[Closed] ever thought of suicide?

You dont think some one with those problems in their life would consider suicide?

Have I considered suicide, yes I have, I think its sad that peoples lives get that sh!t that they see it as the better option. Very brave thing to do too.

Very sad though

I haven't but like you I've experienced it. Worst bit was the guy seemed to me to be happy,always bouncy,chatty,positive and have everything he wanted in life. Walked down a field and blew his brains out with a shot gun leaving a wife and two teenage girls behind. Why ? He had no major money worries and a caring family who miss him every single day.

I think most people flirt with the idea at some point, I have never considered it seriously - although my ex-girlfriend nearly pulled it off.

btw it's "hanged" not hung

Very brave thing to do too

Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do.

i agree with sc-xc.
he was still seeing his daughter on a weekly basis.
imagine how the kid feels.

Yes, that's all i'm going to say, apart from those who think it's selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

maybe i am being a bit harsh saying it was selfish.
i just cant understand a bloke with kids, who he was still spending time with, wanting to do this.

No but otherwise what Houns said. I used to think it was selfish but I think I was being a bit of a cock.

I am with Houns on this one. I can see or understand why some people see it is a selfish act, but unless you have personally experienced severe and debilitating mental illness then you have no idea and you never will.

Knowing someone who suffers even if it is your spouse or children does not make you qualified to comment.

About six years ago everything was falling down around my ears, my business, my relationship, was about to be declared bankrupt to the tune of £130K and was riding my motorbike down the M6 and thought seriously about riding it flat out into a bridge stanchion.

Within five seconds I'd weighed it up and though the pain my children would have for the rest of their years would be more than the pain I had. 6 years on and I've come through bankruptcy, found the meaning of life and respect money better and still have my children.

I think suicide is a very cowardly way to shit out and leave others behind, however, after seeing my partners very brave mum fight cancer for 2 years and lose, I think I would take myself somewhere neutral and end it to save my loved ones from seeing the big bold happy go lucky me dwindling to a tube fed vegetable.

But each to their own.

It has never, ever entered my mind. That's not to say that there haven't been times I've been severely depressed, but I guess I've always been vaguely optimistic about life.

Edit: after having seen what my mother went through, the terminal illness scenario would likely change my mind.

A very good friend of mine also hung himself, I think his marriage was ending and he couldn't handle it, I was devastated and angry with him all rolled into one. He left a note in his house when his daughter came home telling her not to go into the garage. He left a daughter and a little boy. I would not of thought he was suicidal, but that's something you never can tell I suppose.

[i]ton - Member
maybe i am being a bit harsh saying it was selfish.
i just cant understand a bloke with kids, who he was still spending time with,[/i][b] wanting to do this.[/b]

I think here lies part of problem with people's understanding. People do not want to commit suicide, it is not a matter of choice, they simply feel they have ran out of options. When there are no options and choices left, but one ....

I threw myself off of a 250 foot cliff about 20 years ago..

and miraculously survived..

I had been out of touch with reality and in a very bad place emotionally and spiritually for months leading up to the event.. although no-one around me could have possibly imagined the extent of my troubles..
when you're [i]that[/i] low it's very hard to want to burden anyone with your sorrow.. and life becomes a living hell that is indescribably lonely.. not only that.. but every day is also a very real life or death war with a formidable and monstrously terrifying enemy that [i]always[/i] knows your next move.. yourself..

I wouldn't consider it again.. not least because I only realised the selfishness of my actions when I awoke in the ICU with my 14 year old brother at the foot of my bed.. greyfaced and shaking and sobbing..

that said it took an extraordinary amount of bravery to do what I did.. more than I thought I had.. ironically I [i]really [/i] had to call upon that bravery to see me through the consolidation process with family and friends and the pain I continued to suffer in the many years that followed before I could make peace with myself..

crazy shit man.. thankfully this all happened a long time ago..
I have a family of my own now and I'm a happy go lucky kind of bloke these days.. maybe a bit more thoughtful than before..

