[Closed] Falling in love - with the "wrong" person

Louise?

... as i’m claiming a world record here, having just had a bit of a “head of heals” moment for a woman nearly half my age, who lives 6250 miles away from me……

You sure you have not been asked to send some money over yet or asked to redeem some inheritance?

lol no, she's not called louise!

(or indeed brian.... 😉

Buzzcocks did a song about that

Orgasm Addict?

Orgasm Addict?

With a webcam, let the blackmail commence!

Why is she wrong, wrong place, wrong time maybe but she is right.

Even if she's emigrated, it's still illegal to enter into relations with your own sister.

I find it hard to comprehend falling love with someone 6250 miles away. Sounds like lust to me.

I generally find it hard to comprehend falling in love with someone at all, irrespective of distance, which is what made it something of a suprise to me as well!

#luvyoushorttimetakethemoneyandruninitforthepassport

Why is she wrong,

Shes half his age but the Op neglects to say how old he is 🙂

Well, hopefully he's older than 31 or we have an issue.

6250 miles away from me……

That's only six hours on clear roads, provided you make progress properly. 🙂

Sounds like a cathexis to me - or put it another way, an object of desire. Or as above, ‘lust’.

Define ‘love’ please OP. And how are you with the thought of starting a family? At your age? 😉

Either way, she’s more than likely got father /paternal issues, hence the possible attraction for an older man.

Fill yer boots but don’t commit yourself, would be my strategy/advice.

it’s not a mid liufe crisis i promise……

where's that chinny reckon pic when you need it 🙂

no,no, this one is really speshul etc.

That’s only six hours on clear roads

You would want to be pretty sure she was DTF before you set off.

If that's e.g. Canada, then it's a win win if you visit. My wife lived in Auckland for 2 years before we were married (we got engaged whilst she was still living there though, and I was in the UK). I had 2 great trips there, got to see her obvs but also did tours of N and S islands. Some special memories. As for the age thing, if you click then you click, there are lots of great relationships between older and younger partners, plus some bad ones, but you could say the same thing where the ages are similar.

The acceptable age difference formula is:
(your age / 2) + 7.

If she is this age or older then it's all fair. Under this age you are a bit tragic.

Yes, but what about you and Mia Farrow?

Hypocrite!

You would want to be pretty sure she was DTF before you set off.

David Taylforth?

On holiday in Thailand now this thread! You're in lust! No fool like and old fool but that's only another way of saying "oldenoughtoknowbetter ". I hope you're over 30 😉

David Taylforth?

Getting a lovelorn STWer to travel six thousand miles would be his finest troll ever.

I have two questions about this:

1. Have you met this person and know that they aren't a fat beardy Russian bloke?

2. Franksinatra does that rule apply if you are a female person? Or does the usual double standard apply?

Thanks

I find it hard to comprehend falling love with someone 6250 miles away. Sounds like lust to me.

Lust? You can't be properly sexually attracted to someone over the internet. You can however fall in love easily with the right person because all you can do is talk, and that's the basis of a sound relationship. If you talk long enough you know someone's right for you.

-

Not much help for the OP here yet!

I can't help either, but it made me remember the entertainment of this STW relationship thread:

https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/help-needed-getting-out-of-the-friend-zone/

Might help, might not. 🙂

Classic DTF 👌

I ❤️ DTF

I can see why a fella might fall for DTF, laughing you into bed and all that.

I thought 20% age gap was the accepted norm for stable relationships.
So when you are 30 its +/- 6years , 40 +/- 8 years , 50 +/- 10 years etc
As you grow older your range increases , I suppose you change less as well.

OK, you still beat me but I'm on 4702 miles, a 15 year age gap, and I'm totally in love. I'd have called bullshit if anyone had told me this a couple a years ago, but there it is. As long as you don't go bankrupt buying plane tickets or do anything stupid like getting married and leaving yourself open to having your assets claimed by someone who isn't what you thought they were, what's the problem? Grab happiness where you find it, be grateful for it, if it doesn't work out, be grateful for what you had.

We know how roughly how old the OP is so his young Thai bridde to be maybe is definitely young enough to be his daughter.

Still, whatever you feel comfortable with OP. It must have been quite a diving holiday. It's a cross cultural morality issue for me so I wouldn't go there in either sense. Young Thai brides are brought up by rural Chinese for a few thousand dollars and are easy picking for rich white men from around the the world. You can look at it from a positive point of view if you think they go to better lives or from a negaitive point of view if you think they are being ripped out of their culture and soiciety in a form of thinly disguised prostitution. All for you to meditate OP. Who am I to judge?

Loves a bitch, you fall in love, and she's ****s off to uni, but y'know eventually you might if you're lucky manage to end up in a cottage together...don't ask me BTW, I've no idea, but that **** for rich parents right?

Chase it, you only live once, and what's the worst that can happen?

You can’t be properly sexually attracted to someone over the internet.

ive been told by a friend that there’s quite a few websites where this is indeed possible.

‘Head of heals’? WTF? ‘Head over heels’ perhaps?

