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...Wife is so stressed with the situation.
New rescue dog arrived in April and since then we have tried everything for the cat and dog to tolerate each other.
The dog just wants to be friends with the cat, the cat has no interest in being friendly or even being in the same room.
Cat lives upstairs and occasionally goes out but can't access the cat flap for fear of the dog.
Tried the plug in stuff with the cat - makes no difference,
To add the cat hates other cats as well, she keeps weeing on toys, beds etc as she is clearly distressed.
Its not fair for her to live like this she deserves to be happy and come and go without fear.
Shes still really loving as sleeps on beds wakes us up in the morning my oldest son addores her, youngest couldnt give two hoots about her.
What to do ! Wife is getting so stressed -which in turn brings other stresses/anxieties in.
Ideally want to keep her, it feels wrong to get rid of her also showing the children a bad example...
....Just doesn't sit right !
Ahhhhh and breath !
How come the cat has to go? Cat was there first....
Dog has to go.
Wife has to go
Wife takes dog with her.
Hardly fair is it? Last in, first out surely?
Give the cat to someone you know,that way the son can visit.
you could go ?
Cat might well go of own accord.
Why does the cat have to go? Did it behave like this before the arrival of the dog? I think maybe you need to take a long hard look at yourself...
Kids and wife to go, cat moves next door, your mum has the dog.
You are left with the bikes and fridge full of food.
Winner winner, ice cream filler.
footflaps - Member
How come the cat has to go? Cat was there first....
Had this conversation - will get far more out of dog ownership than cat ownership...
More experiences with the dog etc holidays
Coyote - Member
Why does the cat have to go? Did it behave like this before the arrival of the dog? I think maybe you need to take a long hard look at yourself
It was fine before dog arrived (still hated other cats)
I think maybe you need to take a long hard look at yourself
Why ?
Rob Hilton - Member
Cat might well go of own accord.
Comes back - likes the food !
Not fair on the cat, poor sod.
Son moves to Legoland. Takes cat.
Poor cat.
get a new pet and throw the old one out, hardly fair. Dog needs to go, that's what's caused the issue.
Had this conversation - will get far more out of dog ownership than cat ownership...
That's harsh, maybe you shouldn't have pets if you get bored of them easily.
Is that flooded house anywhere near you, dog and wife could live there. Your wife not the guys wife that lived in the house.
Had this conversation - will get far more out of dog ownership than cat ownership...More experiences with the dog etc holidays
Ah, hence the guilt.
You've upgraded from a cat to a dog and are trying to justify it because "the cat isn't happy".
That's stone cold. You might as well buy a sack and work out where the nearest river is yourself.
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Cat/dog needs to go live on a 'farm' 🙄
Gary_M - Member
get a new pet and throw the old one out, hardly fair. Dog needs to go, that's what's caused the issue.
Bit harsh !
Asking for advice !
Run it through a Catalytic converter.
Ah, hence the guilt.You've upgraded from a cat to a dog and are trying to justify it because "the cat isn't happy".
That's stone cold. You might as well buy a sack and work out where the nearest river is yourself.
Not at all !
Cat/dog needs to go live on a 'farm'
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I've got a feline that the OP isn't looking for puns right now.Run it through a Catalytic converter.
RM.
Ask not what your pet gives you but what you can give your pet..
Having been up to four dogs and three cats at one stage I'd say leave em to it and they'll sort themselves out in the end, ours get on fine now after some initial shenanigans,
In fact we're now in the position that the staffie thinks he's a poodle, the poodles think they're Siamese cats,
And the cat thinks he's god..
All good in the end though..
I had this same situation, so I picked up an old bit of drainpipe from the tip, lined it with carpet for grip and attached it to upstairs window sill---> garden fence
Cat comes and goes when ever he likes, is now much less stressed
feed the dog to the cat
walla24 - Member
I had this same situation, so I picked up an old bit of drainpipe from the tip, lined it with carpet for grip and attached it to upstairs window sill---> garden fence
Cat comes and goes when ever he likes, is now much less stressed
Like - send a picture ?
Just let 'em fight it out.
Go on holiday with the winner.
Put this on the outside wall..
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Play this while they're fighting..
Have you tried dating?. Some soft lighting, moody tunes, dinner for two, (tuna, can't fail). If not rohypnol the cat so it wakes up in an inappropriate position with the dog. They get on, married , have a catdog child...win win. Problem solved.
So...you introduced a predator into a formerly happy cat's home and are now upset that it's miserable and has to go and continue a worse life elsewhere?
😯
monkeysfeet - Member
Have you tried dating?. Some soft lighting, moody tunes, dinner for two, (tuna, can't fail). If not rohypnol the cat so it wakes up in an inappropriate position with the dog. They get on, married , have a catdog child...win win. Problem solved.
