I didn't know it was a thing, but suspected it was as I went to wedding about ten years ago and popped my jacket on the back of the chair at the meal, then looked around to see I was the only one.
Need to track down a better belt then and nail down my tie choice. Don't think it's supposed to be too hot this weekend!! 😳
Long as your not at the same wedding I'm at on Sunday 😉
Ooooo... It is on Sunday! Lancashire? Fylde coast?
Haha no Glasgow.
5th time lucky for this one. We were running out of pages in the diary this one's been in so often.
I think I've only worn a suit and tie at two weddings - my Sister's and my mate when I was best man.
Recent ones (my nephews) have been very casual, so nice shirt and trousers, no jacket or tie.
And yes it’s a thing – it’s rude to lower the formality of the man of the days event before he has.
Some people really give to many shits.
If they've invited you, they must like you. They either won't give a shit or they'll take the piss out of you.
If they get offended by your dress sense, they aren't worth it, IMO.
Must be full tails
Have suit and it needs three outings to break even. Done one so far 😉 . No top hat required. Something smart that fits. You can't really under-dress for a wedding.
I really don't understand why people are so offended at the prospect of being asked/expected to dress a bit smarter for a special occasion. Do we really need to dumb everything down to the point that everyone rocks up in smart-ish jeans and clean-ish trainers? Especially after covid - can we not make a bit of an effort for an in-person occasion?
It's a wedding: put on a jacket and tie for crying out loud (unless there's a specific understanding that you don't). Anything beyond that is up to you.
Teenagers usually get a pass on the jacket, as they can't reasonably be expected to have one - but if you're a grown man without a jacket/tie, it's probably because you keep kidding yourself that you don't need one.
I suppose "need" isn't correct - you can of course show up wearing anything you like, but deliberately turning up to a mate's wedding underdressed is a bit of a dick move - particularly weddings happening now, which are likely to have been postponed several times and may have members of the family missing.
If they’ve invited you, they must like you. They either won’t give a shit or they’ll take the piss out of you.
Conversely . They have invited me. I'll give them the respect of dressing for the occasion.
I really don’t understand why people are so offended at the prospect of being asked/expected to dress a bit smarter for a special occasion.
Little bit strong, don't this is the case at all. But being told when you can and can't take your jacket off is just ****ing stupid.
If you're at the actual wedding, wear a jacket. Most people will also wear a tie. If you're just at the evening do, no jacket (or tie) required!
Matching belts or continuing the weddings colour theme is just a bonus. Make an effort, people will notice, but I love the fact that some people don't conform. Most will still make an effort though.
Edit: @trail_rat - yes I agree, but that's just putting a suit on. Not buying a new wardrobe and conforming to stupid non rules...
You should not take your jacket off before the groom and you should also ask permission from the ladies on your table to remove your jacket 🙂 Though be prepared for the ladies to think you are mad 🙂 Thats the modern world for you, no class 😀
It's up to the bride and groom to decide the tone, and it should be on the invite or you should ask for clarification.
But I'm old enough to think:
I really don’t understand why people are so offended at the prospect of being asked/expected to dress a bit smarter for a special occasion. Do we really need to dumb everything down to the point that everyone rocks up in smart-ish jeans and clean-ish trainers?
And
They have invited me. I’ll give them the respect of dressing for the occasion.
I'm casual/scruffy 99% of the time. Dressing smartly on occasions when it's required, for work or socially, is part of the fun for me.
Obviously, trousers must be kept on at all times…
This is completely negated by:
Wear a kilt!
Undercrackers too.
I bought my wedding dress (Kilt) at the same time as my Wife, but mine has been re-used for every wedding since - Just with different shirts/ties/Sporran/belt/ensemble. But always a Skian-dubh - you never know...
I’ve never understood this whole dress code business, in pretty much any scenario not just weddings. Well, so long as I can’t see tackle/brown!
There are no rules....
.... only ethics
When wearing a suit, should a belt always be worn? Even if the trousers fit well and don’t need hoiking up all the time.
If you want to, if you're trousers fit, then no worries.
Do I need to wear a tie if attending the whole do?