Where shall I ‘kin start? 😖

The acceptable age difference formula is:
(your age / 2) + 7.

That would make me at 47 and a 30yr old be ok. Whilst I can see the obvious short term possible physical positives (for me obvs) here she'd have to be a pretty odd 30 year old for it to work.

My cousins' ex husband got together with one of his daughter's best friends. Moved in and she has just had a baby with him. 47 and 23. And he'd have known her as as pre teen growing up with his daughter. No no no.

Wreckless Eric to the forum please!

what’s the worst that can happen?

He gets called out on a diving rescue and makes some disparaging comments about Elon Musk's submarine.

Not quite falling in love but I just got out of a comedy disaterous relationship about a month before Christmas.

Makes me cringe what a fool I was.

We were kinda seeing each other for about 2 months.

Met in the pub (first red flag there).
She likes a drink and so do I, we get on really well, met her friends, all OK.
Got a bit sexual! All OK so far..
Then the ghosting started.. Arrange to meet up, agreed then stood up.
Que apologies that she's out with work mates etc. When we'd already agreed to meet.

A drunken call saying she loved me.

Another big red flag but gave her the benefit of doubt again.

Had a candid conversation about things but the same pattern repeated.

I then saw she had gotten her nose periced randomly on Facebook, looked OK but her comment on social media was 'mid life crisis part 2'.

I can only assume I was mid life crisis part 1.

We then basically 'broke up' even though we weren't really together in the first place but dumb ass me had emotional investment by this point. She was cute and very charismatic.

A week or so after she turns up at my local drinking hole (looking for attention I guess)
I kinda ignore her but end up talking..

Just polite conversation.

Then she kept turning up randomly as she knew I go to this particular pub for an after work pint.
I got a bit ansy about the way she was and suggested there's plenty of other pubs she can go to without bothering me (this is in a city so there's no reason to keep bothering me).
She told me to grow up and blocked me on social media. OK whatever.

Anyway, she was basically a sociopath.

I should know better as I'm in my 40s, so it wasn't a pleasant experience.

TLDR: I should be old enough to spot this crap but put up with it as my eyes got all starry.

Foot note: she wasn't even called Louise!

makes some disparaging comments about Elon Musk’s submarine.

I heard it was only a mini-sub, if you know what I mean.

2. Franksinatra does that rule apply if you are a female person? Or does the usual double standard apply?

The rule works irrespective of gender.

A former colleague is a good 25 years older than his second wife - two kids from his first marriage in their 30s and two kids just starting secondary school.

A friend of MrsMC was 45 when she married a guy in his early 70s. They'd known each other for years, and they are great for each other. But every time we meet up I have to fight the urge to go all Mrs Merton and ask her what first attracted her to the millionaire philanthropist 😄

Where shall I ‘kin start? 😖

Listen to Houns he knows.

You're not Prince Andrew are you?

convert
...My cousins’ ex husband got together with one of his daughter’s best friends. Moved in and she has just had a baby with him. 47 and 23. And he’d have known her as as pre teen growing up with his daughter. No no no.

One of my friends ended up married to a friend of his daughter. She was the one who did the running. It worked ok for about 10 years. She wasn't after his money but I think she eventually outgrew his acid tongue as he settled in elderliness.

This thread (thinly veiled cry for help or validation) needs more info. If this is somebody you met over the internet then I don't think you need us to tell you what is going on there. If you are in love with a local person you met in Thailand, then yes perhaps it isn't a scam to fleece money from a naive and easily flattered European tourist, and you aren't one of many boyfriends. If you met a fellow tourist who happens to live many miles away with whom you feel you made a connection, then good luck to you!

Only time will tell.

Come one then! Is this a falling in love over the Internet story or what??
If it is, someone needs to do some TV binging - http://www.mtv.com/shows/catfish-the-tv-show

Not to say you're being Catfished, but just to show how you simply can't "fall in love" with someone you haven't spent a decent amount of time with.

Can i just say thanks, this thread has cheered me up enourmously! 🙂

BTW, i'm 45, she's 28, and no, it's not an "Internet" thing, we spent 12 days together, hit it off from the moment we met, you know, the thing where you find yourself just looking into each others eyes for a long time after you've been talking and that NOT being weird, where the silences are comfortable, not awkward..... lol!

One of my grandfather’s brothers (big Irish family with 13 siblings) married one of his nieces. Had to go over to the US to do it as one state allowed it. That caused some conflict in the family!

OK, this doesn't sound so bad - but are really sure she's not David Taylforth?

I am a bit disappointed now (I really must get a life) I was looking forward to the bit where it turns out she has a willy/needs money for her mother's operation etc

There's plenty of time Hels.  Mrs K watches a US program called "90 Day Fiance" - you'd be amazed at peoples patience an determination.

But anyway, good luck OP, but of course we need pictures or it didn't happen...  😀

I fell in love with someone after a few days. It was a holiday romance. He's younger than me.
We lived in completely different places.

So much against the relationship........

I fell in love with someone after a few days. It was a holiday romance. He’s younger than me.
We lived in completely different places.

