[Closed] For the first time ever, I'm feeling old.

Happy B'day & welcome to grumpy old(er) age!

I'm 50 in July, I feel amazing. Life is turning out far better than I ever hoped. I'm paying my mortgage off in a couple of months, and I'll be retiring in 5 years. Does that make you feel any better.

Happy birthday, I hope you get everything you wish for.

Happy birthday 😛

It's all a matter of perspective. When I was twenty I wasn't sure I'd reach 40, it was an eternity away. By the time I got to 40, it was announced on the radio that 50 was the new 40: bastards! they've moved the goalposts 🙄

I'll be 58 next month. I'm doing as much as ever, I have to choose my battles and it just takes me a little longer to recover. To quote Joe Friel:

[b]Age isn't a problem until you use it as an excuse.[/b]

I'm about 18 years older than you and I remember that feeling you have.
Don't despair, you still have lots of prime years left.
Mrs BigJohn and I haven't stopped doing anything we used to do at 16.

51 in 2 months. the last 5 years of ill health have made me feel like a shadow of my former self.
i feel old and infirm somedays..........but i will keep on keeping on.

Mrs BigJohn and I haven't stopped doing anything we used to do at 16

Id always thought Id grow out of frantic masturbation too!

There's was supposed to be a smiley in my post but didn't show, sounds a bit smug without it, wasn't intended to be.

Sounds like It's not your age that's the problem, it's your job. I'm a 61 yo retired empty nester. My 50s were my best decade yet! But I hate not having my kids at home anymore, however I am determined this year to build a better new life for myself and my wife. Enjoy your life, it goes in the blink of an eye!

Nearly 42, I try to avoid impact stuff now tbh, like footy etc, as I know I'll be sore for a few days but that's probably because I don't do it enough to get used to it again. Mortgage will be gone by 46, then the fun begins.....

Sounds like a job issue not an age issue.

48 in 6 weeks. Currently work part-time in a job I hate, but bearable part time. Rest of time spent running round after kids and a wife who works 60 hours a week. Some leaps of faith in the past means we have been mortgage free for 2-3 years now, massive reduction in stress.

I have more aches and pains these days, but my age doesn't bother me. I'm fairly comfortable with what and who I am, and I can't be bothered wasting my finite time on this earth caring what others think about that.

you need a longer clip for full context, but Al Murray has it nailed

I did 45 in Jan. Yeah I felt the same. Too many niggles about my health that are just part of normal age related degradation.

Two things: I can still ride a bike quicker and further than a lot of my younger peers and there are always people with a worse deal than yourself.

Jog on.

53 next month. Just cannot believe how fast time goes by! Don't mind January and February flying past in the blink of an eye but its crap when July and August do the same.

I think I've said this before to the OP but you always seem to be chasing something you can't have, whether that's an Audi RS4 or a mac, and that's just dragging you down. Once you realise you don't need shit like that your world may be a happier place. Have a think about why you want those trinkets in your life, separate the needs from the wants. Those items you crave won't fill the void you're trying to fill and won't put you in a happier place.

I'm 45 this year, it's awesome so grateful to be alive and kicking life in the face daily, my best years are ahead. Why on earth would you waste your life worrying about stuff you cannot do anything about? Embrace the old and work harder than you've ever worked before. I love being tired, means I've done something and got purpose.
First day back on the climbing wall today with my boy after recovering from yet another injury. Good. If you're not almost permanently injured, you're not doing enough 😆
Comfort is a killer, and not a viable life goal.

Happy birthday.

51 here, I have just read the cancer thread.... 😡

Gary_M - Member
I think I've said this before

Yes and I wish you'd stop having a swipe at my character now. As I've clarified in other threads, I'm no longer yearning for material items, and neither did I state that in my OP.

This thread was a morning gripe, no more.

