feeling tingly/guil...
 

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[Closed] feeling tingly/guilty....

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despite the fact i'm very happy with my GF i sometimes can't help letting my mind wander - as is currently the case.

i met some girl from san fran. last year and used to go out for a few drinks in the evening whilst on a course we were doing. we both really hit it off and made each other laugh (dark sense of humour) and just generally enjoyed each others company.

she's been away over winter, but we have stayed in email contact. she said often that we didn't see enough of each other whilst she was here (live in different towns 3 hours apart). thing is she's back and has sent me a few emails asking me to go out for a drink or two with her.

i get a cheeky tingle in me loins and i half-think the feeling is mutual as she keeps badgering me to go out with her (despite the fact she moved over here for her BF and they now have a house together - he is quite straight-laced, but a good guy).

not that i feel anything will/would ever happen between us... but still.

thought it best to get it off my chest here than with the GF....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:22 am
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TW*T


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:23 am
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Bin it.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:23 am
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She is with someone and wants to wander? You are with someone and want to wander?

Sounds like you are made for each other. Until the Next Best Thing comes along.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:24 am
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Arrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

deja vu


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:25 am
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Stay away. The way you are heading leads to pain


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:27 am
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Girls usuly won't talk to me buy ur frend sones nice so I wud ask her if she wants 2 woch a DVD and ete pizza then put sum moves on her ul nevar no if u don't try


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:27 am
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no no no no no no!

you've got me wrong! i knew i shouldn't have bothered with this...

NOTHING is going to happen. my GF is fully aware of her existence, as is her fella of mine.

just like each other company and can make each other laugh and smile.....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:28 am
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Balls to that.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:30 am
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wow, my first time of seeing a Mark Datz post.. 😀

Shag her and have done with it...


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:30 am
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You said some girl gives you the horn, what did we get wrong?


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:31 am
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ha ha ha 'her fella of mine'

freudian...

is there a bit you are leaving out in this love triangle story?


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:32 am
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Mark Datz - Member

Girls usuly won't talk to me buy ur frend sones nice so I wud ask her if she wants 2 woch a DVD and ete pizza then put sum moves on her ul nevar no if u don't try

mark if you talk like you spell i'm surprised anyone talks to you...


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:33 am
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Be honest with yourself. Or meet up as two couples


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:33 am
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I think Mark's advice is wicked.

Or awesome.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:34 am
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tracknicko - Member

ha ha ha 'her fella of mine'

freudian...

is there a bit you are leaving out in this love triangle story?

my GF is fully aware of her existence, as is her fella of mine.

read it in context, perfectly perfect sentence.....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:35 am
 DrP
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Girls usuly won't talk to me buy ur frend sones nice so I wud ask her if she wants 2 woch a DVD and ete pizza then put sum moves on her ul nevar no if u don't try

I put that into google translate - nothing......

DrP


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:35 am
 ajf
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Be honest with yourself

I think that is what he is concerned about.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:36 am
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ah balls. the english language trips me up again.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:37 am
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In agreement with TJ, was just about to type a similar thing.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:37 am
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FFS guys! Lighten up.

It's guilty, harmless little secret that gives the OP a bit of a buzz. He's said he doesn't want to take it any further.

Jeez, it's heavy on here today


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:38 am
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yea srt out a gng bng lke wt TJ sys


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:38 am
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Mark Datz - Member
Girls usuly won't talk to me buy ur frend sones nice so I wud ask her if she wants 2 woch a DVD and ete pizza then put sum moves on her ul nevar no if u don't try

A future classic?

I'm waiting for our dear Mark to trully integrate with the forum and threaten to "owin im wiz bomberz"


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:39 am
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My crystal ball predicts that this is just the start of your life turning upside down.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:40 am
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it's just odd... we've got a lot in common.

both met our other-half in australia whilst backpacking.

both moved to germany because of our other-half (her's couldn't get a green card).

both used to take lots of drugs before moving to germany where such things aren't so readily available.

er.... that might in fact be all we have in common.

oh, and we were on this course together....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:40 am
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Stacks in common there then alpin 😉 Point being that if you feel guilty you probably shouldn't be doing it.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:42 am
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Meet up as couples, chuck your keys in the bowl........