I couldn't imagine for a second allowing myself to get that lost and bewildered again..

Not experienced it first hand, but did a study on it. Based entirely on data from Scandinavia, it would appear that it's when people have been at rock bottom for a while and for some reason just start to feel a bit better that they commit suicide, as though at the depths of their mental anguish they couldn't drum up the energy to do it. This only held true for non-violent methods though.

Might sound a bit clinical and emotionless, but it was a very interesting study, and maybe points towards a need to keep an extra eye on those who have been down in the dumps and then start feeling just that little bit more chipper.

Friend of mine had serious mental issues recently. Several of his friends dropped him because, in the words of one, they were "too busy to deal with him" which further isolated him (luckily he's surrounded by family and some friends did stick around). During one of his downward spirals he's admitted that he was close to ending it just so he wouldn't be a burden on those who loved him. He didn't but it was a close thing by his account.

Can't see myself doing it, but I understand that there's times when people feel it's their only option and I guess the concept that normally quite reasonable people can reach that state is one to be mindful of. It can happen to anyone I think, so I wouldn't take for granted that people wouldn't ever get to that level.

I never have but I have lots of friends, probably more than half, that have thought about it in the past - one even told me about it last night.

No one is going to think about it unless it is one of the very few options left and they simply cannot see a way out of whatever predicament they are in. I consider myself extremely lucky never to have found myself in that situation.

I do find it surprisingly easy to empathise with, though. Life's circumstances can be ridiculously cruel sometimes!!

Rachel

I'll quickly add that my father hanged himself when I was six.. so my drug addled teenage brain would possibly have had a very different outlook on life to some..

"Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do."

hmmm. how about the scenario where somebody has been chronically depressed ( I don't mean just a bit pissed off with a few months off work, some anti depressants and back to work )for years, has no quality of life whatsoever, and is just dragging things on because they dont wish to upset their family or friends? I would say then that It's quite possibly selfish to pressure that person to just keep banging on through life, wittering about them to "Just get out and ride" "Just cheer up" and all that other banal shit people come out with to you when you suffer from depression.

Many people with self harming tendencies consider that not killing themselves is the selfish option as they can make their loved ones lives easier in the long run by killing themselves.

Also consider that some mental health conditions effectively switch of the common sense filter, People suffering from psychosis in any of it's three major forms don't necessarily have any control over a great number of their actions.

Mental health issues [i]always[/i] mitigate the 'selfish' aspect to suicide.

Yet, as tragic as it is, when someone 'in their right mind' chooses to end it all, it is certainly selfish. The father of a friend of mine lost his job and took his own life the very next day. Left two sons behind - one of whom found him hanging from a basement rafter. No one could believe it. To this day, I struggle to understand how someone could identify so strongly with their work that to lose their job meant that they had to end it all. I mean, what does that say to the survivors? 'You are not part of my identity. All that we have together is not part of my identity. My job: that was my identity.'

That's just how it came across.

This issue is so complexed and has so many different aspects to it that you could debate it forever.

The bottom line is that our way of life is souless and breeds selfishness, it also leaves a lot of people without any control over thier lives and this causes suffering.

Some people will do anything to have control or to end the suffering!

Our way of life is idiotic and degenerate! say what you want about those who take their own lives, what about those of use that go along with the lunacy ❓

I for one would see a way of life where people have more control over thier own destinies and where they are not put through a psychological meat grinder on a regular basis.

Stress, pollution, all the other shit we have to deal with, day in day out, is it any wonder there is so much mental illness or suicide for that matter.

Without biking or other activities how many of us would be in a bad way ❓ maybe it's about time we had some competent leadership, shit creek next stop the global shitemare, WTF do you think comes next ❓

Yes, I have considered it an option for years. The closest I came to going through with it was last August.

speaking personally, it definitely was not through any considerations for anyone else that stopped me. I was doing them a favour by saving them the hassle of me! It felt I failed because I didn't have the strength to go through with it.

