First world problem...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

First world problems - birthday present for the man who has everything

51 Posts
42 Users
18 Reactions
153 Views
 IHN
Posts: 19694
Full Member
Topic starter
 

That man being, er, me. And when I say 'everything' I don't mean I'm dripping in yachts, sports cars and luxury ski chalets, I just mean that I'm comfortably off, don't really need anything and, anyway, I'm not really that interested in 'stuff'.

However, it's my birthday at the end of next month and MrsIHN has asked if there's anything I'd like and I'm a bit stumped, cos, well, see above.

So, I thought I'd tap into the intellectual might of the forum to come up with some ideas.

Let's say a budget of up to £100. Off you go...


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:50 pm
Posts: 10474
Free Member
 

Coke.
Decent hooker for 15 minutes


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:54 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Coaching session or a class of some sort would be my first choice I guess


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:55 pm
dhague reacted
Posts: 2088
Full Member
 

How shit are your riding skills? A coaching session?

Some kind of experience? Gig? Comedy club? Spa day? Go-karting? Etc.

Donation to keep STW going?

My parents, being right good Christians, when it comes to their birthdays, always make us buy a goat, or a tent, or a well, or something, via Christian Aid or Tear Fund, for people less well-off in less well-off countries.

Or, find a local cycling group/club that sponsors up and coming youngsters, and donate to them?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:55 pm
Posts: 10474
Free Member
 

Really: Just an epic evening out with her, as that is what is important.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:56 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Decent hooker for 15 minutes

It's not football but have you seen how much rugby players are paid these days? You'd not get 15 minutes on that budget


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:56 pm
peterno51 and reeksy reacted
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Tickets to a comedy show?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:56 pm
Posts: 22922
Full Member
 

the man who has everything

Broad spectrum as antibiotics


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:57 pm
peterno51, stwhannah, edd and 1 people reacted
Posts: 887
Full Member
 

Monthly subscription to Cocoa Runners - https://cocoarunners.com/subscribe/

https://cdn.cocoarunners.com/uploads/2020/05/Monthly-Subscription-1600-x-1068-Homepage-Block.jp g" alt="Cocoa Runners" />


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:59 pm
Posts: 4439
Full Member
 

massage


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 4:59 pm
Posts: 4954
Free Member
 

Just go out with your wife / family whatever. Have an ice-cream. Go large on the fries. Have a starter and desert.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:00 pm
kelvin reacted
Posts: 13617
Full Member
 

Decent hooker for 15 minutes

15 minutes? That long!?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:01 pm
Posts: 3530
Free Member
 

Donation to charity?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:02 pm
Posts: 887
Full Member
 

In the donation vein as mentioned above:

Toilet Twinning

+ you get a nice little certificate with a picture of your twinned toilet to put by your own


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:03 pm
Posts: 11402
Free Member
 

art, commission something from binners


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:06 pm
Posts: 6219
Full Member
 

Forge session. Make a thing out of hot metal.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:07 pm
Posts: 8771
Full Member
 

Slightly over budget, but I think you'll love this dead doll


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:25 pm
Posts: 409
Free Member
 

Decent hooker for 15 minutes

Why would you want to pay for 10 minutes of chat?!?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:28 pm
Posts: 7857
Full Member
 

Had this conversation with Mrs Noise before my recent birthday. Usually I do a list but genuinely this time couldn't think of anything I actually wanted or needed.

She wouldn't entertain the idea of not getting me anything so I've ended up with a day hunting with Harris Hawks and doing various other falconry bits. Which is actually pretty cool.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:34 pm
Posts: 2880
Full Member
 

How about a bottle of nice whisky?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:35 pm
Posts: 645
Full Member
 

Coffee grinder


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:37 pm
kelvin reacted
 IHN
Posts: 19694
Full Member
Topic starter
 

Cheers all, keep 'em coming.

Skills course - my skills are undoubtedly crap, but not too the extent that I care enough to pay someone to make me a bit less crap

Art - yeah, thinking about that (but, although I love the baldy crayon jockey dearly, Binbins' stuff doesn't really do it for me)

Charity - without wishing to sound like a dick, we give quite a lot already

Hooker - I can see the appeal for MrsIHN to pay someone else for me to disappoint sexually for once

Whisky - I think I'll probably get a bottle anyway

Subscription - hmm, interesting, although chocolate is wasted on me, I'll shovel a bar of Dairy Milk in my gob and be happy


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:46 pm
Posts: 17915
Full Member
 

Tracksaw


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 5:46 pm
Posts: 3985
Free Member
 

A powerful torch - Fenix PD36R

Bang on budget.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:02 pm
 IHN
Posts: 19694
Full Member
Topic starter
 

I mean, I appreciate the input, but I need a torch about as much as I need a dead doll.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:05 pm
 DrP
Posts: 12041
Full Member
 

I think this is the perfect reason to get one of those instant tubeless repair kits...
The aluminium ano ones with the tubeless plugs with brass spikes... Erm.... Dynaplug... That's it..