I have just read the cancer thread

Likewise. 😐

Kryton - the commute and kids can be relentless. Does your budget have any flex for Part Time? Money is tight but it's the best decision I made. I work a 75% roster, but tax rates means it's only a 16% cut in pay.

Ey, Hippo Birdies..two Ewes.

It is all down from 45, 50 hits and you sink into a fug of despair and depravity. You try to look on the bright side, but the light just gets turned off by someone else, someone younger and fitter and terribly handsome. Women will look at you as though you are in thier way, rather than that slight glint in thier eye they used to give you, they'll run over your right foot with a heaving shopping trolley and glance disdain at your sad trainers. Your Sons will be bringing home sweet young things soon enough, you'll damn near take an eye out on the open cupboard door as you glare at the shortness of skirt and think to yourself.. she should be wearing something more appropriate.
The Boss will once again walk right past without acknowledgement, you're left open mouthed filled with "Morning Xxxx" but all that comes out is a whimper, a gasp, a pffffft and the shoulders roll over as you slide towards the coffee machine. The old fat guy in Accounts calls you up, asks "fancy a beer Friday?" And this time, of his asking 37 times previously, you think "hmmm..might be nice". Two Grads in this years internship help you find your glasses, not that thier lost, no, that they're on the top of your head and you'd long since stopped randomly pestering Mavis, Julie and Tony for thier help. They'll look, they'll s**** under thier breath, knowing that Your day has finally arrived.
The car park looks thinner, less cars, you question why in your head. The left hand reaches for the top button of your shirt, undoes and tugs at the tie. The tie the wife bought you from M&S for your last birthday, which now you think "nice pattern". Two blips later and the cars open, jacket off and you edge yourself into the drivers seat. "Odd, I thought the seat further back than this" as random thoughts now pass through your brain, the once sharp biting witty retort brain. But no, the creak in the lower back, the throb of muscle as you bend slightly, not enough for a full bend, but enough to make you whince, twice, and take a breath... And relax into the seat, the seat that was once sporty, nee trim, fitting, glingy and firm... and you think.. "ohhh.. that's a bit tight around the thighs". The radio pops into life as you press the bright red Start Button, that button that gave you sooooooo much pleasure and excitement when pressed, the thoughts of whizzing along "making progress" as you lithely sprint from corner to corner, to find yet another talk show on about Brexit and Youth and chat from callers shouting down the phone, the crackle and hiss through the speakers annoys, no gets right under your skin and you poke disdain and mumble and turn it off. You pull out of the car park and smell something odd, a fuddy waft of .... runny chocolate, a sickly sweet fug and slowly come to terms with the cars not your own..it's the family waggon, the swing bin with an engine.
And there's a queue to get onto the main road.
And you wish for it to rain.
But it's sunny, hot, ideal bike riding weather.
And you're stuck in the car, on an endless snake of belching traffic, and it takes you 55 minutes to get home.
And the Suns gone down by the time you pull into the driveway, I say pull in but there's another car in Your Space!!!

Old age welcomes you Sir.

I'll go for the fug of depravity

But only if it's really really depraved

It is all down from 45, 50 hits and you sink into a fug of despair and depravity.

Does your budget have any flex for Part Time? Money is tight but it's the best decision I made. I work a 75% roster, but tax rates means it's only a 16% cut in pay.

Amen brother! Means I can fit in all the family stuff without becoming a gibbering wreck. When the kids are older I can up my hours a bit more, maybe MrsMC could drop a day again to give her a break.

Money can buy you some happiness. Chasing it all the time can kill you. We manage fine without half the things we "want".

At 43 and 25 years this September since I moved to Southampton, I'm increasingly thinking where the heck did the last ~24.5 years go?

Life doesn't always turn out the way you imagined and that's certainly the case for me, due to stuff like university not working out and especially due to depression including SAD, which in total lost me the best part of 12 years. After almost five years being in no fit state to work, I then started paid work again in late 2004 and have been since, but I learnt the hard way that I'm incapable of working full-time (not helped by a bad lower back injury in 2008). Then in more recent years, the freak RTA I had four days after turning 40 sent me into a downward health spiral.

