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<p style="text-align: left;">We've taken our two kids, who are 7 and 10, out of school this week for our first family holiday abroad. Perhaps we've got our comeuppance for this sin as it's not gone too smoothly. We've also travelled with my sister and her two kids.</p>
Firstly, our daughter was becoming more and more worked up about flying leading up to the holiday, culminating in a full blown panic attack , grabbing the stairs boarding the plane and wouldn't let go. Thankfully a really amazing flight attendant saved the day and she was allowed to meet the pilot. What ever it was that he said to her seemed to work and she was fine from then on. She even got pictures with them afterwards and is actually looking forward to the flight home.
<p style="text-align: left;">However, the first evening of our holiday my son pukes all over himself in bed. My wife, who has a pretty bad sickness phobia, goes into full lockdown mode, along with my daughter. My son took a couple of days of light food, keeping out of the sun and pool and seemed to recover well. My wife was still on high alert with her OCD kicking in with hand washing etc. Then last night, 2 days later, my son wakes up in his sleep and projectiles all over his bed, the wall and anything near by. He's rarely sick, its just bad timing I guess. Could be a bug, or something he ate, or the heat. He slept on the toilet floor all night and seems better this morning. We've all been a bit dodgy the whole time here tho.</p>
This is supposed to be a relaxing time but it's been hard work. My son is really upset about being kept away from the fun stuff and my wife is obviously going through her own thing right now. My daughter now has this phobia too. This holiday was along time in the making, costing a small fortune and I think we should have just stuck to our usual Devon for a week in the summer holidays.
Without wishing to be rude, it sounds like you are quite an anxious family.
If its your first time abroad it is taking you all way out of your comfort zone, and will make already anxious people even more anxious.
Very easy to look at he negatives of the experience, but try and pick out the positives, write them down and start planning the next trip.
Also explore what went wrong and try and understand how you could improve that as a family so it doesnt happen next time. If you just brush it under the carpet so to speak things just get compounded
Are you sure your son wasnt making himself sick as it then got him attention / and caused a reaction from his Mum?
You seemed to be unlucky.
Maybe stick to what you know and Devon is as good as anywhere in the world for your children's age group.
Just bad luck, don't let it put you off. I'm sure you could get endless holiday horror stories off here, and it always feels worse when you're in a foreign country.
Make sure you're the ocean of calm among all this and gradually get things back on track.
Similar happened to us on our first overseas holiday, youngest projectile vomited, and was ill for several days. It's comes with the territory I'm afraid, but it's how you deal with it that counts. My wife and I took shifts looking after him with the other spending time with the eldest at the pool, playing etc, giving one another a bit of time to enjoy the holiday.
We've had many overseas summer holidays since with no drama, sometimes you just get unlucky.
To be honest it's not a holiday unless a child vomits.
Got to go with the flow when travelling I am afraid, but it sounds like that is difficult for your wife who is projecting her issues onto your daughter from what you say. Does your wife have some techniques to deal with her issues? Has she ever had any help? Might be worth it if she can give it ago
Sometimes stuff doesn't go well. I got ear ache, tooth ache and vomiting on my recent holiday - ill for about 4 days out of 7, hey ho.
At least you didnt take them when they were little. I'd spend seven days on the verge of apoplepsy with the carrying of the mountains of of attendant shite, feeds, changes, keeping them out of the sun, not letting them drown in the pool, gettinf their ears to pop on the plane, feeding again, changing again, puking, pooing, crying, falling over, losing everything they touched, all while having to hump round enough gear to launch a polar expidition. Still, happy memories!
within the first 2 days of our last holiday, we'd discovered our accomodation for the next week had no heating or hot water, our son (6) had cracked his head open on a piece of furniture, nearly needing stitches, I'd got the car stuck in a ford with no mobile reception for 3 hours, and the other son (4) had sh@ himself. I'd take a little food poisoning over that 😀
Holiday to remember at least you are making memories! Gives you something to talk about, no matter how hard it is at you'll be "remember the time..."
