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This is probably the toughest thing I’ve had to write.
I’ve just been diagnosed with brain cancer. All of the details are still a blur, when, how bad, and all of the ramifications. I need to write this down whilst The Wife is out otherwise I won’t managed it.
But **** CANCER. I’ve got a life to live, I’ve got things I need to do.
In the meantime, and I whilst I can, I need to ride my bike with as many of you lovely people as I can. I need to go on adventures. I need to swim in the sea, drink perfect beer and eat superb food. Most of all I need you all to joke, make me laugh, argue with me about tyre choices, and generally be beautiful people.
Also, **** CANCER.
* I need some socks and t-shirts to raise some money and to say **** CANCER.
** Sorry / not sorry.
Not got the words, or have the knowledge but it isn't over until it is over.
There are treatments and trials around should you choose to go that way with it.
KBO, and make the most of the time you have.
Oh and post on here as much as you need to
No words, But Fk Cancer. Virtual manhug from a stranger.
Vent all you like.
Time to write a bucket list of things you want to do before your not able to.
Then get a move on and start ticking them off .
Life sometimes kicks you in the nuts . Getting up and getting on afterwards is hard but gotta be done
Not really got the words either, but...wishing you strength, courage and sunny days. If i'm in your area, i'll endeavour to ride a bike with you.
Forking shirtballs - time for a new bike? 🙂
Big hug!
Nothing to say but ****.
F*** cancer indeed!
Having seen it up close recently I know how hard it is, well I don't cos it isn't me. I've seen how its affected my sisters life and how hard it is for her son and husband. But I've also seen how strong it makes people, and how the love comes out. Get out and live.
Big hugs.
Oh and...
drink perfect beer
If you find it, post up here what and where it is.
Shit.
It's a ****ing shit disease, sorry about your news 🙁
Sorry that is shit 🙁
Use this forum to vent, ask stupid stuff, go for rides with random strangers. There are some amazing folk on here.
Do you what you need to do while you can, try not to shut loved ones out.
Hard to hear, and maybe too raw at the moment, but plan your final days to the best of your ability. One of my family members didnt, and they probably didnt get the supported final few weeks they could have done if they had planned their palliative care well with all the brilliant support structures that are in place for when its needed.
Best wishes to you and your loved ones. Did anyone come with you when you got the diagnosis? If not, I'd ask for a summary letter or a further meeting
I'm available for mildly inspiring rides in the new forest area at pretty much the drop of a hat. Adequate beer a strong possibility; edible food likewise. Sea-swimming? Well, I'll watch your clothes for you*
* or steal 'em if adventure is really what you're after 🙈
Forking shirtballs – time for a new bike? 🙂
...even better on a buy-now / pay-later deal! 🙂
#f*ckcancer
3rd for new bike time!
Live for now - and the perfect beer is harviston Bitter and Twisted
Get your arse up to Scotland and I'll ride a bike with you
Dammit. Nothing I can really add to this thread other than an internet hug and agreement that cancer can **** RIGHT OFF.
Live for now – and the perfect beer is harviston Bitter and Twisted
Half of this statement is correct, the other half is bollocks.
Get your arse up to Scotland and I’ll ride a bike with you
If you stop off in the Peaks on the way there or back, so will I.
Can't offer much, except more manhugs, you can have those. Hope it helps a little
Sorry to hear this bigblackshed. Another ****cancer from me.
Mate, I saw your original post, tried to think of something helpful to say and failed.
But now other people have replied, I can say F888 Cancer, that's really shit. But there's a long way to go yet, don't let it think it can win!
And obviously the STW forum is here for you to vent/ listen/ talk nonsense/ post pointless stuff/ etc
Nothing I can possibly say other than fight it as long as you can.
Indeed, **** Cancer
Where are you based Bigblackshed?
I can see a group ride coming on?
****cancer
Yep **** cancer!
So sorry to hear this, I really hope you nail as many of these adventures as you can and that your prognosis is better than you fear. Look after yourself. **** cancer!
**** cancer indeed.
North west of England, will ride for smiles.
On a positive note the leaps in medicine around cancer are amazing. Inhibitors have given my mum her life back after a really horrendous prognosis. She's still here 5years on, having heart treatment because she has reacted so well to the medication. I hope you can find similar treatment.
And cancer can still get to ****.
Stage 4 prostate cancer here. Spread to lymph nodes and incurable. I'm nearly two years past diagnosis.
I know nothing about brain cancer but plenty about living with this shit. PM me any time if you want a chat, bike ride, vent, etc.
