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Chief Inspector Morse: Isn't it your round?Detective Sergeant Lewis: Do you think another one's a good idea?
Chief Inspector Morse: [b]Think? That's why I want it - to think. I don't drink for pleasure![/b]
I often use this as justification.
I've only used it twiceDo you think I'd have pissed my pants if I was sober ?
Dennis Skinner
Half the Tory members opposite are crooks.
He was then told to withdraw the remark.
OK, half the Tory members aren’t crooks.
Probably just action film ones, shallow that I am.
[i]I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die. [/i]
[i]Listen. Understand. That Terminator is out there. It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with. It doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead. [/i]
And some bicycling ones
[i]When my legs hurt, I say: "Shut up legs! Do what I tell you to do!"[/i]
And Mark Twain's
[i]Get a bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live. [/i]
Half the Tory members opposite are crooks
Ozzie take:
When Sir Winton Turnbull [who represented a large rural seat] was raving and ranting on the adjournment and shouted: "I am a Country member". [url= http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Gough_Whitlam ]Gough Whitlam[/url] interjected "I remember". He could not understand why, for the first time in all the years he had been speaking in the House, there was instant and loud applause from both sides.
Housework can't kill you - but why take the chance?
General Melchett: If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched [s]C-beams[/s] sea breams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.
I always thought it was a slightly odd fishing tale
A rugby coach being interviwed and sounding qute upbeat when the interviewer pointed out some stats that didn't really back up what he was saying
"Well I use statistics like a drunk uses a lampost - for support, not for illumination"
"Fascinating" - Spock
You don't have to be scared to get your ass kicked.
A: "I thought you couldn't be trapped in boxes?"
B: "that was a metaphor! this is an actual box"
To me trying to report someone fraudulently using a disabled driving badge:-
Them"He may have a disability that is not immediately obvious"
Me "such as?'
Them "he might be blind"
Which film is that from ? I've only heard it as part of the Oakenfold Goa essential mix from 1994, which is my favourite 2 hour turbo music...
To try. To fail. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Samuel Beckett.
PS Sorry to raise the tone. 😀
"Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly."
Churchill
flapjack its blade runner, most of the samples in that mix are from bladerunner- both are excellent
[i]“It is not down on any map; true places never are”[/i] ? Herman Melville, [i]Moby-Dick[/i].
So screw you, GPS.
Oakenfold Goa essential mix from 1994
Fugging great mix! - Dead Can Dance's [i]Sanvean[/i] deployed to maximum effect.
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
"Religion - Shit it" Stephen Fry
"Life may suck, but the alternative is unacceptable" No idea who said this one
[b][i]“We are not here in this world to find elegant solutions, pregnant with initiative, or to serve the ways and modes of profitable progress. No, we are here to provide for all those who are weaker and hungrier, more battered and crippled than ourselves. That is our only certain good and great purpose on earth, and if you ask me about those insoluble economic problems that may arise if the top is deprived of their initiative, I would answer 'To hell with them.' The top is greedy and mean and will always find a way to take care of themselves. They always do.” [/i][/b]
Michael Foot.
Strangely relevant...
Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools.
I like that one, not so sure my boss does.
Probably has more teeth than brain cells
Strangely relevant...
Indeed, ICU grand-wallah. Immediately relevant.
Probably has more teeth than brain cells
What you sayin'? 😈
Passion turns to poison quick as larger turns to pi!ss
John Cooper Clarke
"Spent half my money on fast cars and loose women. The other half, I just wasted...". The incomparable George Best
'All generalisations are dangerous, especially this one.' Mark Twain
"Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I dunno."
- Descartes and Mozza.
Watch him over there, he'll have some ****ers eye out.
King Harold 1066.
"It's not the winning or even taking part, it's the arsing about that counts"
Not sure who, but it's bloody good advice.
Every rose has its thorn
- Poison
The OP will probably know, and if he doesn't , he won't be at all surprised:
Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
George Robertson (now Baron Robertson of Port Ellen) [i]"Devolution will kill Nationalism stone dead"[/i]
Those are my principles, if you don't like them - i have others. GM again
One that always makes me chuckle is from the unlikely source that is Henry Blofeld. Years ago when commentating on a game in which New Zealand were playing he had cause to mention their player Stephen Cunis. He then said:
"It's an odd name, Cunis, neither one thing nor the other".
"War, war is stupid and people are stupid" - Boy George
Eskimo
Amen, DD.
Economics, said Mr Stanley, is 50% psychology … What we need, apparently, is not statesman but hypnotists, not scientists, but witchdoctors, not confidence born of scientific prediction of the future, but confidence created by a political Confidence Trick.
Aneurin Bevan, possibly contributing to a STW thread via ouija board. 😉
Australian Cricketer " Gatting - why are you so fat?"