What it did do was give me the kick I needed to talk to family and friends and my G.P. with everything - physical and mental - that I have been carrying around for as long as I remember. Things are being tackled now, but I'm cetainly not "cured" of the idea.

I always find it very sad when people feel that much despair and that there seems to be no one who can reach out to them.

Dreadful for families and friends - but selfish? No when you are so low how can it be?

Yep, thought about it. For a while my life was pretty shit. I was outed, it wasn't something I was even sure of myself, and suddenly at 15 I was labelled. Had some pretty awful experiences at school, and even at my gymnastics club (somewhere I'd been going since 6, by people who I thought were my friends). Embarked on a disastrous relationship with a girl (probably just because we were both in the same boat if I'm honest) and that ended very very badly, nearly ruining my relationship with my family. I was in a bad place. Thankfully for me, I found people who pretty much rescued me. Chris my housemate for one. He's a total brick, it's like having an older brother.

Very very happy now though. (and very pleased I never had the courage to go through with it)

It is selfish, but it is also understandable, humanity was never destined to be in such a bad place spiritually, what we endure now as a species is down to incompetent leadership and a lack of philosophical and spriritual teachers.

We need a new philosphy that puts quality of life above simply being manipulated by the rich and powerful.

Too many people nowadays are unhappy and have very little of what I would consider to be a good life.

As for me, I spend my time trying to get people to go biking and have a laugh, trying to get them into a good state of mind and away from those dark places everyone visits from time to time.

If we are to have a better way of life, then it will require that all of us contribute to creating it!

Never thought of it in the normal run of things, even when life has been pretty crap... But after my hip surgery when it took ages to regain any movement or feeling in my leg (enough that the doctors were pretty worried), yes it was a thought very much in my mind. Luckily I never had to take that thought any further.

Selfish? Maybe. Brave? Maybe. I think it's just not that simple, or mutually exclusive. I hope never to find out.

Yes, that's all i'm going to say, apart from those who think it's selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

There is nothing more selfish than suicide. It is THE most selfish and cowardly thing anyone can do

It's a quick, easy way out. Nothing more nothing less. All you leave behind us hurt and upset for other people. Oh yeah, you're out of it alright, your problems are solved. Everyone else's are just beginning.

Yes, I have considered it many years ago. I'm still here because I worked out how selfish it would have been.

Yes. On two occasions I have come close. I guess the thought of it going wrong and not wanting my last minutes on earth being stoned out of gourd plus the last time it would have left a hell of a mess (now, that would have been selfish) stopped me.

I ultimately see it as an inevitability really.

sc-xc - Member
Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do.

ton - Member
i agree with sc-xc.
he was still seeing his daughter on a weekly basis.
imagine how the kid feels.

Suicide is not about being selfish. It's about being trapped and there only being one way out.

Within five seconds I'd weighed it up and though the pain my children would have for the rest of their years would be more than the pain I had. 6 years on and I've come through bankruptcy, found the meaning of life and respect money better and still have my children.

I think suicide is a very cowardly way to shit out and leave others behind.

Depression dose not necessarily mean things are going wrong in your life. You may have been depressed due to things going wrong but many other people are not.

 

I'm still here because I worked out how selfish it would have been.

what if your mind isn't functioning well enough to figure that out - is it still selfish?

my uncle did it, was under huge pressure from paramilitary extortion in Belfast. still think he was a **** for doing it. there were answers.

There is nothing more selfish than suicide. It is THE most selfish and cowardly thing anyone can do

Of course it is. 🙄

Yes I've considered it, but only briefly, when I then realised I have so much to look forward to in life even if my current situation is terrible.

Strong words Peter! I mostly agree mind:

Not so often I put my mental nursie hat on here these days but:

Not sure I would say 'selfish', but it is very easy to underestimate the devistation on friends and to a greater extent family that comes from losing someone to suicide. I have heard many people tell me that their families would recover and be better off without them. It's simply not true. Currently working with someone who lost a close relative to suicide a couple of months ago, (and to a lesser extent the family) for which this is all too apparent.