**** cancer
Cancer sucks balls. It’s a cruel disease with no discrimination. Make sure you have people to talk to, and take someone along with you to the consultant so they can listen to the detail and ask questions, it’ll almost certainly be too much for you to digest.
And have hope in treatment. My mum is stage 4 peritoneal cancer but the inhibitors are keeping her steady for now 18 months on from what we thought might be six months at most.
stanley
Full Member
Stage 4 prostate cancer here. Spread to lymph nodes and incurable. I’m nearly two years past diagnosis.
Holy f***!
Sending out strength, beers, and hopefully some positive mental spirit to you and everyone currently dealing with the f'er that is cancer
🎗️
While you are doing a UK road trip come to the South West and I’ll show you round the Quantocks if you don’t know the way , as for tyre choices they are all rubbery 👍👍👍👍
Bollocks.
**** Cancer.
Hugs.
Really wish I had something to say other than **** cancer. If a group ride is on the cards I’m up for it. Love to you and yours.
Sorry to hear that. Stay strong.
Don't give up as medical advances can still provide solution.
My sister is recovering from Stage 4 colon cancer (currently in hospital recovering from some complication and a second operation 3 days ago. I am supporting her and everyone in my family)
Dude, thats shit but come out fighting.
Im in N Wales and we have the sea and bikie riding and some lovely micro breweries.
Get a new bike or just bring your old one.
Come and ride with a stranger
Ian
Im half cut but:you perhaps remember my story. My partner died of cancer and i have been recovering since
Two bits of advice. Say yes to everything. Its all about you now. Following those two things has taken me to weird and wonderful places
Meeting random stwers while riding around on my bike has been great. Some highly memorable events. Go for that big bike ride and meet folk.
On a more practical level please feel free to contact me. I have both professional and personal experience that may help
First off, not all brain cancer are equal. Peole can and do survive it. Have a cry and a bit of a scream (I sent off like a bloody Werewolf at one point) then put on a good escapist movie or some good music.
The people on here are awesome as you know and we are here for you.
Now.
Most of all I need you all to joke,
If at any point you need a blood transfusion just let know.
(In joke for us cancer boys, ya dig?😉)
Also, attempting to grow a second brain isn't even a humble brag!
Now, again.
For the moment just one for in front of the other mate. That's all you can do, so embrace it. We are here.
Yep cancer can totally do one. If you fancy a ride round the east of the Peak District shout out. Although it may be a bit mincy if you're a STW riding god, but the views and beers are good.
Crap news and big man hugs to you, and like all the others have said, there may be things that can be done.
Make sure you take someone else with you to other appointments, write things down, ask the stupid questions as you need to. Find out what their usual process is and keep asking them to go faster, get on to lists for trials, stay positive and give it hell.
Get on with those things you want or need to do, make those rides happen and do stuff with family and friends that will create incredible memories for all involved.
Speak to Macmillan and get support from them in terms of information, financial planning and advice, things to help the family etc. Do you have any form of illness cover through work or some insurance policy?
Keep fighting, **** cancer!
**** cancer
My mate had lung cancer which spread to his brain. A combination of treatments including immunotherapy cleared the lung cancer. They removed his brain tumour and he's been fine for a year. I wish you all the best.
Shite.
Like others, don't really know what to say other than when the shit hits the fan, you can be sure to be able to lean hard here. And please do.
Wife had a brain tumour removed in Jan (secondary breast cancer) and then radiotherapy. Currently recovering and hopefully cancer free for now. F*** CANCER!
Shit!
Let us know where in the country you are. And virtual hugs to you and everyone else affected by this nasty disease.
Bugger, No words other than **** Cancer.
Stay strong.
Ahhh ffs man, that sucks balls in a spectacularly shite way. Happy to rock up for a ride/chat/rant at the world amytime you need. Feel free to message me any time old chap
Having lost my mum to a brain tumor almost 40 years ago I will happily join you to say f*** cancer. Back then diagnosis and treatment were very much more primitive than they are now and even with a late diagnosis and crude treatment mum had a couple of good years before it finally took her. 40 years of progress and research, keep telling yourself that. Be strong, use all the support you can find. And keep us updated on here. There is MTBing a plenty from the doorstep here and a hut to stay in if you want to ride in the Black Mountains, just drop me a pm.
Just to echo @welshfarmer, progress should give you many years more. My mum had a brain-stem cancer and survived 18 years from diagnosis, dying in 2000 on her terms.
Good luck and keep on keeping on.
Yup, utterly horrible disease.
One sort of positive thing I can say though is that this forum......for all it's many faults 🙂 ......will be here to help in any way we can. You need only ask.
