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So,
Been texting and snap chatting a girl for a few months now and we "seem"' to be getting along quite well. Sent her a couple of inexpensive gifts (flowers when she was feeling down etc) but have yet to meet for a date due to her working weekends and my not, and the small matter of 275 miles distance.
The potentially awful plan: She works in John Lewis assisting customers. I arrive unexpected, ask her shopping advise on something I know she wants and buy it for her then leave..... Means we get to meet, only for a short while in case she thinks I'm nuts and hopefully looks low key romantic.
Thoughts?! Ace romantic gesture or removed from store by security?!
*Pulls up chair. Opens bar.*
well, just ran that past the wife, she's not convinced! I'm guessing she won't know you're coming? High risk 275 mile journey!!
This all seems so strange to me.
Just can't get my head around the idea of more or less going out before you've even met.
I must be getting old.
DO IT YOU MAD FOOL! *
* If you'd like to look a bit stalkery.
my assessment,
she doesnt work in john lewis, doesnt look like her profile picture, doesnt live where shes told you and is probably called something else.
run for the ****in hills man, go find a real person to hang out with.
Sorry, forgot to say go for it.
With a bit of luck she'll be flattered and not think you're at all stalkerish?
Sounds kinda stalkerish to me, but i'm not a romantic so ignore my advice.
Martymac +1!!!! Think I'm old too...
Move on, honestly.
[quote=FFJA ]I arrive unexpected, ask her shopping advise on something I know she wants and buy it for her then leave..... Means we get to meet, only for a short while in case she thinks I'm nuts
You're quite safe there - she'll definitely think you're nuts!
If you're serious about it, just sort out your calendar and arrange a date - if you can drive to meet her during her working day, then you cana manage an evening. Something low key rather than full on if you're worried about that.
Ha yes it possibly does look a touch stalkery! Aparently folk in that there London aren't right romantic tho and the other stuff seems to have gone down very well! Hmm....
*Opens biscuits myself and puts kettle on*
A few months!!! 275 miles!!! Turn up at work!! At the very least you will escorted off the premises. Yer ontae plums.
I was about to offer an alternative view along the lines of "what have you got to lose?", ran it past my wife for her opinion which was "it's slightly stalkerish "
Perhaps if I wore a disguise?.....
Fake nose and glasses?
Yep, definitely an awful plan. Creepy etc.
Do something open and honest and that she knows about in advance... at least until you've met her once or twice!
Aye that's the sort of thing!
A 550 mile round trip to 'surprise' someone you've never met???
Definitely a bit freaky.
Has she bought you any inexpensive gifts?
No more gifts, no surprise visit. Surely the next step is meeting up half way in a pleasant place.
I thought it was a bit stalkery also. And speaking from experience, are you absolutely sure that you want to enter into a long-distance relationship? Are either of you likely to want to move 275 miles away?
Other women are available (if you're lucky).
beefheart - Member
A 550 mile round trip to 'surprise' someone you've never met???
At her place of work, too.
Episode highlight: Milligan says "OK then.".
If she works weekends why not go down to see her after work?
Or Take a days holiday and go for a proper date through the week,
I'm sure if she was interested there must be a way of you both meeting up.
Hmm the consensus seems to be its perhaps not my best thought out idea! I have asked previously if something like that would embarrass her, which would be awful, and she reckons not.
Perhaps one for another day. Faint heart never won fair maiden and all that jazz!!
Make the effort to come down when you're off and take her out for the evening.
Extremely creepy and cringey IMO.
Good on you for being such a thoughtful fella.
That doesn't mean you should do it though 🙂
What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!
the consensus seems to be its perhaps not my best thought out idea!
The problem really is that it's a gamble. She might be swept off her feet, she might well think "WTAF?!" Certainly if I was on the receiving end I'd be thinking "woah, that's a bit sudden!" It puts her on the spot, implies that you've an expectation that she's obliged to reciprocate.