If you put a tie on, I think you're pretty much obliged to keep it on until at least after the wedding breakfast is finished, folk are mingling around tables nipping outside for a fag, and so on
Do I have to keep my jacket on until the groom removes his first?
This is completely arbitrary, personally if I'm sat down for dinner I'd take my jacket off regardless, if your shirt is pressed, your tie neat, and you're not sat next to Lady Bracknell, you'll probably be OK.
I once went to a wedding in a top hat, bespoke suit and red Converse.
/CSB
Not really. People just got lazy.
And yes it’s a thing – it’s rude to lower the formality of the man of the days event before he has.
What’s next hats indoors……cutting your toenail on the train ?
thats some pretty peak male fragility if someone taking off a jacket before you offends you. But do you mate. Im cool with hats indoors even hoods up. I could often be found at my desk at work with a hat on, hood up and headphones over hood. its comfortable and means I can block people out. But then I did work in the type of office where it was acceptable understand thats unlikely to happen at a law firm.
One of the last weddings I went to, everyone but two people were in morning dress. Invitation didn't specify it, just some unwritten rule.
Guess who one of the two people was? Yep, it was me. My brother-in-law was the other. Just 'normal' business suits. Literally every other man was in morning dress.
OP: Does the invite give any clue? Or have you whatsapp'ed the groom/best man to check
Personally I'd wear a belt, if the trousers have a visible button and loops it looks like you've forgotten it. Ties... I hate them but will wear one on occasions like this, unless no-one else is, also mine gets taken off once photos have been taken etc as Nick says
Completely depends on the Bride and grooms choice, I've been to lots of weddings which were formal so i went with 3 piece suit and the whole 9 yards, and ive also been to some which were informal and smart jeans and shirt were worn, and even some which were in a field with a mini festival type vibe where the dress code was "Whatever you're comfortable in" Smart shorts and a light short sleeved shirt - like what you would wear to a posh restaurant on holiday in a hot country.
I always go whole 9 yards unless specifically told i don't have to by the bride/groom.
It depends entirely on the folks whose wedding it is.
Blimey. I'm old, own a whole bunch of mid-price suits mainly for work but a couple not, including a shiny Paul Smith one that's pretty much only been worn at weddings and that I'm happy to have an occasional excuse to put on. But I wore jeans and T-shirt at our own reasonably sized thing because that's what I prefer.
Suits? Belts are good, ties have pretty much gone, and I'll get through this life without ever putting on a waistcoat (pronounced wescut if you're a ****) but as I say, I'm old so who knows what the kids are into.
it won’t ever be visible, so don’t ask, don’t tell – kind of like scotroutes’ underwear.
English weddings don't sound much fun!
Suit and tie, waist coat optional, unless you’ve been told otherwise.
If the suit has belt loops then wear a belt even if one isn’t needed. Belt to match the shoes.
Pocket square optional, and it should compliment but not match your tie.
Jacket stays on until the groom removes his. Asking the women on the table if they’re happy for you do so is proper old skool and I think is a nice touch.
Ans never be the drunkest on the table.
Literally never heard of most of these 'wedding rules'.
Thankfully none of my friends who have had weddings in recent times have stipulated a uniform I must adhere to. I can't think of a wedding that hasn't been "wear whatever you want", which is good, because I don't own a suit these days as I don't live in a world where one is needed.
Dressing up is a shirt & chino's.
If you show up in a suit, you will fit in.
If you show up in a shirt and trousers/skirt, you'll look like a kid on work experience.
If you show up in corduroy and a hoodie, you look like some kind of basement-dweller who just doesn't know how to behave in public.
If you show up in a stylish outfit that's none of the above, you'll be cool.
If you show up in a suit, you will fit in.
I however, will look like someone who has just left prison and is trying to sell double glazing door to door.
The inverse snobbery on here is fantastic!
Ans never be the drunkest on the table.
We had a free bar at ours and a complementary bottle of grappa on the hockey team tables. Holy crap, some people were wasted before the band even arrived. All got very, very messy.
We didn't care in the slightest what anyone wore...