Last thing is want is to derail the OPs thread with my own story, but yes, **** cancer Indeed.
I got the consultant affirmation today that I was expecting, and have thought about from day one, but didn't want to hear.
It's no longer a small 'if' but a very large 'when'.
I've no great advice other than listen to your body and any 'hunch' you have. Each time the cancer has returned, I've 'known' before the scan has confirmed it...but being one of life's great pessimists probably helps there!!
Make the most of time with friends. The support we've had over the last year and a half has been staggering and often talking with friends is surprisingly easier than family. I've found I've been able to very open and frank, but with a bit less emotional charge than close family.
No matter what the outcome, it's a massively horrible ride and even with the best of hospitals you'll grow to hate the constant monitoring, blood tests and the bloody boredom.
And get the best noise cancelling headphones you can afford...get them now!!
Wishing you all the best
Aaah **** off cancer. Just **** off.
Very sorry to hear that mate. I'm shocked at how many on here are currently battling the big C or have family members effected.
I wish you all the best with the treatment you'll be receiving.
Cheers Poopscoop.
I know a bike forum isn't then obvious place but maybe a cancer support sticky thread is appropriate.
There's of course great resources with Macmillan and 100 Facebook groups, but they're often dominated by individuals or specific issues, when sometimes just a place so say "well this is shit" with (mostly!) like minded strangers!
jimfrandisco
Free Member
Cheers Poopscoop.I know a bike forum isn’t then obvious place but maybe a cancer support sticky thread is appropriate.
Might not be a bad idea. This place never ceased to amaze me, there's no other place like it imo.
Sorry to hear your sad news, I'll join the choruses of F*** cancer, and also add the offer of rides and beers in East Sussex if you ever find yourself in this neck of the woods.
So sorry to hear your sad news.
As a family we came to the end of a three and half year journey with my wife before Christmas.
Myself and the kids were by her side the whole time and she adopted a new **** it let’s do it attitude. We stopped finding excuses not to do things and she didn’t let the disease or treatment define her. Even after chemo she would drag herself to watch the girls play netball or race bikes.
At the final meeting at the hospital the main consultant turned and thanked my wife for teaching him what a positive attitude and sheer determination can do. He gave her 6 weeks originally and she did over 3 years. In the end she would turn to the doctors and say I don’t believe you.
All I can say is find the reason to do something, surround yourself with family and good friends, give yourself a break sometimes and try and not linger on the ifs or buts which you have no control over. Deal with what’s in front of you and embrace help that is offered.
Good luck in your journey and if you fancy a ride in the south west with a now very unfit bloke give me a shout. A short ride to the pub or cafe suits best at the moment.
Most definitely F*&* CANCER
We have a bed and a rather large dog that likes to cuddle up on the sofa. More importantly we also have miles of quite flat off-road cycling which is important if you're slightly unfit and older (me) or dealing with cancer stuff (you).
Anyone need a break from the norm message me and we'll set it up.
(There's also some reasonable wine, beer, coffee, cake and cookery).
It's a kind, warm, welcoming place in here.
Out of hospital a couple of days now and adjusting to a new round of drugs, which means sleeping all day and then feeling normalish late afternoon, which is very welcome.
I don't think there's much riding on the horizon, but even a drive out in the woods yesterday was a very welcome break.
It's crushing each and every time you picture something you may never do again, but that pales against any thing connected to the kids and knowing I'll not be in their lives. That's devastating.
The word surreal is usually over used, but for me it really is impossible to get my head around as I don't feel ill enough for any of it.
That is shit indeed Jim. Best wishes to you, and to bigblackshed.
So sorry to hear that OP - same for those others touched by this b4astard of a disease.
As has been said over & over, find things to do, spend time with those you love & keep on making memories. I'm coming up to the 4th anniversary of a stage 4 metastatic melanoma diagnosis & from the very beginning of my journey I always had in my head "What would Bullheart do?" I'm one of the lucky ones, a few bits removed & a year of immunotherapy now means I'm a NED (No Evidence of Disease) - it'll never be gone but I've won this round.
Some of the side effects of my treatment have prevented me from much riding but I'm getting there (slowly) but I've done as much living as I could throughout.
At least we're all agreed - f2*k cancer.
If you need to vent this place will always be full of people that will listen, agree, laugh & take the p155.
Sadly I know too much about this and it shapes me and what I do and yes truly F*** cancer.
What I have seen if that the people that fight it tooth and nail do better, and it is not necessarily a killer as many can and do survive with interventions but brain tumours are particularly tricky to deal with (blood brain barrier etcetera) but there are some fabulously good organisations out there doing bloody good work, research and huge steps forward.