[quote=FFJA ]What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!What about if you arrange to meet her and take the day off? Why does it have to be such a surprise for her?
Do you already have a van and duct tape?
she doesnt work in john lewis, doesnt look like her profile picture, doesnt live where shes told you and is probably called something else.
FRANK?
What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!
That's a considerably better idea, gives her an 'out.'
Reckon it's better still to be honest though.
You need to write her a song and perform it in the shop.
What about if I write her a song and play it on a one man bad set up while marching up and down Oxford street?
You may be lucky.
Someone I know* proposed on the ground floor of Peter Jones. Successfully.
*ahem.
Cougar - Agree on the problem being that it makes implications and puts her on the spot. I'm certainly keen to avoid that. Will just have to be patient I guess 🙁
FFJA - Dull, harsh answer, learnt from bitter experience in the past.
Be open and honest and ask to meet up, you do the travelling, at a time convenient to her. I reckon excuses not to meet will keep coming, yet all the time you getting more deeply emotionally attached to this person.
my money is on the fact she's loving your attention, it makes her feel good, but she really doesn't understand what it's doing to you. She probably has no intention of meeting you
Good luck and prove me wrong!
Bad idea...BAD IDEA!
Mental; mental; mental. But also a fairly sweet idea. It won't go down well though - unless she's one of those ditsy, gormless types off Take me Out.
FunkyDunc - You're probably right mate 🙁
So far the plan sounds only slightly less stalkerish than this:
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That sign they had on the BT Tower for Bowie.....
What about if you arrange to meet her and take the day off? Why does it have to be such a surprise for her?
Because he's an impetuous, romantic fool that wants to make some lass happy with big, spontaneous gestures. It's got risks but it's an admirable quality and ultimately, if she's the one for you, she'll get it - that said, your plan as described may need [i]some[/i] refinement 🙂
(Oh, and stop buying her stuff!)
I do try to understand the rise of these dating apps - I'm sure there are benefits but they just seem to add another layer of problems to the while dating thing.
My eldest is happily settled and thankfully hasn't had the need for them however my 22 year old son seems to use then quite a bit.
There is one girl that he's had this weird sort of 'relationship' with over a similar distance (he's up north and she's in London although has family near us). However on the couple of occasions they could have met she's not gone through with it.
They call, text, snap chat, face time - but not meet - I'm confused?! I mean what is that all about.
He still seems drawn to her but her behaviour just seems really odd.
He didn't see the funny side when I said there are plenty more Tinderella's out there . . . .
Could be the same one!
Well I thought it was a nice idea
the next call you get will be from her uncle...
I'll bring the Chloroform, you'll need it when she hits you over the head with a John Lewis frying pan...!
you need to write a song and perform it in the shop
nothing is real until you meet.
I hope you manage to get assisted by her, and not another shopping assistant. A 6 foot tall, with a beer belly, called Frank.....
PS, Has she sent you pics of her boobies on snapchat yet?? 😉
I was just about call Houns to the thread- this thread has Gym Girl written all over it!
The best thing to do is turn up wearing a leotard with her face printed on the front and invite her out for a rohypoccino.
John Lewis.
Never knowingly under(blind)fold.
Ha, well it was an idea! Doubtless the reality is it would go down badly, cost a fortune and she doesn't actually want to meet me anyway. Oh well.
Someone I know* proposed on the ground floor of Peter Jones. Successfully
I know Peter Jones is tall, but even so...!
I'm sure it should be a nice idea and that is how proper relationships start - but the cynic in me thinks there are some people out there who only want a specific bit of a normal relationship.
They just want the attention and the dialogue but without any of the commitment/risk/physical side . . . . They've turned to apps . . . Whilst the rest of us have STW 😆
Yeah, but the 'someone you know' was in an actual relationship with the recipient already, weren't they?CaptainFlashheart - Member
You may be lucky.Someone I know* proposed on the ground floor of Peter Jones. Successfully.
*ahem.
Weren't they? 😯
😉
Is your name Mark Corrigan?
