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You know who you are...... Could you please get on with mowing the lawn or sorting out the garage instead of browsing on here? 😉
Thank you lovely x
*calls a steward*
EEK! Someones been rumbled!
Mods.... could we please remove this in case any marital precedents are set? 😉
Dude, whoever you are you'd better go!
* requires before/after pics of lawn/garage for judgement purposes *
😀
could be worse its not like hes looking at porn jude!
No!
Now be a good woman and get back to the kitchen where you belong.
😉 (just in case anyone thinks it is a serious comment)
Mr judeyoga gets a choice of doing either? 😯
Id pick 'sorting' the garage.....cue hours of bike fettling to avoid doing the lawn!
He's probably already done that kimbers, and it's not you MSP, he's probably running off now pretending he was doing it anyway 😀
Tis I! Another lovely day chock full of doing bugger all ruined. Damn you the wife! (We could really do with a 'shaky fist' emoticon on here.
And he can't get to the lawnmower without doing the garage!
Would it be wrong to mention jumpers now? 😉
You have internet in the kitchen???? 😀
Bugger off now and get on with it! 😈
🙂clubber - MemberWould it be wrong to mention jumpers now?
No happy fun time for you tonight BM.
No, hopester I'm 'working'
Severe breach of equality laws...you mow the lawn! Just stay out of his garage. 😀
This is the 2013 equivalent of your wife calling the golf club to find out where you are.
Damn that stalky wife - I blame Thatcher.
Ooh, don't get me started 6 years we have lived here - he has never done it! Never!
*goes off to call divorce lawyers for you*
Thatcher is/was your wife 😯
Is, clubber,at least that's what it feels like. And Jude, aren't you supposed to be educating the basket weavers of tomorrow?
Oy! Although this lady is not for turning either.
I am being very important marking assignments.
Thought this was funny and showed it the wife
That was a bloody dosy thing to do
*hangs head in shame*
If it were me I'd have been out doing the mowing by now.
Or tweeting about the indignity of it, at the very least.
Maybe mrs zokes and I can start a revolution 😀
I'm on twitter too...there's no escape 😉
The irony is, if I had a garage and Mrscamo16 wanted me to clean it, I'd much prefer being home, doing that, rather than being here, reading this. BM, get those jobs done! As mentioned, before-after shots are essential. 😉
Genius.
Quick BM start a 'what lawn mower for my unkempt garden' or 'best way to cut grass' thread and that way you can say being here is/was research,
What lawn mower for BM's unkempt lady garden?
Oh... That's not quite right is it?
BM is suspiciously silent. 😀
* suspects that a garage is being tidied *
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Mrs Barnsleymitch and her jumpers.
I was going to do the washing up and make the tea, but I think I shall go for a lie down...
Yes dear..
What if a poor baby robin has fallen from its nest onto the lawn and is shaking with fear waiting to be rescued by its mother; do you really want to be responsible for killing baby robins?
Or a small child may have wandered into your garden and tripped in the long grass; you could mow its face off; I know I wouldn’t want to take that risk.
Nice knowing you bland.....
Eewww!
Do I really want to know about the jumper references?
He won't be tidying the garage, we've been married 12 years....it takes more than this to spur him into action 😉
Plus it's almost certainly full of cat shit.
The jumper references are not bad; during heated religious debates, BM has suggested that of the many things he is thankful for, you and the contents of your jumper rank very highly indeed.
This has had the effect of stopping any arguments about theology while gentlemen's minds turn towards curvy wooliness.
I've probably got him into way more trouble than he deserves, but if he's being a slacker...
Drac - I'll just wait until she's on netmums later and slip into my 'wise owl' costume - she can't resist the talons of love!
Told you he wasn't doing it 🙄
Look love, just think of the feathery majesty that is wise owl. I may even rotate my head 360 degrees and cough up a pellet!
anyone else getting unpleasant flashbacks to dogging tales?and slip into my 'wise owl' costume
😆
silly notherners
D0NK - Member
anyone else getting unpleasant flashbacks to dogging tales?
😡 Yes
judeyoga - I'd send mine round, however he doesn't set foot in the garden either 😉
BTW husband if you're reading this, the compost heaps need turning over and weeing into.
So I take it the chap with the poor wife signal has got things sorted then?
Women - know your place! And Phil, everybody knows that wise owl is just for private lovin' - for dogging, I favour the 'threadbare but still cheeky' monkey costume X
[i]the compost heaps need turning over and weeing into[/i]
I take it this isn't a euphamism.
It's good for breaking down organic matter. As our heeps are raised up, I'm certainly not going to do it, neighbours would think I'm barmy.
It's good for breaking down organic matter. As our heeps are raised up, I'm certainly not going to do it, neighbours would think I'm barmy.
Fair enough, but if I know guys your fella only does it so he doesn't have to go upstairs for a wee. 😉
Hee hee, sort of true, however the loo is nearer than the compost heaps.Fair enough, but if I know guys your fella only does it so he doesn't have to go upstairs for a wee.
@ judeyoga..photos of your garden please.
I'm sure once my darling husband has finished tending to it he will send you a picture
😀
The lawn needs cutting? I take it there are new bike pics to be taken?
Woo, and indeed, hoo!
...probably a step too far to ask for a picture of your jumper?
Yes, Ok, I'll get my coat...
😀
He's not had his mower out for a while you say...
What a thread! Excellent. 😀
One day ill find my missus has a secret STW login I don't know about, and I'll be in a world of trouble!
We all have one dantsw13 😈
Ha, you weak and feeble excuses for men, About time you all grew a pair and ....what?
Yes, coming dear, on my way now, sorry, just logging off now!! 😳
barnsleymitch - Member
Twit, and indeed, twoo!
FTFY
Well, although I doubt anybody wants one, here's an update. I was forced into trimming judes undergrowth, and am now preparing to either make a brew, or swoop mercilessly on to a vole. YOU DECIDE!
I was forced into trimming judes undergrowth
Ahhh, nothing like some quality topiary.
Leave the vole for the owl.
I find that after a hard session trimming the undergrowth, a good brew does help the recovery....
Bunnyhop - I can just hear paddy mcguiness saying that!
It's the voices in your head .... Time for your medication dear
This has to be one of the best threads for ages, although I have to say the original title was ambiguous and probably lead to more than one male on here looking over his shoulder...
i do hope in return for the vigorous trimming you've knitted your husband a new mankini....
for the attention of all people who have misunderstood:
GARAGES AND SHEDS ARE NOT MEANT TO BY TIDY!
IF THEY WERE THEY WOULD NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE MEANT TO BE.
that is all.
My wife tidied my garage three weeks ago, I still feel invaded.
"My wife tidied my garage three weeks ago"
i think its important you seen professional help, just because we're men doesn't mean we should suffer domestic abuse in silence
@philconsequence, a new mankini made of the trimmings from my undergrowth is being woven as we speak 🙂
Hope there were no rose bushes involved...
And there were trimmings aplenty - it was like a beartrappers hat I tell ye!
actual lol, well, more like a yelp of mirth
Brilliant
mitch - does she know about those photos you sent round ?