[Closed] evening reception guest - gift giving etiquette?

If it was just the evening do and you're not that close, it'd be £enoughforamealoutonthehoneymoon from me

I'd just not go and spend the money on a takeaway. You said yourself, you're not that close 🙂

I would regretfully have a prior arrangement to be honest.

If you go, you've got to give them more than a card. I would also be, unfortunately, busy with some other thing.

Hmmm, On the one hand i'd be inclined to duck out - I've got an ironman a fortnight after the wedding and got one last 100mile bike ride the following morning.

However it would be nice to pop along for a couple of hours to catch up with some old mutual friends whom I assume/think may also be going.

But not as nice as the extra $100+ holiday spending money would be for my holiday starting the day after the ironman...

Christ what is it with people !

Obviously op has been invited because groom would like to say hello. Friendship is worth more than wedding gifts. Just turn up, enjoy the evening, and one day you may be able to reciprocate

Free bar? I could go in your stead.

i'm adverse to giving monetary gifts at weddings.... surely you invited me because you want me to share in your experience, not becuase you are hoping to turn a profit.

i'll give a gift. it may be entirely pointless, but it's likely to raise a smile. lst wedding i gave the groom a pair of funky socks. the bride got nothing, but she's a sour tart. groom still wears his socks. doubt he remembers the 100's of €€s or what he did with it that he got from our other friends.

OP, turn up, say hello and enjoy the evening. no money and no cards.... cards are a waste of paper, IMO, and are a bit of a damp suib when there is no money in there.

thestabiliser - Member

Free bar? I could go in your stead.

sounds like it's best you go to bed... no more beers for you.

Do evening guests give gifts now?

Who knew 😉

The invite makes no mention

Invitation. The word is invitation. One is invited via an invitation.

Grrrr.

Anyway, someone you clearly have no interest in has invitationed [sic] you to their wedding. Why? That's what you should be asking. As in, why have they invitationed [sic] you and why should you attend? Had similar a couple of years ago when an old uni friend I had totally lost contact with as lived had moved massively apart suddenly reappeared to invitation [sic] me to his second wedding. I hadn't even known there was a first! The invitationing [sic] was politely declined.

These days I attend weddings based on this criteria:

- Am I happy these people are getting married?
- Will my being there make either of the people getting married happy?

If the answer to either is no. Then I'd not go. If you're not that close then politely decline. I've been to weddings where I wish I'd not bothered, but I've never seen a wedding I didn't go to and wish I had.

For me, it'd be nice to turn up for an hour or two, buy the couple a drink and wish them well over a brieff catch up and be on my way.

However if the convention is you cannot turn up empty handed (as is often said to be the case) then I'd rather not spend $150 on the night when that could go towards my holiday at the end of the month.

This is against the backdrop of a wedding I was at last month where between the stag doo, kilt hire, wedding spending money & gift I spent just shy of a grand! Attending weddings are expensive affairs!

FFS you bunch of grumpy gits. Turn up with a card and say hello to a few people. At my wedding some evening guest threw £20 in the card, some did not, I did not hold it against those who didn't (in fact, 3 years on, I can't remember who did or didn't). The person will undoubtedly appreciate you being there.

There is a lot of salt in this thread

FFS you bunch of grumpy gits. Turn up with a card and say hello to a few people.

There is a lot of salt in this thread

Get off my lawn!

We need more information. Do you know anybody else going ? Do you even like the guy ? Is there free booze ?

It might be that the bride has loads of single friends and the groom doesn't, so (no insult intended) is scraping around a bit to make the numbers match. You could well be some fresh man meat.

Evening receptions are always rubbish. I recently got tricked into on that meant travelling miles and spending on hotels etc. That'll teach me not to read the invite properly.

All the guests will still be stuffed and knackered, and pissed, from the days proceedings. The evening reception is to invite people who are not important enough to come to the main event.

Just don't go ...

We got married a couple of months back.

My wife was a bit put out by those that didn't give gifts, but only because she considered it 'the done thing' (think she's been reading too many wedding magazines). I take the opportunity to gently chide her for this attitude whenever I think I can get away with it.

Me on the other hand, I was genuinely happy just to have the folk there, especially since we didn't put on a free bar! Also enjoyed the funky/silly gifts also, including an Aeropress (use it every day) and a mystery camembert baker that we still haven't identified the giver of.

As an aside, whatever happened to that Mumsnet story of the bride asking her friend to 'reconsider' her gift because it was too small?

Miserable gits!

Turn up for a little bit, sounds like you might actually enjoy it!

Buy a £20 john lewis voucher or a load of scratch cards if you're really not sure what to get. Or order something quaint off notonthehighstreet with both their names on

I was wondering about that mumsnet thing the other day. [url= http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2630932-Post-wedding-message-please-help-me-what-the-hell-do-I-say?pg=41 ]Seems it petered out[/url], and nothing really was reported. I still think it may have been made up. Who knows.

100% no need to take a present... make the card though