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:43 am
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Point being that if you feel guilty you probably shouldn't be doing it.

Or more realistically, its too late.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:43 am
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hainey - Member

My crystal ball predicts that this is just the start of your life turning upside down.

it turned long ago and hasn't righted since....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:45 am
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it turned long ago and hasn't righted since....

Know how you feel


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:46 am
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not that i shouldn't be doing it. just think each of us has this little "what-if" spark going on.....

mmmm.....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:48 am
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mark datz - are you from banff ?


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:49 am
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just think each of us has this little "what-if" spark going on.....

With all sympathy, you're screwed!


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 11:49 am
 DWH
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The problem with internet forums is that it provides a ready outlet for dark little thoughts that should remain locked firmly inside your head.

Imagine we're all sat in the pub and an attractive girl walks past. Maybe a few sidelong glances are taken. Perhaps we catch someone else's eye. Eyebrows are raised, a moment is shared and we return to the conversation.

But...

You couldn't let it go at that, "Cor... I'd like to shag her!" you say.

You see? you've gone too far. It's OK to quietly think it in a momentary, passing, [u]deniable[/u] way but it it [i]not[/i] OK so come out with it like that.

I don't think I know you, but I've met a few people off STW and if we ever [i]do[/i] meet I'll always think of you as that low-life that wants to two-time his girlfriend with some American tart.

Elizabeth I declared that she had "no desire to make windows into men's souls" and I'm with her on that, but you've managed to do the job quite satisfactorily all on your own.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:00 pm
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[i]Point being that if you feel guilty you probably shouldn't be doing it.[/i]

I'm not entirely convinced this is correct. I don't really know, as I've certainly never had a well-functioning relationship based on mutual love and trust, but I suspect many, many people are sufficiently bored that the occasional frisson of excitement from thinking about playing around is probably beneficial. I've read on the internet (so it must be true) that many relationships benefit enormously from one party cheating, because the guilt they feel makes them work harder on the relationship. If there's any truth in that at all then the small amount of guilt that comes from vaguely fantasizing about shagging someone when it's almost certainly not really going to happen must be at least mildly beneficial.

Also, and maybe I'm just not very good at converting potential shags into actual ones, simply going out with someone I fancy doesn't for a moment mean that anything to feel genuine guilt about is actually going to occur. If you go into things not intending anything to happen then I' not convinced any guilt is even required. 🙂


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:03 pm
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You kinda have 3 choices, don't you:

1. carry on as you are (probably not viable long term)

2. jack it in with the current GF/BF and give it a go (might be fabulous, but is likely to lead to a suspicious relationship because of the way you got together)

3. Stop right now and not risk what you already have. (Boring but easy, or leads to long-term happiness if you and you current GF actually have something).

Only my opinion, nothing more. Not sure what I'd do, if I'm honest, since we all tend to love the excitement of a new relationship despite knowing that it NEVER stays like that forever...


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:03 pm
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[i] that low-life that wants to two-time his girlfriend with some American tart[/i]

Ouch! That's harsh. 😀 😯


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:04 pm
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I'm with Mark... Woch a DVD, ete some pizza and put some moves on her.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:07 pm
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go for it, you have nothing to lose


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:08 pm
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oh shits.... you all think i've fallen for her. i've not. i've a great GF here. we each run on the same wavelength and have the same end goals; she's very supportive, a great cook, a good laugh (also dark sense of humour), very creative and intelligent. and it's been that way for the last (gulp, almost 8) 7 years.

i'm not going to throw it all away for some home-sick septic.... she's also a great girl, but has got a screw or two loose somewhere.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:14 pm
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Girls usuly won't talk to me

tell us something we didn't know 🙂


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:14 pm
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mebbe sum grls tlk funi lyke da Datz innit? 😉


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:16 pm
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On the up side she might make a fantastic f*ck buddy! 😉


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:19 pm
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or do what my mate did, organise a meal/drinks night out with the both partners along as well, wait till you get home, then jump on the bed like a love panther, tap both sides of the bed invitingly and purr "come on guys what about it?" wink.....

sadly his missus punched him full in the face bringing the proceedings to an abrupt halt.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:23 pm
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On the up side she might make a fantastic f*ck buddy!