Holidays are never easy as a family. From the sickness you have, to arguing kids and adults, to the vagaries and complexity of travel, to dodgy weather, closed attractions, cultural differences and more. It is family life with added stress and complications. Don't worry - the kids will remember it fondly, and it is type 2 fun for your wife and you.
My sunny images often belie the argument or stress not seen...
This lovely pic - 10 mins before a blazing row as the trail was overgrown with huge thorns and we got lost - there was blood on our legs and threats of blood in the air 😉
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52216042011_884569657a_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52216042011_884569657a_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2ny9S7p ]Spain - Basque and Picos 2022[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/matt_outandabout/ ]Matt[/url], on Flickr
Family walk to Bosta beach ended up rather disastrously.
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51330080423_14c344aab1_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51330080423_14c344aab1_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2mcS5AB ]Holidays '21 - Harris, Lewis, Torridon[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/matt_outandabout/ ]Matt[/url], on Flickr
This was after we waited 3 hours to get into a chairlift up up the high mountains before abandoning and doing something else for the day:
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/835/29654223178_90284f81cb_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/835/29654223178_90284f81cb_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/MbrDpY ]Gubalowka[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/matt_outandabout/ ]Matt[/url], on Flickr
Two of the kids were arguing like cats and dogs all day on this ride.
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/305/32120868185_3e9bf5a38a_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/305/32120868185_3e9bf5a38a_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/QWpR3a ]Aviemore ride[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/matt_outandabout/ ]Matt[/url], on Flickr
All sympathies to you. As a fellow sickness phobic, I really feel for your wife (and daughter). I think it might be worth considering some therapy soon after you get home to try and reprogram the traumatic feelings about it into 'we were just unlucky' ones. It's a bit too easy for a phobia's tendrils to sneak into these situations and then when you need or want to travel next time you suddenly find yourself faced with discovering it's become a trigger event.
As others have said, try and focus on the good stuff that's come of your trip and make the most of what you can. In stressful situations, this countdown technique can be quite effective - grounds you and occupies a fair amount of brain space, leaving a bit less room for freaking out: https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/5-4-3-2-1-countdown-to-make-anxiety-blast-off#:~:text=Sit%20quietly.&text=5%20things%20you%20can%20see,%2Dcut%20grass%2C%20coffee%2C%20soap
My name is thelittlesthobo and i do not enjoy foreign holidays
There, i have said it. Its out of the bag and i can breathe. Some people, families etc just dont know how to enjoy a foreign holiday. Who cares? Its not for everyone. Me personally, i end up stuck in a hotel room trying to cool down reading my ipad. I may as well be more comfortable at home.
I am being a little short with the truth. I have had some amazing foreign holidays, but they tend to be based around an activity or, for example a short city break to Madrid just with my wife. Whole family, they tend to be stressful nightmares for me.
Worst one was going to a family wedding in St Lucia with a 2yr old boy and a 6mth old baby. I would happily have set fire to the £5000 it cost at the time rather than be involved in that nightmare.
Not uncommon at all to get a bit of sickness and/or the trots, especially if your not accustomed to the climate /cuisine.
I go to Spain probably twice a year and almost always have a bout of the trots the day after arriving that clears up after 24hrs. It's just how it goes.
Very easy to over do it in the sun too resulting in a cheeky bit of projectile vomiting followed by a day in bed... Stay in the shade for a few hours when the sun is strongest and have a nice lunch or something.
The Spanish have a siesta for good reason!
It's just me and the wife going on holiday this year. It's been 20+ years since it's just been us two! We've had the odd night away but not a full week.
What could possibly go wrong!? 😬😬🤣🤣
To be honest it’s not a holiday unless a child vomits.
First trip abroad with our first child... the drive back to the ferry involved regular stops to dry and remove vomit from everything... the child seat, all the main seats, my other half, the child. We smelt great.
Both ours are big people now. Last holiday with all of us it was me that lost a day to vomiting and other stuff...
