[Closed] Eating hamburgers with a knife and fork.

Problem isn't the burger, it's the over-stuffed roll/bap it's served in. Once you add bacon, onion rings, peppers, cheese and some random green stuff it's too big to eat from the hand without stuff squirting out the sides.

My boss does this. And he's a farmer with mahoosive hands!!

Are we talking;

[img] [/img]

or

[img] [/img]

A hamburger should be easily handled

Pick it up and get in there I say. Both hands and face will wash after the event if needs be.

The behaviour of freaks!

I bet they hold their knives like pens and everything

Your sitting in a restaurant on your phone and your having a go at peoples table manners...

Yup I’ve done but from proper burgers like these.

[img] [/img]

Sometimes I’ll snip a particularly big specimen in half with gobbling rods, but mostly it’s a handheld affair...

It's the ones who use knives and forks on pizzas that are the worst. Sick bastards

I'm messaging from under the table so it merely looks like I'm abusing myself.

Yup I’ve done but from proper burgers like these.

Yeah. Sometimes its needed when the burger is too big to hold.
Admittedly I tend to try and avoid those sort of burgers since it does feel wrong.

I'm messaging from under the table so it merely looks like I'm [s]abusing myself[/s] skinning up.

The key with burgers is once you pick it up don't put it back down again otherwise they start to fall apart.
Once held it has to be eaten.

It's the ones who use knives and forks on pizzas that are the worst. Sick bastards

[img] http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FnTMT5VUxN0/TngcaBW83_I/AAAAAAAAAMg/duNKfgVeHXg/s1600/Trump+Palin+Eating+Pizza.jp g" target="_blank">http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FnTMT5VUxN0/TngcaBW83_I/AAAAAAAAAMg/duNKfgVeHXg/s1600/Trump+Palin+Eating+Pizza.jp g"/> [/img]

Proves my point nicely. Thank you sir 🙂

I much prefer a knife and fork on pizzas and burgers. I sometimes even use them on garlic bread.

My wife does. Pizza and burgers. Weird. I, of course use my hands and lick them or wipe them on my trews.

I much prefer a knife and fork on pizzas and burgers. I sometimes even use them on garlic bread.

PM me if you need to talk. We can all help you. You've admitted that you're broken and that's the first step. Well done and stay brave.

I had a co-worker who used chopsticks to eat sandwiches so I think I am normal.

Don't slip in to denial on me brick 😉

Whilst in Canada in 2000 I tried to outdo my Canadian friend who'd asked for an 'overloaded 1/2 pounder' by asking for a 'double overloaded' one.
Now, I can eat but when it came I thought, 'ohh shiit, what have I done'

It was either a knife & fork job or really really messy hands/face/shirt/table/floor.

*it was in roadside eatery near Red Deer, Alberta.

It was either a knife & fork job or really really messy hands/face/shirt/table/floor.

Please say you went for the v messy hands, face, shirt combo? Don't let me down essel. Lie to me if it makes it easier.

Half the fun of eating burgers, pizza, chicken legs etc is the freedom from the shackles of cutlery.

Eat them how you like, quite why someone has to comment on how people eat is odd.

Anyway, you’ll be eating burgers and fries via this one day..
[img] [/img]

I think it was intended as a fun thread?

bikebouy is Dracs other login?

Please say you went for the v messy hands, face, shirt combo? Don't let me down essel. Lie to me if it makes it easier.

I copied off Brad, my Canadian friend. Messy business.

Anyway, you’ll be eating burgers and fries via this one day..

Smoothies are healthy, yes?

Saw the title and thought "Germans"!

What about hot dogs......

[img] [/img]

scotroutes - Member
bikebouy is Dracs other login?

Ohh cheeky You.

I’m not [i]that[/i] dour.

I posted the pic because, simply, why would anyone take a McDonald’s meal and blend it.. the story goes on they then sucked it through a straw...

The only issue I have with eating is the “chewing with open mouth” embarrassment scenario..

Ewe.

I posted the pic because, simply, why would anyone take a McDonald’s meal and blend it.. the story goes on they then sucked it through a straw...

Possibly influenced by this classic album

[img] [/img]

bikebouy is Dracs other login?

As a mod you agreed not to give that a way.

[img] [/img]

Burgers that you can't pick up in your hands (and preferably hold in one after the first couple of bites - leaving your other hand free for beer) due to being overfilled with unnecessary ingredients, or even worse, fall apart due to soggyness are a massive, massive fail, and shouldn't be allowed.

They could maybe rename them to "Food with accompanying bun arrangement", but that's about it.

Firstly a confession: I like eating pizza with cutlery.

But burgers? That's just an admission of failure. One of my proudest achievements as a teenager was being the only one of my peers able to properly eat a Damn Yankee Robert E Lee half pounder (smothered, and I mean soaked, in barbeque sauce).

As others have mentioned, the key is to get the initial lift right. You only get one go at it, and once it's in the hand, it's there for the duration.

Huge fan of KFC's Zinger box meal ..and my side order is always gravy ..Im sure that this is purely meant for dipping your chips in ( no euphemism intended)..but once the burger is down to size ..in it goes bun and all..
Anyone else ?

