[Closed] Finding enjoyment again - Mental health content

Randomly - can she swim? There's lots of evidence that cold/open water swimming has a positive mental impact. I've only dabbled but there is certainly a euphoric feeling for some time after.

I went through a very joyless period a few months ago, my anxieties were mounting causing the deepest depression I've had. For a short while i couldn't see past it but eventually it took something tragic and awful happening [not going to say what] to jolt me into doing something about it.

I broke it down into what i enjoy; riding my bikes, running, climbing and being outside.

If your wife's favourite activity was being in the woods, what was it that she liked about that to bring her joy and what does she feel has changed to make it feel like a slog?

Oh and scotroutes is correct about the open water swimming, again i've only dabbled but the first time was when it was -2 degrees outside and i was on a massive rush afterwards. This was during my really low period and whilst not a long term fix, it felt good for a while and gave me a bit of hope that things would improve.

From having been there myself, If you can help her find something to get that bit of joy and get her out of her head and anxieties for a bit then that hope might be there for her

I'd say that's a fairly common thing with anxiety etc, so dealing with/distracting from the MH stuff is what's needed: whatever works for her presuming she has got through it previously? (pills, meditation etc)

Yes, very normal (for me any way). I went through a rough period a few years ago and found no pleasure in being out on my bike, when normally it was something I really enjoyed.

Once I got myself in a better place, the pleasure returned. Also, biking with mates rather than on my own also helped make stuff more fun.

I did keep at it though, as even though there wasn't the same joy in riding bikes, it was still better than the alternative of sitting in front of the telly etc!

Good luck!

Sounds a bit like me.

Is she on medication because that can average out the highs and well as the lows.

Is it the getting changed and getting out there that's a challenge or is it a bit of a slog once she's out there? If it's the former, then talk it through and agree that you'll be quite firm when coaxing her into action.

Lastly, don't underestimate the importance of talking and social interaction - for both of you, with each other and with friends - for addressing problems and being distracted from them.

Things will get better.

been struggling too.  possibly not entirely sensible but I've been using caffeine pills before a ride (they have to be early due to commitments) to give me a kick up the arse.  first half hour is generally horrible then I get into it.  always happier I went out than didn't.  going to try a ride tomorrow without...

I use thermopure from my protein think it is about the equivalent of 5 cups of coffee....

(I'm monitoring blood pressure and HR daily)

One of the best bits of advise I got was "Fake it , 'till you make it"

Do the things that you are supposed to enjoy and try your hard to pretend to yourself that you're enjoying it. Eventually you might be right.

Also, find something every day to laugh at, no matter how stupid.

I often come on here when i'm feeling low and make stupid jokes even if I don't feel like laughing.

I commonly end up riffing off something else funny that someone else has posted and  catch myself off guard and end up having a bit of  a chuckle  which always gives me a bit of a lift.

Would something constructive or creative help? A rigid heddle loom is fairly straightforward and you get to see things coming together very quickly.

I don't have any real solutions, just a bit practical experience. be selfish and by that I mean, we all kind of owe to ourselves to find the experiences that really give us a sense of fulfillment. for many here, it's clearly bikes. for me its bikes - time away from the clutter of my other life (by no means bad but clutter all the same). time apart and a sense of independence, and adventure. alone and completely self-reliant. arriving back home after a journey with no point other than the journey itself.

it works for me but everyone has different requirements. maybe its cooking, or watercolours, or ultra marathons. I've had times when I feel I've lost years in a booze haze, times when I don't really recognise what the hell I was doing but I know the key to some sort of satisfaction is definitely mental and physical stimulation. the themes are around broadly healthy stuff.

I said I had no real point but to anyone facing difficulty, keep looking - I hope you find that sweet spot!

It sounds like depression (although bizarrely some of the side-effects of some psychiatric medication can be depressed mood).

I've had a long and ongoing (and presumably life-long) battle with mental health issues so I sympathise. It sounds like your wife is doing the right things (not doing anything and staying in just becomes the new baseline) but it might take a while to find enjoyment again.

I'm inclined to the feeling that outdoors and physical is good - although something enjoyable indoors is pretty essential with the English weather; gardening often seems to rate highly for it's benefit with mental health (although it's not for me). Caring/nurturing roles can be good as long as they're manageable; I'm not sure how you are for pets but I find cats especially therapeutic - or perhaps helping out with an animal charity if you have one locally.

Despite my (and others') suggestion that medication could play a part, don't discount medication as an aid either, whether it's short or long term (I'm on mine for life and it's made a huge difference). Also, sometimes a dark mood can lift as suddenly as it descends so never lose hope.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the importance of talking and social interaction

I've done a lot of work in support groups which have been great - both therapeutically and socially.

Good luck and I hope that things improve soon.

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[url= https://leagueofgentlemen.live/ ]Also, find something every day to laugh at, no matter how stupid.[/url]

Have a think about values. Find out what it is at a fundamental level what motivates her. Going to the gym because she feels she ought to is providing motivation. Often things that you value bring fulfilment and a feeling of happiness.

It can be a case of being selfish, when you feel low, being ruthless and simply prioritising that which you value over everything else. Often if you don't do this you can end up inactive in any case.

https://portlandpsychotherapyclinic.com/values_exercises/

https://psychologytools.com/values.html

You'll get more info if you type CBT values or ACT values into google.

I had a particularly bad autumn and winter just gone with depression and on most days I felt utterly joyless and lacking in energy. A few things did help though:

going to our local alpaca farm and just watching the alpacas and llamas

drawing animals

cuddling up with the cat

live music

Is she a doggy person? Walking in the woods is good but walking in the woods with an excited dog who is just happy to be alive is another level of good. Their joy is just infectious. Could be just the tonic for her. Lots of ways to spend time with dogs too if you can't commit to owning one yourselves. Will only work of course if she's 'doggy'.