Shit happens.
Dunno about abroad ...
I got blackmailed into accompanying my kid and his mother to Cornwall last year.
I wasn't allowed to take my own transport but I managed to avoid driving to get there.. at least I had a bed to sleep in last year unlike the previous where I was expected to sleep on the kitchen floor.
I'd booked surf lessons for day 1 .. his mother insisted being an hour early and decided which car park and also that I should drive. The car park was obviously going to be full but no point arguing.
After 30 mins of being told how to drive, asked why I was going this way or that, why did I let this car out and not that or how I was in the wrong gear we arrived at the full car park. It was of course my fault it was full... I avoided the temptation to point out and instead went to the backup car park I'd planned
Some argument I stayed out of from the car park to the surf school (about why Switzerland has CH) then we went for a coffee.
Kiddo wanted a proper cornish pasty so I got him one but his mother decided she wanted 1/2 .. she started biting into it and he asked politely if she could just break it as he wanted to eat it in the traditional way... she threw the rest of the pasty at him and stormed off.... 10 minutes before I get a text to collect his towel from the car park..
.. anyway it went downhill from there.
It’s just me and the wife going on holiday this year. It’s been 20+ years since it’s just been us two! We’ve had the odd night away but not a full week.
What could possibly go wrong!? 😬😬🤣🤣
Mrs_OAB and I are the same.
So she invited her parents along to ensure we are not alone. 😂
Spain family holiday, lots of sea and pool fun planned. First day one child slips and splits his chin open, local hospital, trainee nurse lost of fun. No water based fun allowed for rest of the week.......we've had quite a few hospital trips on holiday since then, you just got to roll with it. Or go on holiday without the kids.....
Not me, but in the group I was travelling with on the first morning of a ski trip. We set off to walk to the ski school for our first lesson and my friend slipped on some ice right outside the chalet (literally just outside of the gate) and broke her leg.
I remember taking my Type 1 diabetic daughter on plane for first time, security at airport were horrific, they would not allow her glucose drinks through on top of normal liquid allowance despite letters from doctor etc, so wife and i had to throw away her perfume and other items to get them on.
Daughter then had a melt down when plane was about to take off, causing a hypo, and we couldn't get at bag in overhead locker to get anything to treat her until 20 mins into flight, so she felt ill.
She then decided she didn't like any of the spanish food at all, even when it was basically a ham roll!
Weirdly, now she loves flying, learning 2 languages and nagging us to go abroad again every year!
sunny images often belie the argument or stress
Hahaha those forced smiles of "we must have a photo we're on holiday!"
We've had the same - kids vomiting after swallowing mouthfuls of dirty lake water in France, eldest daughter smacking herself in the mouth with a canoe paddle and splitting her lip whilst we were miles from help/basecamp.
My daughters are very active in Scouting which has really improved their ability to cope with challenging situations - they're going on an adventure camp to the Ardeche next summer which should be really good for them.
Pre-kids i was also involved in an airlift rescue from the snowy mountains in Australia after 1 of our 4x4 expedition party fell down a ravine, and also spend an afternoon in a rural Moroccan hospital after my mate degloved one of his fingers by getting his wedding ring caught on a bolt on his Landrover roof rack.
Me, and a couple of other members of our party getting violent food poisoning/illness from eating dodgy meat/drinking dirty water in Fez.
I really sympathise with you if your family is a little anxious, etc but i think its worth working on, as travel (rather than package holidays) can be really rewarding as a family.
My kids view loading up the car and driving across Europe as a normal experience now as we've done it a few times - and stuff going a little sideways makes for better stories than days sitting round a pool in a resort.
Worth remembering that Adventure without risk is Disneyland..
To be honest it’s not a holiday unless a child vomits.
This is so true. And when they become teenagers, it starts all over again but for a different reason.
Hahaha those forced smiles of “we must have a photo we’re on holiday!”