I'll get a tin of John West on the way home !
oafishb - Member
So...you introduced a predator into a formerly happy cat's home and are now upset that it's miserable and has to go and continue a worse life elsewhere?
Er no ! It would be happier in dog free zone !
Been in a similar situation with our cat. Except ours got stressed with the arrival of kids. We moved house about 5 years ago thinking that the cat didn't have much longer left. she's now 19 years old and can hardly walk, costs us a fortune in special food and still shits on the floor in the kitchen!
Fortunately since she became deaf she's chilled out loads and actually sits with the kids.
I've wanted rid of her loads of times but we bought her years ago so have to see it through. At 19 she can't have long left now.....
Unless you can give the cat away to a nice home you should just suck it up and do you best to make the whole family get along, including the cat.
it's not pretty but he loves it!
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Yes dogs give you 'more' but cats give you something different- they choose to be near you not like dogs who are just obedient
If the cat came before the wife, kids or dog, then they get turfed in that order. Last in, first out.
Though I broke the rule.
Got the wife before the cat. Wife gone, cat stays.
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I have three siamese and a dog. Got dog about a year ago and two reluctantly tolerate him the other still absolutely cannot stand him. Dog obviously just wants to be friends but cats aren't interested.
If the situation were to to deteriorate to a point to where they couldn't exist together it would be the dog that would be gone in a second. It's not the cats fault that we moved a dog into their house and upset the balance.
Absolutely last in first out.
Can't believe the OP is even suggesting getting rid of the cat before the dog.
Absolutely last in first out.
+1
Cats are for life.
Can't believe the OP is even suggesting getting rid of the cat before the dog.
I'm looking for help/advice not to be judged !
Well that's told you.
What about creating a safe haven for the cat where the dog isn't allowed? Our cats hate the neighbour's screamy kids and will vanish to somewhere safe when the neighbour brings them round.
Get more dogs and more cats - then you won't know what the **** is going on!
globalti - Member
Well that's told you.What about creating a safe haven for the cat where the dog isn't allowed? Our cats hate the neighbour's screamy kids and will vanish to somewhere safe when the neighbour brings them round.
Dog cant get upstairs...
Rub catnip on the dog .
[i]I'm looking for help/advice not to be judged ! [/i]
...and the advice is to get rid of the dog. Surely you must have realised that bringing a dog into a cat's home is not really a great idea!?!?
Dog cant get upstairs...
I don't suppose the cat is 100% sure that the dog can't get upstairs though. Unless you've put a sign up of course, something like 'no dogs allowed beyond this point' for example.
Keva - Member
I'm looking for help/advice not to be judged !...and the advice is to get rid of the dog. Surely you must have realised that bringing a dog into a cat's home is not really a great idea!?!?
Didnt expect it to be this bad...
any local oriental resturants in the area?
Cats are solitary predators who in no way actually give a **** about you. They dont care who feeds them as long as they get fed.
My dog on the other hand, bursts through the bedroom door in the morning if it can.... jumps in the bed and spoons you with its head on the pillow.... because its a pack animal that has an evolutionary imperative to care about others in the group.
**** the cat. If it was bigger than you it would crack your skull open with its jaws whilst you slept. Do your local songbirds a favour and launch it into low earth orbit.
#edit. CBA. I suspect you've already made your mind up and are just seeking validation rather than advice.
You might as well buy a sack and work out where the nearest river is yourself.
+1 😉
The cat would shit on your bed and move on to a better gig in a heartbeat, if the opportunity presented itself.
The dog, on the other hand will worship the ground you walk on for life.
Ditch the cat. Felines have no morals or conscience.
Ditch the cat. Felines have no morals or conscience
You mean like someone who kicks out an existing resident when a new one who doesn't fit in arrives?
Who would you trust to dig you out of a snowdrift?
That loyalty needs rewarding now.
If the dog is definitely cat friendly and won't jump on the cat have you tried shutting them in a room together. I had my cat 2 years before I got the dog. Cat was freaked and ran away every time so I shut us all in the sitting room and sat down to watch TV for the night instructing dog to ignore cat. Cat eventually realised dog not a threat and now will sleep together and cat cleans dogs ears.
Sometimes we have various friends dogs over and cat will disappear. If we are dog sitting a friends dog I repeat the locking in process so cat is forced to get to know the new dog is safe. It may seem cruel but it worked and is less cruel than shipping them off to a cats home. I've volunteered at rspca and it's sad how many cats are stuck in little pens there.
Lock them In a room and let them get on with it. Last one standing stays.
So...you introduced a predator into a formerly happy cat's home and are now upset that it's miserable and has to go and continue a worse life elsewhere?
I hate to break it to you, but cats are predators. More so than dogs as dogs have been domesticated way more. My cat used to bring me dead things as gifts, my last dog brought me my own shoes.