So here I am, ~25 years away from retirement, still waiting and wondering if I'll ever be able to step on to the first rung of the housing ladder while trying not to think of the ~£65+k I've spent on rent over the last ~10.5 years.

But at least my better half works these days, which means I've been able to start saving some money to put into a HTB ISA over the last year. My lower back has been much happier since last summer, I've lost ~14Kg (down to ~79Kg) since last year, both of which have made me feel so much healthier along with the weekly 50+ miles of cycling I've been doing since mid January.

I'd love things to be better than they are (wouldn't we all?), but at least things are getting better, which gives me a bit of hope.

Welcome to the "Marmalade Club" 🙂

I have GPS running and cycling data for when I was 45 and now (50).

I'm faster at both now and wasn't bad at 45.

My apprentice at work yesterday he said he felt old looking at all the new students. He's 20. We have an Apple Mac at work that's older than he is.

And your sense of humour is lost, on everybody.
And your teeth look slightly, disjointed.
And your skin feels tighter around your mouth.
And you've found grey pubes, not one but several arranged randomly in the thicket.
And it's your turn to put the bin out.
And, try as you might, those fitness tables you've logged on Strava over the years recently took a downward spiral into oblivion, yet you fail to recognise the demise and convince yourself and others "I'm fitter now than I've ever been"
And you soft peddle the last 10k home.

Hey, you're not old! I'm 4 months older than you and I still feel young enough to go racing and piss about on a mountain bike...

So happy birthday, and stop your whining 😀

I'm 61 next month but most people think I'm 50. Apart from slower performance on the bike I don't feel old and the really good thing is how self-confident I feel after suffering terribly from shyness as a kid.

I was 50 last month and wanted it to go away if I'm honest. Really depressed me but my mates basically got me to MTfU & posts like the one today from the 44 year old told he has cancer really put things into perspective. Rather than feel miserable about being 45+ be grateful that you've made it so far unscathed and enjoy it to the full. Others won't have that luxury.

Oh, happy birthday btw you old fart

Kryton57 - Member
...Instead, my job wears me out to mental exhaustion by Friday, I return not ungratefully to the detritus and merry go round of two kids and bedtime before i can relax just a little while...

My son attended the funeral of one of his staff today. The poor fellow was due to retire in a weeks time.

My son commented to me that the job will be filled within a week, and the only thing the dept would notice was the cost of a wreath.

Work to live, don't live to work.

60 here and needing a hip replacement but have much to be grateful for , the hip is the first thing I have ever had wrong with me other than the odd cold and ultimately can be fixedThere is an old proverb that I read somewhere that says something along the lines of The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance , the wise man keeps happiness all around him . You are still relatively young and need to enjoy what you have in your life and if you are finding that difficult to do then you really need to be honest with yourself and decide what changes you need to make in your life to make things better . Having said that you seem to be a person who puts a lot of posts on here about his feelings . Probably everybody on here has similar thoughts occasionally but keeps them mostly to themselves . Enjoy and be grateful for what you have .

62 this year and enjoying life more... be better still when work ****s me off in 11 months - bring it on, it's just getting in the way and I no longer need it but I'll take the redundancy and do things I want to do. Optimism makes you young so just look forward to it 🙂

[i]Yes and I wish you'd stop having a swipe at my character now. As I've clarified in other threads, I'm no longer yearning for material items, and neither did I state that in my OP.[/i]

Fair enough, don't take the hump. As an aside did you buy the discovery sport that was last months middle class whim? 😉

Similar age and out this morning for race training. Brisk 50 miles and 1200m climbing on the road, being battered by 14 year old son - that makes you feel old! I'm hoping the first mtb race will show we've both got faster compared to our peers (rather than me just being older and slower than last year)......

