Eurovision Song Con...
 

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[Closed] Eurovision Song Contest – Tactical voting

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The Russians got booed in the semi finals last night despite being represented by a blonde teenage twin girls. I wonder how the former Soviet Bloc will vote, especially those from the southern end of it where Putin’s Panzers are revving their engines and the paratroopers are buffing their webbing.

I predict a win on Saturday for Ukraine followed by protracted and bloody war. Or, if the likes of Moldova and Azerbaijan score the Russians highly (out of kiss-ass fear), I predict a Scandinavian win. Followed in the southern former Soviet Republics by protracted and bloody war.

UK will finish in the bottom third, as will Germany and France because everybody hates us and we are too honest to vote politically.

Iceland will do well because they are good looking, a bit weird, are not seen as a threat and the rest of us think that they spend their free time drinking heavily and have kinky sex near volcanos.

Beer and crisps on the shopping list and a house full of friends coming round to watch the spectacle unravel.

The quality of the songs is largely irrelevant. Bring it on.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 10:48 am
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Are you sure you're not… well….. you know? You definitely seem to help them out at least one weekend a year?

Oh… and Ukranine are nailed on winners this year, even if they just came on and played white noise, and screamed through a foghorn into a shipping container. I predict some former soviet republics getting their gas supplies cut off on monday morning


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 10:51 am
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The political argy bargy has started already!

The whole thing is a farce, albeit a mildly entertaining one. I value the hours too much to watch though.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 10:56 am
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Tactical voting? Never! It's always based entirely on talent and the best possible song.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 10:57 am
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We don't watch the songs either. On account of them being universally bloody awful. But we predict the results (all on political grounds) and watch them come in.

I might put some money on Ukraine actually. My cousin put £20 on Turkey to win when we'd just invaded Iraq, as everyone would just placate the Muslim nation they'd just refused to let join the EU again. He got 25-1. They won. Not a bad nights work that.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 10:59 am
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Watched Lordi on Youtube last night. Not been a better song for years, although last years Greek Ska was a slightly entertaining effort.

My prediction is we'll give Ireland 12 (certainly at least 8 ) and they might give us the 3 points we need to not be "Royaume Uni nil points".


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:07 am
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it costs the BBC 310k a year to be a permanent member of the eurovision, maybe it's time to apply for Patten's newly vacant position... hmmmmm


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:09 am
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What odds can you get on Ukraine?


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:10 am
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If only there was some sort of easily accessible electronic information system where we could find that out! Oh, wait.

http://www.oddschecker.com/tv/eurovision

Ten to one, apparently.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:14 am
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Not through a works computer though!


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:19 am
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My brother's out there right now, he's been to one of the semis and I think he's going to the final too. The only heterosexual in the village.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:33 am
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Very rare best song dosn't win, people who say it's fixed talk twaddle.
Israel entry 1998 sung by a transexual, rest my case and yes i was strangley attracted.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:42 am
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Not through a works computer though!

Damn you and your reasonable objections.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:42 am
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I've had a punt on Ukraine at 10-1. Ideally, I'm hoping Putin carpet bombs the place on Friday night


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:10 pm
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buffing their webbing.

Sorry to be a pain, but you don't buff webbing, you apply blanco to it.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:13 pm
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Waxing their bayonets?


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:22 pm
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you mean

paratroopers are buffing their webbing
isn't a euphemism ? 😯


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:22 pm
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Sorry, I retract my comment. Further research shows that webbing used to be made of leather, which you can buff.
Back to the Eurovision Song Contest.

(Netherlands look good to me.)


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:27 pm
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The Russia entry.

[img] [/img]

They'll have to do something utterly disgusting to avoid nul points.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:29 pm
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We can but hope.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:32 pm
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They'll have to do something utterly disgusting

I hope so.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:32 pm
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They'll have to do something utterly disgusting to avoid nul points
Who do I send suggestions to? 🙂
Every year we have an assortment of neighbours up to watch Eurovision together, accompanied by lashings of alcohol. An excellent evening's entertainment.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:35 pm
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Maybe it won't be Iceland's year after all.

[img] [/img]

But now we know where Angus Deayton has been hiding.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:35 pm
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Harry_the_Spider - Member
The Russians got booed,I predict a win for Ukraine, Or I predict a Scandinavian win.
UK will finish in the bottom third, as will Germany and France because everybody hates us and we are too honest to vote politically.

Iceland will do well because they are good looking, a bit weird, are not seen as a threat and the rest of us think that they spend their free time drinking heavily and have kinky sex near volcanos.

The quality of the songs is largely irrelevant. Bring it on.

Not much of a FIFY, but I do wonder if you've ever watched Eurovision before??

I think not.

I predict the Gay Transvestite will win again.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:35 pm
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I predict the Gay Transvestite will win again.

But which one?


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:43 pm
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Well, I'm voting for Beardy McAxerson and the Timothy Claypoles.

[img] [/img]

Unfortunately, the fat bloke singing about his Belgian mum didn't get through yesterday. Travesty!


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:46 pm
 grum
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We don't watch the songs either. On account of them being universally bloody awful.

That's the whole point you fool!


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 12:49 pm
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Harry_the_Spider - Member

The Russia entry.

They don't look very Russian those twins.

The one on the right got the David Coulthard jaw line ... ewwwweehhh ...

😯


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:11 pm
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They'll have to do something utterly disgusting

Apart from sing ?
I fail to see why , even post ironic piss up, anyone could endure this shit


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:30 pm
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and that is why you haven't got an invite to my Eurovision party.

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:33 pm
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chewkw - Member

The one on the right got the David Coulthard jaw line ... ewwwweehhh ...

Probably one of his million children.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:36 pm
 DezB
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[i]I fail to see why , even post ironic piss up, anyone could endure this shit[/i]

Yes indeed. Plenty of better ways to spend the hours than watching annoying rubbish.


 
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:37 pm

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