It is impossible to quantify misery but a family a bit miserable looking after or just being around someone will in most cases be so much more miserable if/when they kill themself, and on most cases will stay so for so so much longer than if miserable person had died of accident or illness.

It is understood from research that the risk of 'completing' suicide (as opposed to thinking about it or taking an overdose, quickly regretting it and seeking treatment) in a person is much much higher if that person has also lost someone close to them or a close-ish relative to suicide recently. The cascade of suicides in Jeffrey Euginedes' "The Virgin Suicides" is a bit OTT as a story but is one kind of example, if a little far fetched.

So the person contemplating suicide ought to consider the fragility of anyone close to them and the possibility that their death may be a factor (rarely the sole reason, mind) in someone else's premature death too.

Oh and in response to the OP question, no. Given the job I do, for me it would be like Tony Hawk comtemplating rollerblades.

A very dear friend resorted to suicide about 17years ago totally out of the blue, nobody knew that there was anything wrong, he was the heart and soul of the party, captain of the Golf Club, loads of friends, my husbands long term golf partner. He took the hose from the vacuum cleaner attached it to the exhaust and locked himself in the car..... His wife did wonder what he was doing putting the hose in his car earlier that week! It is selfish in many ways in that those left behind feel like they have let the person down by not noticing that anything was wrong, they feel that their friendship with him was worth nothing as he wasn't able to confide in them and therefore have another avenue of possible help. I can also see that it must be an utterly dreadful thing to contemplate doing and the people who do must be in a hell of a place to think that it is the only way out or that by doing it they will relieve their friends and family of any burdens they cause them by living! Is it something about this time of year but 2 people within 200m of my house have committed suicide within the last 2 months, the most recent was sunday week ago, a lovely lady in her 50's who lived opposite jumped from a high rock at a local tourist spot ..........
I have suffered depression but thankfully never to the stage that i would contemplate taking my own life. In the words of another poster on here - you should never judge a man until you have walked in his footsteps!

Yes, that's all i'm going to say, apart from those who think it's selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

I new someone who recently took is own life,Houns is absoloutly right when he says the above,Until you have been in a very "dark place" it will always seem selfish, to others that have never experienced deppression,my thoughts are with his family and friends.. 🙁

I think about it sometimes as kind of a "comfort" to myself. Like there is a way out. Went to counselling but it didn't work for me. I hope I don't get that low again but I probably will. It's strange to read that other people think in the same way. I always think I must be the only one, especially when at a low ebb. I don't understand why I feel more down in summer?

I don't understand why I feel more down in summer?

I get this. For me I think it's because I see more couples around, which depresses me, and that summer can be a chore for me because I [i]always[/i] have to put on sun cream if I'm in the sun and I get fed up of it. Plus summer is never the sunny, warm, dry season I always expect it to be in this country. Turns out it's a grey as the rest of the year, more often than not. Still, I'm looking forward to it!

A friend of mine did the same in Novemeber, similar age had a wife but no kids.

I've come to terms with him as he was severely clinically depressed (sectioned, medicated, tried before) but it's his wife dealing with it that I still can't settle with. Amazing guy, very, very intelligent (hence the depression) but had been dealing with it for some time.

We had commemorative tattoos for him on Sunday (6 of his closest friends).

One of the hardest things is the questions it raises and the complete confirmation that you will never get answers for them. It's given me a lot of perspective and drive in my life. I only recent felt as though I had dealt with it. Hope you get through ok.

Surprised no one's referred to this [url=

[/url] - it's really good. Though I think the earnestness will play better to an American audience than a British one.