Have you lot never been to a Wimpy ?

1/4 pounder with cheese, in a brown eaten, with a knife and fork.

[img] [/img]

I love the 80s

That was the posh version of Wimpy though. They also had one for normal people too. Huddersfield had both. Guess which one was the busiest?

Once a month (once!! Child cruelty right there) my Mother would take me to this establishment. We’d sit, we’d order, anxiety would settle in, it would arrive.. the most juicy succulent burger coupled with elegantly fine fries..

The meal lasted all of about 16seconds.. and the clean up operation lasted about 15mins..

[img] [/img]

But back on topic, burgers are great. I have issues now with the amount of juice they excrete and the shere size of the things.. but mostly I dislike the soggy bottom bun.. saturated in gunk.
So I see no issue with using cutlery on occasions where the burger is teetering on the edge of collapse.

Wendy's? Ugh. Culver's ftw.

Were Wendy's the place that did the square burgers?

The biggest crime is not eating burgers with a knife and fork but eating a burger served in a brioche bun. It's not right.

Have to admit I’ve done it recently.

Llandgela visitors centre (burgers are amazing if you haven’t had the chance).

Firstly they’ve massive and complex, they don’t even close them, the come in 2 halves.

Secondly it was packed, no elbow room to be had.

Thirdly I was stinking, washed hands of course but the rest of me was a sea of mud and rain water.

Fourthly - the serve them in a board (the animals) which is exactly 95% the size of its contents.

All the above made the correct MO impossible.

I felt dirty.

Used to love eating burgers with a knife and fork in the wimpy 8)

Firstly they’ve massive and complex, they don’t even close them, the come in 2 halves.

FFS!

I like brioche buns

The biggest crime is when the burger size and bap size do not work. I don't mind if the burger comes out the size, but if the burger is too small for the bap, so you get a bit that is bap only, then that is wholely unacceptable

Knife and fork is wrong, although if it's a monster burger then I sometimes cut it in half just to be able to handle it easily enough to get my gob around it

It doesn't matter if you eat it with the hands or with cutlery. What matters is the fabulous taste! 🙂

Hey, I was like 7 yeah. Wendy’s was awesome when you were 7.... and actually right up until puberty as it happens.

siwhite - Member
Sometimes I’ll snip a particularly big specimen in half with [b]gobbling rods[/b], but mostly it’s a handheld affair...

Brilliant 😆

at home, or in the office, always eaten by hand. bt in restaurants, I'm afraid the knife and fork come out. pizzas too.

burgers I do tend to just cut in half and grab, calzone pizza I once treated like a really big pastie, but got lots of strange looks form folk, and most of it in my lap.

if you can't pick it up because it's too fat / tall, deconstruct it then put it back together so it's manageable.
take the side salad out and put it on the side where it belongs.
chop the burger if it's too thick.
compress it.
a burger should allow you to take a full-gape bite.

if you can't pick it up because it's too fat / tall, deconstruct it then put it back together so it's manageable

This, but also I'm shamed to admit to also

I like eating pizza with cutlery

I think it depends on the pizza. Proper pizzas like the ones you get in france (I've never been to italy) are best eaten with cutlery but big fat dominoes style ones is hands all the way.

Forget burgers, I saw a guy eating a white bread sandwich with a knife and fork the other day, now that was wrong!

if you can't pick it up because it's too fat / tall, deconstruct it then put it back together so it's manageable.
take the side salad out and put it on the side where it belongs.
chop the burger if it's too thick.
compress it.

By which time you could have eaten it.

Happy to eat big burgers with a knife and fork. Couldn't really give a toss what others think.

A few years ago my forks started mysteriously disappearing.

I eventually tracked down why. I had a mate who'd come round for beers, we'd get a movie on and order pizza. He ate his pizza with a fork and once finished he'd pop the fork in the pizza box and close the lid. All unbeknown to me of course, when I then threw the pizza boxes in the bin.

For this reason, if you use cutlery to eat pizza, you are a monster.

if you can't pick it up because it's too fat / tall, deconstruct it then put it back together so it's manageable.
take the side salad out and put it on the side where it belongs.
chop the burger if it's too thick.
compress it.

Using only your hands of course..

I was working in Germany (Menden) last month and found a place called the XXL Schnitzelhaus, they did a 30cm burger and if you were hungry they'd do a double, sod the cutlery you needed a chainsaw to cut one of the things in half.

http://www.xxl-schnitzelhaus-menden.de/speisekarte.php

Cougar - Moderator
A few years ago my forks started mysteriously disappearing.

I eventually tracked down why. I had a mate who'd come round for beers, we'd get a movie on and order pizza. He ate his pizza with a fork and once finished he'd pop the fork in the pizza box and close the lid. All unbeknown to me of course, when I then threw the pizza boxes in the bin.

For this reason, if you use cutlery to eat pizza, you are a monster.

WTAF? You threw away the boxes without looking inside? There could have been perfectly viable breakfast left in there