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SBrock, Go down the legal route. Worked for me, have loads of time with my boy (although its never enough) and now have a workable/amiable relationship with his mum..
Takes time, but worth it.
when my ex wanted to go abroad with my nipper i talked to a solicitor. i said she could go but wanted a legal agreement about them having internet access- times to chat, flight contributions etc. the ex decided against going abroad but it was nice to know the solicitor thought i had every right and would easily get these things granted if it came to court.
the law has changed some point in the last 10 years to favour male access especially if you have been a present and reasonable father figure to the child already. the courts are likly to favour you if you can show this.
a solicitor is the only way out of your mess. you need to let her know YOUR rights as a parent. do this in writing and be polite. dont get wound up. if she goes off on one dont get sucked in.
However you need to be 100% honest to your solicitor in every regard otherwise it will come out in the end (and look really bad on you) and the advice given wont be right.
Won't somebody think of the children?!
^ Indeed.
she needs her father regardless of what has gone on between you and her mother.
That's the first post in this whole sorry tale which even mentions what is best for the bairn. It might not be true (i.e. She might not need her father), but at least it mentions her needs!
Get over the battle with your Ex, and BOTH of you HONESTLY consider what is best for HER.
Clue - She's not a prize in this 'competition'
FFS!
Agree Dave but maybe the Mother thinks the 'bairn' really is better off without her biological Father.
Maybe one day the mother will meet a decent bloke who will be a father figure to the child.
After all, we aren't all better off for knowing our fathers. I had years of 'access' to my own Father and as soon as I was listened to I cut off all contact with him.
Sometimes 'what is best' isn't one of the parents in the equation. Again, we aren't party to the break up or what the Mother knows.
as soon as I was listened to I cut off all contact
So if we pretend to listen you'll flounce off?