Gatting " Because every time I screw your wife I eat a biscuit"
In all seriousness, my absolute favourite quote of recent years is from Ozzy Osbourne:
I met Tony Blair a couple of years ago, and he said to me, 'I was in a band once, and I could never get the riff to 'Iron Man' right,'I thought, ‘Why are you telling me about 'Iron Man' when there’s a war going on?'
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too"
Mitch Hedburg
It was to an Australian (Glenn McGrath) but it was a Zimbabwean, Eddo Brandes, who said that every time he 'did' (there's a couple of different versions recorded of which verb was used) his (McGrath's) wife she gave him a biscuit.
dti.
Way off the mark there I'm afraid, it was Eddo Brandes. A Zimbabwean player. Still good though.
Another classy one was the big, rufty tufty South African all rounder to Shane Warne after Warne had been giving him heaps of shit about looking like Gerard Depardieu. Playing in South Africa at the time. He fixed his gaze into warne's eyes and said.
"Listen, mate. Hundreds of people go missing in this country every year. No one is going to miss one more".
You dont always get what you go after but you do get what you wouldnt have got if hadnt gone after what you didnt get. Blaze Foley.
‘Why are you telling me about 'Iron Man' when there’s a war going on?'
Gleaming. One can just imagine the scene.
Bliar's "regular guy" act should be classified as a war crime all of its own.
"Sold as seen"
"Die, my dear doctor! That's the last thing I shall do"
Lord Palmerston - last words
"My spine". Martin Johnson's response when asked what was going through his head during that 6 on 8 defensive scrum in NZ.
and also that Simoncelli/Lorenzo press conference:
"OK.. I will be arrest"
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” Hunter S. Thompson
I met Tony Blair a couple of years ago, and he said to me, 'I was in a band once, and I could never get the riff to 'Iron Man' right,'I thought, ‘Why are you telling me about 'Iron Man' when there’s a war going on?'
On the plus side he had war pigs [i]nailed.[/i]
"everything in moderation, especially moderation"
I like a binge every once in a while and this is nice justification
Wish I could remember what film this was from.
"Got a match?"
"Your breath and a buffalo fart"
Still makes me chuckle.
Frankie Boyle: "Of course there's a vegetarian option - you can f%$£k off!"
"that guy's so stupid, he couldn't pour sh!t out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel"
Recently, don't know who:
"Fox hunting is a great way of getting rid of vermin - but only if enough of them fall off their horses."
"...and stop stealing monkeys!"
A man needs a woman like a fish needs a bicycle!
Wayne Winston Norris Aufwiedersehen Pet
The beaten path is for beaten men.
"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples' money."
Margret Thatcher
I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to - Robbie Williams, Come Undone
Napoleon Bonaparte could turn a phrase.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Ability is nothing without opportunity.
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.
etc etc
if you're going through hell, keep going
25 years ago my wife said, "As long as your happy i'm happy"
Had to remind her of it again this morning.
'...for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle'
Sir Winston again
"This Monty Python. Is he 'one of us'?"
Guess who. She usually gets all the blame.
"Is this a goddamn?" - Beavis (or is it Butthead?)
A one-legged man auditioning for the role of Tarzan
The leg division, Mr Spiggot. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg, I like. I like your right leg, it's a lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw it come in. I said, "that's a lovely leg for the role". I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is — neither have you. You fall down on your left.
"See, I told you I was ill"
Genius Mr Milligan, genius.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
HG wells
Generally thrown back at anyone criticising whatever appalling behaviour I've been indulging in now 😀
Jesus was a black man. No Jesus was Batman No, no, no, no, not at all. That was Bruce Wayne
[i]Shaun Ryder[/i]
Ah, the genius of Shaun Ryder….
Son I'm thirty. I only went with your mother cos she's dirty 😀
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison you.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Lady Astor and Winston Churchill
when the going gets weird the weird turn pro
hunter s again
There is no 'I' in team but there is a 'u' in C*nt.
Kenny 'F*cking' Powers.
“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
Terry Pratchett (Discworld Books)
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!
IMO best line in any TV series...
"All that has happened before, will happen again"
"Am I having a stroke or has someone just turned out the lights?"
"The Arc was built by an amateur, the Titanic by professionals"
"Did you have an extra bowl of stupid for breakfast?"
[i]Moderation in all things, [b]including[/b] moderation[/i]
"The will to win is nothing without the will to prepare"
Juma Ikangaa, Tanzanian Marathon runner.
"It is at the borders of pain and suffering that the men are separated from the boys"
Emil Zatopek, Only man to win the 5000m, 10000m and Marathon at the Olympic games.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?
Epicurus 341 to 270 BCE