Ton may remember this as I posted on here and he replied when I had got back from the last of the following.
Three times last Summer year I packed a rucksack,plan was to step off of Lochnagar,leave my pack at he edge of the cliff,take my camera in my hand,one big step and no more worries.Insurance sorted out as well as it would look like an accident.First time I put the keys in the car,last time I made it as far as the plateau,Yes to selfish,but you get in a place where you don't give a shit,all you care about is and end to everything.
For me it was the rejection of the Christianity I had followed for 20 years, and my wife leaving me for a while,quite rightly,because of my moods (I would sit in a dark room all weekend)NOTHING mattered more than making the worries go away,not my kids or anything,and the sun rises and sets with them.For any lurkers or posters who think they may be depressed,talk to somebody.It may help

Yes but only in a "I wonder what it's like and can't imagine going through with it" kind of way, I haven't been nearly low enough to consider doing it.

And [url= http://www.theonion.com/articles/grown-adult-actually-expects-to-be-happy,19442/ ]this[/url] brilliant Onion article!

Why all the talk about "happy happy!" as if it's somehow an attainable (or even desirable) goal? It's such a vacuous idea. A marketing thing, an advertising thing, that benefits big business, not individuals.

There would be fewer suicides if our society was oriented around the objective of getting smart and learning $hit, rather than getting happy, because the latter makes people who are perceptive enough to grasp our true - generally dark - situation feel like they're missing out on the party, which is enough to drive them to drink and worst.

Schopenhauer - "The man who goes up in a balloon does not feel as if he were ascending; he only sees the earth sinking deeper below him"

It's simplifying things to just label it as selfish. As others have rightly said, it's a way out when everything seems hopeless, and when you're in that position, you're not exactly in a rational place. As a psychiatric nurse, I deal with it on an all too regular basis, and in my personal life, I'll admit there have been times when I've been really low and thought 'what if?'.

I wanted to kill my manager once?

Seriously, I think you need to talk to Smaritans or a Gp if you feel that way.

Stay strong.

never really contemplated it beyond moody hormonal teenage goth and not seriously. I can see why people think it is selfish but in all honesty I suspect few people of sound mind and body do this or contemplate it seriously. If you want to further burden them with your scorn and disapproval then shame on you. W[here]TF is your compassion for their suffering...they hurt so much they thought they and the people they loved would be better off without them. Anyone that upset has my deepest sympathies and my utter unswaying support.
If you are affected as others note many people get through it and please seek help.
To those of you who have comtemplated it and discussed it openly and honestly on here you have my total respect. Glad you are all still with us unlike sorely missed Jah Wobble... guitar threads are not the same.

Yes, many times. Have a history of depression and suffer from OCD which is actually far far worse than the depression believe me.

As for the selfish thing, as others have said, far too simplistic. When you get to the point where you contemplate these things you are convinced, or at least i was, that the ones you leave behind will be better off not worse. You feel as though you are a permanent dark presence that takes a lot of the enjoyment from their lives and that they honestly would be better off without you around.

I came very close to ending it all a few years back, when I'd lost all hope, and saw no way of ever being happy or having a normal life again. It was only the thought of what I would be leaving behind that stopped me seeing it through.

A friend at school's dad committed suicide - he couldn't find work as a supply teacher, and his business was going down the pan. His youngest son found him in the garage, dead in his car. Horrible stuff, everyone felt incredibly sorry for the family and the bloke himself, but no-one knew what to say at all. Hard enough when you're an adult to know what to do in that situation, never mind in your mid-teens.

My ex's best friend committed suicide too, at the age of 22. He jumped off a building. No-one knew he was depressed, he'd said he'd be at my then-boyfriend's birthday meal which was a week later. But when they went through his things, they found his diary with the name of the building on the day he committed suicide, and every day after that in the rest of the diary crossed out. Such a waste, he was clever, had loads of friends, a loving family... no-one understood why.

I simply can't begin to comprehend how anyone could contemplate it.

Started typing a reply with all my reasoning etc, but then remembered ynuki has put it in the best way possible, with experience to back it up. Re-read his post.

Personally I could never (excepting debilatating terminal illness) contemplate it. I am far, far stronger than that.