My thoughts exactly, and on BD's original post, [b]not[/b] his lazt wun!


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:40 pm
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how would you feel if your mrs did it?


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 12:45 pm
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that tingly guilt is probably the most sustainable enjoyment you will get out of this situation
.
as with many things in life, acting on your impulses often leads to pain, misery and regret, the only upside being good material for your mémoires
.
as the great Homer J once said "the first step towards failure is trying"


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:02 pm
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When you're single you tend to chase the quick burning easy targets out of necessity and move in for the kill ASAP. Now you are in a relationship you have to treat this one as a slow burner and keep it warm until you find yourself single again (which it sounds like you almost certainly will).


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:03 pm
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thanks steve!


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:19 pm
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it's just odd... we've got a lot in common.

both met our other-half in australia whilst backpacking.

both moved to germany because of our other-half (her's couldn't get a green card).

both used to take lots of drugs before moving to germany where such things aren't so readily available.

er.... that might in fact be all we have in common.

oh, and we were on this course together....

Stalker?


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:28 pm
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It's always cool to find people that you get on really well with...but I think you should ask yourself how you would feel if your girlfriend did the same with a guy she had a connection with.

Personally, I'd meet up as 2 couples or take my other half with me. Then the message is loud and clear and everyone can be friends 🙂


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:37 pm
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Y don't u c if they will sheer u mayb 1 can hav u mon we'd fri & other 1 on other days then swop 4 the next week it will be fun 4 u all coz the girls can get bond by other dudes on ur day of


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:37 pm
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Y don't u c if they will sheer u mayb 1 can hav u mon we'd fri & other 1 on other days then swop 4 the next week it will be fun 4 u all coz the girls can get bond by other dudes on ur day of

Eh? 😕


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:40 pm
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No I'm not from bunff I dony lik germins there not bad peepel but I don't yndarstnd them


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:41 pm
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Mark Datz - Fantastic! The Dizzy Rascal of STW 😆


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:49 pm
 DrP
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Y don't u c if they will sheer u mayb 1 can hav u mon we'd fri & other 1 on other days then swop 4 the next week it will be fun 4 u all coz the girls can get bond by other dudes on ur day of

Surely it's more effort to type like that, than it would be to use the correct letters in the correct order?
Just a thought...

DrP


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:53 pm
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the GF has a few mates who are male and with whom she gets on really well. nice enough blokes, but not my cup of tea..... a bit too effeminate. any bloke who can talk on the phone for over 30 minutes before deciding to come round or go for coffee isn't worth worrying about. or maybe that's their ploy....

i've not got a prob with the GF meeting her mates. same as she hasn't got a problem with me meeting mine. some of her mates are male, some of my mates are female.

though i did make the mistake of describing this septic as "a pretty girl". her face changed after that to one of curiousity to jealousy....


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 1:57 pm
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Alpin - Sounds like you've got the 7 yr itch and only you will know whether it needs a scratch! Your certainly not going to get the answer from faceless middle aged jealous forum bloggers pontificating about the rights/wrongs on whether you should or shouldn't go and see your friend alone. After all just because youv'e got the maybe I would/maybe I woudn't thoughts, those feelings would have to be mutual by both parties surely.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 2:26 pm
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Surely it's more effort to type like that, than it would be to use the correct letters in the correct order?
Just a thought...

DrP

Grandad 😀


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 2:32 pm
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Y don't u c if they will sheer u mayb 1 can hav u mon we'd fri & other 1 on other days then swop 4 the next week it will be fun 4 u all coz the girls can get bond by other dudes on ur day of

Stunned by this guy; truly; [b]SUNNED[/b]


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 2:53 pm
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hey Alpin, you sure her and her BF are hoping for an Alpin sandwich? 😀


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 2:54 pm
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Mark Datz ....amazing stuff, he needs to join the crown race..

oh and Alpin....know the feeling, it'll pass.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:26 pm
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naokfreek - Member
oh and Alpin....know the feeling, it'll pass.

It probably will, but no reason why he shouldn't enjoy a bit of high-octane sports sex with her while the iron is hot so to speak...