You lot have some weird friends with weird expectations.
Fact: no-one is looking at you, they're looking at the two up front. Dress smartly, that's it.
Unwritten rules about taking off your jacket before the groom? Get in the sea, it's not the 1800s.
Phew, I thought it was just me! Luckily any weddings I’ve been to recently have been pretty relaxed affairs and AFAIK no one has cared what I’ve been wearing or at what point I took my jacket off and loosened my tie (assuming I was actually wearing one).
oh yes - I've been to a wedding where a big point was made by the bride that the groom's party should keep their jackets on until a specific point in the day.
The only other thing like that that I'm vaguely aware of is ladies are not supposed to take their hats off before the mother of the bride.... or something? I remember someones mum getting annoyed about it at a wedding I went to years ago.
Both of these things felt ridiculous at the time (because they were)
I can only envision one more event in my life that I will ever wear a suit.
After that you'll have to put up with me being smart casual.
I could often be found at my desk at work with a hat on, hood up and headphones over hood.
Doesn't the ruin the sound quality?
I can only envision one more event in my life that I will ever wear a suit.
Good point, maybe deserving of a different thread, but why exactly do you need to be dressed smartly to be buried or cremated? I mean, it can't be so you look good meeting your divine maker, who has been watching you scratch your balls in your stained underpants for the last few decades?
Kilt, (source of the expression 'the full 9 yards' btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8) heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket over. Belt with pewter or chrome buckle. Choice of sporrans; for casual, being leather or furry & chrome for more dressy weddings. Lace up brogues, heavy wool hose, flashes and of course, a proper sgian dubh.
Doublet stays on until it's too hot.
Flask in the sporran, with something relevant and potent.
Doesn’t the ruin the sound quality?
Not really... well not for me any way. Im sure some audiophiles would be horrified but I got decent headphones so it sounds ok. Most of the time its done simply because my hood wont fit over my headphones.
Kilt, (source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_whole_nine_yards
WTF is a wedding breakfast? Can’t believe I’ve got to 57 years old and never heard of one before. Is it a new thing?
WTF is a wedding breakfast?
Traditionally, weddings are a Eucharist mass and so the bride and groom would have fasted so that they can receive communion after the service. So the traditional meal would have literally been a break-fast.
Given that no-one has mentioned hats on the thread so far, I think it's safe to assume that no one understands formal attire at all.
source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw
I've also heard that it refers to firing all the rounds from a P51 (or other USAAF fighters) in one go, as the length of the linked ammunition comes to a total of nine yards . i.e. "I gave that 109 the whole nine yards"
heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket...
Isn't there a rule that you shouldn't wear an outfit that's more flamboyant than the bride?
Jacket stays on until the groom removes his.
I'm another one that has never heard this rule. And I do try to dress up and everything. And I've probably been to 30 or 40 weddings.
Where does it come from? Is it specific to weddings, or would people have come across it at some other occasion?
Isn’t there a rule that you shouldn’t wear an outfit that’s more flamboyant than the bride?
Don’t yuck his yum
From my (very) limited experience of dining with the RAF, the invitation to relax dress (take off jackets if desired) comes from the commanding officer in the speeches. I may be wrong here, but I believe it's the host's responsibility and choice; for for your average wedding that would be the father of the bride #1800s.
There's also not eating until the top table start, never leaving your seat during the meal (chair and cutlery etc will disappear!), passing the port and other such antiquated shite. It's nice to know how one should behave, even when one can't be arsed doing so. #prettywoman
nick - if properly formal, men's hat would be a topper to go with the morning coat if before 6pm or dress coat if after 6pm; colour of bow tie also changes - before 6pm a slight dash of colour is allowed but must be white with dress coat.
No patterned weskit if formal wear.
If semi-formal or lounge suit, hat not required; optional for older generation.
Hats for ladies - obligatory; anything from fascinator through to full-on mother of bride creations.
Having straightened that out, now off to press my socks! Not a euphemism...
if properly formal, men’s hat
Unless your in Scotland and wearing a kilt.....
Except of course you are serving or retired military.
thats some pretty peak male fragility if someone taking off a jacket before you offends you
Just saw this.
