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My best friend left her husband 2 years ago.
In that time he has become £20,000 in debt.
She was always the bread winner, worked 6 days per week, is still paying half the mortgage even though she's no longer in the family home.
They are not yet divorced as she can't afford to. She also doesn't want to get into paying for solicitors and to keep costs down as much as possible.
Her family and friends are worried that he will be able to claim half her pension.
Any advice please as to how she can avoid this (she realises he will be entitled to some of it).
Without going into too much detail, he's a lazy, selfish controlling man (I could make a very long list).
Thanks.
If she's still paying half the mortgage then she should make some home improvements.
A new patio perhaps?
is still paying half the mortgage even though she’s no longer in the family home.
They are not yet divorced as she can’t afford to.
Sounds like she can't afford not to. She might find she is better off in the long run by speaking to a solicitor. They will not usually charge for an initial consultation. This forum tends to portray family lawyers as money-grabbing strife-peddlers, but in my experience this hasn't been the case among the better solicitors for decades. It's all about mediation and reaching a settlement.
She generally would be entitled to half his pension, and he half hers... it should be layed out on the table, and 'equalized'.
The longer they remain married, the more her pension grows.
Without going into too much detail, he’s a lazy, selfish controlling man (I could make a very long list).
hmm.. my self-experienced sympathies!
DrP
Without going into too much detail, he’s a lazy, selfish controlling man (I could make a very long list).
The law cares not one jot for the character of those involved, sadly she has to prepare herself for the fact that what you put in will have no bearing on what you get to take away. A lot will depend on whether they have children or not and who will care for them. Even my wife's family thought what I got out of our divorce was utterly unjust, I'd owned outright 75% of our first house together before we were an item but in the end our assets were split 50:50. I still find that hard to deal with even though my ex wife and I are on very good terms and are in contact a lot. I don't have any resentment to her it's just the sense of frustration of having to walk away from what I worked very hard to aquire. However the law is there primarily to protect the interests of the children and make sure that those who may have sacrificed a career to look after them are looked after. We did everything with very minimal involvement of solicitors but it sounds like in this case it will be the best money she has ever spent.
The law starts from an assumption of a 50:50 split of the assets of the marriage. Quite often the pensions of the parties can be the largest assets. More than the value of the property in some cases.
It is then down to the parties or their lawyers to move the presumption in any direction. As said earlier, this is done in the first instance by mediation these days and then if there is no agreement, in front of a judge.
Your friend should ask around for recommendations as to who the best divorce lawyer in town is and hire them ASAP. It will be worth the cost in the long run.
What p's me off about the pensions thing is that "i'm not needing my pension money now"...but could really do with some hard cold equity from the house now (to house me and the kids)...
I personally feel pensions should be able to be 'ignored' and just equalized in the background... meh!
DrP
She also doesn’t want to get into paying for solicitors
Tough, I'm afraid, cos that's what she needs.
Share = Assets/2 where Assets = sum (Pension + Property + Car + Bikes + Jewelry + ...)
If she has a final salary pension, it will be valued as a pot worth 20x the current income. If it's a defined contribution pension then it is the current value. Final salary pensions are very valuable for the above equation. There used to be rules about taking a deferred income years after the divorce, but clean breaks based on a 20x valuation are more typical now.
She generally would be entitled to half his pension, and he half hers… it should be layed out on the table, and ‘equalized’.
The law starts from an assumption of a 50:50 split of the assets of the marriage
no - it depends on the length of the marriage - it's 50:50 for a long term marriage which is regarded as 15 years I think. Under 5 years and it's walk away with what you have/came in with.
Based on my divorce of just over 2 years ago.
wikivorce have solicitor services for a fixed price where you complete a spreadsheet of everyones assets, get one phone call to discuss, and then they suggest what a fair split looks like based on circumstance. You can then pay for further advice if you want.
You can then use this guidence as an impartial guidance to mediate from.
Depends on how reasonable the other party is going to be but if this is transparent then she might not need further mediation.
that's probably the cheapest option.
Almost every week I hear a similar story and I am amazed people still get married with zero protection thinking it will never happenen to them.
Blimey, Bunnyhop - you gave me a shock when I read the thread title and the author!
I hope you've warned your husband about this thread?
I got 25% of the house after a near 30 year marriage. how did that happen?
Bit surprised nobody has come back on the 20k debt. Granted I know nothing about it 🙂 but my expectation is that she may well also be liable for half his debt so another reason why she needs to get the heck on with this before the debt grows even bigger.
No?
I think the debt will only matter if in joint names if its been run up after separation. But yes get the hell out of any joint accounts etc get them frozen if necessary, if they are in joint names you are both liable for any debts accrued, whoever may have run up the bill.
Thanks everyone. I love Perchys idea.
He hasn't got a pension (self employed).
She has a really good one and has worked hard to get where she is.
His debt is in his name. However they have a joint debt (run up by him) which she is paying off.
I'm worried for her health and well being.
She is sensible, educated and caring.
Unfortunately they've been married many years.
However they have a joint debt (run up by him) which she is paying off.
Just make sure that account is otherwise frozen ie no money can be taken out, it cost me over £2k to pay off my wife's ex husbands debt to get her name off an account she didn't know he still had access to 😕
Her family and friends are worried that he will be able to claim half her pension.
In a word, they're right. In Scotland it's half of the pension apportioned to the time they've been married as a portion of the accrual of the pension, in England it's half the total sum regardless of the duration of marriage and pension.
Have they engaged mediation or anything? This can be effective to support the legal process at lower cost and in a shorter duration - but 2 years on and no certainty on these things implies they have not done so.
She absolutely needs to get the ball rolling on divorce, and stop paying the mortgage if she doesn't live there (this would pay for her legal fees) - unless this is in lieu of maintenance payments for kids or something. If not, he will potentially continue to accrue her pension and she his debts.
You may be able to guess I'm in a similar position the other way around, but I did not move out on the basis that I knew she couldn't maintain the mortgage, and we're getting there legally. Most importantly, she's accrued about £10k of debt and I've made mortgage payments/reduced my debts/paid into my pension in the intervening period, but the date of separation has been defined. I'm not sure how it works in England, but it absolutely needs sorting. Hopefully there is a similar date of separation but she's risking taking on his debts/losing more pension in either case - or at least having a more expensive legal battle to avoid this.
PM me if you want more info. IANAL!
His debt is in his name.
Doesn't really matter if they're still married. Nearly all our debts were in my name, because she didn't work/couldn't get credit.