The one I support (in oh so many ways) in Brain Tumour Research and they have rafts of good info and great people as well as 4 research centres across the UK etcetera.
From a complete random forum dweller I wish you the very best of luck and if a chat with a random person might help drop me a message (IT gods be willing it works) and I will make time.
I am currently getting very close to heading off for an epic 6 day ride to raise more funds for them, I am that committed to it.
James
So sorry to hear this. But live your life and do the special things. Do it without regret.
The whole point is IT'S SHIT BUT DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!
Got a acquaintance who was diagnosed with exactly this about two years ago and is still going though. He is special kind of person (as are you) in his single mindedness. He was extremely fit, positive about everything etc etc. He was even told off for riding his bike to get his chemo!
He did a lot of research and has gone to Germany to get extra treatment when the NHS gave up. There are obviously so many variables between cases but he is an example of positive survival. He gave up alcohol, carbs, got into fasting and slept in a hyperbaric chamber (which friends helped purchase). All seem to have helped and he's still riding with the fast groups he dominated for years. Mind you it's on a e-bike now but he's still doing the things he loves with the people he loves.
Where are you? PM me if you want me to ask him to chat to you about his experience.
@bigblacksheep
You talk about socks etc to raise money. How about some stem caps?
I had some made for all our bikes by Unite that simply said F&^K Cancer. They just made us smile while on the bikes and felt personal.
If there are enough people I am sure we could get a good price then add a bit for charity.
Happy to organise if anyone is interested!
Other thing would be frame stickers.
Please be careful about the " positive mental attitude" stuff. Its saying in effect that those like my other half who died of cancer did not want to live enough
I'm with TJ on this.
It's a battle but the body is the battlefield and all that one can hope for is that the medical forces and one's physical fitness that are fighting the beast are stronger than the beast.
All one can do is live as much life as possible while things play out and if one's lucky one gets to live another day/month/year/10years or more. Sometimes the luck is not there and it all goes to rat poo, no blame or fault lies in the cards that are dealt.
For some folk its something to hold onto and that is good but just be wary of using it as a generalisation please
**UPDATE**
First up I’d like to say a huge thank you for all of your words of support. I’ve had a rollercoaster of a time these last 5 weeks.
A long story short. I was admitted with a suspected stroke, I’d lost all ability to communicate any coherent thoughts and words, wasn’t able to speak, total confusion about what was happening to me. Physically I was fine, except for being wobbly on my feet and dizzy headed. I’ve spent too long inside CT and MRI scanners, had every man and his dog take chunks of me away for testing.
A significant growth was found on my left occipital lobe, surrounded by fluids. My case was referred to a specialist team at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham. Very slow response, followed by a diagnosis of a stroke. Meanwhile I’d had a confirmation of “its cancer.”
Bloods and biopsies confirmed. The teams from QE and Hereford have argued about what to do for the last 3 weeks. Yet more tests, scans, etc. Both teams adamant that their diagnosis is correct.
Results from more invasive tests yesterday, cannot find any trace of either the growth or cancer. It’s simply not there! No sign of it.
I’ve got yet more tests later today to check again. It’s taken nearly a day for that to sink in. I’ve been on some brutal medication, with the side effects, at times, being worse than the initial symptoms.
But nobody can find any trace of cancer. I’m cautiously calling it.
Thank you.
Dear gods! That sounds like the worst possible rollercoaster for you! I don’t really have the words to say anything other than I have fingers crossed for you. All of the fingers.
Fingers crossed for you.
Here's hoping that you're free and clear.
Wow, I'm sorry for what you've been through to get here but that sounds really positive.
Wow, good outcome (it seems) but bloody hell that sounds like an awful trip to get there.
Fingers crossed it all gets figured out and your treatment (for whatever it is) let's you get back out doing stuff fast
Fingers crossed for you - hoping it's a positive outcome despite the rollercoaster you're on.
'king hell. Wondered what was going on as you'd not been back on this thread.
Sounds like an enquiry is in order to understand why the misdiagnosis happened. Hope things straighten out for you
My god, what a ride.
What beats me up about cancer is those who've had their final diagnosis - I don't know how that can be lived with. You've now lived it and I guess an extreme rare case of coming through that diagnosis in tact. Can't imagine how that feels.
Another friend has just had the final diagnosis, it's the first thing on my mind waking at night and morning. I just don't know how I'd cope but at the same, with a strong family history I think it bothers me so much as the strong chance it will one day be me (not to be the martyr).
**** cancer. @dcl I'm up for a couple of those stem caps.