TBH I just reckon they are stressful, but you’ve got to have the pics to show your having the time of your life on yer social Meds 🙂
I drove to Beni last week, the stress was getting a pool side lounger in the sun, weirdly the oldies were queuing from 8.00 waiting forthe door to open at 8,30, I’d arrived at 7 for an early coffee before a walk (can’t call it a jog)around the park and had found no brekkie till 8.
TBH I just reckon they are stressful, but you’ve got to have the pics to show your having the time of your life on yer social Meds
I have some more 'realistic' pics, but am banned from ever putting them online 😉
Thank you, for all the replies. It's really helped me to find a bit of perspective and realise it's all part of the journey.
To answer a couple of questions, I don't think it was attention seeking from my son. He's never been like that and was actually asleep the second time he puked. He's been having a lovely time otherwise.
Perhaps we are an anxious family. It's normal to be anxious doing something for the first time. Previously me and my wife would have only ourselves to worry about. It's different when there's kids to look after.
I think my wife will really need some therapy for this sickness phobia tho, and most likely my daughter too.
It’s different when there’s kids to look after.
This is true.
My daughter threw up in three different countries within 8 hours on our skiing holiday this year.
Firstly in to a bin next the the aircraft gate in Gatwick, then in a French service station then, finally, on the coach as we crossed into Andorra. I was quite proud of her, I bet not many people have done that.
I would say it get easier as they get older but my daughter is 17.....
To be honest it’s not a holiday unless a child vomits.
This.
And just think in a couple of weeks after your return you should be getting a nice fine for taking the kids out of school.
No such thing as a holiday with children. You are still responsible for keeping them alive and entertained, just in an unfamiliar and more expensive location.
We've had a few 'disasters' on holiday. Went to Spain one Christmas with the in-laws and toddler son and baby daughter. There two weeks. During the final week, son presents with Chicken Pox. All the family fly home on time (daughter came out with pox once home - phew) so I was stuck, in a now empty resort for another week with a toddler to entertain. Fortunately hotel stay was extended and food etc, but my god was it boring. I did walk some miles with the pram though.
Then we got stuck in Turkey for an extra 7-10 days with the Icelandic Volcano issue. Would have been ace if I hadn't decided to get the kids water guns on the day we found we'd have another week, then got into a water fight, chased the kids and went flying on the wet floor, and broke a few ribs. That hurt. Didn't seek any medical attention as that may have delayed us further. Slept sitting up on the settee for the rest of the holiday.
Holidays are never easy as a family. From the sickness you have, to arguing kids and adults, to the vagaries and complexity of travel, to dodgy weather, closed attractions, cultural differences and more. It is family life with added stress and complications. Don’t worry – the kids will remember it fondly, and it is type 2 fun for your wife and you.
this is spot on and it’s well worth reminding yourself for next time. i think it was on Modern Family where the mum described family holidays as business trips.
you have my sympathy, though. our last holiday my son at his usual time said, i need a poo and off he popped to the bathroom. a moment later, “it came out before i sat down.”
when we went to investigate he’d painted the entire bathroom brown with diarrhea from the waist down.
we were only 3 hours up the road!
on the bright side, we weren't on an aeroplane this time.
Stevextc taking one for the team...
Making the OP realise how much worse his life could be....
He could be married to Steve's kid's mum 😵💫
As ever Steve, hoping you get through it ( or out of it?)
Without wishing to be rude, it sounds like you are quite an anxious family.
This made me actually laugh out loud.
Perhaps we are an anxious family. It’s normal to be anxious doing something for the first time. Previously me and my wife would have only ourselves to worry about. It’s different when there’s kids to look after.
Absolutely. We had plenty of foreign holidays when the kids were very young, with no disasters, but not so many as they got a little older, possibly because they get quite stressful. I remember sitting there the night before, visualising all the things that might go wrong so that I could prepare myself for how bad-tempered I was going to get. 😀
My folks arranged a large family holiday to Spain for their Ruby wedding. Mrs LJ was heavily pregnant (last month of being able to fly) but had been checked out by the midwife and had her fit to fly letter to hand. The Stasi operative on the boarding gate decided that due to the letter not being dated, we weren't going anywhere. Cue tears from stressed wife and 4yo son while I negotiated through the most gritted of teeth. In the end the pilot intervened and we were allowed on to find someone in the seats we had pre booked and kicked off at being asked to move.