No

Witnessed the aftermath a few times and tbh you have to be a fairly selfish, narcissistic ass to go through with it.

Me neither, but I dispute that suicide is an act of weakness. It must take incredible balls, both physically in terms of the act of doing it, and spiritually in terms of the giant leap into the unknown

It's definitely a regular feature of my life, but then I have a mental illness. Only way I generally describe it is imagine everything in your life that ever gave you pleasure, made life worth living for you, including people, family, work, etc. Ceases to bring pleasure, and even any meaning to your life at all. For completely inexplicable reasons. You're simply reduced to mere existence in a world you cannot relate to on any level.
Suddenly the lines between living, and not living, become very very blurred, even irrelevant.

I should add also that nobody knows what's going on inside people's heads, we all have an inner life. The happy family man with a good job, he may well be going through the motions and projecting a face considered acceptable to the environment he finds himself in.

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed!

Oh another question - does a junky or an alcoholic killing themselves with smack or booze qualify? Was George Best in some sense a suicide? Both guys from Alice in Chains?

Not an act of weakness at all, but the selfish actions of someone's son, daughter, lover, friend, mother, father; someone who mattered.

If you have ever got to do it think of those you will leave behind

No, thankfully.

It's always seemed like a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I guess I'm lucky that none of my problems have ever felt permanent.

I've thought about it more than once, but thinking about it and carrying it out are two completly different matters.

I've lost three friends who all commited suicide, one hung himself, another jumped in the path of a lorry, and the third took an overdose which she had done more than once which was normally a cry for help, just this time the drugs coupled with the damage caused by previous attemps meant it was fatal just as her life seemed to be getting sorted.

mortuk2k

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed!

POSTED 24 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST'

Enlighten me?

One of my best childhood friends stuffed a Browning 9mm in his mouth and blew his brains out. I have spent the past 23 years asking a) why and b) What could I have done?

It's a terrific epitaph - so when you are so up yourself I would personally and selfishly be glad of closure.

Whilst we are at it a childhood chum did a double suicide pact with a mate of his. The forest I was in charge of was where he and his mate did it; met his sis a few years back - what a *** mess.

Hell yes I'm a fan!

Seriously guys; the best I can come up with is, to quote the words of Full Metal Jacket life 'it's a huge * sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite!'

Think of the impacts - and apologies if I'm unsympathetic but someone has to pick up the pieces

When times have been tough and things felt like they were irreversably shit , For the briefest of seconds I've thought about throwing myself under something heavy at work. Now I have to point out by the briefest of seconds means the shortest time imagineable but i cant deny the thought was never there at all.
The Millisecond is always chased away by visions of my wife , kids , dog , parents and even riding my bike.
I've lost friends to heroin , suicide and bike accidents , I've also lost family to untimely cancer and to end your life voluntarily seems a waste.

+1

Life is so crap for most of us so PLEASE share the pain.....

Besides you may be worth it after all! 😆

Go easy peeps! 😉

mmmm

seems like most people have, at some point. I wonder what implication this heralds for our current philosophies and/or social structures??

Me? Yes.

Do I think it's cowardly? No - just decisive.

Is it ever the best option? No, no-one knows what's round the corner, E.g. committing suicide with a lottery ticket in your pocket.

I'm off to read bataille whilst drunk

VIV

Good thinking! I know a bloke who gives good odds on Russian Roulette?

Is that like 'not knowing what's round the corner'?

I'm off to read Arthur Scargill's biography wish me luck.........

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

selfish ?
my aunt has tried a few times first time whole family was shocked 4 young kids good job marriage etc it did seen selfish police got involved realised they were trying to chase her in a child abuse case turns out she had been abused at local church (she's from very religious family) years back wanted her to.testify years of therapy only seen to have made her worse
happy ending would have her go to court get the tucker sent down and move on with her life making a great home for her kids
the reality is pretty much the opposite of that and has had,a devasyaing affect on my family
I don't ever think id call her selfish though

.Insurance sorted out as well as it would look like an accident.