I hate to break it to you, but cats are predators. More so than dogs as dogs have been domesticated way more. My cat used to bring me dead things as gifts, my last dog brought me my own shoes.
Yes, but cats are also prey to larger predators, like dogs. Hence the problem, as the OP brought something that the cat considers is likely to eat it, into its territory.
And now the OP wants to get rid of the cat, because of reasons - shiny new dog.
I'm looking for help/advice not to be judged !
Are you new here?. 😉
Just dress the dog up in a catstume. Problem solved.
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Mice aren't to be found in homes these days so cats are redundant as they no longer serve a purpose. 😈
Hey OP, this is you.
Mice aren't to be found in homes these days so cats are redundant as they no longer serve a purpose.
Do you want to tell that to the mouse I caught last week? It doesn't appear to have got the memo.
Wife takes dog
Check!
Yes, but cats are also prey to larger predators, like dogs. Hence the problem, as the OP brought something that the cat considers is likely to eat it, into its territory
What breed is the new dog OP? That'll help us decide if your cat just needs to cat the **** up.
Family of four?
Eat the dog. Everyone gets a leg and there's plenty left over for sandwiches.
cinnamon_girl - Member
Mice aren't to be found in homes these days so cats are redundant as they no longer serve a purpose.
You're wrong.
They're funny. That's their purpose.
Do you want to tell that to the mouse I caught last week? It doesn't appear to have got the memo.
Keep it as a pet then, go on you know you want to. 🙂
You're wrong.They're funny. That's their purpose.
Reckon a dog is more entertaining!
We have two rescue cats taken on in very similar circumstances to what the OP describes. Previously we have had rescue dogs too (all passed away at ripe old ages in our care).
It was quite apparent after a few days that the cats did not give a flying toupee about the change of [s]owner[/s] slaves.
They do what cats do, they eat, sleep, play, fur up the furniture and kill the odd mouse mixed with an occasional show of affection to keep us on board and encourage us not to make them into cat-o-van.
A week of disruption while it settles into a new home vs. the current lifestyle for the cat I'd say is an ok trade off.
You may have made a mistake adding the dog but if something has to change then stick with what's right for you but also consider actually which animal might be more adaptable.
It sounds like one of the two has to go.
Therefore one of them is about to get disruption to its life. The dog has been through that more recently and may in fact suffer more depending on its previous rehoming history.
Neither animal chose the current position - you created it (no blame implied here just a statement of fact that you/the family chose to add the dog) so disrupting the dog's life on a last in first out basis isn't really logical although it is an understandable emotional reaction.
Fwiw, Cats Protection helped our cats' former owner and we were able to move from house to house without a cattery in between.
As an aside one of our two was known to have stress based UTIs, exacerbated by the dog. No signs of one of those six months later. Happier cat.
Cougar, are you like an actual cougar? As in a cat cougar? What with catching mice and stuff. I now cats are clever but moderating a MTB forum is pretty cool. What else can you do?
You mean like someone who kicks out an existing resident when a new one who doesn't fit in arrives?
Yes, they are clearly identical, apart from the guilt and seeking advice first, of course.
Oh, and the killing for fun, cats do that too. So in a way they're have more in common with us than dogs.
3 pages in, so...
You had a cat, life was cool...
Why did you get a dog as well?
Dab of Bisto on the tip...
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We got a german shepherd puppy last year then a year old rescue cat a few weeks later. Kept the cat separate from the dog (and outside) for a bit and had to introduce them them slowly, very slowly as it turns out.. Now they can be in the same room if someone's there, otherwise the dog's all over the cat and she only tolerates that for so long. It's taken a lot to get this far but it's what we had to do.
That cat is clearly anxious as you say and it's not really fur on the poor thing. Knowing the little I do about the situation I'd be erring on the last in-first out approach if you really feel they're not going to be able to coexist.
This pretty much has it covered.Tom_W1987**** the cat. If it was bigger than you it would crack your skull open with its jaws whilst you slept. Do your local songbirds a favour and launch it into low earth orbit.
Keep it as a pet then, go on you know you want to.
I thought about that, but it being motionless with a bloody great dent in its back put me off.
Cougar, are you like an actual cougar? As in a cat cougar? What with catching mice and stuff. I now cats are clever but moderating a MTB forum is pretty cool. What else can you do?
Typing is a bit tricky without opposable thumbs.
Typing is a bit tricky without opposable thumbs.
Expert at using a mouse though. 😉
I don't think it's fair on the dog to re-home it so soon after it found a new home. My advice would be to give the cat a way to exit and enter the house (the gutter thing, earlier) and you may find it becomes much happier. It may also go elsewhere, but that also solves your problem.
I don't think getting rid of either pet is a solution.
I don't think it's fair on the dog to re-home it so soon after it found a new home.
Sooner is better than later...