😆
Will they be on an episode of catfish soon
Doubt it, we didn't "meet" through a dating site
I say do it.
There's a small chance you'll make a girl really happy, walk off into the sunset (after exiting through homewares).
The much more likely scenario is you'll make a large number of middle-aged mountain biking engineers (mostly with doctorates) happy by relating the story on this here thread.
It's win-win.
For a great contingent of STW, merely talking to the opposite sex is "a bit stalkerish". In fact, exiting their bedrooms where the curtains have been drawn all week while they've been coding feverishly and encountering another human is a bit stalkerish. So, y'know, faint heart never...and the rest.
Don't do it, you should never mess with someones work place, she won't be able to relax, especially when ambushed.
Why not hide in the shadows outside her place of work, and then follow her home, wearing a mask for added excitement?
You could then burst in through her front door, shouting, "SURPRISE!!!".
Imagine the look on her little face.
Nah I'm not much of a walker I'll just hide in the bushes and wait until she gets home. Dressed as a hedgehog so the neighbours don't spoil the suprise.
What you don't realise is that she is driving to your work tomorrow,with her own hedgehog suit
I'll take the Welliphant costume from work and she can admire the length of my trunk!!
How many months has this been going on? I'm just surprised that it could go on for more than a couple of weeks before one of you suggested it would be nice to meet in person.
This could be a film. Most likely on crime watch though.
Get who ever is running the background music in the shop to shove some Jennifer Warner and Joe Cocker on, put on a white naval avaitor outfit and go for it....
Ex colleague of mine had a similar long distance thing going on with a girl 400 miles away. 6 months backwards and forwards on text apparently? Bought her gifts etc but had never met. He even started calling her his girlfriend one day whilst out for lunchtime drinks.
We very delicately explained to him, in the nicest (and possibly quite old fashioned way), that she couldn't possibly be his girlfriend, because he hadn't f****d her yet 😉
Seriously though dude, man up, if you're chasing the right person then dating should be simple, ask her out on a date, is she can make it then great, go and see her. If she can't make it but offers you an alternative date then great, shows she's keen so reschedule. If she gets back to you and declines more than a couple of times for some reason (too busy, other stuff on etc) but doesn't offer an alternative date then she's either not serious or she's playing you (and probably loads of other schmucks) for attention so sack her off an move on.
Oh and please don't ever buy a girl a gift until you've at least met her a few times. Girls can smell desperation a mile off and sending gifts at this stage just looks far to 'needy'.
Sorry mate but I'm experienced at this stuff, just departing my wisdom. Choose to do with it what you will. Good luck 😉
Yup. It does indeed seem ridiculous. Never mind.
You are in the friend zone (about 275 miles into it!). Do not drop in without talking to her - creepy.
Note - I have done this and brought pizza and beer. I think we can all agree it was a little stalkerish. (I broke out of the friend zone and we have now been married 21 years - but not sure the pizza and beer helped)
If you really like her talk to her and arange to meet up!
It's very easy to build up romantic notions and scenarios in your mind if you're romantically inclined, don't have a real idea of a person based on real interaction and have been on your own for a while perhaps.
Distance can make this more so I think.
Meet her.
This could be a film.
It is [url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338427/ ]Shopgirl[/url], with Steve Martin and Claire Danes.
Ol' Steve rolls into the shop and gets her to help with buying a pair of sex-gloves. Which he then posts to her, LIKE A STALKER.
🙂
Sorry mate but I'm experienced at this stuff, just departing my wisdom
Says the guy who thinks you can't call her a girlfriend until you've f***ed her.
Call me old-fashioned but what happened to holding hands?
Sounds like a totally shite plan. You'll put the her in a really difficult spot turning up unannounced at work making sex faces. That's not acceptable, you'll look like a freak and potentially get her in trouble with her employer.
You may not want to hear this, but if it was going to go anywhere you would have met by now.
Get yourself a fleshlight and make yourself cross eyed instead.
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