You do know you can be rude without offending someone. If your comfortable being rude that's on you. Not me.
Some people are rude just by existing...
I've also discovered, since starting this thread, that if you are wearing braces, you most certainly should not remove your jacket as you are effectively showing your underwear.
GF and I went to a wedding a few weeks back.
Waiting outside the registry place some of the locals assumed that we were the bride and groom as we were the best dressed.
The GF wore a blue linen dress and a blue linen jacket with a black t-shirt, jeans and some nice clean trainers. I didn't think we were dressed up.... until we saw the other guests.
Kilt, (source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8) heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket over. Belt with pewter or chrome buckle. Choice of sporrans; for casual, being leather or furry & chrome for more dressy weddings. Lace up brogues, heavy wool hose, flashes and of course, a proper sgian dubh.
Doublet stays on until it’s too hot.
Flask in the sporran, with something relevant and potent
I struggle with the whole doublet/sleeveless jacket thing, all a bit neo Jacobite for me, an improvement on a hired prince Charlie hire outfit certainly but bit casual for a wedding.
I like a kilt outfit that I can wear anywhere without people saying 'what did he come as?' so just plain old dark tweed jacket and waistcoat, a shirt and tie makes it acceptably smart for weddings etc.
Isn’t there a rule that you shouldn’t wear an outfit that’s more flamboyant than the bride?
I went to a wedding once where someone turned up wearing a plaid, looked like he was wrapped in a tartan sofa throw, his girlfriend completed the reenactment look by wearing what looked like a linen sack, I think the rule is you have to be wearing actual clothes.
No1 wedding reception rule - Never get smashed on the strong stuff before eating 😉
Just started planning our own wedding and really couldn't care what people wore. Smart or smart casual would be nice but wouldn't mind if people turned up in jeans and t shirt. The most important thing is they're there.
The GF wore a blue linen dress and a blue linen jacket with a black t-shirt, jeans and some nice clean trainers.
It sounds like a lot of clothing for one woman, but I'm sure she looked fabulous.
It's about time all the formal clothing conventions just died.
Men dressed up like penguins, women getting tutted at for not wearing dresses and hats just feels so Victoria.
I've always respected the dress code as it's the bride and grooms big day but being hot and uncomfortable in a suit and tie really doesn't make me enjoy the day at all.
A couple of years ago I went to a lesbian wedding. The dress code was "wear what makes you happy and be brave!". It was fabulous, no suits, lots of bright colours, lots of flamboyant outfits. Mrs Elbrus and I wore matching 50's style dresses in different colours, so cool and comfortable on a hot day. Only one couple came dressed traditionally (I think he was one of the brides boss). After the ceremony, they disappeared and came back half an hour later. He was wearing her dress and she was just wearing his waistcoat and boxers. I've never seen wedding photos where everyone looks so happy.
After the ceremony, they disappeared and came back half an hour later. He was wearing her dress and she was just wearing his waistcoat and boxers.
Now that's cool
It’s about time all the formal clothing conventions just died.
Well, if folk want to dress up like that they should be able to, and I think it's about one of the very few days that people ought to be happy to oblige. At the same time the wedding is the bride's and groom's, they really do belong to their friends and family on the day, so the least you can do is dress up a bit if they've asked you to.
Oops, seems I have broken most of these 'traditional' dress code rules. I wear a kilt and jacobian shirt (means I get away with not wearing a tie, don't like wearing a noose round my neck) then just a sporran (wear it side saddle when dancing, I'm sure you'll figure out why), big woolly socks and flashes and comfy shoes/hiking boots. Even down south/abroad people seem to accept me wearing my 'skirt', no-one has complained about me yet anyway
Yes, I'm not suggesting turning up in jeans and a jumper if the bride and groom want formal dress.
And I'm certainly not suggesting that if the dress code is informal that men shouldn't wear a suit and tie if that's what they want to wear.
But if you want your guests to enjoy themselves, then allowing them to wear clothes that they find comfortable should maybe be a consideration.
Let's have some pictures of your suit alternatives.
I hate suits.