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:30 pm
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True. But it'll end in tears, these things always do....so have your thoughts but don't carry them out, imagine that..go on.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:32 pm
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I think we should have a quote of the day from mr datz, the guy is a genius. Absolutely love the 'ete pizza' line.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:38 pm
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i've got 2 birds on the go. twice the expense, 4 times the hassle.

i'm stressed just thinking bout it!!

seriously - don't bother.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:46 pm
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As you go through life you will met many people you have a “connection with”, as you rise in stature and age at work you will more as likely find yourself in the company of younger pretty young things who listen to you and laugh at your jokes out of a mixture of sympathy and the desire to impress the boss, you may also retain some attraction that also brings these ladies to you. The difference between a human being and a rutting beats is the fact that you can sit down and think...

Do I want to hurt my partner, screw up my life, and risk everything for the chance to bump uglies with someone who will just as likely do the same to the next guy? I get a frisson of excitement when some of the temps in the office invite me out for a drink or wander about the office in inappropriate proto office wear. But then I think of my wife and all the years of fun and happiness we have and how pathetic the thought of losing all this is for the chance to undergo the same sensation I have had many times with many other ladies when I was younger until I found it all to be a bit samey with the lights off and ultimately went looking for the something more I found in my wife.

On the other hand if she makes you realise that you and your partner just don’t have a future then do the descent thing and break up with her before you do anything else.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:49 pm
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Simples - picture yourself as an old man, is the current gf with you being old?
If not, then bang away and let the emotional fireworks commence - but just remember the lyrics to [url= http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank+zappa/bobby+brown_20056812.html ]Bobby Brown[/url]

MrP you can't apply logic to catz lyk da Datz 😀


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 3:50 pm
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I think the way Practical Matt has phrased the question tends to steer us in the direction of one particular answer. 😀


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 4:01 pm
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You cant help chemistry and a bit of flirting does no harm. It would be insensitive to let the GF know about it. I dont get the impression you are seriously considering acting on it.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 4:06 pm
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Die Deutschen flirten sehr subtil und yankesses are prick teasers. Only you know if you like feeling foolish.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 8:29 pm
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alpin - Member

not that i shouldn't be doing it. just think each of us has this little "what-if" spark going on.....

mmmm.....

Save it for the w@nk bank & step away, relationships are full of what ifs, but its not until you've burned your bridges that you realise what you have lost, just be clear in your mind that you want to move on before you proceed.
Cheers.


 
Posted : 11/03/2010 8:48 pm
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No I'm not from bunff I dony lik germins there not bad peepel but [i]I don't yndarstnd them[/i]

Now, if [i][b]EVER[/b][/i] there was an example of irony ........


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 12:17 am
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fadda - Member

You kinda have 3 choices, don't you:

1. carry on as you are (probably not viable long term)

2. jack it in with the current GF/BF and give it a go (might be fabulous, but is likely to lead to a suspicious relationship because of the way you got together)

3. Stop right now and not risk what you already have. (Boring but easy, or leads to long-term happiness if you and you current GF actually have something).

[b][i]Or[/i][/b]

Option 4.

Dome one off into a 'jiffy' bag, post it to her, she can pour it on her hair, face, boobs etc. Mission accomplished, no harm no foul. From the description you gave of the two of you I think you'd both enjoy that.


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 12:59 am
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Don't go there! The sex will be fantastic but you'll be sorry & you'll probly end up in a world of sh!t.
(I did a similar thing about 9 years ago.) She'll be a bunny boiler, mark my words.

PS, whenever I think of 'my' bunny boiler I still get a hard on. 😈


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 7:47 am
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coz the girls can get bond by other dudes on ur day of .....

laughing fit to soil myself. if that isn't the post of the week i don;t know what is. mark datz, you are a comedy behemoth.


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 8:12 am
 flip
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Just do her you know you wanna 😉

You just want us all to say 'yeah that'll be great, and your GF will never find out'


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 8:16 am
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Gently stroke her perineum and see where it leads....


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 8:33 am
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That's near her elbow, right?


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 10:40 am
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BigDummy - Member
That's near her elbow, right?

Durrr, no, it's in her herbacious border between the tulip and the stinkhorn.


 
Posted : 12/03/2010 10:45 am
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