We arrived in Malaga at 10pm and went to collect the hire car from the baking hot basement to be met by a member of the hire staff having a fist fight with a customer.
We finally picked up the the car to discover that despite there only being two bits of minor damage on the collection form, the actual car looked like Father Ted's competition prize.
The following week was spent trying to contact the midwife to get a new letter, slightly worried that if Mrs LJ was denied return boarding, Jr. would be entitled to a Spanish passport. Add to that her horrible back ache and reflux while trying to look like we were all having fun for my dear Mum and Dad.
It was a while before we flew again.
Mrs LJ was heavily pregnant (last month of being able to fly) but had been checked out by the midwife and had her fit to fly letter to hand
That reminds me of a holiday we took with friends in Brittany. We had 8 month old and a pregnant, sick stage mrs_oab, and our friend was 8.5 months pregnant and ready to drop. There was all sorts of hilarity over someone not fitting in a bathing costume due to the bump (it looked like a thong and allowed far too much side boobage), mrs_oab puking everywhere including both ferry journeys, both women overheating at a whiff of sun, and my mate and I consoling ourselves with the fact that when the kids arrived it would all be fine ....
It wasn't a disaster, but it was a week where home comforts would have been better...
I’m sure you could get endless holiday horror stories off here,
it’s become something of a Funk family tradition that our holidays must involve a hospital visit or ambulance at some point. This year was the first year without incident since the kids were born. Now nine and five. Holiday felt strange without catastrophe striking.
We’ve had crazy leg infections, mass food poisoning, sudden serious breathing issues and gastroenteritis. All within the UK too!
Weirdly, now she loves flying, learning 2 languages and nagging us to go abroad again every year!
Useful reminder this. The pay off often comes much later. The difficult holidays you provide for your kids (if you’re lucky enough to be able to) often help form them. Parenting is rarely an instant gratification thing… why expect holidays to be excluded from that?
It's this sort of stuff that puts me off going abroad as a family. Just too much hassle.
We have done it once and it was great but if you're in the UK at least you can just drive home if something happens.
I have enough stress in my work life so try to avoid it when going on holiday.
I could never understand how some people would go on holiday to the same place every year. But as I've got older I can understand the appeal.
As a kid we went on lots of fantastic trips as a family including driving a dormobile from India back the UK. However the point of this is that we got stuck at a border ( I think Iran/Iraq) and in order to get the border guards to take pity on us my dear mother pinched me ( a 5 yr old blond blue eyed kid) to make me cry. apparently it worked 🙂
I could never understand how some people would go on holiday to the same place every year. But as I’ve got older I can understand the appeal.
Same sort of thing as going to an all-included resort: you've got the hassle of flying (and once you've done that a couple of times it's not that bad), an airport transfer (again not much of an issue), then once checked-in you can just enjoy yourself. Maybe do a day trip to some local attraction if you like, but otherwise just disconnect. Not something I'd necessarily want to do now, but when the kids were younger we did them a couple of times and they were great.
Our first holiday abroad as a family was to Torreviejca, picked up at the airport by a driver who informed us that our accommodation " had changed".
Arrived at the accommodation to find it was very obviously someone's private holiday apartment, full of personal stuff etc. Certainly not the place I had booked.
It was very late so I thought " I'll phone in the morning" .
Woke up to find it would be difficult to phone as some people had broken in and relieved us of everything apart from the travellers cheques and passports that I hidden under the fridge.
Got dressed and joined a very long queue at the local Police station reporting the same problem. .. Then spent money on a phone and about £50 of credit trying, to no avail, to find out why we were in the wrong accommodation...just got the run around from the travel company...