Well Im 51 this year. But with a 4 year old son and a 40 yr old wife, feeling old is not an option. So I dont

^^^ Stealth boast!

60 here, part time which is good in comparison to full time.
I started feeling old(er) when my eyesight started giving up when I was 37. My eyes, teeth, joints are all fubared.
Done 24 miles on the NYM today & feel ok though, so all is not lost!

53 here.
it ain't your age that makes the difference, its the shit you go through (or not) on the way.
I sit with a bunch of middle aged blokes thinking, why am I sat with these middle aged blokes? Boring old bastards.
Then I listen to 20-30 year olds talking bollocks and think, jeez why do these nippers talk such bollocks?
Life's weird. Be weird with it.

Whippersnapper ! 61 now , took the money and ran from Royal Mail 2009 , since then "worked" for a season in Whistler , done 2 riding trips to the States , 3 weeks in NZ with the Mrs and in August off to the Canadian Rockies to fill in the gaps in my riding destinations ??

I'm 50 later this year. I wasn't looking forward to it, but then I decided I'd get myself a new bike.

I love bikebouy.

And Kryton, get a new job already!

56 here and loving life more than ever. Off to the states at the end off the month for the masters then Washington and atlanta. Next weekend is a northern soul night, two weekends in Wales cycling and pisstaking to look forwards to and booked a weekend break at butlins bognor which should be a right laugh.

I don't feel 56 I just feel happy to still be able to do stuff I want to do.

P's I had a hip resurfacing 6 years ago and cycle more than ever now.

43 and feel better and fitter than ever. Just making the most of every day's opportunities. Quit drinking many years ago now and that's made a HUGE difference to my life-more energy, happier & no wasted opportunities to have fun.

I've had other challenges but I work from the perspective that my problems aren't half as bad as some and I dry my eyes and get on with things.

I watched Graham Norton on catch-up last night. Sir Patric Stewart was on and he looks is amazing shape for any age, let alone mid 70s. If I have half his energy at that age I'll be chuffed.

Carpe Diem!

As I've clarified in other threads, I'm no longer yearning for material items

I remember a similar revelation from you a year or 2 go.

Old habits die hard Cynic-al. All things have peaks amd troughs and it'd be easy to see how this is a trough. It isnt. I'm at the bottom of a rise of re-invention, of a new adventure that'll have more integrity and meaning. I dont "what" it is yet but i know its coming. I took a step forward last night by removing the blight of past reminders, information overload and increased my ability to focus on whats clearly in front of me in the present by deleting my facebook account. That may be trivial to some, but it helps me.

Hating your job and expecting to have mortgage payments until you are 62 - no wonder you feel trapped and miserable. Sounds like you have made some bad decision to get to this place, but lots of people are in the same situation, plenty much worse. Glass half empty etc.

Old habits die hard Cynic-al. All things have peaks amd troughs and it'd be easy to see how this is a trough. It isnt. I'm at the bottom of a rise of re-invention, of a new adventure that'll have more integrity and meaning. I dont "what" it is yet but i know its coming. I took a step forward last night by removing the blight of past reminders, information overload and increased my ability to focus on whats clearly in front of me in the present by deleting my facebook account. That may be trivial to some, but it helps me.

Makes you sound incredibly narcissistic and self absorbed :lol:, but good luck, I hope it works out.

Do you know was Narcissm means Angeldust?

[i]extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
[/i]

You are wrong. In my case its my case its a self critical spiral toward anonimity and self satisfaction to drive happiness for me and my family without the willy waving of the socially narcisist world in which we live.

Fair enough and best of luck.

This life business is not always easy.

Yep, I know what it means thanks.

It isnt. Im a hard worker not so much driven to be successful but driven not to fail. I dont change or give up easily, becuase that would be failure.

However, when that behaviour becomes self destructive one needs to break out. As Angeldust says maybe i may some wrong decisons but actually i kept riding the tide that carried me without getting of the boat. I need to do the right thing to give my family a good life without become broken and unable to do so. Sure, other people have worse problems, but this is my demon to shake off while i can.