So much against the relationship……..

Sigh... all that's missing is a pet rat 🙂

The acceptable age difference formula is:
(your age / 2) + 7.

Note: this is the "acceptable" formula in that you won't be outed as some sort of lecherous old fool.

It's not a recipe for happiness...

BTW, i’m 45, she’s 28, and no, it’s not an “Internet” thing,

45/2 = 22.5

+ 7 = 29.5

She's too young for you, you lecherous old fool. 😛

Do you think she's at home telling her friends that the diving holiday was great, apart from this weird old guy who kept staring into her eyes all the time?

I have some "long distance relationship" experience, she was in the US. This would have been in the late 90s.

My advice, it is sustainable for a period of time but will ultimately get to you. If one of the other isn't planning to move for you to be with each other in like the next two years then break it off now.

There are many fine women in this world and not all of them are on the other side of the planet.

It must have been quite a diving holiday.

Was it here?

https://www.muffdivingclub.ie/

A few years ago I was in a similar position although ultimately things didn’t work out for us. I’d heed Cougars advice regarding long term plans as long distance is a pain.

I hope things work out better for you than they did for me.

I learnt back in the noughties not to date anyone more than 30 minutes drive away.

That also meant no dating anyone from Essex as it involves going through the Dartford Tunnel.

That not only adds time but crucially, money for the tolls.

Keep it local.

My wife says that South East Asian women stay looking under 30 until they hit 55 and then suddenly fall apart and look 75 😀

My wife’s only 3 years younger at 28, but I still get dodgey looks and she still gets ID’d.

So you will likely get more shit than I do in Britain.

One of my mates fell in love with a Thai girl who ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY WASN'T A CALL GIRL.

It was quite sad really, 'Holiday Romance' but they spoke a couple of times a day via WhatsApp video calls, he called it off finally when he found someone slightly more local (still a 4 hour drive away) but she kept calling like nothing happened, he thought it was because she was in denial, I'm fairly certain it was because he was one of many Western Sugar Daddies and she simply forgot about the 'break up'.

It's all done and dusted now, but it was quite hard to listen to someone you love like a Brother telling you how it's "not like it sounds" when, it more than likely was.

rTed C
Wreckless Eric to the forum please!

top quote here.

A few years ago we were at work talking about relationships and totally deadpan I related the following story:

"When I was a young boy my mother said to me there's only one girl in the world for you and she probably lives in Tahiti"

Many of my team were astounded and thought my old mum was being cruel (well, she can be). No one knew the lyric.

Actually there is a good chance it wasn’t like it sounded, Thailand has a rapidly expanding educated middle class - as does my wife’s country the Philippines.

I met my missus at university - but her friends that she knows with foreign boyfriends are together with lads their age with no money.

There are a bazillion reasons why multiracial couples get together, not just money - my wife’s parents had a ****ing Imelda Marcos style mansion when I visited.

I get tired of having to explain that to ****s who think that Britain is the centre of the universe.

Oh, shes not Thai, she's from Oklahoma.......

(and the main issue is that she's basically Moana (from the film of the same name) ie she's always looking towards the thin line where the Sea meets the Sky, home for her, is NOT where her heart is...... )

The acceptable age difference formula is:
(your age / 2) + 7.

That is true unless you are on tour when it's (your age / 2) + 5.

OP deffo appears to be on tour and so the maths now work for him altho he probably needs to watch Shirley Valentine

.

Oh, shes not Thai, she’s from Oklahoma…….

Hahaha.

Classic.

That’s this forum for you man.

and the main issue is that she’s basically Moana

Crikey in which case go for it.  I fell in love with Pocahontas when she first appeared in the movie, and if I met her in real life would definitely be interested in a relationship.

Be a tough decision between her and Jessica Rabbit though.

she’s from Oklahoma…….

Only one day away from your arms?

Forgot the rather sad tale of a family friend who went backpacking in the Balkans not long after the war in the 90s, and came back with a Russian bride.

The day she qualified for British citizenship he came home from work to a house stripped of all the furniture and a couple of policemen wanting to question him about alleged domestic violence.

On a more positive note, I know someone who got married last year to a New Yorker she met via mutual Facebook friends - they met properly when she was over there seeing relatives, and had a transatlantic relationship for a few years.

and the main issue is that she’s basically Moana

and the main issue is that she’s basically a Moana

Most of them are....mostly about snoring and not taking the bins out.

An American ! When you announced her age I thought 'that's not "wrong"', now I understand just how "wrong" it is. 😉

Rather you than me, in terms of unsexy accents American is only second to Australian. But ignore me and have fun with your Disney princess.

Rather you than me, in terms of unsexy accents American is only second to Australian.

Clearly you've never been to Birmingham

Clearly you’ve never been to Birmingham

I was born there. :-/

Ah, it's so nice to see the STW shoulder is still such a cold and hard place to cry on!

I was born there. :-/

You have my deepest sympathies.

Oh, shes not Thai, she’s from Oklahoma…….

Does that mean you should be the one calling her for money 'for your sick mum'?