I don't mind spending money on myself, but couldn't face spending that on a small bit of kit..
But... Perfect present from someone else.

And, they ARE ruddy useful!

Get that, a top up plug kit, and 8 minutes with a hooker

DrP


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:11 pm
Posts: 2350
Full Member
 

A session with Jedi


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:12 pm
towpathman reacted
Posts: 2701
Full Member
 

If there’s nothing you need, make a useful contribution to society, STW?!!


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:24 pm
Posts: 2671
Full Member
 

https://www.thepackhorsehayfield.uk

Go for a meal here. (we haven't been yet but by all accounts its cracking)

I am in the same boat as you for this year.. Don't want or need anything however as it's the "big" birthday I'm being asked what, where etc. Frankly a nice meal with good company will do.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:32 pm
kelvin reacted
Posts: 10761
Full Member
 

When people have absolutely insisted they get me a present I've gone for stuff like chains, chainrings, bottom brackets, brake pads or whatever will come in useful. Or tools - bearing presses, new hex key set, headset press - things you get by without but having the right tool can just make it easier.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:41 pm
pisco reacted
 IHN
Posts: 19694
Full Member
Topic starter
 

Forge session. Make a thing out of hot metal.

I think we may have a winner...


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:47 pm
Ambrose reacted
Posts: 8771
Full Member
 

Sponsor an endangered species - the bicycle commuter. You'll get two GPX files of my daily commutes (typically 5 days a week but not guaranteed) for 3 month's along with the occasional photo and short text when inspiration strikes.

Today:

I overtook a man slowly driving a mini digger up the dirt track at the back. I surprised his colleague who was walking further up the track. Nearer to work the road was almost blocked by a lorry delivering a not very large garden shed by crane.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:47 pm
Posts: 14410
Free Member
 

Get a train to Manchester from Disley and have a very nice boozy lunch somewhere

Try Habas or Canto


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 6:54 pm
Posts: 17779
Full Member
 

We gave up on birthday presents (and Christmas) years ago. If we want something we buy it.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 7:02 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Forge session. Make a thing out of hot metal.

I think we may have a winner…

Where are you based? I know a few decent options in wiltshire.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 7:15 pm
Ambrose reacted
Posts: 9093
Full Member
 

Winter cycling boots contribution. Best invention after the bike wheel


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 7:15 pm
 Drac
Posts: 50352
 

Kite or porcelain poppy.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 7:19 pm
Posts: 5560
Full Member
 

Ahh gotta be a xiaomi portable car tyre inflator (and you should have change over for a blowy and a dab of molly.)


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 7:34 pm
Posts: 27603
Full Member
 

Decent hooker for 15 minutes

15 Hookers x 1 minute?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 8:04 pm
Posts: 5055
Free Member
 

Ask her to take you out for the day.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 8:09 pm
Posts: 751
Full Member
 

Boring but maybe consider a donation to your local food bank? It'll give you a lovely warm feeling delivering £100 worth of food there and they will be overjoyed with it.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 8:16 pm
Posts: 2495
Free Member
Posts: 6219
Full Member
 

I'm lined up for a forge session with a friend here in South Wales. Ystradgynlais to be exact. He's very, very good indeed. The Battle on the Beach trophies are some of his work.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 9:16 pm
Posts: 9491
Full Member
 

A nice fully lined and interlined Roman blind. Keeping wind, chills and light out, keeping heat and cosy ambience in. :O)

Or a lunch out with friends at the 'Old Hall' Chinley.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 9:34 pm
Posts: 14146
Free Member
 

Not a surprise coming from me, but a Leatherman.

You might think you don't want or need one, but the amount of times you'll use it when you have it on you will surprise you


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 10:05 pm
Posts: 218
Free Member
 

Sheepskin onesie ?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 10:13 pm
Posts: 13240
Free Member
 

I can't believe that Drac forgot to put the word 'Power' in front of Kite --> #standards 😉


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 10:15 pm
Posts: 2671
Full Member
 

Surely for a ton he could get a marmot skin  onesie and a 4 pack of fosters..?


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 10:17 pm
Posts: 20561
Free Member
 

A pizza oven (given its a bit more than your budget) but I got one last year and it has been great - a fantastic way of entertaining and making food together.


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 11:10 pm
Posts: 677
Full Member
 

johndough

A pizza oven (given its a bit more than your budget) but I got one last year and it has been great – a fantastic way of entertaining and making food together.

Name checks out


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 11:23 pm
Posts: 56564
Full Member
 


 
Posted : 22/02/2023 11:48 pm
Posts: 7086
Full Member
 

I did my 10th Plasma donation the other day and because they're desperate for donations they've started rewarding us. I got a big bar of chocolate, a pair of blood drop socks, a certificate, and a little blood drop badge.

It was quite embarrassing as I pointed out that was more than I get from Mrs R for birthday and christmas combined!

Have a look at Kiva. It (ie You) provides micro loans to people all over the world. When the money gets paid back, you get to 'reinvest' it again with another person/business.


 
Posted : 23/02/2023 12:08 am
Bunnyhop reacted

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!