...Fun times, wife lost all her rings and kids lost their Walkmans 😡😡.
Making the OP realise how much worse his life could be….
Not that I'd wish it on anyone but ...
Stevextc taking one for the team…
I did, but I can't or won't this year.
Last year I went because he was afraid to be alone with her but he'll be nearly 14 this year.
He's confident he can handle her so its up to him if he goes.
He knows why I'm not going and supports it.
As ever Steve, hoping you get through it ( or out of it?)
He'll be going to Uni is 4 years...
It’s this sort of stuff that puts me off going abroad as a family. Just too much hassle.
It doesn't need to be, We took our kids abroad frequently and from a young age (babies) They experienced airports, weird food, being awake at odd hours and bored for hours at a time, and got used to it, by the time they were 6+ they were both experienced travellers who took most things in their stride. Holidays anywhere after that were pretty incident free.
We're heading off for our 1st family camping holiday in a couple of weeks. What could possibly go wrong? This thread is giving me anxiety lol
We’re heading off for our 1st family camping holiday in a couple of weeks. What could possibly go wrong? This thread is giving me anxiety lol
In fairness you're only hearing the horror stories. As long as you remember it's not actually a holiday for you, you'll not be disappointed. 😉
We’re heading off for our 1st family camping holiday in a couple of weeks. What could possibly go wrong? This thread is giving me anxiety lol
@Paul-B
If it's not raining all the time(!) family camping holidays can be some of the best. Kids love the freedom of a camp site and making new friends.
I think it'll be OK, there's only the four of us sleeping in our camper...I'm taking a spare tent just in case lol.
It should be fun though
My name is thelittlesthobo and i do not enjoy foreign holidays
There, i have said it. Its out of the bag and i can breathe. Some people, families etc just dont know how to enjoy a foreign holiday. Who cares? Its not for everyone. Me personally, i end up stuck in a hotel room trying to cool down reading my ipad. I may as well be more comfortable at home.
...
Holidays are never easy as a family. From the sickness you have, to arguing kids and adults, to the vagaries and complexity of travel, to dodgy weather, closed attractions, cultural differences and more. It is family life with added stress and complications. Don’t worry – the kids will remember it fondly, and it is type 2 fun for your wife and you.
We're going to Rhodes next week. I wasn't initially on board, I only agreed to keep my partner happy. But honestly right now it can't come soon enough, my personal life is in crisis for various reasons.
The loadout is my girlfriend; her daughter (hereafter known as The Girl) who is the prime instigator in this excursion; her bloke; and their just over 1yo almost-toddler.
The Girl is obsessed. She started packing six weeks ago. I dread to think how often she's repacked. She's already started sending links to next year's potential holiday before this one's started. Every weekend for the last few weeks has been my OH and her daughter going "shopping for the holiday," buying various bottles of crap because obviously Greek islands don't have shops and it's not like I can barely close bathroom cupboard doors as it is anyway. Mrs Cougar (that sounds wrong) is now eyeing up my luggage as a potential overflow system.
My approach is, I've got a carry-on sized case. I've wanged a few tee-shirts and shorts in there along with my toiletries bag, mostly to prevent arguments. When we're due to go I'll hoy a couple of books and phone chargers into the bag and then go. I fail to see why a fortnight's holiday requires several weeks of precursor drama. Because **** it, the point of a holiday is to get away from all this shit and if I run out of clean underpants the sky isn't going to fall in so who cares. Moreover, why should anyone else care that I might have packed insufficient socks? I'm a terrible planner, but I'm an Olympic level fixer. I'll work it out.
My 'plan' for the next fortnight is to sit on a deckchair next to a pool in the sun, sipping something fruity whilst either reading or listening to podcasts. This does not require military planning. My idea of getting away from it all includes everyone who's coming with me. 😁 You all want to go to an aquarium, cool, I love you dearly but off you ****, I've got several seasons of Big Finish audio dramas, a bottle of coconut oil and a pint of sangria.