With that, im done with this thread, im not here posturing for attention, or maybe i am and dont want to be, but either way i have things to do and a life to live today which brings far greater satisfaction than tapping put my subconcious on an internet forum.

if , at the end of your over analysing you actually took some steps to put right what was wrong in your life you would be in a better place . Unfortunately you appear to be more of a thinker than a doer and until you change that you will just keep on going around in circles .

I think if you are over 16 and Facebook is a big thing to you, then some reinvention is definitely required, so good luck with that.

As to the question; 45 and a little bit hungover, 3 kids, work and overtime, always tired, very little free time of my own, no chance of retiring early, and no I don't feel old. I'm pretty happy with my lot really.

Oh shit, you're too old...

Bikebouy sounds like a right laugh. As an alternative to firing squad.

Thanks.

50 this year and I'm now an orphan who will be older and Than the average age of my parents. That said, I'm fitter and faster than I have ever been. Riding 400 km per week means plenty of me time and a job I really enjoy.

Commuting killed me and was aging me. I was driving 1000 km per week and did this for 10 years. We moved.

You need to do something. Change job, ride more, drive less, get a dog... but do something.

58 (60 next year!!!)

I went out running this afternoon and something just clicked that hadn't previously..

http://www.blog.scotroutes.com/2017/03/running-with-deer.html

.. so there's always for for change.

As for the OP, I hope he carries on reading this thread. Along with a few others, I've been guilty of teasing him about his current lifestyle. I hope he takes it all in good grace. I'm sure no one wishes him any ill-will and the repeated piss-taking (from me at least) is really just a way of getting him to reconsider his approach to things. I really do wish him and his family all the best and I hope he can break out of this self-destructive cycle he feels he is in.

Kryton57 - good luck mate. Sorry if I've caused any offence.

im not here posturing for attention, or maybe i am

Well it's pretty obvious that you are, seeing as you started the thread ..... 😀

But, being serious, much of what you post sounds a bit mixed up, but on this thread you have said a lot of sensible stuff. Sometimes airing the thoughts help, so finger crossed ..

Apologies, I not read the whole thread so forgive any repetition

I'm pretty much the same age and sometimes find myself in a similar state of mind:
Work is grinding torture; I seem to live for 5pm Friday and the weekend which passes by in a flash of teenage angst, homework, DIY jobs and, to be fair, usually a ride either locally solo or Swineley with the kids (16 yo twin boys)

I've read that males of around my age typically score low on 'happiness and wellbeing'. Unsurprising really - the treadmill of work, teenage kids and exams, mortgage, loss of youth and so on.

But... I car share with a guy 10 years older (~55). He remembers the same feelings but is now 'out the other side'. Kids now independent, mortgage almost paid, a few quid available

Just life I guess and these really are first world problems. I've a lot to be grateful for; two kids and a wife I adore, nice house, car, a collection of bikes etc

Well from personal experiece 45 to 50 then 50 to 54 have both seen fairly notable declines physically. The big issue has been injury recovery which just takes forever. The fitness rebuild is really slow 😐

OP there are many different ways of living your life, just saying ... one thought is you don't need to be working 17 years to pay off mortgage, downsize when kids go.

My life is a bit weird, I'm only 38 so not feeling old yet. I wasted a lot of my 20's being a partner/ carer to a girl that had mental health issues, and I was kind of trapped in a duty/ obligation thing. But I binned her and never looked back.

Even in the darkest days I don't think I've ever sat and worried about reinventing myself or start a new adventure. I'm not really sure what that toss means. Just look at what at what makes you happy and what doesn't and then do some actual stuff that moves you to happy. Some of it is painful and difficult stuff to sort. But if you spend all your time hand wringing and not doing much, then stuff won't get better. Chin up chap, and crack on. Sounds like you have a lot of stuff you should be grateful for.