Not any more it won't.

Seriously though - please don't. You're not terminally ill so if you do it's going to be your own pain multiplied by the number of people who care about you. That would make the world a worse place.

I don't see the people in my life who've chosen to end it as selfish. I'm sorry that some people may.

You're not terminally ill so if you do it's going to be your own pain multiplied by the number of people who care about you.

What do you mean by this? Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill? If so, are there different degrees of social tolerance towards suicide for terminal illness, such as MS versus incurable cancer?

I should add also that nobody knows what's going on inside people's heads, we all have an inner life.

Agreed. However...

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed

I had to think very carefully before posting this. In life you have choice. No matter how hard it gets, there will always be people that in some way depend on you; your actions are a key component to how they live their lives. By taking your life you are making the easier choice; by living you accept that the pain you feel may continue or increase, and therefore this (I feel) is true bravery. Is suicide cowardly? I want to be PC and say no, but for me, in my heart, I feel it is, especially if you bring children into the world. I don't think you have the right to give in.

I need to think a little more about this, so I'm going for a ride.

What do you mean by this? Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill? If so, are there different degrees of social tolerance towards suicide for terminal illness, such as MS versus incurable cancer?

Good point. Let's say "unpleasant illness giving intolerable suffering to you with attendant distress to those who care about you", then yes, suicide is more acceptable/understandable. That is why places such as the suicide clinic in Switzerland exist - a dignified way to leave via a moral, informed choice and a civilised procedure.

I have spent the last 10 years of my life working solely with people who self harm and those that have tried to off themselves, I also provide reports to the coroner on cases of suspected suicides. I still find my self amazed at some of the stories I hear. But I'm not really sure the arguements about selfishness of the act, really offer any insight, and is generally just a means for us to deal with our own feelings about the subject and in how we are dealing with our own lives.

No.

My brother in law committed suicide in over 10 years ago. It left my wife as an only child. It has turned our lives upside down, forced us to change our own life plans and has really been the defining event of our adult lives (for the worse).

Worse again he left behind a young daughter whose life has irrevocably changed for the worse.

I would never contrmplate suicide having seen the damage it does to the lives of those left behind.

Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill?

Not an act of weakness at all, but the selfish actions of someone's son, daughter, lover, friend, mother, father; someone who mattered.

Which brings us back to the point that no one of sound mind would do this …given this why do you call ill people selfish? Like with all mental illness there is a stigma and a perception that they should all just MTFU and make it better. I once a bit depressed for second but I managed to pull myself together for other peole and battle on so why cant they therefore it is their fault and their choice to do this. We are not all made equally. I don’t undertand how someone could leave their children it seems like madness to me rather than selfish what do you think TS ? Imagine being so low you think your kids are better off without you than with you. Why say selfish when ill is a better description? Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding.

I believe there is a question to be answered first as to whether an individual has a right to take their own life (i.e commit suicide). I believe this is singly perhaps the most important right within any true liberal and democratic society.

Once this is addressed then I believe the issue of selfishness is no longer relevant. Indeed the selfish act is being committed by the very people who say the act of suicide is selfish itself. It is these very people who seem to wish to burden others with the thoughts of being selfish for simply exercising their fundamental right to take the own life.

I think a lot of people are terrified of mental illness. This seriously compounds the problems for those who aren't well!

People are quick to judge those who are unwell, but basically, they don't want anything to do with this illness because they feel vulnerable to becoming depressed themselves. We all have our own demons, so people don't like going there!

There are plenty of people on disability benefits/off work due to being diagnosed with anxiety and depression who aren't really that unwell, but see it a good way of getting some paid "me time". Like those who used to have imaginary bad backs. Shame on that small minority because it tars those who are genuinely ill as skiving layabouts!

For those who are trully depressed it's an isolated "slow burn" living hell and due to the fear people have of those who feel like this, these people are on their own. Even family members struggle to find the energy to care for those who are suffering.

