[Closed] Fairy Lights - Questions:

I do feel like most lights come with 10 settings, 8 of which are like you've got the emergency services in your front room.

Agreed!

I use Amazon chinese remote control leds (we have them on the windows and fireplace all year!) Powering up on remote control, they said at at the last program you used.

Yeah I wish they'd remember the last setting, particularly as ours are on timers. Keep expecting to find the guinea pigs having had seizures (kids put lights around the hutch, alright it was me but the kids approved).

This has just come up at the right time as the M-i-L has just phoned me to ask how she can change the pattern on the ones on her tree as its giving her a headache 😀

1) Does anyone use the “Flash Like A Bastard” mode?

Yes, my neighbour. Directly opposite. Even with the curtains shut it seems like a fire engine is parked outside....every day, all day, since November 28th.

ditto piano, my neighbour is an electrician and every year has his ott lights in 'santa on speed' mode pointing at our windows. And don't get me started on his security lights...

We have old skool twinkling filament lights, they're LOVELY but if somei goes wrong, they take a while to fix (Reader, I fixed them).

My theory is that the "fairy light factory" uses the same 'chips' as the marital aids manufacturers. (and folk a prone to chosing their favourite program ) 😉

Yep, usually only two useable settings, on and slow fade. The rest are insane.

Had to hunt out 'retro' lights this year as it seems all modern ones are like being in the front row at a Jean Michel Jarre concert.

I bought some, 100 plain white bulbs, steady on only from Dunelm. It's calmed me down not having to cycle through all the other settings a few times to get them steady.

Thank you for starting this thread - was beginning to think it was just me.

I’ve got some around the kitchen window which have recently been replaced by another set from around a front window after the wires perished at the plug - I reckon both sets were/are at least ten years old, and they don’t flash. We have got some new ones, a sort of blue/green colour, which have a switch on the plug, and if they are set to steady on, and the plug pulled out of the extension lead they stay set on steady. Thankfully.
The woman who lives opposite has like cascades oh lights in the front window, that practically strobe! I can only think she spends all her time in the back room, ‘cos I’d have a seizure with those going all the time! And I’m not even prone to seizures.
The worst ones are a vivid deep blue, I think they radiate UV light, and flashing ones will practically trigger a migraine. Actually any flashing ones will do that, horrid things.

Bloke near us, well known for having "amusing" lights, this year has "HO HO HOAX" spelt out in fairy lights across the front of his house. Previous years have been various swear words, think there was a cock and balls one year. It's funny. Oh no... no, it's not.

It would be possible to make a couple more useful modes, yet all manufacturers choose 8 useless 2 ok.
For example: I'd like a mode where one light at a time came on in sequence, so it looked a bit like a mexican wave.

The modes are limited as most likes have 2 or 3 sets of bulbs in series...so every 3rd light repeats so you couldn't have a proper chase/wave.

My bog standard lights all remember their last setting which is good for timers. However we got a new set for the tree this year, and after about the 3rd evening I casually pointed out to my wife that when the orange and red lights are on, there is a random green bulb peeking out from behind a branch. I had a hunch I'd find a random orange one in the green and blue phase, wife thought I was bonkers, but I was correct, its hiding around the back. It now annoys her constantly 🙂

If you don't like the standard ones then program your own

See also bike lights...

A 1000lumen light does not need a flashing mode.