In January this year, my brother-in-law hanged himself after my sister announced she was having an affair and was leaving him. He was a thoroughly decent hardworking guy who never put a foot wrong in our eyes in the 25 years we knew him.

We were pretty dismayed at my sister for even contemplating an affair, but what was especially alarming was the brutal manner in which she ended the relationship. I shan't bore you with the details, but it was ugly!

The day before he died, he spent 3 hours with my wife and i, telling us where he thought he'd gone wrong. He was wrong on most of his concerns, but didn't want to hear our take on things, he just wanted to tell us his piece.

He did not have a bad word to say about my sister throughout the two week bust up and defended her at every stage. He said he still loved her, that she was the only one for him and that he would "go" if she didn't want to try and work with him to fix things. He wanted her to live alone in their house and he was going to move back to his mum's while they tried to work things through. She declined.

He said he'd leave the house which they had worked so hard to buy and refurbish and everything else he had. We didn't realise what he was saying by the word "go" until two days later when my sister found him hanging in their newly built garage.

He wrote several notes to various people and my sister had one read out at the funeral. From all of these, whilst he was clearly not in his right mind, he seemed to think he was doing everyone a favour. It seemed like his suicide was an unselfish act.

We learned after his death that he had self-confidence issues which began with some very unhappy things that happened to him when he was a small child. It was all centred around the break up of his parent's marriage and basically, his mum totally rejected him for two years. His mother then had him back, but then he was used as a bargaining chip. The effects of this unjust treatment were to last him the rest of his life.

We just had no idea because he was such a decent happy go lucky sort of guy, so my advice to those who want to call suicide victims out as being selfish, is to go away and do some research.

We have suffered greatly since he died, but I don't think he really understood how much impact his death would have on everyone. I've done the whole spectrum of emotions over it, but still believe he had lost all capacity to be rational.

My advice to anyone contemplating suicide is to hold off, things will get better. I believe it is the enduring nature of depression and the overiding desolation that pushes rational thought out the window. He just needed to escape and thought this would solve everyone's problems.

We live in a hardass society and showing a little compassion to others goes a long way to making people feel a bit better about themselves. This even applies to those who don't appear to be unhappy! You can't see people's inner turmoil as they wear a mask, or simple don't display emotion. E.G. This week at work, when we were all going through a tough time, i was acused of being laid back and not bothered. The reality was that i was feeling very anxious. So my advice is never judge a book by it's cover!

Random acts of kindness could save a life! At the very least you will brighten someone's day.

Edit.

RIP. That is all.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

Hear hear.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

Hear hear.

+1!

my thoughts are with his family and friends.

who are in that place because of the actions of one person upon themself.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

My compassion and understnding are with the living - not the dead. That includes those contemplating suicide, so don't get on your high horse there. People need help and I support that fully. However, suicide creates far more problems for 'loved ones' than it has ever solved.

People need help and I support that fully

But do you understand what these people are actually going through in their heads? Being depressed enough to commit suicide is NOT the same as being down in the dumps, where a hug and kind word will make the world right again for them. It is an illness that has eaten away at them so greatly that no cure has worked and the only way to fix it is to end their life. Do you understand that? I mean [i]truly, deeply[/i] fathom this concept? This is not a criticism if you don't, because very few people do - it's hard to comprehend how depression works if you don't suffer from it.

I've thought about it a lot in the past, and still do (but more like urgh - no thanks).

I was always too scared of it, it felt too final for me, and my 'hope' always seems to win out.

I seem to have up and periods, but thankfully more up these days, so I'm winning. I think biking and the outdoors has helped a great deal 🙂

It's not like perfectly normal people get up in the morning and decide, on a whim, to kill themselves. Excluding people with terminal illnesses, few (if any) people in their right minds decide to end it all.

I'd have had absolute sympathy and compassion for my friends family had he done what he considered so seriously, but I much preferred to be there for him during his descent mentally and do what I could to avoid it getting there (ultimately not much really).